


Carpe Noctem

by Cinerari



Series: Carpe Noctem [1]
Category: Captain Harlock, Interstella 5555, Ozuma, コスモウォーリアー零 | Cosmo Warrior Zero, 銀河鉄道物語 | Ginga Tetsudou Monogatari | The Galaxy Railways, 銀河鉄道９９９ | Ginga Tetsudou 999 | Galaxy Express 999
Genre: 17th Century AU, M/M, Vampire AU
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-08-30
Updated: 2017-07-28
Packaged: 2018-02-26 21:23:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 29
Words: 106,145
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2666819
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cinerari/pseuds/Cinerari
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Priest Ezra causes trouble for vampire Harlock. Vampire Harlock causes trouble for church boy Yama. Church boy Yama causes trouble for everyone.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Ab Aeterno

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can just feel people cringing at the words "vampire AU", and I don't blame them. I feel like it's sort of a faux pas at this point. But, gosh, if there's one thing that makes for great easy, lazy writing after a long day of classes, it's this trash. Anyway, more important notes. This first chapter was written to be a one-shot as a gift to my girlfriend, but it was expanded upon. This chapter only contains characters from the movie, but the ones following throw in a bunch of other Leijiverse characters. Since this is an AU, you wouldn't need to have seen every show or even know the characters technically, but it'll be a little easier for you if you at least Google them. Some of these characters are obscure even by Leijiverse standards, so I wouldn't blame you. One last thing, I did not do much research on the time period for the first chapter because of that whole one-shot thing. If anything is way off, please excuse me.

Next time that young head priest took a walk by himself late at night, he would not have the chance to sneak up on me. Next time he would face me head-on, and I would be the last thing he saw.

For now all I could do was vengefully bleed on the church carpet. I'd left the stake through my shoulder, the spike visible from the corner of my eye. Even with the wound clogged, my blood still seeped out to ruin my clothes and dripped to the floor. It may have shown my trail, but I doubted he would notice it. Presumably, he was still back in the forest surrounding his church. I'd departed faster than his eyes could keep up, and priests had a tendency to think my kind couldn't set foot in a church.

They were quite wrong, of course.

I could smell someone else just down the hall. The gentle drum of their heartbeat pulsed in my ears as though it could have been my own. They would be the one to heal this ugly wound.

The church halls were as dark as a starless night, but I could see just fine. Every corner and ridge of the old stone walls stood out in a soft gray against darker shades. The only light was the dull yellow of a candle spilling from beneath the door of that room down the hall. As I drew closer, I reached back over my shoulder and ripped out the stake with a slight wince. My bones completely unhinged, and without any support, my arm hung down at a slope from my collar. Blood poured in a heated river down my back and chest.

No matter. He would fix that in a moment.

Of course the door squealed on its hinges, loud as a wailing cat. Before I could even glance at the room, its occupant's eyes were on me. He was young, early twenties I assumed. A lean, muscled kid, his hair was an overgrown but neat brunet. His wide eyes reflected gold in the candlelight. As soon as he jumped up from his seat, I almost went for his throat, but he stopped me dead.

"Dear Lord, you need a doctor," he gasped.

Oh dear, he was stupid. I always felt bad about draining the stupid ones.

He rushed forward to examine my shoulder despite the color draining from his face, and I kicked the door closed. It was hard to complain when dinner served itself.

He was a good half-head shorter, and he didn't notice anything amiss until my good hand was on the back of his neck, dragging him in. A small noise of confusion escaped him just before I bit through the smooth skin at the base of his neck. Then I could feel his heartbeat against my fangs, his blood pooling out. He was sweeter than the usual, maybe because he was so young or maybe because I needed it so much. Either way, I appreciated it like a fine dessert wine. The pain from my shoulder faded with each racing pulse of his heart.

Another small sound escaped him, this time a sweet mix of surprise and pleasure. Being bitten wasn't without its perks, and I was quite content to give back to him in some way. The humans I'd asked had told me it started with an all-consuming internal warmth. Next came a sensation spreading out to every inch of the body that they could only tell me was a pleasure better than sex. Eventually, their limbs would begin to cool, starting from the tips of their fingers and toes. That was when I knew to stop. If they cooled off completely, I was left with a corpse reminiscent of a porcelain doll.

My hand slipped down from his neck to trace his chest through his shirt. He was well muscled for a church boy. It was too bad they had that whole chastity nonsense.

Just as my bones realigned, my vision was overcome by flashes of black and white. I opened my eye to find myself on the floor. As I came to understand what had happened, my hand listed up to the side of my head.

He'd hit me. Hm. No one had ever stopped me in the middle. Their strength was usually long gone. Despite the dull ache of my head, I felt a smile itching on my lips. I liked this one.

I glanced up to find him glaring at me as though I'd done something unspeakable. One hand was glued to the bite mark, the other still raised in a fist. "You get out of here, demon," he spat.

It was a true struggle not to smile. He was so naïve. "I'm not a demon," I said as I stood. "One of the priests attacked me without reason, so I was simply making things even."

He'd taken to threatening me with a cross, which was as amusing as always. He held it out like a sword pointed at my chest. His eyes were firm in their belief that it could protect him. "I'm not the one who attacked you, so I don't see how that's fair," he said. "Now you get out of here before I go get my brother."

I wasn't sure why that should to scare me. "What's your name?" I asked.

"Like I'd tell a demon." He continued inching closer to me with the cross as though it would start working from two feet instead of three.

"You're a thick one, aren't you? I'm not a demon. My name is Harlock."

If nothing else, he was brave. "I'm not interested in you," he said. "Leave."

"By the way, you're drooling a bit." I tapped a finger to the corner of my mouth to mirror where his cheek was glistening. He immediately copied the move, scrubbing away the hint that he'd been enjoying himself. His face was a brilliant scarlet, and I could imagine his thoughts were filled with pleas of forgiveness from the Father.

My eye wandered to the parchment he'd been working on when I'd come in. He'd left his quill on it, and a large blot of ink had formed at its tip. But at the top of the page was a name. A name meant hypnosis was a possibility.

"Yama," I smiled. An odd name for a place like this. "You can relax, Yama. I didn't come to bring you harm, and that cross isn't doing anything for you. I'm too old for that." Religious pieces only worked for the first few hundred years. After that I suppose God stopped caring about our blasphemy. We outgrew him, though holy water was still not something I wanted a bath in.

It was clear Yama wasn't sure what to think, wobbling back and forth between his feet. The cross stayed between us, while his eyes glanced around the enclosed room for answers. After a good minute, he opened his mouth. "E-Ezra?" he called.

I blinked. Ezra was the head priest and…his brother? Wonderful. The threat was more viable now that "brother" had a face. I was not healed enough and in no way prepared to face the head priest in such an enclosed space. Bastard child was trying to get me killed.

"What's the matter, Yama?" came the head priest's reply. He sounded the same as he had with me, distant and uninterested as though he had something more important to do. I'd expected more care to touch his voice when it came to his brother.

Yama's eyes flicked to me, and I stared in return. If he was going to rat out my position, then so be it. I didn't approve, but I couldn't blame him for it, nor could I harm him.

It appeared he wanted to say something, his mouth open as though he was still trying to work it out. "What?" his brother snapped from just outside the door. As soon as it swung inward, I lunged for Yama. His heartbeat rose to a trill, like a caught bird struggling against the grasp of a hand. Had he known my true intentions, he could have called my bluff by pulling away. But my fingers dug into his throat just enough to restrict his breathing. I could have torn out his windpipe with a flick of the wrist.

The head priest paused in the doorway as he found me at Yama's back. To the boy's credit, he didn't show his fear. He didn't plead or whimper, and his hands clenched in fists at his sides to subdue his trembling.

"It looks like you weren't dead after all," Ezra said in that dry tone. He looked nothing like Yama. His black hair was chopped short, and his eyes were deep blue. Their sharpness held none of the soft childishness of Yama's. He was taller too, more muscular. I wondered if "brother" was a nickname of some sort. Made sense for a priest.

"I'm a difficult one to kill," I said with a slow smirk. "Now, if you'll step out of the way, I'll be leaving."

The bandolier hanging across his chest still held the stakes he'd used against me, along with a few vials of holy water. He stared at Yama's neck, frowning. It took me a moment to realize it wasn't my hand he was so upset about. "Did you bite him?" he asked through a growl.

"Just a little nip. I can do much worse than a bite." I tightened my fingers long enough to drag a choke of pain from my hostage. I would have to apologize like a proper gentleman later. For that moment, I could only lean down and whisper a gentle assurance into his ear.

Ezra was either insane, or he knew I wasn't going to hurt Yama, because he didn't hesitate to rip a stake from its holder and charge me. How he was planning to stab me though his brother, well, I didn't want to find out. Instead, I shoved Yama one way while dashing the other. Ezra spun on a dime as I whipped around him, but his wild swing at me only cut through my already damaged sleeve.

Then I was out into the hallway, running. I hated running, but I had to finish healing. Then I would return, apologize to Yama for my rude behavior, and tear Ezra's throat out.

* * *

Brother was mad.

I assumed it was because I'd allowed the demon to bite me, but I didn't have time to ask before he'd thrown me in the cellar. The room held no light or warmth. Most of the space was crowded with wine barrels, but even if that had been any different, I wouldn't have been able to see it.

I could only guess it was for my own safety that he'd locked me in the crate. The tight space forced me to crush my legs to my chest. Crosses and nails of silver sealed it outside and inside. Brother doused me in holy water, which was fine until it touched the marks on the side of my neck. The burn had been enough to weaken my knees. Now I could only lay on my side and sleep, though the scuffling of rats woke me what felt like every few minutes. After a few hours, Brother would let me out. I'd already repented my sins. The demon wouldn't touch me again.

But, God, it was so cold. It ate at my skin and sank beneath it. I shivered every few seconds, my arms and legs breaking out in goosebumps in endless waves.

That demon had been warm when he touched me. His eye swam with heated gold. His breath was hot against my skin. Remembering it made me squirm. Devils were unfair, just like I'd heard. Their lies were kind, so sweet you could drown in them. But, God, that bite. I'd been so hot, like the fires of Hell were running through my veins. It should have been painful, but I'd never felt anything so good.

It didn't make sense. The punishment from a demon made me feel so loved. Though he was a lying, scheming cretin, he was so careful. Even when he was harming me, holding me between him and Ezra, the arm around my waist held me with gentleness as though I was a fragile child. Just before he'd pushed me away, his lips had brushed the back of my ear. "It's alright," he'd whispered.

God's form of punishment was the worst Hell I could imagine. I was alone. The darkness was a void that never ended. The cold made me wish for any source of heat. I prayed for forgiveness every time my thoughts wandered to Harlock, but then my mind would fall back to him.

I wanted him there. I wanted his bite again. "Harlock," I whispered into the darkness. I was going to Hell, but I needed that heat.

To get away from the thought, I fell asleep again. Once Ezra let me out of the crate, I knew I would have the sense to repent like a proper man. The prison made me lose myself too much to be considered one.

The first time Ezra had locked me in it I had screamed and cried for hours. I'd clawed at the walls until my fingers were all bleeding and riddled with splinters. I was sure the smears of blood were still there. I had found a fingernail the second time he'd locked me in it.

I'd learned to hide my fear and hysteria. He let me out faster that way. Quiet meant reflection to him. I was thinking on my sins, and I was learning better.

In reality, it wasn't going to work this time, because I couldn't get that demon out of my head. Or, not a demon. A vampire. It was ridiculous to consider, but if Brother's reaction was any indication, Harlock was a true vampire. If it hadn't been sacrilegious, I would have prayed to see him again.

I slept on and off for countless hours. It felt like an eternity, but no time appeared to have passed at all. There was only darkness and silence until the top of the crate flew open with a splintering crash. I didn't care about anything else at that moment. My joints popped and ached sweetly as I jumped up to hug Brother. He never approved of my shows of affection, but I needed it. I was a shaking mess. "I'm so sorry," I said into his shoulder. "It won't happen again."

Then, for the first time since before the accident, I felt him hug me in return. His arms circled my back, and I leaned completely against him. He was warm like a sunbeam through one of the church windows, and it made the darkness seem like nothing again.

"You're right," said a graveled, angered voice that did not belong to my brother. "It won't happen again." His arms tightened at my back. "If I'd known that bastard would do this to you, I wouldn't have left you with him." He leaned his face down into my hair, his breath brushing my scalp. "I'll take you with me."

My mind caught up late. Harlock, I finally understood. The demon had been the one to let me out. I jumped back and tore out of his grasp, but his hand caught my arm, and his eye caught mine.

"Yama," he said. "Look at me." Nothing else was visible. It was all darkness except the single golden circle of his iris. It was beautiful, even as it sank to a deep red. I felt like I was falling into it, just like when he'd bitten me. There was a promise of comfort if I simply let go. And at that point, I saw no reason not to.

My comfort vanished the instant Harlock jumped away from me. Brother appeared in his place, illuminated by the light streaming in from the open cellar door. His face was screwed up in rage, another stake in his hand. It was strange to see that anger directed at someone else. He'd always reserved it for me, while others saw only his mask of calm.

I was the one he hated, because of my mistakes, because of Nami. It shouldn't have made me happy to know that he hated someone besides me, but it was nice not to feel so alone.

"It's time you were put down for good," he spat at the vampire. Harlock stood a few feet away with a mask of calm as though his life wasn't being threatened. "You've lived long enough."

"Perhaps," Harlock said. "But I can't allow you to continue treating your brother the way you do. I don't believe you deserve the right to kill me. You're too low."

Ezra's rage mounted, but as he started forward to attack, I found myself jumping out of the crate. My attack was in no way graceful. I simply grabbed him around the middle and dragged him down with me. We landed on the dirt floor in a heap, my head on his chest, but he was quick to start pushing me off. "Don't hurt him!" I begged with as tight of a hold as I could manage. I owed Harlock for letting me out. He couldn't die.

"What is wrong with you?" Brother screeched. "Destroying everything you touch! You must have been  _born_  a demon."

His words felt like claws digging away at my chest. I loved my brother. He was all I had, and I'd apologized for my mistake until my voice was so raw I couldn't speak anymore. Nami was gone, but we still had each other. I wished he could have accepted that much.

Harlock yelled something. I wasn't paying attention to him. Then a mind-numbing pain smashed through my spine. I felt my eyes go wide, but I couldn't see. There was only the pain in my back. Something was there, jammed into my body like a rod stuck between cogs. My hands tightened into fists at Ezra's back. "Broth…brother," I whimpered.

He pushed me away like I was nothing. I took him in as I lay on my side, his eyes filled with loathing toward me. I felt myself crying, but not from the pain that was spreading like fire through my back.

Before Ezra could stand, Harlock's arms scooped me up. He ran up the stairs and out of the cellar to leave my brother behind. "I can't believe him," Harlock said distantly. "Dear God, I can't believe this."

The pain began fading, like God finally decided to show me mercy. I became a ragdoll in Harlock's arms by the time we made it out into the forest. The moon hung above the trees, full and beautiful. I almost imagined I could reach up and touch it. "Hang on just a bit longer, Yama," Harlock said. "I won't let you die."

Die? Was I dying? It was cold, just like the cellar, but I was tired enough to sleep through the cold. Sleeping would protect me from the horrors of the cellar. Sleep was always safe.

"Yama! Look at me!" Harlock commanded from somewhere far away.

When I opened my eyes, I found that golden ring again, beautiful and shining just like the moon. His lip was bleeding from a deep gash. "Yama." The ring faded red once more. "You just have to swallow a drop. I'll protect you, so there's no reason to worry."

Of course. I would do whatever he wanted, so I would never worry. My eyes felt heavier than they ever had before, but I kept them open for him as he took hold of my chin and kissed me.

This demon had ruined my life, taken me from my home and was now taking a kiss all without asking. But for some reason, I didn't mind. I swallowed like he'd told me to, and then I felt a second heart beating in my chest. Unlike mine, it was strong in its rhythm, alive. It was his heart, beating for me.

"Yama," I heard him breathe. "I always ask first, because I wasn't given a choice, but you have to understand that I couldn't let you die. You can hate me all you want later, but I couldn't let him kill you like that. You're no longer his. You're mine now, and I'll take care of you."

I fell away into sleep, or maybe death. It was hard to say.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you think the whole locked in a crate thing is weird, just remember that part about this being a gift to my girlfriend. She likes when cute boys are locked in crates.


	2. Bella Gerant Alii

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I mostly like to follow the traditional rules for vampires, but I figure everyone has a slightly different take on each mythical creature. Most of my changes just make them more gay, honestly. Or straight. Whatever floats your boat.

Centuries had passed since the last time I'd dealt with a newblood, and I'd forgotten some of the basics in that time. I knew there were specific animal bloods they preferred. I just couldn't recall which ones, so I had a small variety of livestock tied up behind the house. I'd gathered them while he was asleep in one of the windowless rooms.

He was exactly how I'd left him when I returned. Along with his waxy complexion, he didn't move in his sleep. All outward appearance said he was dead, and he would stay that way until he began feeding. In a sense, he had died. He'd died a human death, and when he woke, he would be a newborn vampire. He would act like a newborn too, though some said it was closer to compare them to animals. Newbloods took time to remember themselves as individuals, and in that time their instincts drove them.

Yama awoke while I was reading by candlelight. I didn't truly need the light, but I used it out of habit. That was when he reminded me of another thing about newbloods. He smashed his hands over his eyes, whimpering like a dog. "Oh, I'm sorry," I said before blowing the candle out. "I forgot your eyes were so sensitive. Don't worry. It will ease."

There was little point in talking to him. He didn't understand any of it, but newbloods did take note of their sire's tone. He relaxed as his hands slipped from his face. Then his eyes locked on me, bright with interest. They still held that childish innocence even now. Standing, I walked to his side and traced two fingers down the line of his jaw. He didn't respond, simply continued staring up at me.

I did remember an easy way to fix that. Bringing my hand up to my mouth, I flipped my palm up to bite through the soft patch of skin below my pinky. Yama's eyes widened, and he scrambled to sit up. "Now-now," I smiled as I began lowering my hand. "Behave."

Patience was not a virtue of newbloods. He reached up and yanked my hand down to his mouth, new fangs making their first mark. He drank differently from my last newblood. He didn't rush things. There was no pain. It seemed like he was savoring it, his eyes lidded as he drained me.

He only needed something to give him a little strength, so I pulled away before he could take too much. Newbloods never approved of having a meal taken before they finished, so it usually required a quick scolding to make them let go. But Yama released me with a gentle sigh. Even when I thought he was going to bite me again, he only leaned forward to lick the wound clean of escaping blood. "Good boy," I praised. In a way, I was treating him like a dog, but I knew he appreciated the sound of my voice. Given the way he acted, it was difficult not to imagine him as a sort of pet. I ran my hand through his hair, which awarded me with a contented hum as he leaned into my touch. "You must be starving," I said. "Let's get you a proper meal."

As soon as I turned to leave, he hopped out of bed and trailed after me like a duckling. On one hand, it was cute and smart. Sticking close to his sire meant he was less likely to wander into the sun or be attacked by another vampire. It also meant I couldn't go kill his brother. That was a problem.

While he terrorized the cows I'd stolen, I tried to remember if anyone nearby owed me a favor. Surely one of them did, but I'd lost track after so many years. All I needed to do was find one of my friends willing to watch over a well behaved newblood for a few hours.

As it turned out, that was harder than I'd thought.

"I dunno, Harlock," Tochiro said after hearing me out. "Shouldn't you be the one looking after him?"

Emeraldas held her hand up before I could finish. "I don't babysit."

"Sorry, Captain," Kei said with genuine empathy. "I don't feel comfortable taking care of a newbie."

I was down to my last resort, and though I didn't like owing him any favors, he was a sucker for children. Even if Yama wasn't a child, he had taken to acting like one as a newblood. Just like with my other friends, he hid behind me as we approached the oldest vampire in the city. Age meant power, and any vampires running amok were put on a trial run by him.

I met him in a bar that was only open to us at night. His long legs hung down from a barstool in the smoothest pair of slacks I'd ever seen. He was taller than me, built better too. He was also really, really good in bed on the rare occasions I could get him there.

His russet eyes were sharp and calculating as they flicked to me, but they softened when he noticed Yama peering out from behind my arm. "Been a long time since you had a newblood," he murmured behind the ridge of his glass.

I didn't appreciate the remark, so I stayed quiet until he turned to properly face me. "I need to call in a favor," I said, while Yama began pawing at my hand. I lowered my voice but kept my tone firm. "Not now. You just ate."

"Come on, Harlock," my old friend said with a gentle smile. "You know newbloods are always hungry. What's the little one's name?"

He was already ignoring my request, meaning it would take some coercion to get him back on topic. "Yama," I said. "He was Ezra's younger brother."

His smile vanished, and he stood. "Was," he echoed, though it wasn't a question. He stepped toward me, or rather, toward Yama, but Yama's instincts knew better than to let a powerful vampire close. He shrank back behind me, hands fisted in the back of my shirt. "Ah, he's a shy one. Well, there's no need to be frightened, little one. My name is Warrius Zero. I won't harm you."

Yama refused to budge, refused to even acknowledge the hand Zero offered him, but Zero wasn't put off. He retracted his hand only to tear his palm open with his teeth. Being the glutton that he was, Yama's eye reappeared from around my arm, wide with interest. "Like I said," I cut in, "I need a favor. I need for you to watch over him for me. Should only be for a few hours." Reaching back, I pried his hands from my shirt. It was all the prompting he needed to latch his greedy fangs into Zero's hand instead.

"Should?" Zero frowned. "What are you up to?" He watched Yama feed with adoration clear in his eyes. With his free hand, he ran his fingers through Yama's hair until the newblood was purring for him.

"I need to kill his brother. He's not safe as long as Ezra's alive."

A dark haze covered Zero's expression. It was clear I'd struck a nerve. "None of us are safe as long as that hunter breeding ground is up and running, but we can't just storm in and kill them. Ezra and I have a deal. The fact that you did this to his brother is reason enough for him to stop upholding his end. We're lucky those priests haven't started attacking. If you kill him, what little peace with them we have left will fall apart. We don't need to kill humans unless our lives or the lives of innocents are immediately in harm's way."

It looked like that was a "no" then. "He attacked me without cause, and you're taking his side," I said. "He locked his brother in a crate in a cellar without light or water. Hell, he tried to kill his brother, and you're taking his side." I grabbed Yama's arm and tugged him back. With a small cry of disappointment, he released his catch and returned to my side.

Zero's eyes were heavy with disapproval at the loss of the leech. He had a bad habit of wanting to steal my newbloods. "I'm not saying he's a good person, but killing him means war. You have your prize in return for him attacking you." He nodded to Yama. "If you're worried for your newblood's safety, then protect him, or let me protect him. But if you attempt to attack the priests, you need to understand that I will have to stand between you and them."

My lip was twitching its way toward a snarl. I didn't realize how far he'd sold himself out to those bastards. "Fine," I snapped. "I won't kill him, but I'm not going to stay in this city any longer."

"Traveling with a newblood is asking for trouble," he warned. "And what about your boy? He's not going to stand for being uprooted."

Now my eye was twitching too. Zero had made the city a supposed haven, so it was filled with vampires, including all my friends and most of my family. It would all fall apart eventually, of course. One side would crack under the pressure, and I didn't want to be around when it happened. I didn't want to see another war. I didn't want Zero to see one either, and he was doing everything in his power to prevent it, but it was only a matter of time before it fell apart.

I couldn't allow myself to be the final straw. I had to get out before I snapped, but leaving everyone wasn't an option either. "I'm going to drink," I grumbled. "Watch him for me." Yama gave another squeak as I shoved him straight into Zero's chest.

Zero raised a brow. "You know this is a bar."

"I don't want any drinks from your group. Probably watered down anyway." I felt Yama start after me as I headed for the door, but Zero must have grabbed a hold of him.

Confusion and fear filled Yama's voice as he cried out at my back. "I'll come to pick you up in a few hours," I called over my shoulder. It did nothing to ease his terror. Even when I was in the doorway, I could feel his heartbeat trilling.

Since Zero had a tight grip on one arm, Yama held the other out toward me, grabbing at air. "Ha-!" he begged in his usual babyish sounds. It was only when I exited that I heard anything different, and by then I was already out. The door was closing. I wasn't going to turn back.

"Har…lock!"

* * *

The air in the bar had tensed the moment Harlock arrived, with every patron keeping one ear on our conversation. Even after he left, they waited until I calmed with a sigh before the tension could dissipate. Yama was still frantic, understandably so. Rule one of being a sire was to never leave your newblood.

As Yama's breathing began to pick up, his eyes darted around the room like an animal in a trap. Newbloods hated strangers more than they hated being alone. "Come along," I said as soothingly as I could. Hooking an arm around his shoulders, I started dragging him toward the back meeting rooms.

"Sir," Marina said before I could make it out. "Shouldn't we send someone to tail Harlock?" As my second in command, she was always jumping on the details, a stickler for the rules to the end.

Yama cowered against me, since apparently Marina being five feet away was too close for him. "No," I said, shaking my head. "If Harlock says he's going to do something, he'll do it. He's just going to get a drink. You can send someone to shadow him if you'd like, but it'll be under your order. I don't need him more pissed at me than he already is."

"Alright." Her eyes narrowed in on Yama. "But don't go getting too attached to that newblood."

I couldn't help but flinch. It wasn't my fault they were so cute, adorable like little kids. Yama had buried his face in my side as he trembled. It seemed all it took to get him to like me was a little blood, though usually newbloods were pickier than that. Harlock had found himself a gentle little one. I wondered if that was because of his upbringing in the church.

The back room held about two dozen padded sitting chairs, along with a massive oak table for meetings. I led Yama to one chair and planned to seat myself in the one next to it, but he didn't like the idea. As soon as I sat down, he plopped down at my feet and pawed at my hand. "Oh, I should have sent someone to get you a proper meal," I sighed. Hooking my pinkies in my mouth, I gave a whistle.

"Need somethin'?" The bartender yelled. Yama flinched back from the voice.

"If you could get some blood for the little one, I'd be much obliged."

"Sure thing, boss."

I wasn't fond of them referring to me as "boss." Even if I technically was, I preferred my name. Reaching down, I ruffled Yama's hair. "You can call me Warrius, little one, once your voice comes back anyway. How long have you been a newblood? A few days? A week? You should be mostly back by the end of week two." He nudged his nose up toward my hand, but I pulled it away. "Don't worry. We've got something much better than vamp blood."

It was clear he couldn't understand me from the pout that settled on his face. It only left when the door opened, and he scrambled to hide behind my chair. "Hey, War," Monono greeted with his usual bright smile. "You wanted some blood?" There were two glasses in his hands, thick with the red liquid.

Tetsuro appeared behind him sipping another glass. "Having your blood brought to you? That's awful lazy, Mr. Zero."

To me, the two had always looked similar. Monono's hair was a shade lighter and actually brushed, but they were both brunets with cuts down to their chins. Monono looked around fourteen, and his face was round, soft in a way. Tetsuro appeared seventeen, with a childish but squarer jaw. He was also a few inches taller, though whether he would remain that way was to be seen.

Monono was a half-vampire, born from a human woman. He could age, and he was working on it, but it was a slow process. He had to abstain from blood, though not for too long at any given time since he still needed it to survive. He swore up and down that he'd eventually catch up to his boyfriend, even if he was technically the elder.

"The blood's not for me," I said. "It's for the newblood cowering behind my chair. When did you two get here?"

"Like a minute ago," Tetsuro shrugged.

Monono's attention was solely on trying to see our new addition. He stood on his tip-toes and craned his neck. "I didn't know you got a newblood, War."

"Not mine, unfortunately." I stood and took one of the glasses. This was going to be messy. "He's your father's. Surprised you didn't know about him."

Monono's face screwed up in what I could only place as curiosity. "Always said he'd never get another one… But I haven't really seen him for the past few weeks."

"He's been with me," Tetsuro cut in, resting his chin against Monono's shoulder. "I got us some wine."

"You know you can get that here without any trouble?" Why did everyone forget this was a bar?

Tetsuro shrugged. "Not as fun that way."

Monono had taken interest in Yama crawling out from behind the chair. Holding the cup out, I used it as bait to pull him into view. His pupils shrank to pinpricks, focused only on the heated scent of blood. "Have you had human blood before?" I asked as though he could answer. Harlock usually only drank from humans, but this looked like Yama's first contact.

"He looks like…" Monono trailed off, worrying his lip. "Why did Dad turn him?"

Yama put his hands around the glass and sank his teeth over the rim. Then he stood, dumbfounded until I tipped the glass back for him. "Harlock said he was Ezra's brother, and Ezra tried to kill him. I didn't ask for specifics, so I don't know much more than that. I would assume it's a similar case to last time."

I had to hold the glass so tightly that it might have broken from more force, as Yama attempted to pull it completely down. "You're going to spill it all over yourself," I sighed. In his irritation, he began blowing bubbles in the blood.

"Didn't realize newbloods were so weird," Tetsuro laughed. "Was I like that?"

"Yes," Monono said without missing a beat. "This is just the feral stage. Once you grow out of it, you don't remember it, but your emotions from it can carry over. So if you're mean to him, he'll remember that he doesn't like you."

"He's actually one of the better behaved newbloods I've been around." I eyed Tetsuro with a smile. "You bit me every chance you got, Harlock too. Drove him nuts."

"Not to mention all the times you used me for food," Monono grumbled. "Had to hit you to pry you off a couple times."

While my eyes were off him, Yama managed to get some of the blood up his nose. A violent sneeze echoed in the cup, and though I yanked it away immediately, he managed to cover his entire face with a spray of blood.

Tetsuro snorted, and Monono giggled while Yama reached up and smeared it into an even worse mess. "Newbloods are cute, but they are a handful," I sighed.

"Why are you looking after him anyway?" Tetsuro asked as I pulled out a handkerchief. "I thought it was against some law for sires to leave their newbloods."

"It is unless you leave them in the care of an equally ranked vamp, but it's still not advised." I licked the cloth and rubbed it against Yama's cheek, which he was none too happy about. "It appears Harlock can't handle the pressure of the city's system anymore. You know how he hates being stuck in one place, actually following the rules." It was a challenge not to roll my eyes. "He wants to leave."

Silence gripped like a strangling hold as we waited for Monono's response, but it seemed one wasn't coming. His eyes were heavy, his brows drawn.

"We can go with him if you want," Tetsuro whispered as he took hold of Monono's hand and entwined their fingers.

Monono swallowed before taking a slow breath. "I wanted to stay here. Everyone else is here. If we leave, we'll be on our own again, but if he disappears, I may not be able to find him again."

"Others will follow him," I said. "They always have, and they always will. You won't be alone. He'll take all the misfits with him. Where, I can't imagine. Maybe he'll go back to the sea. If you decide to stay, you'll always have a place here, but if you go, I can promise you won't be the only ones."

Monono nodded slowly. I knew that Harlock had promised they would settle down for a long time, but it had only been a few decades. Yama rubbed at his eyes and yawned, blissfully ignorant to everything. As though to join him in that state, Monono abandoned the conversation. "What did you say his name was?"

I couldn't fault him for that. "It's Yama."

"Yama," he repeated with a gentle smile. "Looks like you're part of our family now. I hope everything goes well for you when you wake up."


	3. Causa Mortis

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I recommend, if you're writing a character for the first time, don't do it in an AU. Yama is such a drama queen in this chapter. Eh, he gets better. Kind of.

My hand hurt. It stung like the time boiling water splashed on me in the kitchens. That had been my fault, but this I didn't remember. I didn't remember falling asleep on a bed stuffed with feathers either. My bed was stuffed with hay.

I opened my eyes to a room that wasn't mine. No windows let in light, but I could see every detail in the fuzzy gray of darkness. Despite the unfamiliarity, I didn't feel as frightened as I thought I should have. I was more concerned with the dizziness overtaking my senses. My world rocked back and forth even as I lay still on the bed. Still, I wasn't afraid. Something about the blankets smelled comforting, safe.

But it was all lies. It had to be. I didn't remember any of it.

My hand burned from the scald as I dragged the blankets back and slipped my feet to the floor. My shoes were gone, along with my clothes. A fresh set sat on the desk across the room, though I wasn't sure if they were supposed to be mine or not. I'd never seen them before.

The floor, made of sanded wood, creaked and swayed under my feet. I crept across each board on my toes to make as little sound as possible. Whoever was around, I didn't want them coming in on me, especially not while I was naked.

The clothes, nicer than my usual wardrobe, fit me well. The shirt was a thin white fabric, while the coat was a thicker green. How I could see the colors in the dark, I wasn't sure. They were little more than different shades of gray, but I could tell as though the room was well lit.

Along with the dizziness rocking the floor, my head felt fuzzy. Time had passed, maybe a few weeks, but I couldn't remember any of it clearly. Blurs of colors, smells and textures came to mind, all vague fragments that offered me nothing.

I wanted to crawl back onto the bed, back to that strange comfort. Surely that was a trap. If I couldn't even identify the room, it couldn't possibly be the safe place part of me thought it was. I needed to get out.

Muttering a prayer under my breath, I rushed to the door and pushed it open. A hallway stretched out in front of me, just as quiet and dark as the room. Not a soul stood visible, but I could hear fragments of conversations from the doors on each side of the hall. None of the voices were familiar, so I breathed another prayer and ran.

The floorboards creaked whether I ran flatfooted or on my toes, so I sprinted without care. At the end of the hall was one set of stairs leading up and one leading down. If the darkness was any sign, I was below ground. I chose to go up and burst through the door at the top.

Outside air rewarded me, thick with saltiness in taste and smell. Stars peppered the sky in a brilliant array, and a moon almost as bright as the sun hung low to the horizon. The floor here was also made of wood, and a few men lounged against it.

I recognized none of them, and not to pre-judge, but they didn't look like the good Christian sort I was used to. Surprise and interest filled their eyes as they turned to notice me. Belatedly, I realized I should have slipped out the door as quietly as possible. Now they were all looking at me. All I could think to do was run.

I dashed to the left in hopes of escape. Instead I found railing in front of an endless expanse of black water. The railing caught me by my gut, and I hung there with my weight against it. The constant rocking wasn't dizziness. It was the waves tilting the ship. I was on a ship for the first time in my life, out on the ocean.

"You okay, Yama?" a squeaky voice called from behind me. "Need something to eat?"

What I needed was an escape. I didn't belong on a ship. I hadn't agreed to board one. These people were all strangers, and Brother was nowhere to be found. But Brother…

I sank to my knees, only held upright by the wooden railing. Brother had stabbed me. It was the first solid memory I could grasp, and everything before it swam into view.

I felt a presence kneel next to me and take careful hold of my injured hand. The saltiness of the air gave way to that calming scent, smoky and warm like burnt paper. I turned like a string was pulling me, and there was that golden ring of light. Just as beautiful and damning as I remembered. I hated it. I wanted to reach out and take it.

"You're awake." The voice matched that calming feeling. Like fresh ash, it was dark and smooth, but a hint of regret touched his tone.

"Well you didn't think he was going to be feral forever, did you?" the squeaky voice returned. It reminded me of crows cawing back and forth in an endless chatter.

"I was hoping to be there when he woke," Harlock said. His eye flicked over my hand, still red and raw from the burn. "He needs some blood."

Despite the overwhelming comfort of being next to him, I knew this whole situation was wrong. Harlock was the cause of all my troubles. Harlock was the reason Brother attacked me. This lying demon was acting like nothing was wrong, when everything was wrong, and he had to pay for it.

I lunged for his eye as though to claw it out of his face. If I took out that other eye, he couldn't cast these spells on me. I would see the truth. But he was faster than me, grabbing my wrist before I could touch him. "Yama?" It was a question mixed with a warning.

I jerked against his grasp, but both my hands were locked in his. "Let me go," I hissed. "Get away from me."

His brow furrowed as his eye examined me with a sharpness that rivaled Brother's gaze. "You were such a well behaved feral. I thought it would carry over."

"Aw, he's just grumpy because he's hungry," the crow squawked. I turned to glare at him, only to find him shorter than I'd expected. He was at eye level with me on my knees, an odd man with thick spectacles. He grinned from ear to ear from beneath a wide-brimmed hat. Something about him was familiar.

"I'm not hungry. Just take me home," I snapped.

"I don't think you want to go anywhere near a church for the next few hundred years," the crow laughed.

"Face the truth, Yama," Harlock said. "You're one of us, so you're better off staying with us."

It disgusted me how calmly he said that, like it was absolute fact. My heart raced, beating against my bones, and an inhuman snarl tore from my throat. "I am not one of you."

My fire fizzled out as Harlock's thumb ground into the back of my scalded hand. "On the way here, you stuck your hand out of your crate, because you didn't like the enclosed space. Remember?"

I hissed against the pain, throbbing through my hand along with every pulse of my heart. I could feel his heartbeat too, through his hand and all the way to his chest. The two were in sync in their endless drumming. It made me wish I could stop mine just for a second to throw the rhythm off.

"Your hand burned in the sun," he continued. "You need some blood so it will heal."

He let me tear my hands away. I cradled them to my chest, though the moment he let his guard down, that eye was mine. I'd never wanted to bring such harm to someone before. Surely it was alright if it was against a demon. God would forgive me for that. I just wasn't sure he would forgive me for the fangs I cautiously explored with my tongue. They could have easily punctured the tissue if I'd let them. "I don't want any blood," I murmured. "I'm going to get off the next time we make port."

"No."

The word felt like a slap to the face. I blinked, waiting for an explanation. He stared back with that lazy lack of expression. "You'll die," he said finally. "You're staying, and you're going to drink."

"No!" I shot back, but my attempt did not carry the same weight.

"Yama, we're going to the galley." The ring of gold faded red, and my body froze against me. The hand he offered me was a joke. I didn't have a choice but to place mine into it. My movements were all automatic, exactly what he wanted. I stood just as he did, but I didn't want to.

This wasn't right. I had to have some free will left. Every man made his own choices. That was what made us men to begin with. So what if he had made me like him physically? I hadn't agreed to this life, and I didn't have to listen to him.

He started away from me, expecting me to follow. The short man spoke up. "You used to be the one always encouraging us to let newbloods starve themselves if they wanted to. You've gone all soft with this one."

Harlock frowned down at him. "Do you really want another one losing it and going on a rampage? Because I like my arms better when they're attached to me."

I could have followed him, but I didn't have to. Instead, I took a step back. There was nowhere to run in the middle of an ocean. But if I couldn't escape him alive, I'd die instead. I glanced him turning back just as I slipped over the railing, the surprise on his face the same as the time I'd hit him.

The water felt like an icy wall. The salt ate away at my hand, but I closed my eyes and waited. Surely it didn't take long to drown.

* * *

It was almost funny the way Harlock just stared at the spot where Yama had been. Sure, it wasn't often someone disobeyed an order from him, but it looked like he was so shocked he was just going to let the kid drown. I would have gone in after him, but swimming wasn't a specialty of mine.

"Kei!" I yelled up the mast.

She leaned against the rail of the crow's nest, blonde hair tousled from the drafts. "I don't see him," she called back. "Is he really not coming back up? What an idiot."

"You want to get him?" I asked.

"Not really." But she threw her legs over the rail. Her fall ended with a chorus of protests from angry floorboards crackling under the strain. After a small sprint across the deck, she dove off the side of the ship.

"I can't believe he broke my hypnosis," Harlock finally said.

"Yeah, that was pretty impressive." I nodded. "Don't even think Tadashi's ever managed it, has he?"

Harlock didn't bother answering. He was too busy staring at the water. The quiet distress on his face didn't leave until Kei broke through the inky surface with a gasp. "I'm not giving him mouth-to-mouth if he's not breathing," she yelled. Yama's arm was draped across her shoulders, his head down. Even if his lungs were full of water, he couldn't die from it. That must have been his plan, but unfortunately for him, we were hardier than that.

"Think he's going to try to stake himself next?" I asked as the men threw a line down to Kei.

Harlock breathed a sigh. "I hope not. I'd hate to see him mess up and bleed everywhere. I think he'll come around after we talk to him. Hypnosis is out for sure."

He carried the kid to the galley, while I tagged along. The galley was one of the few rooms on the ship that was always well lit, oil lanterns lining the walls. It had to be for our cook, the only half-breed of our bunch. His night vision wasn't to the same level as ours, and his work needed to be precise in some cases. Calling him a "cook" was a loose definition when he only sometimes cooked for himself. For the rest of us, he drained blood from whatever we'd caught.

Harlock tossed Yama from over his shoulder down onto a table. It was yet another bad call.

"Do not put bodies on my table!" Tadashi screeched as he emerged from the back brandishing a bloodied knife. Before Harlock could react, the knife came down a hair away from Yama's face. "Bodies go in the back!"

"It's Yama," Harlock attempted.

Tadashi wasn't fazed. "He is a body, and he is on my table. Put him on the floor if you have to." It wasn't until Harlock pulled the kid off the table and set him across a few chairs that Tadashi bothered to think about the situation. "Why's he all wet?" he frowned. "He got water all over my table."

"He took a little swim," I said.

I expected more questions to follow up, but Tadashi shrugged before heading back toward the kitchen. "I'll get you some blood," he called back. "Still can't believe you let him stick his hand in the sun. And now you let him fall in the ocean. You're really having trouble with this one, dad."

It was hard to keep a straight face as Harlock glared at his son's back. Instead of scolding his kid, he set to work bringing Yama back to life. He breathed and pumped the newblood's heart for a few rounds. With a guttural hacking, Yama was up, coughing a gallon of water out of his lungs and onto the floor. "You'd better clean that up," Tadashi yelled from the kitchen.

Yama came to a slow realization. It was almost heartbreaking to watch the crushing disappointment sink into his features. "Don't be too sad," I said. "Being alive is way better than being dead." You would have thought otherwise judging from his expression.

"Now," Harlock began in that gentle tone reserved for children. "We're going to go over the basics for you so you don't have to go through that again. First, drowning won't completely kill you."

"You need fire, a stake, the sun, or holy water for that," I said.

"Not eating will also not kill you unless you absolutely cannot reach blood. If you starve yourself, you'll turn into a blood-crazed monster with no control over yourself. Don't do that."

I wasn't even sure Yama was listening. He stared at the hands in his lap without a word. "And blood is great," Tadashi added as he returned with three glasses full of the stuff. "But you can't eat most foods anymore. It'll make you sick." As the glasses plopped down on the table, Yama's attention snapped to them. The conflict flashing behind his eyes was plain to see. Harlock and I both took a glass to sip and waited for him to give in.

"You've been like us for a few weeks already," Tadashi said. "No point in worrying about drinking blood now. You've already had a ton. Besides, if you don't drink it, it'll go to waste."

Either that was all it took, or Yama lost the battle with his composure. He downed the drink like a shot. The drop that escaped to his cheek was quickly caught by his tongue. The skin of his hand reformed to pristine condition, not a scratch on it. Once he smashed the glass back to the table, he turned to glare at us. "So if I've been with you for weeks, why don't I remember any of it?"

Harlock went over the process of being feral, and Tadashi and I reintroduced ourselves.

"Tochiro Oyama," I said with a grin. He allowed me to shake his hand without complaint. It was actually the closest I'd been to him. He was always hiding behind Harlock as a feral.

"And I'm Tadashi Monono," he greeted. "I like you. You haven't tried to bite me yet."

Yama didn't look happy with any of it, but he was taking it like a champ. Maybe all it took was one attempt at drowning, and he would behave from now on. "So where are we?" he demanded.

I couldn't help but butt in. "On our Arcadia!"

"We're in the Atlantic at the moment," Harlock said. "But yes, you're on our pirate ship Arcadia."

"So not only are we a bunch of demons, we're pirates too?" Yama asked dryly.

"Best bunch of pirates you've ever seen," Tadashi grinned. "Just wait 'til we get to board another ship. It'll be so much fun."

Yama didn't look like he was having fun. "Alright, one more question." His voice was low, his eyes dark. "Why was I naked when I woke up?"

Tadashi looked startled. Harlock's cheeks tinged pink. I just couldn't help but laugh.

"That wasn't my fault," Harlock huffed. "You stripped yourself. I wasn't going to argue with a feral about it."

Yama's eyes narrowed in on him. "Have you been sleeping with me?"

Harlock crossed his arms, grumbling through a sigh. "I had to. I'm your sire. That's how this works. Ferals almost always sleep near their sire, because it makes them feel safe and comfortable. But we didn't do anything, if that's what you're worried about."

Tadashi shuffled toward the back, muttering something about needing to work. Yama was blushing more than I realized a vampire could. "So," he mumbled, eyes locked on the floor. "Is that why you smell so good?"

"Do I?" Harlock smiled. "I'm glad you like it. You can continue sleeping with me if you want." I almost expected Yama to throw his glass at Harlock's face with the glare he was giving his sire. "Otherwise, you'll have to share a room with Tadashi and Tetsuro."

"You said we could have our own room!" Tadashi howled from the back.

"You have the only extra bed!" Harlock yelled back.

"You have a giant bed to yourself! He's your newblood! You deal with him!"

Harlock looked to Yama for help, but Yama was looking at Harlock the same way. "Guess you'll have to sleep on the floor, Harlock," I said. Yama slowly nodded in agreement.

"I'm not going to sleep on the floor in my own room," Harlock said. "This is my ship. He can sleep on the floor if he wants to."

"And who decided this was your ship?" Yama demanded. I was beginning to worry this spat wouldn't end well.

"I'm the captain." Harlock's tone was sharp with a warning. "This is my ship and my crew."

This was news to Yama, who stared in momentary surprise. That was another thing we'd forgotten to mention, but he'd figure it all out eventually. "Do I have to call you Captain?" he asked. It was an oddly naïve question, but Harlock did say this was a church boy.

Harlock calmed just as easily. "If you're a part of this crew, yes. If you're just a passenger, you don't have to. Your choice."

The galley door flew open to reveal Tetsuro with his eyes as wide as dinner plates. "Captain! We've got company!"

Harlock nodded before glancing to Yama. "Choose quickly."


	4. Disiecta Membra

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is actually a little bit gay. Rad.  
> Also, I really don't think writing sea ship battles should be harder than writing spaceship battles, but it is.

The captain practically shoved Yama my way as he stormed past. "Look after him during the fight," he ordered before heading to the deck. Tadashi threw me an apologetic glance as he rushed to follow. Just because I'd been the messenger, I was now stuck babysitting the newblood. How unfair.

"He should be the one looking after you," I sighed. "He's kind of a worthless sire."

Yama stared down at me, dumbfounded. He might as well have been a kicked dog. "Who are you?" he asked at length.

Oh right, that explained it. I hadn't dealt with a newblood before him, but I remembered waking up for the first time surrounded by people who said they knew me, when I knew none of them. "Tetsuro Hoshino," I said. "I'm new to the crew too, so don't feel too bad."

"I'm not really..." He talked like there was something caught in his throat, eyes wandering like the topic of conversation. "How old are you?"

I offered a friendly smile, just like Tadashi gave me when I asked the same question. "A word of advice – don't ask anyone that. Just assume they're older than you." In my experiences, most of us didn't like to think too much about the split between our face and our real age. "Anyway, I'd rather see what's going on up top."

The men called quick orders back and forth above us, the boards creaking under their weight and muffling their words. Yama's eyes rolled up beneath pinched brows. "I don't want to get involved."

What a killjoy. This was the first real fight, and I wasn't going to see any of it at this rate. "Come on," I begged. "We don't have to help out. Let's just watch at least." Dragging him into the boarding party was my real goal. That was the only way I would get some fresh blood. Tadashi did a great job storing it and all, but it tasted lousy compared to taking from something with a heartbeat.

"Alright," he gave in despite the hesitation in his voice. Before he could change his mind, I grabbed him by the wrist to lead him back up top.

"Don't go jumping into the ocean again," I said. "The captain'll kill me if we lost you." And swimming wasn't a favorite hobby of mine.

He didn't bother answering but let me pull him up the stairs to the deck. It was a good thing I had a hold on him, because as soon as the door opened, he almost fell back down the stairs. I didn't blame him. The massive swarm of fire consuming the ship to our port side was enough to force my eyes shut. But that wasn't the worst of it. I could almost taste the thick, strangling stench of burning flesh, even from beneath the smoke.

"Bright, isn't it?" I heard Tadashi say, his tone dark. Forcing my eyes open to slits, I watched him stride up to us, a coil of rope slung over his shoulder. "We were a bit too late to save that one, but we'll get the bastards that did it."

"What do you mean?" Yama asked. I glanced back to find him shielding his nose with his arm. The brown of his irises burned gold like the captain's as they reflected the fire.

"Pirate attack," Tadashi spat. "If you want to call them that. This was a passenger vessel. I can guarantee they just took all the food and valuables and burned down the rest. But we're on their tail now. They won't get far."

That expression returned to Yama's face – stunned confusion. "Are they enemy pirates? I thought you were all friends."

Tadashi shook his head. "The captain has his own set of morals. We use black sails, but ours mean something different than most. We might be pirates, but we don't go around slaughtering the innocent. Those that do-" He flashed one of his dulled fangs in a grin. "-become our dinner."

I reached out and ruffled his hair just to rile him up. "It's funny when you call him captain."

He rolled his eyes before ducking out of reach. "If you're not going to be useful, just make sure to stay out of the way. We'll be coming up on them any minute."

Yama stared in quiet curiosity around the deck while I pulled him into what would hopefully be a safe corner. "Pirates with morals," he muttered. "That's the strangest contradiction I've ever heard. Vampire pirates even."

He could be entertaining if nothing else. "You could say most vampires have as decent of morals as most humans," I said. "At least in a good chunk of Europe, since Mr. Zero and the Captain are two of the oldest around. We call them oldbloods, like the opposite of you. Oldbloods tend to be in charge. Mr. Zero made most of the written rules, and he enforces them in a court system of sorts. The captain enforces his own version of the rules in a much quicker process. Technically illegal for us to kill just for food, you know."

He gave me another confused stare. I might have broken him. Maybe this was too much information all at once. When he finally opened his mouth, it wasn't any one of the responses I was expecting. "How old is Harlock?"

"Hell if I know," I shrugged. "What did I say about asking that?"

Kei dropped from the crow's nest in a sudden crash. "We're on them," she said.

The captain barked orders from up in his usual place at the wheel. "Ready the cannons. Take out their weapons before they can get within range."

"I was told the Arcadia's the best ship on the Atlantic," I said just because Yama didn't seem interested enough to ask. "I can't say for sure. I haven't seen many ships in action, but Tadashi was pretty insistent on it, so I'll take his word for it." It was fast at least, judging by how little time it took to catch up to the enemy. Their black sails were smaller than ours, along with the rest of their ship. It was a sleek little thing - gorgeous with smooth, dark wood and detailed accents. Too bad we had to sink it.

The captain spun the wheel with a harsh snap, sending us all leaning toward the port side. I stumbled into Yama, who was thankfully stable enough to keep us both on our feet. The men in charge of the sails yanked and rearranged the ropes so quickly we slipped into a perfect turn. "Fire!" the captain ordered.

The Arcadia shook with a vengeance as the cannon fire roared underfoot. The poor bastards didn't have time to prepare before we riddled them with holes. So much for that pretty ship. After the second round of cannon fire, they were scrambling to shoot us with muskets from the deck. But in the heavy night, they could only fire blind. This was our territory.

Besides, shot wounds healed with just a little blood.

The boarding group came next, with grappling hooks to swing over or planks to simply walk. Most of our group used flintlocks only to injure. As soon as they were close enough, the enemy was as good as food.

Yama looked nothing short of horrified, which would make my proposition difficult. "You want to go try a fresh meal?" I attempted.

He shook his head. If I didn't hurry, they would all be gone before I could get one. "Come on," I begged, trying to shove him that way. If I could just get him within range of the scent of blood, he would give in easy. "You'll love it."

The captain even strode across the planks to follow his men. There were few of us left on the Arcadia. "Come on!" I howled.

He was saved by the arrival of the other ship's captain. That was all the man could have been with the flowing navy coat and dual pistols ready in his hands. How he'd avoided the rest of our crew on the way up to the deck, I wasn't sure. He stood there, expressionless, and faced down the captain. The numerous bodies littering his deck didn't seem to faze him. But Harlock's expression twitched with a moment's distaste.

They started talking but were too far away for me to pick up on the conversation. "I want to hear this. Come on," I whispered as I tugged on Yama's sleeve. Despite the discomfort in his face, he crept to the ships' edge alongside me. It smelled much better from there, a taste of freshly spilled blood drifting over on the air.

The other captain's hair was like Harlock's, a deep brunet messed by the sea breeze. His face might have been like Harlock's too, but a sharp-edged mask covered his eyes. "Working with humans seems unlike you," Harlock said, one hand resting on his cutlass, the other on his pistol.

The other captain shrugged, a lazy smile easing onto his lips. "They're simple-minded and easy to replace." He was definitely an older vampire, maybe an oldblood. Something about that curl to his words was almost like the way Mr. Zero talked, but there was a dark edge to his tone.

"You know I can't let you leave here alive after what you did," Harlock said. He seemed as expressionless as ever.

"You say that like I'll let you kill me," the oldblood returned just as calmly.

It wasn't until then that I noticed Yama trembling, his fingers crushed into the railing. His focus wasn't on either captain but the bloodied bodies scattered across the deck. I caught the back of his jacket just as he lunged for one of the planks. "No, no-no!" I hissed. "Not right now! Those are already drained anyway."

There was no reasoning with him. He might as well have been feral again as he fought in an attempt at escape. His grip on the rail pulled him forward, while I pulled him back in a mad game of tug-of-war.

I heard a small, sharp laugh undoubtedly from the strange captain. "How cute."

"Pay attention, Gido," Harlock snapped. Clear anger leaked into his voice. The change was too sudden not to notice.

"Ah, so that one's yours, is he?" Gido purred.

"I want- want one. I need it," Yama said in a crazed trance as he clawed at the air in front of the dead.

Gido seemed more interested in Yama than Harlock now. I needed to get Yama away. I wasn't even sure why, but I knew he needed to be out of sight. Gido started to lift his hand, but Harlock charged. I'd never seen such clear anger on his face. A snarl twisted his lips as he slashed the cutlass up across Gido's chest. The swing was a mere breath away from tearing skin. Gido brought up a gun.

"Hey, Tetsuro, what are you doing?" I looked down to find Tadashi leaning out of one of the holes left by the cannons. The boards were splintered around him, but that didn't stop Yama from switching aims. Tadashi had the unfortunate luck to smell delicious. That didn't mean Yama was allowed to bite him.

I heard Harlock's cutlass clash with something, but I was too busy trying to rein in the newblood to watch the fight. "Tadashi!" I yelled. "I'm going to let him go, and you're going to have to move!"

Tadashi looked irritated, which would have been funny if I wasn't so worried about Yama tearing his throat out. "Fine," he called back dryly.

As soon as I let go, I jumped after him. Our clothes brushed the splintered edges of the boards.

His landing was rough, all the wind knocked out of him as he landed on the floorboards. Mine wasn't bad. I landed on him.

Tadashi frowned at me as I attempted to wrestle Yama down. "Sorry, there was this Gido guy, and he was weirding me out," I spluttered. Tadashi's expression changed for a flicker of an instant. Then he dashed upstairs to what I hoped was safety. With a sigh, I released Yama to go find himself a meal. "This is the absolute last time I'm babysitting you," I said to his back.

* * *

Tetsuro returned Yama to me wild-eyed and covered in blood. I had hoped to be there to keep things clean the first time he fed from a human. Instead I had Tadashi heat up some water for me, and I set to work cleaning my newblood off with a wet rag. He calmed down in the process, his eyelids easing as though he might fall asleep any moment.

"How was it?" I asked.

"Fuzzy," he murmured. "I don't remember." Before he could rub at his eyes, I moved to clean his hands of blood as well.

"You were hungry, so it's only natural. All you'd had for a few days was a glass to heal your hand. You'll improve at controlling your impulses." Thankfully we'd already intended to kill all the pirates. I doubted he'd left his prey with a drop of blood left. It was good he couldn't remember.

He sat on the bed, limp and calm for the first time all night. A single candle burned on the bedside table. His eyes wandered to it like a moth, shining a brilliant gold just like the first time I saw him. "What happened to that man?" he asked. "You knew him."

"He escaped." He always did. Slippery bastard.

Yama's brow furrowed, though he seemed to process the information with difficulty. "How? There was nowhere to go."

"He has a talent for holding his breath, I suppose." It was possible he'd learned to not need breath. I'd heard it was possible for oldbloods, though I'd never tried myself. "I need for you to promise me something," I said.

"Hm?"

"If you ever see him again, run. Don't look at him. Don't speak to him. Just run. His hypnotism is the most powerful I've ever seen. If he locks eyes with you, he will have control. Mine is nothing compared to his."

Yama nodded, though his mind seemed far off. His eyes still danced around the candle. "I think he was in pain," he whispered. "I thought it was supposed to feel good."

So that was it. He did remember some of what happened. Because he appeared docile enough, I chanced placing my hand to his cheek. He offered no resistance. "It depends on where you bite," I said. "The closer to the heart, the better it feels. That's why the neck is common. If you bite the hand or wrist, it can hurt, especially if you bite multiple times. Those men weren't worth worrying yourself over. The world is better off without them."

He breathed a sigh but offered me no more than that. Once his skin was clean, I brought him a fresh change of clothes. When he took them, his expression changed just enough to ease my worry. "Go stand somewhere else," he grumbled.

I walked around the bed to stand behind him, only to hear "Don't look," in a firm command. I wasn't sure what he was expecting to hide that I hadn't seen before, but I didn't argue.

"Ugh, it's everywhere," he groaned. I chanced a peek to see him cringing. Bloodstains stood out on his shoulders and likely his chest. His shirt was soaked through, so it was to be expected. "How is there so much?"

My eye fell on the scar, a jagged circle in the center of his back. I hadn't made any promises, so I walked over to trace the shape. He was already wearing pants, so I didn't believe it could be much of a problem.

His spine stiffened, and his muscles all tensed. "What are you doing?" he squeaked.

The raised skin was soft with newness. I followed the circle over and over for reasons I couldn't understand. "You're lucky. I thought even if you did survive the change you wouldn't be able to walk. But it healed for the most part."

"W-why did you…" He turned to face me, his expression firm but not angered. "Why did you change me?"

"It was my fault he did that to you, wouldn't you say?" His expression weakened against a rush of pain. It was that same agony I'd seen on his face when his brother pushed him away. "If you had been conscious enough, I would have offered you a choice, but that stake hit your heart. I had to take it out. I was losing you too quickly to ask. I've made that mistake before." I wanted to touch his face again, but I stayed my hand. "You looked so content with death. I haven't seen that in ages. As selfish as it was, I wanted to show you otherwise. I wanted to make you want to live."

"But how could anyone want to live like this?" His voice was raw with pain and exhaustion. The day's events had worn him down. He didn't have the energy to hate me.

"I asked my sire the same thing," I confessed. It was so long ago, but I could remember the look on his face as clear as day – that pleading helplessness. It was the only time I'd ever seen him wear such weakness visibly. "Give me some time. You've barely seen a portion of what the world has to offer. If you don't want to, you don't have to take part in anymore attacks, but at least stay to see more of the world."

He was so different than my last newblood, but they both wore their emotions on their sleeves. It was all too easy to push my feelings from one to another, as wrong as it was. His exhaustion was the only explanation for why he let me slip my arms around him. I pulled his chest to mine, that soft rhythm of his heart matching perfectly to mine. The sharp scent of blood covered him, but beneath it was a sweeter smell I'd come to associate with him, like a meadow filled with flowers.

I almost jumped when he buried his face in the crook of my neck. I thought he'd fallen asleep while standing. In reality, he wasn't far from it. "You smell good," he murmured. "You bastard."

I breathed a laugh. "You're still such a child."

I started to pull away, but he grumbled half-audibly. "Wait. Your heart."

I wasn't sure what he was getting at. "Yes. It beats the same as yours." Rather than a question, he made a small hum of confusion. "I can't say why," I answered. "It's like that for all sire and newblood pairs. As long as both of them beat, it will stay that way."

He may not have heard my response. I was holding him up almost completely at that point, while he dozed. As I settled him on the bed, he managed one final protest in a slurred whine. "I don't wanna sleep with you."

"Too bad," I said. "This is my room. Go find another if you want." Of course he couldn't move. He was asleep by the time I blew the candle out.


	5. Et in Arcadia Ego

The night was never silent, but the air was peaceful. Cool but not too cold, the breeze lapped waves against the ship. Boards creaked in rhythm as we rocked. Compared to the utter chaos of the night before, I couldn't help but enjoy the calm.

Harlock was somewhere below deck, along with most everyone else. No one worked in any capacity as far as I could see. They lounged about the barrels and ropes without a care. The only two on deck I recognized were Tetsuro and Tadashi, leaning against the mast and each other as they stared at the stars. Tadashi looked half-asleep, but he always did.

I watched the stars too. Hanging against the rail, I could see them reflecting in the black waters. They wobbled and shifted with the movement of the uneven surface. I heard the door to the ship's interior open, but I didn't bother to look. The laziness of the crew infected me, leaving me just as useless as the rest.

"Not going to try jumping in again, are you?" the distinct voice of Tochiro joked as he neared me. I had a feeling I would never live that down.

"No," I sighed.

He hopped up to lean over the railing beside me, that constant smile warming his face. "A perfect night for sailing." He reached out his hand as though to grasp the ocean. "Always nice to come out and enjoy the sea of stars."

"Do you ever miss the blue sea?" I asked, though I'd never seen it myself. And I never would.

He adjusted his glasses with a soft hum. "I've always been a fan of the night."

If Tetsuro hadn't told me otherwise, I would have asked how long it had been since he saw the blue sea. It was hard not to be curious about how old an oldblood was. But Tetsuro hadn't told me I couldn't ask about other people.

"Do you know much about Harlock?" I attempted to sound as casual as possible.

Tochiro snorted. Then I found myself being laughed at again. "Hell, I know everything about Harlock," he said as his chuckles died down. "When you know someone for as long as I have, you learn more than you should."

"Did you two know each other before you were turned?"

He nodded without a hint of discomfort in his face. "We sailed on blue waters when we were brats. He turned first, and I followed suit, but our sires were different. You actually met my sire. Guess you wouldn't remember. It was only for a few minutes. She kicked Harlock out pretty fast." He laughed again. It seemed like an inside joke, because I didn't remember this woman. The lapse in memory was getting to be a pain.

I searched for another question to help me unravel the man called my sire, but nothing particular came to mind. "What should I know about Harlock?" I asked, so stilted it was clear I wasn't sure what I was doing.

"Ah, so that's your game here?" He didn't seem bothered by it. "I should tell you to ask him whatever questions you might have, but that's not exactly fair. Even if he does answer a question about himself, it tends to be wrapped in a riddle or so vague you get nothing from it. So I will say this – it's best not to go digging through the past. Stick to learning who he is now. Besides, if you went looking into that big mess, you'd just give yourself a headache." He smacked his hand between my shoulder blades before dropping from his perch. "Don't worry too much. We're all about having a good time here. None of your church rules apply." My disapproval leaked into my face. "Aw, loosen up," he said. "You've got a long time to learn how to enjoy life, but you might as well start now."

He disappeared back into the belly of the ship just as suddenly as he showed up. So much for getting answers out of him. It wasn't as though I meant to be nosy by asking about Harlock, but if we had to be stuck together, I wanted to understand something about him.

With normal people, asking about their lives and families was like small talk. But when I'd attempted to make conversation with Harlock earlier, he'd shot me down immediately. "That's not important," he'd said. It didn't feel fair when he knew so much about my life and I knew almost nothing about his.

So I turned to my second option. When I looked over, Tetsuro leaned his cheek against Tadashi's shoulder, grumbling. "I don't want to get up."

"If you don't go get something to eat, you'll end up using me as a snack," Tadashi huffed. "Just go get something real quick and come back."

I almost wanted to call him a child, an angry one at that. He had quite the temper, but I had to remember he was older than he looked. Treating him like a child was the quickest way to spike his temper.

"Isn't there still gross vomit water all over the floor?" Tetsuro asked. I took a sudden interest in the floorboards. I'd forgotten all about it.

"You think I didn't force the captain to clean that up already?" Tadashi scoffed. "It was the first thing he did when he woke up. Now quit making excuses and shoo."

Tetsuro slinked away with an over-dramatic sigh to get himself some food, so I grabbed my chance. An apology would work as a good excuse. As I approached, he smiled and rubbed the sleep from his eyes. "Come to ask me about the captain too?"

I couldn't attempt to brush the question off after it made my steps hesitate. He'd overheard my conversation with Tochiro, and it was all too obvious what I was after. Despite that, I plopped down next to him. He spoke before I said a word. "Tochiro is his best friend, has been for longer than I've known him, but I know some things about him."

"He's your dad, right?" I asked.

He nodded. "He was a vampire when it happened. You've probably noticed I'm not a full-blood. I've been told I smell nice."

He did. The scent was sweetly of fresh blood, though only faintly. That may have been the only thing saving both of us from me losing control.

"How does that work anyway? You being half?"

"Only works between a male vampire and a female human as far as I know. But no one realized it could happen until recently. Well, recently to us anyway. Otherwise, I figure he would have been more careful." Sadness weighted his words along with exhaustion. He scooted closer just to lean against my arm. I blamed it on the sleepiness. "His past's a bit of a mess, so he hardly likes to think about it, let alone talk about it. He likes you though. Easy to see that much."

"Guess that makes one of us," I said.

Tadashi breathed a gentle laugh. "I don't blame you, but he's not so bad. He's just inexperienced with newbloods."

"Wasn't Tetsuro his?"

"Hm?" He looked close to falling asleep against me. "Not exactly. Tetsuro's sire was killed, so the captain and I took him in. I did most of the work, really. You'd be able to tell if Tetsuro was his. Your heartbeats would sync."

"I thought you and him were brothers at first. You look so similar, and you seem close."

Amusement crept into his features, and he opened his eyes to look up at me. "You do understand he and I are in a relationship, right?"

"You must be very good friends," I nodded.

He placed his hand over his mouth, eyes shining with amusement. "God," he said from behind the muffling wall of his fingers. "I heard you were naïve, but you're just something else. We are very good friends, but when I say a relationship, I mean… What's the best way to put this without scaring you?" He patted my shoulder, nodding sagely. "We are a couple. We do things like a married pair might."

I stared at him. What he was saying registered in my head as words, lined up in a logical order. But it didn't make sense, so I only stared.

"We did the whole courting thing," he continued. "We're in a serious relationship?" When I still couldn't respond, he sighed. "You know that stuff the church says you're not allowed to do if you're the same sex? We do that."

My face was on fire. "H-how does that work?" I whispered.

He smiled as though I were a child asking something silly. "I was expecting something more like 'you're going to Hell', so you're taking this well, I guess. But to keep you from panicking, I'm not going to answer that question. Just do your best to think about us the same way you would a regular couple. I honestly thought you understood all this because of how you reacted to the captain sleeping with you."

"I just don't like people seeing me naked," I hissed.

Tetsuro reappeared with a glass of blood in his hand. Armed with my new knowledge, I found my face burning at the sight of him. In a silent question, he eyed me curiously as he sipped his drink. Tadashi patted my shoulder again. "If you want to know any more about how things work, go ask your sire."

I took it as an invitation to leave, nodding distantly as I stood. "Thank you," I murmured. He hadn't given me the answers I'd been looking for either. Instead I'd wound up with some I wasn't sure I wanted.

Most of the ship's layout was a mystery to me. Down the first flight of steps were the cabins, I assumed. I hadn't spent much time down the second, and everything below that was a complete mystery. The room I stayed in was easy to remember, situated at the end of the top hall. It felt like a safe place to return. If Harlock was there, I would try questioning him again. If he wasn't, it couldn't hurt to look through his things.

The door creaked as usual despite my attempt to slip in silently. No candlelight warmed the room, and he was nowhere to be seen. The desk became my first target.

Each heavy drawer provided disappointment after disappointment. They were sparsely filled with ink or parchment. My most interesting find was the two wine bottles in a drawer. His chest held nothing but clothes, some of them reserved for the rich. Next, I tried the mattress to no results.

"Really?" I grumbled. "Nothing?" Even my room back at the church held some personal belongings – books and a few pressed flower samples. Harlock's room was bone dry. There were still all those other rooms I hadn't seen. I would need to look into them later.

With another sigh, I kicked at a warped floorboard, the edge poking up from the rest. My heart nearly beat out of my chest as it flipped up. Dear God, I'd broken it.

I dropped to my knees to press it back into place, but the edge remained tilted rebelliously upward. It lifted as though it was on some sort of hinge instead of nailed to the floor on the opposite end as it appeared. The realization registered after I moved it up and down a few times.

Luck was on my side. I threw my hand down into the hidden space with reckless enthusiasm. There happened to be another two bottles of wine. I didn't think we could even drink wine, so I wasn't sure why, but alongside them was a leather-bound book.

Immediately, I began to flip through it. I'd hoped for a diary filled with dates, or anything filled with dates at all. Instead I found a charcoal sketchbook. The pieces were all portraits, startling in their realism. Most of the subjects were Harlock, though usually with two eyes and without his scar. But considering the order of the portraits, I could only guess he liked to draw himself that way. Tochiro popped up once, and a few different women, one with the same scar as Harlock. There was also a boy, distinctly Japanese and frowning. He was toward the back of the book and the one Harlock reached over to point at when I suddenly found him at my back.

"That one's a favorite of mine," he said. His tone was indistinct, no anger or amusement, but my breathing picked up. Only a demon could have opened that door and walked across the squeaking floorboards without a single sound. I didn't care what he said. He was a demon.

I forged a laugh as I turned to find his face just as plain as his voice. "They're nice," I stuttered. "Didn't know you could draw."

"I can't," he said as he pulled the book from my hands. "This belonged to a friend."

"Sure liked to draw you."

A smile twitched at his lips. "I'm only in it twice." He replaced the book along with the board. "Now don't let Tochiro know where I keep the good wine, or he will take all of it."

I waited for a reprimand, but he offered a hand to me instead. "We'll be arriving in Spain within the next three days. Tochiro suggested you learn how to use a gun before then. You won't be able to carry it out in the open, but I believe you'll be better off with one."

I wanted to take his hand about as much as I wanted to grab a snake. Any moment now he would hit me. His calm mask would fall away, but because of that, it was better to slip my hand into his grasp. He helped me to my feet, where I still had to look up to see his face. "Or you don't have to learn if you don't want to," he said. I realized he'd been waiting for an answer.

Under his gaze, I scratched at the back of my neck. I'd never been allowed to tell this to anyone before, but it didn't matter anymore. "Actually, I know how to use a gun," I mumbled.

Though I wasn't looking at his reaction, I could feel his stare. "Did you hunt?" he asked at length.

"No, I never got to that part. Brother said I still had to work up to that point. But then he stopped talking to me for the most part, so…" I chanced glancing up to find Harlock's eye narrowed in on me. He seemed to be searching me for an answer, though I'd already given him one.

"Come with me," he said as he turned. I followed without question.

* * *

In some ways, it was frightening to see how natural Yama was with a gun. He could take one apart for cleaning and put it back together faster than most of the men on the ship, and that was after he told me he was unfamiliar with a flintlock. "Brother liked muskets and pistols better," he said.

The only thing that confused him was the ammo. "Ours were silver," he muttered as he examined the little ball.

"For hunting?" I asked again.

He nodded. Holding the gun across his forearm, he lined up a shot with the target dangling from the mast. Tadashi was kind enough to let us borrow some fruit, which we jammed onto hooks. It didn't work as well as his dinner plates, but at least he wouldn't make me buy more this way.

Yama's shot tore across the edge of a lime, and he grumbled a curse. He wouldn't have the option to miss in a real fight. Reloading took too long even for him.

"What were you planning on hunting?" I pressed as he readied for another shot.

"Small game, I think. Food for the church and the like." He let out a slow breath before taking another shot. This time his aim was true. Kei lightly applauded from the crow's nest as the lime splattered.

It wasn't necessary for me to continue with my questions. I knew the answers already. "Did you train with any other weapons?"

"Knives, traps, basic things." He waved the question away with continued ignorance. His focus was set on taking out the targets.

"But you never went hunting?"

"Brother said I'd get to at 18." The idea seemed to finally strike him as odd. He paused, frowning at the gun.

"Are you sure he said you'd be hunting for food?"

He turned to face me, eyes firm. He didn't ask anything. He simply waited for me.

"I was told that church was a hunter breeding ground," I said. "But I didn't realize it truly was. I imagine your brother aimed to protect you from the supernatural until you were old enough." Perhaps that was the reason Ezra acted so cruelly toward Yama, because of my interference. But that didn't add up.

"I was old enough, but I failed the test," Yama whispered as though he'd slipped into a memory. He took aim at a pear, eyes glazed. "I thought a bullet wouldn't kill us."

"It won't, but a silver bullet will kill a werewolf."

His shot flew so wildly that he hit the apple instead. "That is not funny!" he snapped.

I decided it was best to leave things at that. He'd dealt with enough information for one day. "So would you like to take that gun with you, or would you prefer another?"

He placed his hands on his hips, halfheartedly glaring at me. "What will we be doing that I'll need a gun for?"

" _We_  won't be doing anything. I have a meeting with an acquaintance who will give us a fresh batch of supplies and a few upgrades. You should stick with any of the other crew and stay out of trouble. The gun is in case you don't."

I might as well have slapped him for the sheer offense on his face. "You say that like I'm just going to wander off and do something stupid. Every time you stick me with someone, they just complain to me that you're a terrible sire."

I held back a cringe. "Yama," I breathed through a sigh. "Do you know Spanish?"

"No," he huffed.

"Then it would be my suggestion that, if you plan on going into town, you go with someone who knows Spanish. Like Kei for instance."

I gestured up to her as she yelled down. "Yama, eres un idiota!"

Yama appeared to understand her meaning. "Is there anyone else who speaks Spanish?"

"Tochiro, Tadashi, most of the older boys," I shrugged. "I'll give you some money, so go buy yourself some nice clothes. And don't bite anyone." If we ran afoul the port's oldblood because Yama lost control, things would turn ugly quickly. "If something does go wrong, you have one shot in that gun, and then you have your legs. Above all else, Yama," I locked his shoulder in my grip and demanded the attention of his eyes. "You must get back to the ship before sunrise."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "What could possibly go wrong?" I mutter to myself, because everything will go wrong. That's a basic summary of my writing style.


	6. Fiat Voluntas Dei

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun fact about this chapter, I wrote the whole thing a few days ago, totaling to about 3500 words. I hated it, so I took it down two hours after posting it on my writing blog. This version is very different from the original, reworked structurally with only a few (heavily edited) paragraphs reused from the original. So, yeah, this chapter was a butt. Spot the blatant character cameos for fun.

The port city showed no form of structure or reason. Even before we docked, the maze-like layout of the streets was visible from the outside. As far as I could see back, the buildings appeared placed and stacked at random, like a toddler built it from blocks.

Another odd sight came in the form of a boy on the edge of one of the lower docks. He held his arm underwater, while an army of cats waited behind him. As I watched, he sat perfectly still, eyes closed. When he tore his arm from the inky black surface, a fish struggled against the grasp of his hand. The cats pounced on it as soon as the boy let go, a grin showing off sharpened teeth.

While everyone around me rushed around to tie the ship to the dock, I leaned against the railing and watched the boy try to lure in another fish. “You look like you’re being tortured,” Kei quipped as she strode up behind me. The skull and crossbones flag lay draped across her arm, folded and ready to be tucked away.

“I’m fine,” I said. But this wasn’t where I wanted to be. Back home the layout made no sense, but I still knew it. Here, I felt as though I might lose my way in the city and never make it out.

No one bothered to lower a plank as a bridge to the dock. They all just hopped over the side of the railing. As they spilled out toward the city, a towering man with a gray beard strode up through the crowd. Harlock stepped onto the railing before jumping. The planks of the dock gave threatening squeaks under his weight.

“That’s the city’s oldblood,” Kei said as the man talked to Harlock. The conversation appeared diplomatic, both men standing with their arms crossed and their gazes even. I had to guess what the topic of conversation might be, unable to understand a word of their Spanish.

“What’s his job?” I asked.

“Making sure all the other vampires in the city stay in line, and since we’re here, that includes us. He probably has a scout scan the waters at night. No one would manage to sneak into this city without him letting them.”

A splash signaled the boy on the other dock catching another fish. Few other sounds joined him – dogs baying and the rustle of gentle waves beneath us. For a city, it seemed to have fallen asleep with the night.

The oldblood called to the boy on the dock as Harlock called my name. “I know you and Kei enjoy each other’s company so much.” Despite the sarcasm, his tone remained even. “But I think you’ll be better off with a guide that knows the town. Kei, you can go do whatever it is you do when we dock.”

She perked up beside me, eyes bright with a smile. “Sounds good, Captain.” After a haphazard salute, she smashed the dock underfoot and headed out.

The boy took her place, heading down the dock with a dozen cats trailing at his heels and one in his arms. He looked around seventeen but barely tall enough to stand in line with Harlock’s chest. The warm brown of his skin matched the stripes of the tabby in his arms, and the rest of the cat’s orange coloring matched his ginger hair, which flared out in every direction. Every one of his features looked sharp, especially his ears, so pointed he could have passed for a real demon.

“Yama,” Harlock began again to grab my attention. “This is Meowdar. He’ll be your translator and guide.” I had a feeling Meowdar was also taking the role of my babysitter, but Harlock didn’t feel like mentioning that.

Meowdar's eyes caught me off guard when they turned to face me, blindingly blue like cornflowers. He offered a nod in greeting, and I returned it.

“Yama,” Harlock said again. “Come on.” He tilted his head opposite the ship, wanting me off like everyone else.

I vaulted the rail like Kei, though my feet stuttered a few steps across the boards from impact. Harlock thrust a palm-sized bag against my chest. “This will be enough to buy you a few outfits and some extra if there’s anything you want. Don’t let anyone steal it.” The weight of coins settled in my hand, presumably Spanish currency.

“I will handle any pickpockets,” Meowdar said as I tied the bag to my belt. His voice curled with an accent, rolling over words like the smooth but uneven surface of the ocean. The cat in his arms crawled up to his shoulders while he turned to shoo the rest away. They darted off into the city, vanishing in alleys. Meowdar started after them, and after Harlock pushed against my back, I followed.

I waited until we were between the rows of buildings before speaking. “What are they talking about?”

“The oldbloods?” Despite the sharpness of Meowdar’s thin pupils, his gaze felt soft when he turned my way. “Your captain needs supplies, and we are providing them. Your captain also assured that you all know not to kill any humans here for blood.”

For a moment, I thought of them as valiant for having such a rule. But not killing an innocent person wasn’t commendable. It was common sense. Vampires deserved no praises for being reasonable. At least, I would give them none.

Even from inside the city, it felt empty. Only a handful of taverns offered the light of oil lamps to the darkened maze. We passed a few drunks, whose blood reeked of alcohol. I asked Meowdar if we could get drunk from drinking their blood. I meant it as a joke, and he did chuckle. “It is possible,” he said. “Did you want to try?”

My laugh bounced with my nerves. “No, I’m near sick off blood at the moment. Our cook made sure I drank until I couldn’t down another glass.”

A bell tolled twice, but that was enough for the sound to rattle through the glass and vibrate the stone beneath our feet. I looked up, toward the tower that seemed to stand guard over all the smaller buildings. At the tower’s apex sat a cross, pointing toward the stars. The bell eased back to a stop as I watched.

“Do hunters live there?” I asked.

“The church?” Meowdar frowned. “I’m not sure. I don’t go there. The hunters don’t like to make themselves known unless a human is drained. Then they kill a few of us until they decide justice has been done. We always return to a sort of peace in the end.”

“Is that how things are in most cities?” I couldn’t imagine Ezra killing anyone, even a vampire. I knew he had, but belief still escaped me.

Meowdar hummed in thought. “It is possible. I don’t know of other cities. I have only lived in this one as a vampire.”

He stopped us in front of a tailor shop, squashed between other stores. Each one looked as closed as the next. Before I could inform Meowdar of this, he tapped out a rhythm against the tailor’s door, almost like a song in its quick beat. The door ripped inward before he finished.

The woman standing there looked like a ghost. Every inch of her was thin like blades of grass, her skin a sickly pale and eyes misted over by fog. She stared out over our heads, while another woman whose nose took up most of her face peered around the ghost’s shoulder.

Meowdar exchanged a few words with them in Spanish. The ghost’s voice fit her, soft like the rustle of grass in the wind. The other bubbled with unease until the ghost reached over to stroke her cheek. I looked to the floor until Meowdar returned to English. “How much are you looking to spend?” he asked me.

I felt no need to buy anything other than clothes, but when I opened the bag, I could only guess how much the golden coins could afford. Stuffing a handful in my breast pocket, I held out the rest toward the women. The ghost reached out, her eyes still focused on nothing, but her fingertips found the bag and closed around it. “I don’t know how much this is,” I confessed.

A squeak escaped the flighty tailor when the ghost pulled a coin from the bag. “Those are four-piece Escudos,” Meowdar said. “If you give them that many, it can afford you some very nice fabric. I would say you could buy a full wardrobe, but I do not believe they can make so many outfits in just two days.”

“I don’t have anything else to do with it,” I said with a shrug. “Nice fabric is fine with me.”

With a slight bow, the ghost strode back into the shop, her shadow continuing to hide behind her. Entering the shop overwhelmed me with the scent of flowers - sweet hues with a hint of earthy soil. They dotted the walls and floors in pinks and blues. I traced the veins of petals with my eyes until Meowdar pulled me in front of a mirror. “They need to take your measurements,” he said.

“I had flowers like these back home,” I murmured. “I was in charge of growing them.”

If the ghost was as blind as her eyes appeared, she showed no bother from it as she set to measuring my shoulders. Her shadow’s hand shook as she held the tape up to my leg.

Meowdar nodded to the shadow. “Hanako grows these flowers. You can find them in any vampire shop around town. It’s a symbol of a sort.”

I offered Hanako a smile. “They’re very pretty, miss.” I couldn’t be sure if she knew what I said, but her cheeks burned pink, and she kept at her work with a vengeance. The ghost laughed, just as airy as a ghost should.

After they measured more than seemed necessary, Meowdar helped us work out a sluggish conversation. Vague outlines of the outfits formed - light clothes for seafaring work, a proper suit in case I needed one, gloves, a new coat, and a couple other things I managed to forget in the shuffle of translations. By the end, I felt sure I had my money’s worth.

The tailors bid us farewell with words I couldn’t understand, and we were back on the street in time for the church bell to strike four. Meowdar’s cat draped around his neck like a scarf and purred like the distant rumble of thunder. “Is there anywhere else you want to go?” he asked as he twirled the cat’s tail around his finger.

I opened my mouth, once, twice, and again before I managed to speak. “Can I visit the church?”

Blue eyes widened in the first moment of genuine shock I’d seen from him. “You’re a newblood, aren’t you?” he asked.

I scratched the side of my neck as my gaze wandered to the overhanging bell tower. “I was raised in a church. I’ve never been away from one for this long. I just want to go walk in,” I begged. “I won’t cause any trouble.”

Meowdar’s brows pinched, sympathy bleeding from his eyes. “So you haven’t been near a church since you turned.” A sigh slipped from his lips as he too turned to see the bell tower. “Do you want the truth now, or do you want to go there and see it yourself?”

From the weight of his words, dread clawed at my gut. I had to swallow before I could speak. “Just let me see it.”

He hummed his disapproval but turned and started down the street. “This way,” he said. No note of emotion touched his voice.

The streets widened as we neared it. Less grime slicked the ground and building walls. When the tower stood around one last corner, Meowdar stopped. “You go as far as you like,” he said. “I’ll wait here, but tell me if you need anything.”

As I circled around him and the corner, I could only think of his decision as a loss. The church stood proud, carved out of stone in the sort of detailing my home could never hope to match. A graveyard filled one half of its square, statues watching over it as they had our graveyard. I’d spent endless hours in ours, laying down flowers for all the otherwise forgotten stones.

In size alone, the church stood stories and spires above mine, the bell so large I couldn’t imagine one man ringing it alone. A few candles shone in blurred halos behind the stained glass. No plan for a conversation formed in case I ran into someone inside, but I desperately wanted to see every detail of its walls. This church was nothing like mine, but I still imagined it would be like home once it contained me.

Each step brought me closer to that absurd dream, and each step brought me closer to the crosses affixed the doors. Something about the sight of them made my eyes burn. I blamed it on the candles, though looking at them was a relief from the scalding of the crosses. As the distance to the door lessened, my knees weakened. My steps slowed, while my heart trilled in its terrified rhythm. I couldn’t look directly at the door, my hand up to cover my eyes. The dread in my stomach spread out through my body like poison, until I fell to one knee. My trembling limbs refused to hold me up, refused to place me any closer to those horrible things. Sweat broke out across my skin from a stinging heat.

“No,” I begged to God or whoever would listen. My voice, barely a whisper, cracked from the strain against my body.

“Yama.” Meowdar’s call echoed across the square. “Should I come get you?”

I looked back to see a blur of his form, heated tears stinging my eyes. I twitched my head in some semblance of a nod, and he appeared in a blink. His whole body stiffened as he fought against the same pain, but he had enough in him to grab me by the arm and pull me away. While my legs refused to hold me up, he dragged me back around the corner. I collapsed against the wall and slid down its surface until all I could feel was the coolness of stone.

“Why?” I whispered.

Meowdar pulled the cat from around his neck to place on mine. Its purring eased my breathing and allowed my ears something other than the sound of my blood rushing through my head.

“It’s impossible to say,” he sighed. “The church says it is because we are demons. I’ve also heard it’s because we were forsaken by God, whether this was our choice or not. I don’t understand why a loving God would do such a thing, but it’s not for me to say.”

“But Harlock!” I gasped. “Harlock walked around my church just fine!”

“Your captain is an oldblood. Either God forgives the oldbloods, or they are forgotten in time.” He pet my hair like he would his cat. “We should go back to your ship. The Sun is rising.”

I whispered, my chest aching. “But I want to see the Sun.” I wanted to watch the flower garden sway with the wind like a sea of colors, pinks and purples and whites drifting together in time while the Sun burned overhead and heated my back. I wanted to watch rays filter through leaves and turn the color of Nami’s hair. All that was so far away. Now, night lasted an eternity, and I was already tired of it.

“The Sun is not ours to see,” Meowdar said. “But if you don’t want to go back to your ship, I can take you elsewhere for shelter.”

I felt no desire to ask where. I just felt tired, weak, and so sick of the night sky. “Anywhere is better than here,” I said.

Once I regained my feet, we wandered through the maze again. This time, one by one Meowdar’s cats returned to swarm around us. Every color and size joined their ranks. Some limped, and others missed an ear or eye. Meowdar plucked one from the crowd to place on his shoulder as the fringes of the sky turned purple. “If your captain is upset because of this, tell him it was not my idea before he kills me,” he quipped.

I nodded, though his back faced me. At the rear of the herd, a kitten struggled to keep up, so I scooped him up in my hand and held him to my chest. “Cats like you,” I said to Meowdar’s back.

He barked a laugh. “Well, I do feed them.”

He stopped in front of a charred building. Only the outside walls appeared to have survived a fire. In place of a door, a black husk of wood jammed the front closed. Despite its appearance, it didn’t turn to ash when Meowdar pushed it open. The cats flooded in, followed by the two of us. “You take the bed,” Meowdar said, sharp enough to suggest he would hear no arguments.

The “bed” was a pile of straw in the corner with a few blankets on top. Meowdar curled up in the opposite corner, while his cats turned to circles of fur around and on top of him. The one hanging from my neck jumped down to join them, but the kitten stayed with me even as I settled into the prodding straw. It found a spot against my neck, curled in a purring ball.

If Harlock felt like being mad, I didn’t care. The ugly straw bed felt more like home than the plush feather bed ever did, and I didn’t want him anywhere near me.


	7. Graviora Manent

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't really have anything to say about this chapter, but no one is reading this other than my pals, so I'm not all that concerned. Gonna go ahead and put a violence warning on here just in case.

A heart beat in my chest, but it wasn't mine. It felt behind mine, closer to my spine. Its pulse pounded like hooves against dirt, rattling my own heart. No pain came from it, but the irregularity left me trembling in bed, unable to find sleep. Even my hand shook as I clutched at my chest.

"Meowdar," I hissed. For every two beats of the other pulse, mine answered with one, but the two were so far from syncing I knew I could only be going mad.

He hummed his question with the sluggish pull of sleep. Neither he nor his cats moved from where they lay curled in the corner. I felt just as exhausted, my eyes stinging whether closed or open. My forehead ached from a building pressure, but with that heart rattling the rest of my body, I couldn't hope to sleep again until I collapsed from it all.

"Is it normal to have two heartbeats?" I asked through a hoarse wheeze.

He answered in Spanish as he rubbed his eyes. The cats lying on top of him rolled off as he pushed himself up to sit on his hip. One eyelid blinked before the other, like a wave rolling over them. When he looked at me, he appeared to be waiting for an answer.

"What?" I asked instead.

"Oh." His eyes blinked evenly. "It's your sire's heartbeat. You know how they are supposed to sync? If his heartbeat is off from its usual speed, that is what you are feeling."

"How do I make it stop?" I hoped for an answer other than killing Harlock. That wasn't an option right now.

"You cannot," he said through a yawn. "Unless he's dead or the two of you are a good distance apart, it stays. But he will calm, and it will go away." Standing, he walked to the hay bed with a dozen roused cats trailing at his heels. He didn't ask if I wanted him to squish beside me. His arms wrapped around one of mine, and his forehead pressed to my shoulder like a clinging child. He didn't ask, but I wouldn't have said no. All those cats hopped up to curl anywhere there was room. It covered me in soft spots of warmth and weight, while the second heart eased into a quieter echo of mine.

I woke up again, unsure if I'd slept for more than a few minutes. At least my chest was my own again. My head had rolled to the side to rest against Meowdar's, but he sat back up on his hip, blue eyes narrowed in on the door. A rhythmic knock like the one he'd used last night at the tailor's came from the other side.

"Do they think I'm stupid?" Meowdar huffed. "None of us could be out right now. The sun is blazing."

But an answer came from the other side in the form of a whine. "Yama, you're in there, right? Let me in. I'm too tired for this."

"It's Tadashi," I said, blinking.

Meowdar's brows shot up. "You have a human on your ship?"

"No, he's half-vampire. He can be out in the sun."

"Yama," he whined again from outside. "I know my nose isn't that good, but I swear I can smell you."

I wasn't sure how to feel about that and wondered how I smelled, but Meowdar's surprise came from a different source. "Half-vampire?" he muttered instead as he rolled from the bed. "Alright, I'll let you in, but make it quick. Don't let the sun in."

"I'll be sure to use my magic powers to control the sun," Tadashi snapped.

Meowdar flashed a fang with a smile before telling me to hide under the blanket for a moment. Even then, I felt the raw, stinging heat of the sun as the door cracked open. It lasted for only a moment, like leaning too close to a fire. Then I peeked out to find Tadashi pulling down the hood of a thick, black cloak. He looked like a corpse with the dark smears under his eyes.

"Oh thank God," he said once he saw me. "You have a bed." Without another word, he walked over and collapsed on the hay beside me. I rolled over to make room until my back hit the wall.

"What are you doing here?" I asked as the irritated cats readjusted themselves. The kitten at my neck only gave a small yawn.

Sighing, Tadashi allowed me to help him nestle under the blanket. "The Captain freaked out when you didn't show up, so he wanted me to look for you. Too tired." He tossed a wary glance toward Meowdar as the other boy settled himself back on the bed. It amazed me we could all fit, but Tadashi was small and didn't complain about being sandwiched between us.

"You smell nice," Meowdar said, leaning into the back of Tadashi's neck. "Never smelled a half-vampire."

"You smell like cats," Tadashi said with the slur of someone on their way to sleep.

"What do I smell like?" I asked.

"The captain. Go to sleep."

My nose wrinkled at the thought. I didn't think I smelled like Harlock. I thought I smelled like me. But I decided to listen to his grumbled command and try for an uninterrupted rest. Even with the three of us squished together in such a small bed, it wasn't as uncomfortable as trying to keep away from Harlock in his bed.

Tadashi roused me as the sun set, though with him rubbing his eyes he looked less rested than I felt. "We should get back to the ship," he said. "Captain will probably meet us on the way. He'll run out to find you as soon as he can, even though I told him there was nothing to worry about."

"Is it safe for me to escort you?" Meowdar asked. "I need to catch some fish." The cats took turns weaving back and forth against his legs and trying to climb his pants. Meows from the hungry beasts sprinkled through the room like raindrops.

"I'll make sure the captain doesn't do anything," Tadashi huffed. His hands rested on his hips like someone who was really in charge of the ship. It reminded me of something Tetsuro mentioned once.

"Why do you call him captain to everyone else?" I asked. "You call him 'Dad' to his face."

Something tugged at the corner of his mouth, not quite a smile or a frown. "He likes when I call him dad, so I try to remember, but he's not Dad to anyone else, so it doesn't matter." Bitterness stung the tips of his words, and he warded off any further questions by shaking his head. "I'll check on the sun."

Meowdar watched Tadashi's back until it slipped through the door. "Is he taken?" he asked me. "He smells so nice."

My attempt to laugh the question off was as forceful as a wheeze. "I don't think you should base relationships just on smell, but he and Tetsuro have a thing or something."

"Well," he scratched at the back of his neck, "I do not meet many other vampires who are my size. Rare to even find one who does not appear older than me. Not much fun being the eternal child in a group of adults."

"He's still aging, kind of. I think. Tetsuro looks the same age as you." I wasn't sure how relationships worked between young-looking vampire males. I wasn't sure of much of anything, so I pressed my lips together to keep from continuing the conversation. I'd done enough rambling.

Meowdar seemed to understand. Either that or he was more interested in cats. His eye caught the kitten now clawing at the front of my shirt. "You can keep him if you'd like," he said. "He seems to like you."

"I don't know if Harlock would let me keep a kitten." The fluffy tabby nabbed my hand to chew on when I tried to pet him. I hadn't thought of keeping him before, but I liked the idea of having something to call mine aboard that ship.

"Perhaps your captain can be persuaded," Meowdar said, flashing his fangs with a winning smile. I wasn't sure who would be doing the persuading here. Tadashi would likely have the best luck of the three of us, because he didn't accept the word no.

He poked his head back in to tell us the sun set fully, so we set out for the docks with all the cats in tow and the kitten in my arms. The human residents of the town were still active, if only just to finish up for the day. It did make me feel like I lived in a different world from them.

Signs of them disappeared as we moved to the thin, forgotten streets with broken buildings. "A shortcut," Meowdar said. But I would have preferred the scenic route if it meant seeing more humans living out their carefree lives. They didn't know about us, and it was better that way. I envied them.

Hearing the scuff of a boot against stone in the alley beside me, I turned out of curiosity bred from instinct. I saw a black cloak, flared up around its wearer as he bore down on me. His face was hidden, but the glint of a silver blade caught my eye. I felt his heart beat, just once, just as mine did.

Then a boot caught my stomach. "No!" Tadashi roared as he kicked me out of the way, his eyes on fire at the sight of what I finally understood to be my death. I hit the ground as Tadashi pulled one of his kitchen knives from a sheath at his hip. The attacker stepped back, out of range from Tadashi's swing. "Get back here, you bastard," Tadashi hissed. Instead, the cloaked man leapt to the roof behind him and ran.

"Get him back to the ship," Tadashi ordered Meowdar before also jumping higher than my mind could comprehend. I was still staring at where he'd been on the roof when Meowdar ran over to grab my arm. As he yanked me from the ground, the only thing I could think was that my tailbone hurt.

"What just happened?" I asked as he led me to a run. The kitten held in my free arm mewled its disapproval.

"That vampire wanted to kill you," Meowdar said, fear thinning his calm voice.

"Why?"

"I do not know. It likely had to do with your sire. I should not have led you down this way. I just did not think…"

Maybe I should have been more surprised, but the cause of all my trouble as of late was Harlock. Speak of the devil, Meowdar nearly slammed into him as we rounded the corner. His hair was ruffed by the wind, and his chest heaved with each breath. He'd been running too.

"What happened?" he asked, more demanding than worried. "Where is Tadashi going?"

I hoped Meowdar would answer, but found myself shoved into Harlock's chest. "I'll go find him," Meowdar gasped. With another impossible jump, he left us for the rooftops as well.

Harlock's hands clamped down on my shoulders as he stepped back to examine me. "What is going on?" he asked.

Honestly, I didn't know. "A vampire tried to kill me, I think," I said. "Tadashi went after him."

He cringed at the information, his eye turning to scan the rooftops. I couldn't see anyone. "Tadashi can't take on a vampire himself," Harlock said. His grip tightened against my shoulder. "Meowdar has to get to him."

The cats didn't care for our conversation. They began to yowl once again, rubbing up against his legs and mine. He looked down as though he'd just noticed them. "I don't know what to do with all these cats," he said, his eye narrowed in on the kitten in my arms in suspicion. "But let's get you back to the ship." One hand remained on my shoulder to urge me on toward the docks. Unsure what else to do, I walked beside him willingly.

"What about Tadashi?" I asked. We needed to wait for him to get back. Nothing would happen to him, of course, so the worry twisting through Harlock's expression and my gut was unnecessary.

"I'll send Tetsuro after them," he said. "To be frank, I doubt Tadashi can catch a running vampire. He tends to bite off more than he can chew when it comes to these things."

These things? Like killing other vampires? "Why go after that man to begin with?" I asked.

Harlock glared at the air in front of us, even as the ship loomed ahead. The dark paint almost blended with the night sky. "If he attacked you, he's an enemy of mine," Harlock said. "He will likely attack again. You didn't catch any of his features, did you?"

"To be fair, I'm not sure it was a man." I saw only their jaw, and I wasn't sure how they could see from under that hood. "You don't know who that could have been?"

His eye turned back and forth as though reading through his mind. "There are too many people who want to kill me," he said at length, "so I have no idea."

"Maybe you should quit making enemies of everyone you meet."

"Easier said than done," he muttered as he pushed me along the dock. This time there was a ramp, and he worried the cat herd might follow us up. Luckily, they stayed on the dock, waiting for Meowdar.

I found myself standing on the ship in almost the same way I had the night before. The men stretched themselves awake as they milled around the deck. "Tetsuro," Harlock called to the boy leaning against the mast.

Tetsuro pushed his weight from it and strode toward us. "Where's Tadashi?" he asked as he scratched the kitten's head. I felt Harlock tense beside me.

"He went after someone who tried to attack Yama. Meowdar went to assist him."

Either Tetsuro had no idea who Meowdar was, or he had no faith in the native. His expression darkened like an oncoming storm. "Where are they?" he demanded, his hands clenched in fists.

Harlock opened his mouth to answer, but he left his jaw hanging as the cats once again erupted in a chorus of yowls. They sped back down the dock in such a swarm I worried they might knock Meowdar over.

He hissed something in Spanish as he waded through them. I guessed it had something to do with the unmoving form slumped against his back.

"Tadashi?" Tetsuro's voice trilled in fear. He collided with the ship railing in an effort to see what was wrong. I looked to Harlock for help but found his stare vacant. What fear didn't show in his face hammered against my heart as his pulse joined mine again.

Meowdar panted as he made his way up the ramp. His legs looked like they might give way any moment, bowing under him. For better or worse, a swarm of pirates replaced the swarm of cats. Yowls switched to a chatter of questions.

"Holy water," Meowdar snarled over them. "Be careful if you touch him."

Tadashi's voice followed. It was strained, like all the strength and certainty were stripped away piece by piece. "It's fine," he said. "Doesn't hurt me as bad."

When Meowdar eased Tadashi into Tetsuro's arms, the true extent of the damage showed in a glistening burn. Though I averted my eyes immediately, the image stuck in my head. The damage covered his right side. Either the water or his own skin boiled through his clothes. Fabric fused with melted flesh on his shoulder, and the bone of his jaw shone white in the moonlight.

I kept my eyes on the floor to ease the churning of my stomach. Though my pulse sped up, Harlock's heart beat even harder. My chest seemed to be tearing in two.

"I'm sorry," Harlock whispered. Though I was the only one close enough to hear, I looked up to find his eye toward his son. "I'm so sorry."

My chest ached for him, for the pain in his voice and the beating of his heart. I almost told him it wasn't his fault, but even as I opened my mouth, I bit my lip instead. It was my fault too. If I'd taken the gun instead of leaving it on the ship, maybe I could have shot the guy. Probably not, but I still would have been better off. No point in ignoring orders out of spite.

"I'm not dying," I heard Tadashi sigh. "All of you, quit it. Go do something else. Just need some blood is all."

I reached up to grab Harlock's sleeve. I felt like a child, tugging on it for his attention. "He'll heal," I said.

"He heals slowly," Harlock murmured. "I was supposed to protect both of you. It was the least I could do in return for what I took from you." He reached out, placing his hand to the back of my head. I felt like he wilted against me as he leaned down and rested his forehead in my hair. "I'm sorry," he said again.

I couldn't bring myself to pull back or push him away. I had no words for him, so I kept holding his sleeve and breathed in his scent. There was still something calming about it, surrounding me like the smell of a campfire. His heartbeat eased as he took slow, deep breaths, and I hoped I was at least doing the same for him as he was for me. I had no other way to comfort him.


	8. Haec Olim Meminisse Iuvabit

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I guess for anyone who hasn't watched SSX this won't be a super appealing chapter, but if you haven't watched SSX you are missing out. Hop to it.

Anyone who boarded the ship without my permission promptly found their way off once I showed them the exit. But I couldn’t boot Meowdar off in good conscience. After catching some fish for his cats, it appeared he’d snuck back on and fell asleep at Tadashi’s feet. Tetsuro, meanwhile, paced around the room. He threw me a nervous glance as I slipped through the door but continued back and forth across the floorboards.

“How is he?” I asked. Despite the sweat glistening on his face and tremors rattling his limbs, Tadashi appeared to be sleeping by some miracle. Bandages torn from old clothes wrapped his jaw, shoulder and arm where the holy water hit directly. He healed faster than a human but not by much. It would be a few weeks before the pain stopped.

“He will be alright,” the supposedly sleeping Meowdar said, though his eyes remained closed. “He is resting. You should come rest also, Tetsuro. There is no need to fret.”

With worry flooding his eyes, Tetsuro ignored him and spun on me. “Captain, are you sure we can’t go after that guy? We can take a group. No one will get hurt. We’ll get him.”

Despite his assurances, there was no guarantee everyone would avoid injury. “You’ll never catch him now," I said. "We don’t even know what he looks like. If he comes back, I will take care of him.” I walked to Tadashi’s side and felt for a fever I knew would be there. His face burned with it. He never could escape being frail compared to us.

“What if I want to kill the guy instead?” Tetsuro snapped.

Meowdar shushed him. “Not so loud. Let Tadashi rest.”

“What are you doing here?” I asked the cat boy.

Still, he didn’t move or open his eyes. “I would just like to watch over Tadashi. He’s even smaller than me, and he is grumpy like a cat. Tetsuro is as well.”

“I am not grumpy,” Tetsuro huffed, crossing his arms. 

“As long as you don’t bring any of your cats on board, you can stay until we leave. I’ll need you to take Yama to pick up his clothes anyway.”

Meowdar hummed his agreement.

“Both of you look after Tadashi for me,” I said as I started for the door. “Don’t go running off for any foolish reasons.” I doubted Meowdar was going anywhere, but Tetsuro had a habit of doing exactly what he was told not to do.

“Okay,” he grumbled. “But I’m going to look after him for me too.”

I would have liked to sit with Tadashi for a while, but my son had enough guests clinging to him already. I could only imagine him grumbling at them and shooing them out once he woke. With our supplies loaded and Tochiro fiddling with the cannons, I didn’t have much to do. And when there was nothing to do, alcohol was always an option.

As I pushed the door to my room in, I found Yama seated at my desk, once more looking at the sketchbook I’d kept hidden. The kitten he’d carried around sat in his lap, curled up and purring like distant thunder.

“Yama,” I greeted. He didn’t start or explain away his snooping this time. Perhaps it technically wasn’t snooping because we shared the room, but I’d intended to make it clear I preferred the book where I couldn’t see it.

“There’s no way these aren’t all you,” he said, tilting the book to see a new angle. “How is Tadashi?”

“He’s sleeping.” I walked over and plucked the book from his hands. “Are you borrowing one of Meowdar’s cats?”

“No, this is my cat.” Judging by the sharpness in his eyes, he appeared to be testing me. “I’m going to keep him.”

I breathed a silent sigh as I returned the book to its home under the floor. It looked like he was learning stubbornness from Tadashi. I liked him better as a foolish little church boy. “If someone hasn't fed in a while and bites that cat,” I began.

He didn’t let me finish. “No one will bite him.” Those sharpened eyes of his glared at the floorboard as I flipped it shut.

“What is it?” I asked.

“What’s what?”

“What is bothering you? If you’re worried about Tadashi, he’s recovering. You can go check on him if you’d like. Meowdar is there too.”

Of all the things he could have said, he chose the one I didn’t want to hear. “I want to know something about you.”

My brow pinched against an oncoming headache. “Why, Yama? That’s not-”

“Important?” he finished. “If I share a room with you and have to deal with assassins coming after me because of you, why isn’t it important? Isn’t it human nature to want to know about other people. And don’t tell me we’re not humans.”

I shut my mouth just as I’d begun to open it. Despite his attempt to appear serious, his cat chose to climb his shirt at that moment. It pawed at his face once close enough. Yama struggled to hide his embarrassment, and I wondered how I could ever say no to that face.

“What do you want to know?” I asked as I took a seat on the bed. After all, I had nothing better to do.

“I don’t know,” he said, tossing up his hands. “Anything. Tell me how you became a vampire or the story behind that book. Tell me about why you and Tadashi are so strange with each other or-”

“We’re strange?” I echoed. We were far from a normal family, but I didn’t think strange was necessary.

Judging by his stare, it was necessary, and I was an idiot for believing otherwise. “The way he talks about you is very strange.”

I nodded as I imagined what Tadashi might say behind my back. “Sometimes I think I’ve won him over, but he still holds a bit of a grudge. Granted, he has fair reason to.”

I waited for another question or response, but none came. Yama stared and waited, his cat curled against his neck.

“For you, this happened a long time ago,” I began, “long before you were born.”

* * *

 

The bell tower was a horrible place when the bells went off. The deafening clanging rang in my ears and split my head, so I’d learned to only stay between hours. Without any crosses or church boys to keep me at bay, I had the best view of the city up in that tower. No rouge vampires could escape my eye.

Perhaps they’d learned better by now, as those who did feed only took what they needed before letting go. No humans died as far as I could see. After a dozen vampires died in this city for committing such an act, the rest knew to behave. 

There was one out of place, a boy who appeared no more than seven. The way he stalked up the side of a building could only be managed by one of my kind. Poor thing. Turned children always lost their minds sooner or later. Having an adult trapped in a child’s body twisted them somehow.

This one appeared to still be young at heart. He stalked across a rooftop on all fours toward a sleeping bird. The moon reflected in a white gleam on his wide eyes. Just as he was within range of the pigeon, he shot out a hand. Somehow, the bird was faster. I’d never seen a sleeping animal with faster reflexes than a vampire, and yet it flew up above even the bell tower to get away.

The child gave a pitiful cry. His arms went weak under him as he collapsed. I waited for him to get up and seek out another bird, but he simply lay there. Even though I knew he wasn’t as young as he looked, it was impossible not to think of him as a helpless child.

Climbing to the outside of the tower, I slipped down the wall to the lower roofs. I traced their edges from building to building until I reached the one he rested on. Once I stood over him, I took in the full extent of the situation.

He was so white in the moon’s rays that he appeared to glow. Dark smears stood out under his eyes like those on a bloodless body. He may as well have been. The poor child must not have fed in ages.

He didn’t attempt to bite me. Whatever energy he had left flew away with that bird. Those round eyes of his couldn’t even focus, squinting at my form. I bit my hand to draw blood before sinking to my knees and holding it out for him. Still, he didn’t move.

“It’s alright, child,” I whispered. “Just take some to get your strength up. It won’t ease your hunger, but it will keep you going long enough to catch something.” My blood dripped on his lips as my hand hovered over them. Never before had I seen a vampire hesitate at the offer of blood when it was so close, but he still gave in to lick it away. He then allowed me to place the side of my hand in his mouth. Immediately, he began to draw from the wound I’d already created, instead of biting me again. His fangs did scrape my skin, but they weren’t sharp enough to scratch through.

Had I not known child vampires before who were greedy little leeches, I would have been tempted to think his age was the cause. Something was truly off about this boy.

He let go when I still could have allowed him to take more and started to crawl toward the edge of the roof. “I can hypnotize a human for you if you’re not up for catching one,” I said. My hypnotism was still shaky, but I could at least put a human into a trance for him.

“Don’t want to take from humans,” he whispered in the small, helpless voice of a child.

I followed, keeping my steps light to avoid disturbing the home’s occupants. “In your state, trying to catch an animal will be too difficult, and if you wait much longer you could go berserk. I’m amazed you haven’t already.”

He dangled his legs over the edge and slipped off. A few stuttered steps echoed through the street before fabric and flesh hit stone. I peered over to find his shaking arms struggling to push him up. It appeared my blood hadn’t quite done the trick.

Before I could offer him more, he retched and coughed up every drop. It oozed from his lips as he caught his breath. I’d never seen such a thing before in my long life. “What’s wrong with you?” I asked as I dropped down to his side.

“Vampire blood makes me sick.” His voice shook just like his limbs.

I scooped him up, cradled him in one arm and wiped the blood from his mouth with my sleeve. It already had my own blood on it, so no matter. I could get another shirt. “I’ve never heard of anything like that,” I said.

Though his head listed and rolled, he forced it upright to keep from leaning against me. “I don’t have anything to give you in return for helping me.” Despite his young voice, he spoke with age and the sharpness of distrust. “So don’t expect anything.”

“I can’t just be a good Samaritan? Maybe I just want to help you because it’s the right thing to do.”

His eyes darted away. He didn’t believe me. And in a way, he was right not to. I was lying. I wanted to help him because he was small, so frail I felt I could snap his bones just by tightening my arm around him. His clothes barely held to him, pants tied on by a rope, shirt collar showing the tight skin and popping bones of his shoulder. He fit the part of a street rat well, but most street rats could go to the church for a meal on occasion. I doubted he was old enough to share the luxury.

I hypnotized a human for him, though he insisted an animal would be better. A polite little thing, he apologized before he bit their hand with fangs barely sharper than a human’s. I told the human to sleep once the child was fed and rested them against the wall of the alley. “They’ll wake up a little worn out but otherwise fine,” I told the child. “You’re so small you couldn’t drain an adult if you wanted to.”

He hummed some sort of answer and started away. I trailed after him. “You could at least say thank you,” I said.

“I told you I wouldn’t give you anything,” he huffed. “You vampires always want something.”

“So you’re a newblood?” I questioned. They were the only ones who spoke as though they were separate from us. “Your sire must not be taking care of you.”

His steps halted as he spun on me, fists clenched at his side. “I’m not a vampire,” he snapped. “I’m not one of you. Not completely.” His eyes flashed away again, and his stance weakened.

That brought up more questions than it answered. “So what are you?”

He let out a harsh sigh through his nose and turned once more to continue on. I followed until he gave in and spoke. “Vampires always ask what I am before they ask my name. You’re all the same,” he scolded. “But if you must know, I’m a bastard child.”

To my knowledge, bastard children didn’t need to drink blood. He looked over his shoulder at the confusion twisting my expression. Then a laugh bubbled from his chest. He pivoted on his heel to face me, walking backward instead. “My father was a vampire,” he explained. “My mom was human. I’m half of each.”

Words fell from my mouth before I could consider a response. “That’s not possible.”

“You all always say that too,” he sighed. “Believe it or not, that’s what I am.”

I flooded him with questions, and though his answers seemed tired and practiced, he explained what he knew without complaint. But while he looked calm, I felt sick to the pit of my stomach. If this truly was possible, then telling those women there was nothing to worry about was one hell of a lie.

“What about your mother?” I asked.

He paused his steps and stared up at the moon. “What would you expect a town to do when an unmarried woman is suddenly with child? We were exiled from the community, and she had to struggle to survive on her own while taking care of a demon of a child. She did everything she could for me even though she should have hated me. She figured out how my aging worked and when I needed blood, but even as she grew old, I was still a child.” He raised his palms and stared down at them. “Humans are weak. They don’t live long. Vampires are strong. They live too long. I’m both and neither. I don’t know what I am, but she did everything she could to help me live, so I’ll live for her.”

I wondered about those I’d left with soothing promises and chaste kisses. I’d stopped sleeping with humans some time ago. Surely they were all dead by now. Surely there was no evidence left of that and I hadn’t harmed any of them with naïve lust.

“Your father?” I questioned.

The child’s eyes darted from the heavens back to me, lip curling toward a snarl. “What about him?”

“Do you hate him?”

“Yes.” But his voice was calm. “If not for him, I wouldn’t exist. I’ve caused more harm than good.” 

I stared at his large brown eyes and round nose, running all the faces I could remember through my head. But they were all faded by time. And there was no way he was mine. So many of us slept around. It wasn’t just me. Plenty of vampires could have a kid with brown hair and eyes.

“What would you do if you met your father?” I asked.

“I’d punch him,” the child snapped. “Hard. Right in the face!”

“And what is your name?”

He blinked. “Well it’s about time you bothered to ask. I’m Tadashi Monono.”

I felt my eye go wide with recognition. But it was a common surname, I reasoned.

“And you are?” he prompted.

“Harlock.”

He stared at me like I’d just changed colors in front of him.

* * *

 

“Did he punch you?” Yama asked, a smile playing on his lips. I wasn’t too surprised that was what interested him most.

“Yes,” I sighed. “Hard, like he’d planned. He shattered my nose. Apparently his mother told him my name and what I looked like. Once he had both confirmed, I couldn’t lie to myself anymore. I swore I was too old to be a father, but I couldn’t let myself abandon him again. He tried to avoid me, but I wouldn’t let him. I wanted to make everything up to him, even though I didn’t know how. I still don’t really know how, but I think he’s better now. Back then he only lived because his mother wanted him to, but now he has Tetsuro, and I think he enjoys living. At least, I hope so.”

Yama nodded. I wondered if he realized the similarity between them. He showed no signs if he did. “So since you’ve heard a story of mine,” I said. “You should tell me one of yours.”

He cocked a brow, frowning. “You know plenty of my family’s dark secrets. I don’t owe you anything.”

Plenty, but not all. I’d get them from him someday. “Alright, then tell me what you’re going to name this cat if I have to be stuck with it. Not naming it after your brother, are you?”

He could have killed a man with that glare. “No, I haven’t picked a name yet. I’m working on it.”

“Last time we had a cat aboard, we called him Mii-kun.” And the cat before that, and the cat before that – all Mii-kun. I was amazed we hadn’t picked up a new one before now. “He was Tochiro’s cat.”

“What does that name mean?” Yama asked.

“It doesn’t have any proper translation. I suppose you could translate it as Mr. Meow.”

His eyes lit up, and he pulled the cat out in front of him to gently poke its nose. “Mii-kun it is.”

His taste in cat names may have been questionable, but at least this would keep Tochiro from bringing aboard another cat just to have one named that. “Just make sure you’re able to feed him. Remember, we leave tomorrow. You’ll need to pick up your clothes also.”

He smiled at the cat wriggling in his hand. “I will,” he said. “And you should tell me more about yourself sometime. I like hearing about you getting punched.”

I thought I remembered him being a gentle soul, but maybe my memory was faulty. “In that case, I’ll tell you about the first time I met you.”


	9. Ira Furor Brevis Est

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Transition/exposition chapters are the bane of my existence. I think I'm getting better at them, and this one turned okay, but of course let me know of any criticisms. At least I'm slowly getting to the plot...slowly. Not that this fic was particularly made to have a stunning plot, but whatever.

Both Yama and Meowdar returned with bundles wrapped by their arms. These consisted almost entirely of clothes, though Yama also carried one of the bushels of flowers that marked vampire spots around the city. I noticed his cat there as well, after it flicked its ear. It lay curled up and napping in the clothes, always at Yama’s side now. Meowdar held a blunderbuss under one arm along with a few articles of clothing too small for Yama and too ratty to be anything new.

I stared down at Meowdar. He blinked back.

In the silence which resulted, I waited for an explanation, while he appeared to wonder why I stood in front of him at all. Waves lapped against the ship’s side and rocked us as gently as a cradle. Meowdar’s blue eyes glowed with the white light of the moon, nearing fullness up above us. His fangs also gleamed white as he spoke. “I’m taking the extra bed,” he said.

“Tetsuro said he was fine with it,” Yama added before I could protest. His even gaze dared me to tell him otherwise, sharp like the prick of a needle. I had a feeling he had his own reasons for keeping Meowdar around. Young people grew attached to others so quickly.

I had a rule that new recruits had to be accepted and invited by me first, but it appeared I had no say in this matter. “What about your cats?” I asked, more out of curiosity than argument. If the boys liked Meowdar, it couldn’t hurt to have him around. It was curious, though – this sudden interest in joining.

“My cats are strays. They can take care of themselves, and my friends will leave out snacks for them. That is,” he smiled, “unless you’d like to take them all with us.”

I shook my head, cringing at the idea. “One cat is plenty. He will take care of any mice. More importantly, why do you wish to join my crew?”

Meowdar’s eyes widened as though he hadn’t considered the question before. “Why?” he echoed in amazement. He tilted his head for a moment in consideration before answering. “Tetsuro and Tadashi are here. I should like to remain with them.”

I glanced to Yama as though he might make some sense of this. He shrugged but appeared to have accepted it without question. “I need to go put my things up before Mii-kun sheds all over them,” he decided. The kitten atop the clothes stretched his paws out and rolled over the sharp new dress shirt as Yama headed below deck.

I had half expected him to try running away while we were docked, so perhaps I should have been excited to gain an extra crew member rather than lose one. But Meowdar defied reason.

“You’ve only just met Tetsuro and my son,” I said, turning back to him. I stressed my relation to Tadashi in a warning. If this boy was not as innocent as he appeared, there would be dire consequences.

Meowdar’s expression hardened, but he nodded his assent. “And it was because of my mistake that Tadashi was brought harm in that short period of time. I must make up for my mistake and look after him. Tadashi and Tetsuro are very small, smaller than me.” A blush rose to his cheeks. “I’ve never met other vampires who are smaller than me, so it is important that I take care of both of them.”

I hated to admit it, but I understood his meaning. Even though a small vampire could rip a man’s still-beating heart from his chest, they appeared so innocent that they seemed to need looking after. I rubbed my forehead as I gave in with a nod. “Fine, you may stay here, but don’t call Tadashi a vampire. He doesn’t like that.”

Meowdar offered as much of a bow as he could manage with his arms full. “I will be a worthy addition to your crew.” He tossed a quick glance around the ship’s deck. “This is…a cargo vessel, yes?”

I couldn’t work up irritation through my amazement. “I suppose we are a cargo ship in the sense that we take cargo from other ships,” I said, trying not to laugh. To be fair, the flag was not back up yet, but I would have hoped he knew what he was getting into.

“Ah, yes.” His smile brightened. “I can also be a good pirate. I simply thought you worked a more lawful job, considering Yama’s interest in the church.”

My own smile faltered, slipping from my face. As though my mind refused to understand his meaning, thoughts cranked through my head with effort. But it wasn’t difficult to guess what had happened. I found myself glaring down at Meowdar, who looked curious rather than concerned. Releasing him, I snapped my eye to the real enemy, the tower perched above all others. It was impossible to miss on the city’s skyline.

Damn. Damn that place. “He tried to go to there,” I growled.

Meowdar nodded in confirmation, his frown sympathetic. “It was a bit of an upsetting experience for him. I did not realize he had not told you.”

He didn’t. He didn’t utter a word about it. As much as I wanted to ask Meowdar for details, it was not his story to tell. I shooed him off to his new room, where he could torment his roommates and not tempt me to hear more about it from a secondhand source.

If Yama wanted to talk about it, we would, and if he did not, I would not pry. But I would request answers at the very least. If he could ask me personal questions, I should be allowed to do the same.

As I entered the room, he slammed the heavy lid of the clothing chest. His cat jolted from its napping spot on my side of the bed. The flowers rested on my desk. “Was everything to your liking?” I asked.

He turned to plop down on the chest. “Everything’s fine,” he huffed, tugging on his bangs. Though his hand obscured his face, it couldn’t hide the red tint of his cheeks. “Thank you.”

I couldn’t help but smile. He was still a polite church boy at heart, even if he didn’t want to be around me. “You’re welcome,” I said with a nod. “Did you try everything on?”

“No.” His shoulders tensed. “I’ll try everything on later, but I know all of it fits. You said we were leaving soon, so we didn’t have enough time for that.”

“True, we will be leaving shortly. Some of the men are a little late in their return to the ship, so we have some time.” I strode over to him and took a seat at his side on the old chest. He remained tensed, leaning away as though I might try something. “I apologize for not properly warning you about the effects of churches, or rather, crosses,” I said. “I didn’t wish to cause you unnecessary harm, so I should have informed you sooner.”

I wasn’t sure what he expected, but it was not that. His wide eyes took me in like a rabbit in a snare before turning to the floor. I waited for a flare of anger or hatred. I thought he might call me a demon again; instead, sorrowed pain filled his gaze. His hands curled into fists in his lap, his knuckles a bloodless white. “I should have known,” he whispered. “I’m a devil now, so it comes to reason that God would treat me as one.”

I placed my hand to the top of his bowed head, letting my fingers slip between smooth strands of hair. “I have a theory about that,” I said. “I think it has little to do with God.” He frowned up at my hand, then me, but let me continue on without complaint. “I believe after all our time on this Earth, vampires as a species learned to fear crosses and the like for the sake of our own survival. Those who carried them were the most likely to want us dead, so our bodies learned to naturally stay away if we see one. We’ve adapted, you see. I've been around so long I learned to overcome that instinct, but you’re still young, and your body aims to keep you alive. God is not the one who hates us, I think. Rather, it is those who decide to carry out God’s will, whether it is truly something he might want or not.” And in all honesty, I wasn’t convinced God existed at all, but I doubted that would go over well with Yama.

Skepticism was written clear across his face. “Why does holy water burn us then?” he asked.

I pursed my lips. The answer to that had always eluded me. “Allergy?” I attempted. He certainly would have rolled his eyes had he not been trained in respect. I let my hand slip from his hair only to wrap my arm around his shoulders and tug him to me. As always, he stiffened at the contact. “Regardless of the reason, I’m sorry you had to go through that. I remember that pain well, like a fire beneath your skin. I know I have been lacking as a sire, but I aim to do better for you from now on.”

He was as tense as a cocked gun, heat radiating from his face. Despite that, he didn’t stand or attempt to push me away. I couldn’t guess what to make of that, so I let my arm fall and stood first. “We will be leaving shortly,” I said. “It will be quite a stretch at sea, so if you start feeling uneasy, stay on the top deck and get some fresh air.”

He nodded, his eyes locked on the floor.

“If we run across another ship, you can come and stay in the room as you please,” I continued, “ or you may stay on deck. But if we cross another ship with vampires on it, I ask that you do stay in here just in case.”

“Do all other vampires hate you?” he muttered.

“Not all. But as things stand, there are several who would gladly kill you in front of me.” I reached out and grasped his chin, tilting his face up to meet mine. His soft, brown eyes attempted to match my glare with defiance, but he could not drown out their innocence. “I will not allow myself to make the same mistake again,” I said. “I will protect you, and you will see all this world has to offer.”

His brows pinched. Reactions from Yama were always a surprise, and his irritation with my words was no different. “I can protect myself,” he hissed. “I will not fall victim to another greedy vampire.”

* * *

 

Well, I’d wanted to take Harlock’s eye, and it appeared I had it now. It just wasn’t quite how I’d intended. I’d felt his gaze on me from the moment I walked out on deck. He manned the wheel, lazily tilting it on occasion despite staring at me the whole time.

I leaned back against the railing around the lower deck, bored out of my wits. We’d been sailing for days on blank, endless water. When I asked about our destination, Harlock looked to Tochiro, who shrugged. Apparently, having a destination, or at least knowing it, was uncommon on this ship.

“We follow where the sea leads, I suppose,” Tadashi said when I complained to him. Despite returning to his position in the galley, his injuries kept his voice at a tired whisper. Still, he smiled as he spoke. “Really, the captain always takes us where we need to go. You just have to trust him.”

Trusting the man who couldn’t quit staring did not seem within my best interests. I’d had quite enough of it. “For someone with only one eye, you sure have trouble keeping it to yourself,” I called. “Shouldn’t you be watching where you’re going or something?” Not that there was anything out there to see, but he could at least pretend.

He blinked at my words before his gaze finally shot off toward the sea at his side. “I was simply looking at your new outfit,” he snapped a little too quickly.  

I cocked a brow. Seeing Harlock flustered was new. Entertaining was a good word for it. Anything to throw him off his usual apathetic or smug attitude was fine with me.

I’d tried one of my nicer outfits, simply because I hadn’t worn it yet, and it couldn’t hurt. No one on the ship bothered with manual labor unless absolutely necessary, so working up a sweat was rare.

“Never worn something so fancy before,” I said, tugging on the ruffles below my chin. Lace seemed to make up a majority of the shirt’s trim. The vest shone green like wet moss and was smooth to the touch. I didn’t care to think about where the money to pay for it had come from, but it was something I never could have imagined affording.

Harlock’s gaze was now adamantly forward, where there was nothing to see. “You look nice,” he said, his grip on the wheel tighter than usual.

Tochiro and the handful of other men lounging around deck tried to hide their snickering.

“Do I look alright?” I asked Tochiro. “I can’t tell if he’s lying.”

Tochiro flashed his usual grin. “He’s not lying, but he’d probably like those clothes better if they were on the floor.”

My eyes rolled up to search my head for the reason behind his words. Putting my nice new clothes on the floor would ruin them. “Wouldn’t they get dirty if I did that?” I muttered. “So he…doesn’t like them?”

From across the deck, Harlock snapped at Tochiro. “You keep those thoughts to yourself,” he warned. “I’m not getting hit for something you say.”

“Are you saying I would hit you?” I demanded, crossing my arms. “I do not commit acts of violence.”

I found everyone staring at me, brows raised. Harlock, especially, appeared confused.

I pulled at my bangs to hide from their eyes. “I mean, only if it’s absolutely necessary. I don’t actively seek out violence.”

Now it was Harlock’s turn to chuckle, and the thought of hitting him grew tempting. Luckily for him, God intervened in the form of Kei yelling down from her perch. “Ship to our port side! Heading our way fast!”

I couldn’t help but feel a glimmer of excitement, but along with it came a sinking pit of dread. Even if it broke the monotony, this ship could bring horror and violence. Boredom was preferable to that.

Still, I was curious. But no matter how much I squinted toward the horizon, I could see only night sky meeting black water. Kei’s eyes had to be like spyglasses to see so far. “Can you identify it?” Harlock asked.

She hummed as she leaned further out from the nest, fingers drumming against the ledge. “Red sails,” she said. “Didn’t Zero’s ship have red sails?”

That name sounded familiar, but the only red sails I could think of were the red crosses on Spanish vessels. Harlock, too, looked stumped, his brow furrowed. “The Karyū did have red sails, but Zero decommissioned her,” he said. “Might be someone copying him. She was a feared vessel.”

It came into view on the horizon as a red pinprick. The handful of us lounging on deck all drifted to the port side for a better look. “Gray body,” Kei said. Harlock’s frown deepened.

“If they’re coming our way, we might as well go greet them,” Tochiro said as a lazy smile eased onto his face.

Harlock’s expression didn’t change, but he spun the wheel toward it. “Rouse the men below deck,” he said. “Be prepared for anything.”

The men shouted a chorus of “Yes, sir,” before rushing off to their stations. I stayed against the side, leaning out and watching the ship grow closer. As Kei said, the ship itself was gray like thick smoke, but it was also massive. If the Arcadia was a stallion, this Karyū was a Clydesdale. Though I could cover it with my palm from the distance between us, there was no hiding its monstrous size. Sails like blood towered over our black ones.

“Captain,” Kei said, “that looks like the Karyū.”

Harlock took a slow breath in and out as he gauged the ship. “It is,” he said at length. No clear emotion touched his voice, but I could see something in his eye that gave me plenty of reason to worry – fear.

“Who is Zero?” I asked Tochiro, who was now frowning the same as Harlock. If Tochiro couldn’t laugh this off, there was definitely something wrong.

“You met him,” he said. “He was the oldblood where you grew up. Had a deal with your brother to keep the vampires in the city safe from hunters.”

I couldn’t place a face or meeting to the name, so it must have been something from that span of time I couldn’t recall. If that was the case, I hadn’t truly met him, not as myself.

The rest of the deck crew spilled out from below, rushing to their stations as Harlock barked orders. “We’ll come up alongside them. Drop the sails, and be ready to run a line between us.”

“You don’t think it’s a trap?” Tochiro asked.

“They fly Zero’s flag. If it is a trap, they are cowards, and we will rid the world of their ilk.” He looked to me, the corner of his mouth twitching toward a frown. “If you choose to remain on deck in this case, then I am to assume you are willing to engage in battle as a part of my crew.”

It seemed to be an attempt to deter me. If anything, it made determination blaze in my chest. I pulled my gun from its holster and held it at the ready. “You can give me orders,  _Captain_ ,” I drawled. “But I will choose whether or not they should be followed.”

He sighed through a smile. “Of course. You’re certainly one of my crew.”

The Karyū made the waves roar as they parted around it. Its dozen sails stacked on top of each other and matched the long coat of the man standing at the bow. His dress was much like mine, more at home at a ball than on a ship, though gray smears of ash marred it. Even with one arm tucked into his jacket as though it needed to be in a sling, he stood tall and proud. Eyes close to the color of his coat cut into Harlock like he wanted the pirate dead.

This was Zero. I knew it was him because he looked so familiar. I’d seen that face before, square jaw and long nose, but I hadn’t seen it recently. The vague outline of him in my memory was from years before. Of course, he still looked exactly as he would have ten or fifteen years ago.

No one talked as the two ships edged toward each other. Sails were lowered. Hooks were thrown across the gap, tying the two together. The men of the Arcadia appeared uncertain, glancing between each other in search of answers.

As the Karyū’s bow leveled with the Arcadia’s stern, Harlock answered Zero’s hatred with hardened acceptance. The world grew voiceless at their meeting. Even the waves knew to remain silent as we all waited for some sort of signal from the captains.

The first sound was Zero’s boots against the wooden deck. His strides, quicker and quicker, took him to the edge of his ship, where he stepped up onto the rail and leapt across the gap. There was half a ship’s width between them, but he cleared it with little apparent effort, slamming into the Arcadia’s deck. The boards crackled under his weight as he straightened his knees. Harlock did not move or speak, even as Zero stormed toward him.

I couldn’t understand what was happening until Harlock breathed a sigh, closing his eyes and tensing against what was coming. Even as I realized Zero’s intent, I couldn’t move or speak fast enough to stop his fist from cracking against Harlock’s jaw.

Surely, this would start a fight between everyone. The Arcadia’s crew always jumped up to defend one of its own, even over small things like accusations of cheating at cards. But as Harlock staggered back, clutching what could only be a broken jaw, no one moved. Zero began to close the gap between them once more, his fist pulled back.

“Wait!” I yelled. My legs propelled me toward the ledge of the upper deck in a sprint. My attempt to jump, like I’d seen other vampires do effortlessly, landed me with the ledge cutting into my gut. My toes pushed up against the wall, and my fingers grasped for purchase on the boards. I was getting nowhere fast.

My struggle to drag myself up was cut short by a hand grasping my wrist and pulling me up as though I weighed nothing. Dangling by his grip, I found myself face-to-face with the man who looked ready to kill Harlock moments before. As he held me up, my toes far from the boards, his features were softened by curiosity. “Yama,” he said, his eyes brightening in realization. “That outfit looks very nice on you.”

He lowered me to the deck as I gaped at him. “Thank…you,” I managed at length. He stood a head taller than me with a smile on his face, one hand patting my hair. The other hand – well, that was the odd thing – he had no other hand. I hadn’t noticed from a distance, but his right sleeve hung empty, tied into the inside of his coat as though he’d simply tucked his arm there. I would have assumed this was normal had Harlock not been so fixated on it. His eye followed the line of Zero’s shoulder as he cracked his jaw back into place.

“Sir,” I attempted. “Could you sort out your differences without punching Harlock? There’s no need for violence.”

Zero’s brows shot up, and Harlock snorted at his side. “I thought you enjoyed me being hit,” he said before spitting a mouthful of blood to his side.

“Only in stories!” I hissed. “I don’t want to watch you get destroyed, especially if you’re not fighting back. Don’t argue with me when I’m trying to help.”

Zero breathed a laugh and patted my cheek. “Very well then. If you don’t wish harm against him, I will make due with one punch. I should have expected this from the sort of feral you were.”

Zero’s amusement did not reach Harlock. He wiped the back of his hand across his mouth, eye boring into Zero. “What happened?” he demanded, waving a hand toward the Karyū. “Is this all that’s left?”

Any trace of happiness slipped from Zero’s features. He looked back to his ship, to the faces dotting the deck. I followed his eyes to find women and men who wore more bandages and tatters than actual clothes. Only a handful looked like sailors who might hang around a pub, but they looked as tired as the rest. I recognized some of them – a shopkeeper, a tailor, a farmer. They had no business out on the sea.

“The city’s gone,” Zero breathed. “Everything’s gone. There was a fire, spread through like a swarm. We saved everyone we could.” His shoulder shook along with his voice. “We tried, dammit.”

“Ezra?” Harlock asked, a dark pool of cold hatred in his eye.

“There’s…“ Zero took a ragged breath “There’s more to it than that, but, yes. Ezra was the starting point.”

It felt as though he was stabbing me again, over and over, piercing my heart with that stake. I bled out until there was nothing of me left but a hollow shell. Stepping forward, I leaned my face into Zero’s shoulder. “I’m sorry,” I heard myself say.

“Your brother’s actions are not yours, little one,” Zero sighed. “You have no reason to apologize.”

“No,” I murmured. “It is my fault. I’m the reason he hates you…us. I’m the reason he wants us all dead.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's Yama fault that Ezra is a bag of dicks? Gasp. What a surprise.


	10. Laudator Temporis Acti

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is very dialogue heavy. I hate doing that, but I wasn't really feeling flashbacks stacked on top of each other. Hope you like it alright.

I learned of vampires from my friends around the city, kids who overran the orphanages and had so much dirt on them I could only guess what color their skin might be underneath it all. Vampires were a story, a fairytale warning against the dangers of staying out too late.

Demons were a reality. On Sundays I listened to the preacher explain away how demons would destroy us if we let them. Even the smallest slip-up left room for a demon to seduce you and drag you to Hell. Demons had no mindset or feelings of their own, only wanting to see humans suffer and turn from God.

Vampires, well, it was difficult to say with vampires. After all, they weren’t real, but the other kids talked about them like they were more than mere monsters. Like werewolves, they possessed a human side. Vampires were people in some sense. Despite my arguments to the contrary, my friends insisted vampires were not any sort of possessed person or demon in human form. Vampires could read, write, teach, think – almost anything a human might do but with a taste for blood.

I still hadn’t ruled out the prospect of demonic possession completely, but I could no longer deny the human side to vampires. As Harlock sat beside me, he sipped wine and looked like the weight of the world settled on his back. Across the table from us, Zero threw a fit when he saw Tadashi’s state. He fretted over the half-breed like a worried mother despite Tadashi’s insistence that everything was fine.

I’d stopped paying attention halfway through Zero’s lecture against Harlock’s style of parenting and being a sire. It appeared Harlock was never paying attention, eye glazed over as Zero beat his fist against the table between us. The golden ale of the glass in front of him wobbled against the force.

Zero was more observant than I gave him credit for. “You’re not listening to a word I’m saying, are you?” he huffed.

“I’m listening,” Harlock said. The film cleared from his eye as he set his glass down. “But I was wondering when you would get to the point. I need to know what happened. What did Ezra do? Where in the seven Hells is your arm?”

I decided against correcting his count of the Hell circles as Zero’s shoulders drooped. “Yes,” Zero sighed, holding the rim of his glass by the tips of his fingers. “I suppose I have to get to that. But allow me to stall a bit longer. I need more alcohol in my system.” He knocked his glass back before turning his gaze to me. “Let’s hear your explanation first,” he said. “Maybe some reason to pity the priest might help, though I can’t imagine how any of this is your fault.”

I gnawed the inside of my lip, my eyes wandering to the flickering candle in the center of the table. It lit a sphere of yellow warmth around us, casting macabre shadows across the faces of the men sitting with me. Still, I doubted it was enough to make them look more exhausted than they already did. It seemed to infect me too, not quite a desire for sleep but a need to lie down and rest. The weight of this memory seemed too much to bear, and I’d spent many nights relinquishing myself to that exhaustion rather than facing it. I'd tried to forget everything, to wipe it from my memory. But nothing is that simple.

I closed my eyes, easing a slow breath from my chest before I opened them. Both men looked to me, waiting for me to begin. I felt no pressure in their stares, only patience.

“I’m not quite sure where to begin,” I admitted. My attempt at a smile flickered across my lips. “I was trained to hunt from a young age. Brother never said what we would be hunting, but I always assumed it would be animals. Even after he told me otherwise, he said no one outside of the church should think I hunted anything but small game. It was after I turned eighteen when he first explained we would hunt demons, but only if I could pass a test. I had to prove I could kill one without being tempted by it. That was our order’s way of doing things.”

Zero’s brow furrowed as he poured himself another glass. “He told you we were demons? He knew better than that.”

“He never used the word vampire,” I said with a shrug. “As far as I knew, you were a made up explanation for demonic occurrences.”

Harlock snorted as his glass reached his lips. “I’ve been around the world a few times, and I must say, I’ve never met one of your demons.”

“Regardless of what we are, Ezra and I had a deal,” Zero said as he ran his fingers back through his hair. “A city’s oldblood is traditionally the one who carries out law and punishment within the city, but I would report any information on rogue vampires to him, including any I caught or killed. I was also to accept any decisions he made when it came to killing others, whether or not I believed they had done anything wrong. He seemed reasonable in his efforts and choices, so I was fine with the bargain. I had little dispute with his choices until recent years when his hunts began to get out of hand. But in return for this, he allowed the rest of us to live in the city in peace. He knew of us as vampires, not demons. Perhaps calling us demons made killing us easier.”

I traced my finger along one of the smooth grooves in the table’s surface, nodding as he spoke. “I remember you,” I said. “It was the middle of the night, and I was sneaking to the kitchens. I heard someone talking to Brother in the dining hall.” This was a kinder memory. Closing my eyes, I recalled the deep undertone of voices from behind the door. My small heart trilled in my chest for fear of getting caught, but I could smell the day’s leftover bread not far away. I tiptoed to the table, pushing myself up on it as my toes dangled over the dusty floor. I reached out sticky fingers for one of the pretty brown rolls until the door opened with a squeak.

“The dining hall?” Zero echoed as I opened my eyes. “We stopped meeting there years ago after…” His expression warmed with realization. “Ah, you were the little thief.” He took in the sight of me with fresh eyes. “I thought you were someone spying on us at first, just a little nervous heartbeat in the other room. You’ve certainly grown since then. You hardly reached my hip at the time. I suppose Ezra being your brother does explain why he was so upset when I picked you up.”

Back then, I’d expected a scolding from the tall stranger, but he held me up above his head with a brilliant grin. “You should be asleep, little one,” he said, more of an observation than a suggestion. “Are you one of the church’s orphans?”

“He is not,” Ezra snapped, fire blazing behind cold eyes. “Put him down. He has a family and should have nothing to do with you.” I'd never seen him act so harshly toward someone. I'd also never heard him lie, but I wouldn't argue if he decided I wasn't an orphan for the moment.

The man eased me back to the floor as Brother glared venom at him. Despite the hiss of a warning in my brother’s words, the stranger nudged the roll I’d wanted into my hands from behind as Ezra told me to go back to bed. I’d wondered for years how the man managed to grab it without me or Brother noticing, and it appeared I had an answer now.

“You were going to steal him, weren’t you?” Harlock drawled, his eye pinning Zero.

“I would have adopted him,” Zero muttered. “It’s not stealing. That’s what you did.” 

Harlock’s shoulders twitched with a shrug. “I’m not the one always trying to steal newbloods from sires.”

Zero’s eyes narrowed in on Harlock, so I cleared my throat. I didn’t need Harlock getting himself punched again. “Brother said the demon had killed several people around the city, and we needed to kill it,” I continued before they could irritate each other anymore. “It was hiding in the forest around the church, and the goal was to catch it with a trap and take it back to the storage house to exorcise it.”

“I’m guessing exorcising involved either a stake or fire, yes?” Harlock asked. His expression was unreadable.

I swallowed the swelling in my throat, only able to nod. “I found it first, in one of the traps.”

But it wasn’t an “it,” my mind corrected. Those wild eyes staring up at me were those of a person. She clawed at the snare around her neck, desperate for air.

“I thought she might be human at first, but she was afraid of me because of my rosary. She cowered away, and I thought this was a sure sign of a demon. Tying her up was easy.” My voice faded to a whisper as my words wore on. It hurt to breathe, as though I’d gained a taste of her pain. The snare had cut into her skin as she gargled and choked through her suffering. As I dragged her back, I tried not to look or listen, even though Brother said not to turn your back on them.

“I took her to the storage house, and Brother looked so proud. He told me what good I was doing in saving people from further harm by destroying…that thing.” I couldn’t look anywhere but the groove on the table, my finger grinding it deeper. “We tied her to a stake. There was a chimney to deal with any smoke or fumes, and the house was closer to the gardens than the sanctuary in case the fire got out of hand.”

Even though the candle in front of me smelled nothing like the roaring blaze eating through wood, stone and flesh, the scent filled my nose and lungs with each breath. Recalling the wall of smoke made it burn my throat once again. I felt as though I was swallowing needles.

“She was crying,” I said. “I believe she was guilty for her crimes, but she cried when Brother told me to start the fire. She looked so scared. She couldn’t talk, but I could see the pleading in her eyes. I didn’t think demons could cry. It unnerved me.”

I felt my nails digging into the tabletop, splinters pressing against my fingertips. I saw no reason to stop myself until Harlock pulled my hand free and held it in his own.

“I threw the torch away,” I whispered, my lips trembling. “I wasn’t thinking. I just wanted it away from me. I couldn’t stand the idea of her burning alive. But the torch hit far beyond the safety barrier we’d made to keep the fire in check. One of our gunpowder barrels caught.”

I returned Harlock’s hold so tightly I may have broken a bone, but I needed something to keep me grounded. As I once again felt the explosion send me flying into a wall, the flashes of fire threatened to take over the present. Pain erupted through my legs and arm. I couldn’t see through the smog of heat. “Someone pulled me out,” I whispered, afraid I might sob if I spoke any louder. Warm tears soaked my cheeks.

As I tried to choke out more, Harlock’s arms wrapped around me. I found myself crushed his chest. The smell of him overpowered the fire, soft ash and hues of wine surrounding me. “You can stop,” he murmured into my hair. “That’s enough. We understand.”

But they didn’t. “No, no,” I choked, curling my fist into the fabric of his shirt. “That’s not the end. The fire kept spreading. We couldn’t stop it.” A sob rattled through me as I heard that scream piercing the night air. I could never keep the sound out of my head. There was always that scream, over and over, followed by Ezra yelling her name. “It reached the garden. Nami had a house in the middle of it. It went up in flames like kindling.”

“Nami,” Zero sighed. “I heard she died, but I never knew how.” Harlock must have thrown him a questioning glance as Zero continued. “Ezra loved her dearly. I believe he would have married her if not for his profession.”

“It was my fault,” I whispered into Harlock’s shoulder. “It was my fault Nami died.” After that, Ezra locked me in the cellar for the first time, saying it was for my own good. Being in a place like that would supposedly remove the demonic influence from me, but in the end I’d made a deal with a devil to escape.

Harlock’s arms tightened around me until I could hardly breathe. “Your brother asked too much of you and then punished you for an accident,” he growled. “No boy should be driven to murder in such a way. We should be the ones taking care of our own kind. I understand his grief, but he has no excuse for the harm he caused you.”

I would have argued, but Zero’s glass smacked against the table, startling me into looking his way. “So the loss of Nami due to a hunt against a vampire, followed by Yama being turned by a vampire, led him to the utter insanity that destroyed my city, it seems.” The bottle of ale on the table was empty, but his speech showed no signs of slurring.

“What happened, Zero?” Harlock pressed.

Zero remained silent for a moment, circling a finger around the rim of his glass. Ezra did something horrific to him and many others, something perhaps not even God could forgive. Still, I wasn’t certain I could hate him. I was angry with him, of course. Every inch of me pulsed with a growing rage because he would allow himself to do such cruel things. When we were young, Ezra was gentle and kind, always quick to run to my aid. But I ruined that with the fire. I burned away that part of him. What was left soaked Zero’s voice in sorrow.

“In some ways, it was like what happened with Yama,” he began. “It was a hunt Ezra lost control of. He was going to kill as many of us as possible, so he and the rest of the hunters set out during the day. They burned places where vampires were known to live, hoping to drown us out into the sunlight. For the most part, it was a good plan. Sick, but good. If they’d gone in the houses with us, we could have fought back, but because they stayed in the sun, we had nothing. The humans weren’t sure what was happening, but most of them trusted whatever lies the church gave. Those who didn’t were the ones who saved us, running through the city yelling warnings.”

Zero scratched at the stubble across his chin, his eyes heavy. “Some were able to escape to the catacombs, but not all had a direct path. Many perished in the fire or Sun. Had the priests stayed with the houses, their plan would have gone fine, but the fools ignited the bar as well. Perhaps they didn’t think we would have actual liquor. Either that, or they were simply getting overzealous. We stored weapons and gunpowder there too in huge quantities. Once that went up, they couldn’t keep the fires under control. It swept through the city as easily as the wind. We kept going back up as many of the catacomb entrances as we could, trying to bring whoever we found to safety. The tunnels led to a cave far outside town if you knew the right path.”

He leaned back in his chair, staring at the ceiling. “When I burst through one entrance, I found myself face-to-face with Ezra. He’d killed the vampires who lived there, and he hardly seemed human anymore. He was spitting mad, covered in blood. And yet,” he closed his eyes, “he was crying. I’m certain he never intended the fire to get out of hand. He told me this was my fault and he should have gotten rid of me a long time ago. He tried to order his men down the passage, but I told him we’d lost enough lives. Besides, they were bound to get lost down there. I said we should work together to save whoever was left, but there was no reasoning with him anymore.”

Zero's hand drifted toward the curve of his shoulder where his sleeve hung empty. “I was too weak to fight. There was sun coming in through the ceiling, and the fire was getting to me. When his boys tackled me and held me down, I couldn’t shake them. Ezra stormed up to me with an ax, and the most I could do was throw my weight to the side to keep the blow from taking off my head. It hit my shoulder instead, and I suppose Ezra decided that was good enough. He took off my arm with a second strike.”

His deadened eyes opened, and he looked to Harlock. “I’ve had limbs removed before, but as long as I got the damn thing back, it would re-attach on his own. That bastard threw my arm in the fire, and I could feel it burning, Harlock. I could feel the skin frying and boiling and melting. It was Hell. Ezra knew exactly what he was doing, cauterized the wound with his torch and asked me how it felt to feel my arm burn. He knows things about us we don’t.”

Harlock’s movements were fragmented as he reached up to brush his fingers through my hair. He seemed to be holding his anger back with each jolt of his arm, wrath building behind his eye.

“Marina showed up and saved my ass, or Ezra would have killed me then,” Zero sighed, rubbing his hand over his face. “We took everyone we could and ran, and now we’re here. Damn, I’m not drunk enough for all this.”

Harlock growled his agreement. “I’m going to _kill_ Ezra.”

Despite all my brother had done, I still flinched at Harlock’s words. I didn’t want him dead. He was the last family I had left, and I could still think back to those years when he looked at me with love and pride in his eyes. My brother never wanted to be a cruel person. He wanted to protect our home. I still loved him for that, for the person he used to be. If he died, that was completely gone too.

“I don’t know where he is now,” Zero said. “Could be back at the church, but I have more important things to attend to than revenge. I would recommend you walk the same path for now and occupy yourself with your crew.”

With a huff of breath, Harlock gave me another squeeze before pushing me away to stand. Without his scent around me, I realized how long I’d let him hold me. My spine tensed, and I sat rigid in my chair. Zero looked to me in confusion as Harlock called Tadashi from the kitchen.

The boy appeared, leaning against the doorframe. “Want more to drink?” he asked.

“No, I want you to look after Yama for the moment.” He clapped a hand down on my shoulder, causing me to raise them toward my ears. “I have something I need to discuss with Zero in private.” He glared down at Zero, who glared right back. I wondered if vampires could kill each other with their eyes, as that appeared to be what they were trying to do.

“Fine,” Zero snapped. His chair ground back across the floor as he stood.

Harlock grabbed Zero by the collar of his coat and dragged him away, storming out the door.

Tadashi sighed. “He doesn’t even ask me if I’m okay with doing this. Just dumps you on me.” He pushed himself from the doorframe and strode over to take Harlock’s seat next to me. “I assume by ‘look after,’ he means I should take up coddling you.” He wrapped his arms around my middle, leaning his cheek against my shoulder. “There-there,” he said. “If you’re really sad, I can get Tetsuro and Meowdar to come drown you in affection.”

I cleared my throat, unsure if he was joking. I felt coddled enough for one day. “I’m doing alright now. I appreciate your concern, but I’m more concerned with what Harlock and Zero are doing.”

He gave a small hum of disapproval before releasing me. “Well, the captain is madder than a bull right now, and Zero probably is too. He’s a little better at hiding his anger. I’d imagine they’re both going to blow off some steam, which means they're either going to beat each other to a bloody mess or-”

“They’d better not!” I snapped, slamming my fists down on the table. “I told them not to fight! I can’t believe them, trying to sneak this past me.”

Tadashi tried to say something to stop me, but I was already out the door. Harlock’s heart began to pulse wildly in my chest, but mine answered with an equal trill as I ran down the way I’d watched them turn, toward Harlock’s cabin. I didn’t care if they were both captains. They were going to listen to me.

When I reached the door, I slammed my weight against it, throwing it open. The scolding died in my throat as I found the men breaking their lips apart.  Blood was smeared across Harlock’s mouth as he looked up to find me there, his brows raised. I couldn’t move or speak. I could only stare.

Zero’s irritation gave way to embarrassment as he realized I was there, his eyes darting away as he wiped the blood from his lips with the back of his hand. His back was pressed to the desktop, one of Harlock’s hands holding him down by the shoulder, the other slipping up beneath his shirt.  I managed a slow step back as I noticed Harlock’s leg pressed between Zero’s. An apology rose in my throat, held back by my stuck tongue.

There was still a hint of anger in Harlock’s eye, but it was overwhelmed by something dark and weighted. As he watched me curiously, he licked the blood from his lips. “Yama,” he began, his voice a deep purr.

I ripped the door closed.

I returned to the galley on stiff legs to find Tadashi waiting with his chin in his palm. His fingers drummed on the table. “I tried to warn you,” he said. “Did they at least still have their clothes on?”

I sank into my seat, unable to respond. My hands found my face. “Are they going to do… _things_ on my bed?” I whined.

Tadashi snickered, and I peered between my fingers to find him struggling to hold back a smile. “Were they on the bed?”

“No, the desk.”

“Then they’ll probably do _things_ there,” he said with a laugh, “unless they fall on the floor.”

I gave another whine into my hands, my face burning. Honestly, I wouldn’t have minded so much if I couldn’t feel Harlock’s excited pulse rattling through my chest. Hopefully they would finish soon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Angry sex is always a good cure for wanting to kill a man.


	11. Addendum

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is literally just a smut chapter. I mentioned on FF that I was considering writing a "bonus scene", and I got a few requests to follow through on that, so here it is. It didn't flow well tacked onto the next chapter, so it's just its own thing to skip if you want. There's not really any important plot stuff you're missing if you do. I'm pretty new to writing smut, and I'm still a little messy with it, so leave me a critique if you'd like so I can see where to improve. Hope it's alright though.

As soon as Yama slammed the door shut between us, I couldn’t help but feel disappointment. Of course, this wasn’t some dream that would go exactly as I pleased. If it had been, Zero would have his other arm so I could bind his wrists together.

“I told you to bar the door,” he snarled under me. His eyes seemed to burn with the same fire as his face.

“I was hoping he might join us,” I said with a grin. I knew he never would, but the suggestion was worth the disgust that overtook Zero’s embarrassment. The more I could rile him up, the better.

“You leave that boy alone,” he scolded. “He’s too innocent for the likes of you.”

“Is that right?” My hand travelled up the skin of his stomach and chest. Raised scars brushed under my fingertips, ages old. I traced lines from blades or whips, trying to remember which ones I left with my old rapier.

His furrowed brows twitched as he tried to keep his composure. “You’d better not bother him. If I find out you did anything-” He cut off with a hiss as I adjusted my legs between his. I fought to keep my smug expression from melting equally as his squirming leg between mine gave me the same treatment. I couldn’t keep up this charade much longer.

Leaning in close, I licked up the line of blood running down his cheek. He tasted better than I remembered. “I won’t do anything to him until he asks,” I said before catching Zero’s lips again. He hissed air through his nose like an enraged bull as I tugged his coat from his shoulders. I didn’t care what he was mad about anymore, as long as he was mad. His fangs sank into my tongue as it invaded his mouth, and my blood mixed with his. The sharp sweetness wetted his tongue even more against mine.

I was certain Zero could be a gentleman with some partners, but there was nothing graceful or romantic in the way our teeth cracked against each other and his bottom lip bled freely from a harsh bite.

My gentle touch disappeared as I raked my nails down his chest. He jolted before punching me in the shoulder. Being punched during foreplay with him wasn’t anything new, but judging from his growls, he wanted me off.

I released his lips to take a breath, and he shoved me away. “Dammit, Harlock!” he roared as he sat up. “These are my only clothes right now. I can’t have them getting stained.” He set to forcibly shrugging his coat off, and I wondered how difficult it was to dress with one hand.

“You’re supposed to let me rip them off you,” I sighed. “I can give you a change of clothes.”

“I want nothing to do with your wardrobe.” He was possibly still upset about the time we rushed to put our clothes back on and showed up to a meeting wearing each other’s shirts. Even though everyone knew, he liked to pretend it wasn’t obvious when we had sex.

After he yanked his cravat off, I once more slipped my hands beneath his shirt, this time helping him remove it. “You’re taking too long,” I said, smiling against his glare.

Once the shirt was gone, he gave me no time to feel concern for his wound. “Am I to assume you’re aiming to top?” he asked.

I blinked my eye away from the bubbles of red and white skin. It looked to be healing, but I doubted our healing ability would be enough to give him a new arm. As much as I wanted to ask him if it still hurt, if he was more willing to talk about sex, his arm had to be off limits for now. I managed another smile as I leaned into the crook of his neck. “You know me too well.”

He tensed, waiting for the bite. It only made me hold off a bit longer. “You’re still the same brat pirate you were when I first met you,” he growled.

I breathed a laugh against his skin, and he shuddered. “And you’re still the same tight-ass,” I said. As much as I wanted to make him suffer more, I had to bite him then. His pure blood filled my mouth, and I drank greedily just for the taste.

“You bastard,” he gasped. I was certain he hated himself for the pleasure in his voice. He clawed at my back, tearing through my shirt like paper. “If you’re going to fuck me, just get it over with.”

I pulled my fangs from him, quite ready to follow orders. Grabbing his shoulder, I spun him around and slammed his chest down on the desk. Before he could retaliate, I leaned my weight over him. “I love when you beg,” I said, nipping the back of his ear.

“I am not begging,” he hissed.

“Oh, but you will be.” Much longer and I would be too. I ground my hips against his ass, ready to have him moaning curses at me. “Your spit or mine?” I asked.

He smacked his forehead against the desk, sighing. “There has to be something better for this.”

“We can use wine,” I laughed. “I’ve heard it makes you drunker.”

“Your spit,” he drawled. “It’ll shut you up for a minute, you sick fuck.”

Sure, the actual sex was great, but sometimes his absolute disgust with me was the best part. As I tugged off his belt, I rolled my tongue around my fingers. I liked it better when he had to suck on them, usually biting me a few times for good measure. For the moment, he just rested his cheek against the desk, one eye glaring up my way. He could cover most of his feelings with a mask of irritation, but he couldn’t hide the flush filling his cheeks as his pants fell. When I was done with him, he wouldn’t be able to hide a thing.

“Ready?” I asked, a line of saliva trailing from my middle finger as I pulled them from my lips.

His glare darted away. “I hate you,” he muttered.

“But you love to hate me,” I purred, leaning close to lick the pools of blood from the bite on his neck. His spine tensed beneath me as I pressed a finger inside of him. “How long has it been since you’ve had sex?” I asked.

He grunted as one finger turned to two. I couldn’t have him getting too comfortable. “That’s none of your business,” he spat.

“Oh, so it’s been a while then?” And it made him damn tight. That combined with the heat and the slickness of my spit was getting to be a bit much for me. I reached around and grabbed his growing erection. He gave a sharp gasp before he could stop himself.

“It’s been a while for me too,” I admitted, the strain in my voice growing. I rolled my thumb around the tip of his cock just to watch him claw at my desk top.

“You bastard,” he panted. “Oh, you bastard.”

“I love when you call me that,” I said. I added in a third finger as I began stroking him so slow I could see his jaw clench. Finally, I worked my fingers in deep enough to feel his hips twitch. His eyes did as well, his nose flaring as he tried to keep from showing any of his pleasure to me. He fought a good fight, but he would lose.

“Beg for it,” I ordered.

He swallowed, but his voice was still laced with the threat of a moan as a spoke. “Never.”

I sank my fangs into his shoulder, dragging a gasp from him. I worked my fingers in a steady rhythm along with the strokes against his hard cock. His traitorous body followed me, his hips pushing back and forth to draw out more pleasure. As I drew more blood, my chest heaved with the need to give in first. If my pants hadn’t still been on, I would have already.

Just as I was about to remove my fingers, a strained moan escaped him. I released his shoulder to find his eye glazed with pleasure. “More,” he panted. “Just fuck me already.”

“As you wish,” I hummed as I slipped my fingers out.

That glare of his returned with a vengeance. “One of these days I’m going to fucking kill you.”

“I’m just surprised you haven’t already. One would almost think you enjoyed this too much to have me dead.” I whipped my belt off, loving the loathing in his eye. It was difficult to take seriously with the drool glistening on his cheek.

“One would be wrong,” he said dryly.

“Maybe.” But I loved it. Grabbing his hips, I entered him with little hesitation or time for him to adjust.

His fist smashed into the desk as he spat the sort of curses he used to scold other sailors for.

“You could have sucked me off if you wanted some more lubrication,” I said, my voice too heavy with the weight of keeping still to be snide. I needed friction and heat. I needed to hear him give into his desires as I was falling into mine.

“It’s your job to prepare me.” He tried to call me some form of insult, but it became a slur of nonsense as I began to move. If he was still in pain, he didn’t appear to care. His eyes rolled back, and I pressed myself over him to feel the heat radiating from him with each thrust.

“You always feel so good,” I praised between heaving breaths.

“I hate you,” he moaned. For some reason, I loved him for that. I regretted not being gentler for him, not making him feel as good as things could have been. But there was no going back now. There was only heat and desire, a need to reach our breaking points and fall over the edge.

I could feel his heart pounding through his spine, faster than my thrusts could ever keep up with. His hips pressed back to meet each one as he whispered my name in broken syllables. His mind was too clouded with lust to keep his pride. Even if my name didn’t mean anything during sex, I liked to imagine it did.

“Warrius,” I breathed his name in return. He never let me say his first name, but now he was too caught up in pleasure to correct me. For the moment, he could be mine. I would regret all of it later, but it felt too damn good inside him to care.

“Harder,” he demanded, something I’d never drug out of him before. I looked up to find a wild smirk on his face. “Come on, you’re supposed to be angry. Don’t make me take over.”

I grinned in return as I crushed his hips in my hands and pulled him into another hard thrust. “Better?” I choked, closing my eye as it rolled back into my skull.

“Better,” he muttered distantly as the tension melted from his shoulders. “Much better. More, Harlock.”

“More?” As nice as it sounded, my legs were trembling under me. It felt like a rope was pulled taught in my gut, ready to snap. “I’m almost done,” I admitted. “You’re too good.” Reaching around, I stroked him in time with the harsh pace.

“More,” he truly begged for the first time, even repeating his plea over and over, his voice growing in volume as I sped up toward release.

A shudder ran through him, and he curled in on the desk as he gave in. At the sound of his broken moan, the rope snapped inside of me. I bit his shoulder once more to keep from gasping his name. It had been too long since I’d felt the pleasure of release, and it hit me like a crashing wave.

The rattling pulse of release eased along with our pounding heartbeats, and I relaxed on top of him. He panted along with me for a moment before reaching back and ramming his fist into my forehead. He couldn’t manage as much force as he undoubtedly wanted with the awkward angle. “Off,” he demanded. “I can’t stay here all night.”

I wrapped my arms around his middle, kissing his bleeding shoulder. “You could,” I sighed. He could stay with me on the Arcadia. If only I could have him as my pirate just as I would so willingly be his.

“I can’t,” he huffed, always the same answer. He tugged at my ear until I got off of him, his lip twitching as I pulled out. I’d have to get a bath set up for him before he could really leave though. Sweat gleamed on him along with other things as he set to gathering his clothes, and I was certain we both reeked of sex.

“Maybe you should be going after that newblood of yours,” he muttered. “You’ve been awfully clingy since…” Either he thought better of it, or he preferred not to think about it as well, trailing off with a sigh. “But if you’re going to seduce that boy, just behave. Don’t you pressure him into anything.”

I held up my hands in surrender. “It would take a miracle to get that kid in bed anyway. He’s still pretty stuck on his religion.”

“As he should be. Anything that keeps him away from you is really for the best.” He cringed as he examined himself.

“Don’t worry. I’ll have a bath drawn for you,” I said. “You can use one of the bedsheets to cover yourself on the way to it if you want. And-” I leaned in until he frowned at our noses bumping. “-we can even bathe together.”

“No.” He gripped my chin, eyes locked with mine. “I’m not your toy, Harlock. As much as I hate to admit it, I do this every now and then with you because I want to. I’m not to be played around with or used.”

He released me and turned away, shrugging on his coat. He really did know me too well. Maybe, in reality, I did only want to use him. Even during sex, he wasn’t really mine, but I’d never cared about that until after losing what was most precious to me. I’d never pined after Zero until my heart was ripped out, and it wasn’t fair to use him as a replacement.

Still, it was fun to watch his face screw up as I snuck a kiss. “Harlock-!” he began, only for a soft knock to cut him off.

“Hey, are you done?” Tadashi called. “I think you scared Yama for life. You need to mind your heartbeat.”

“Oh, you know I forgot about that,” I muttered. He would have felt the progress of the whole ordeal in a way, that poor innocent church boy. I struggled not a laugh at the thought.

Zero must have forgotten as well, his eyes wide and his ears burning redder than his hair. “Well at least he knows you gave me a good time,” I goaded him with a grin.

His fist rammed into my gut, and I doubled over with a wheeze. “Put on your clothes,” he hissed, “and go apologize to that child, or so help me I will set you on fire, Harlock.”

I could have asked him if that was an innuendo, but I felt like staying in one piece for the moment. I could always save further harassment for later.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I like to think Zero is a prude up until sex, and then he says a bunch of things he regrets later. Of course Harlock is a snarky bastard at all times.


	12. Mare Liberum

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was kind of a pain to write because I'm just so excited for the next chapter. I wanted to be writing that one. There is a super minor cameo of a couple characters from a somewhat obscure Leijiverse show in this one, so kudos to you if you recognize them.

Zero looked determined to scrub holes in his skin with lye soap. He sat as much of himself as he could in the round wooden tub, his knees poking out of the water. We were both a bit too tall for them, and the freshwater Tadashi heated up for us had gone cold before I managed to scrub myself clean.

Now I’d grown accustomed to the chill of it. I leaned on the edge of my tub, soaked hair covering what my eyepatch usually hid. “How exactly do you think I should go about apologizing to my distressed newblood?” I asked. If Tadashi was to be believed, Yama spent a good portion of the ordeal beating his forehead against a galley table.

“You could let me take him,” Zero said without looking my way. Any signs that we’d been together were long gone. No bite marks or scratches marred skin, and the air smelled of bitterly clean lye.

“You can’t have Yama.” I didn’t understand why he never had a newblood of his own if he wanted one so much. “You don’t even know what your destination is, and some of your passengers are humans. It’s not safe to put him on a ship like that for a long period of time.”

Zero gave a noncommittal hum and stuck the soap bar between his knees. There, he rubbed his arm against it. It seemed he’d adapted well enough, so perhaps I had nothing to worry about. He might remain one of my few equals at swordplay regardless.

“If you’d truly like to make it up to the boy, you could start by thinking more about his needs,” he said, ignoring my eye lingering on him. “Raising a newblood is like raising a child. You must be mindful of them.”

That sounded nice in theory, but bringing up children was not a strong suit of mine either. Luckily for me, my own child could pick up complex tasks with little help. I didn’t need to do much in the way of raising him, whether I wanted to or not. Yama was different. He was intelligent, certainly, but he was raised far from the real world. And yet, his exposure to reality came in the form of too much too quickly. All at once, he was both naïve and too experienced.

In comparison, I did not believe feeling my heartbeat during sex was all that terrible. Then again, I had not been a virgin in ages.

Once clean and dressed, I skimmed the dark halls in search of him, but the ship appeared empty. Most of the crew were assisting the Karyū, helping the injured and loading it with our spare supplies. Perhaps Yama went to help as well.

Taking the stairs two at a time, I made my way out into the salty air. The waves churned beneath us, and the wind smacked my hair into my face. Stars appeared in fragmented clusters above, hidden by dark clouds. Zero would need to pull out soon. This storm would be an ugly one.

I blinked at the sound of Tetsuro’s voice, unsure if I wanted to understand the reason behind his words. “So you’ve never masturbated?” he asked.

My eye turned without my permission, and there was Yama, blushing under a pile of boys. It appeared they’d trapped him against the railing. Meowdar was seated in his lap, Tetsuro sidled up against one shoulder, and Tadashi napping against the other.

It would have been a cute scene if not for their discussion. Yama looked like he wanted to curl up and die. “I-I wouldn’t say I never, but- Well, the church frowned on that sort of thing. It’s just not really… Can we talk about something else?”

Meowdar reached back and patted Yama’s cheek with a smile. “Such things are not a necessity. Some people do not even like sex, and that is fine. But if you would like any assistance, we can help you-“

I cleared my throat as I approached, certain I did not want to know where this was going. Though the other boys remained unchanged, Yama’s eyes darted to me in his usual startled animal fashion. I might as well have set off an explosion in front of him for the way he looked at me, but his gaze flashed away as quickly as it came.

“Hey, Captain,” Tetsuro said with a wave. “We took over coddling Yama for you like you said.”

“I don’t recall saying that.” Whatever I said, it did not include the word coddling. Regardless, I would have preferred the coddling remain limited to Tadashi. “Are you certain you’re not harassing him?” I asked.

“I’m fine,” Yama muttered, rubbing at the blush across his cheeks. “This has all been very…informative.”

Before I could ask, Meowdar explained precisely what I feared. “We educated him on the natures of sex. That church taught him many wrong things, and he only knew of sex between one male and one female. I hope we covered all the bases for him.”

I had a feeling Tadashi fell asleep after drawing our baths, leaving his younger companions to make poor decisions while he was unaware. One of the drawbacks of him being a half-breed was his near-narcoleptic sleep patterns, but perhaps it was for the best. While Tetsuro and Meowdar seemed fine explaining away sex to Yama, I doubted I could form coherent sentences in a similar attempt. It felt as though there was a deep line carved between the act and the explanation, especially when it came to someone as naïve as Yama.

Though I wasn’t sure I approved, I couldn’t scold them for being informative. “I appreciate it, but you should go help the Karyū with final preparations. They must leave soon.”

Tetsuro jumped up with a “Yes, sir!” Meowdar only followed because of Tetsuro’s hand latched onto his collar. As Tetsuro tugged Meowdar away, they bickered about leaving Tadashi behind. They were as clingy as burrs and always liked to roam in packs. But for a rare moment, I had my boys to myself.

“Should I go too?” Yama asked, his voice strained.

“Only if you want to.” I strode to his side where Tadashi rested and eased my arms under the small, sleeping form. I was met with a soft growl, like rousing a baby bear, but he remained a ragdoll as I took his place at Yama’s side.

Yama still appeared tense, keeping his gaze away from me, but he made no attempt to move. I settled Tadashi in my lap, his head against my chest. “Not a baby, dad,” he mumbled. I would have been met with more of a backlash had he been fully awake, but he was too tired to care for the moment. His breathing evened out almost instantly.

“The Karyū will need to leave before sunrise,” I told Yama. “There will be a bad storm tonight.”

Yama nodded, eyes locked on his hands in his lap.

“I do apologize for what you had to see. Perhaps I should have warned you.” It was a struggle to keep my words from bouncing with a laugh. “And the heartbeat, well, I should have been more mindful of that also.”

“I can’t believe you and Zero had sex,” he hissed. His pulse began to pound in my chest. “That’s terrible. You can’t do that!” His eyes snapped to me, glaring. “You’re not married! You can’t have sex until you’re married!”

I nodded, my lips pressed together to fight back a smile. Yama was certainly naïve, but he always managed to surprise me. “And who do you propose should marry us?” I asked. “The church?”

“Maybe you should have thought of that before you became a vampire,” he grumbled.

“Perhaps. But like you, I didn’t have much time to think before I was turned. Still, marriage was never much of a concern of mine.”

He didn’t respond, watching the crews of both ships mill across the Karyū’s deck. We lapsed into silence as I watched them as well. I hadn’t made many human friends during my stay in Zero’s city. It was for the best that we didn’t. After a decade or two, they began to question our lack of aging. But I did recognize some of the humans attempting to help on Zero’s ship. It was easy to tell them apart by the way they squinted in the lack of light. Some allowed a vampire to take them by the hand and lead them around. I’d never seen so many humans and vampires getting along in such a way.

After another harsh gust of wind helped dry my hair, Yama spoke up over the waves. “I want to help, but I’m scared to,” he said.

“Because you’re a newblood? You’ve fed recently, so you wouldn’t accidentally bring harm to anyone.”

“No,” he sighed. “I know so many of them, and they know me and Ezra. It’s cowardly of me, but I can’t stand to face them after all that’s happened.”

Yes, it was cowardly, and it was cowardly for me to not want him over there either. If those people did know him as Ezra’s brother, I didn’t want them forcing any blame on him. He already did that enough himself.

Even so, I would tell him otherwise as many times as I needed to. “Yama, I know it is difficult for you to believe, but what happened isn’t your fault. I’m more at fault than you ever could be. If you’d like to stay here, however, that is fine. I don’t mind your company.”

He answered with a small huff but made no move to leave. As preparations wrapped up on the Karyū, Zero crossed the connecting planks between the ships. He looked just as upset to see me as always. “Harlock,” he said as he neared. “We’ll be leaving shortly. There’s quite a storm coming, so this little boat of yours had better be as sturdy as you say.”

He was lucky my arms were full. “Don’t go insulting my ship. Tochiro built her, so she’ll be fine. You sure you’ll be alright without your arm?”

Yama looked startled by my question, but Zero shrugged. “I’ve got another.”

“Think you’ll return to your ship after you find a place for those people to settle?” I asked. “I miss you failing miserably in your attempts to stop my pirating ways.”

Zero’s hardened expression broke with a smirk. “We’ll see. I may decide to go back to making life hard for pirates, but I have something else I must do for now. Yama.” He turned to my confused newblood. “You’re welcome to join us if you’d like. Unlike Harlock, the people with me aim to settle down in one place.”

Yama shook his head, regret heavy in his eyes. He offered no explanation, but I wondered if he might have gone had it not been for his guilt.

Zero nodded. “Very well, but if you ever need anything of me, you can send a letter my way. As long as my name is on it, it will reach me in time.”

“Is that offer open for me too?” I asked.

“No, you can go die.”

I couldn’t help but smile. “I love you too, Zero.”

Along with his usual unamused glare, he reached down and snatched Tadashi from me. “You and your small friends could come with me as well,” he said as Tadashi roused again.

Finding himself cradled by yet another person, Tadashi’s expression sank to a pout. “We’re not small,” he grumbled. “But someone has to make sure Dad doesn’t do anything too stupid, so I can’t leave for now.”

Zero appeared content with the answer, settling Tadashi down on his feet. “I’ll take my leave then. I’m sure I’ll see you all again someday. I never can seem to get rid of you.”

His presence must have served as a barrier against the storm because when the Karyū left, the rain arrived. It came down first in a few drops then in buckets, crashing onto the deck. The drops were small but sharp against my skin. “I guess I shouldn’t have bothered with that bath,” I said over the downpour.

Yama raised one arm over his head as a makeshift shield against the rain. Rather than leave me there as I stubbornly held my footing, he tugged me the direction of the lower decks. “Come on,” he yelled. “The waves are getting rough. We’ll fall off.”

I looped my arm around his waist and tugged him to my side. The deck was as slick as ice when wet, and I didn’t trust his feet not to slide out from under him. “We won’t fall,” I said. “Let me show you something before we go down.”

“I’m still in my good clothes!” he roared, his hands locked on my arm for stability.

“They’ll dry.”

While the rest of the crew dashed below deck, I dug a handful of gold pieces from my pocket and tossed them into the waves below. Yama looked at me like I’d lost my mind. “Wait,” I said.

One mop of tangled blue hair popped up from the water’s surface, followed by another. They looked like twins, a young boy and girl with sickly pale skin and pointed ears. Yama stared down with his mouth open.

“Greetings,” I called. “This storm looks like it’s going to be a bad one. Would you mind keeping an eye out for rocks and help guide my ship southwest? I can pay you more if you’d like.”

The two nodded. “This will do for today,” the girl said in a voice of silk. They slipped back underwater as the waves began to pick up.

I had to drag Yama a few paces toward the door before he remembered how to use his feet. “Merfolk?” he asked distantly.

“Sirens,” I corrected. “Their songs have no effect on us, so they take compensation in return for controlling storm winds in our favor.”

“Sirens are not real,” he whispered as we ducked below deck.

“But you believe in demons?”

He didn’t respond, tugging out of my grasp instead.

As we peeled ourselves from our soaked clothes, he stayed as far away from me and the desk as possible. Even with the boards as a buffer around us, the rain roared. Thunder crashed like falling trees, and the waves tossed us back and forth like an unfortunate rowboat. I was accustomed to it, and my feet held me steady on instinct. Yama hadn’t found his sea legs yet. He stumbled with each shift, grabbing for the furniture to keep himself from tumbling over. It seemed everything was nailed down but him.

As a particularly loud roll of thunder crackled overhead, he jolted with a yelp. “Are you alright, Yama?” I asked.

“What if we capsize?” he hissed, his eyes wide. I wasn’t certain he’d heard my question. He began pacing the length of the room. “We’ll all drown! This ship is too small for a storm like this!”

He seemed more angry than frightened. As another wave smacked against our side, he staggered my way. I reached out and caught him by his upper arms, momentarily lifting him off the ground to replace his footing. “There’s no reason to fear capsizing,” I said. “No man alive has built a better ship than Tochiro, and even if we were to somehow capsize, the sirens would carry us to the nearest shore. They are much friendlier than their reputation suggests.”

“But don’t they crash ships?” he whispered. He looked like he’d taken a bad blow to the head. It was nostalgic in an odd way. I was equally frightened the first time I experienced a bad storm at sea. Tadashi was the same, curled up in a ball of blankets in the corner of his room.

“They do crash ships, but they tend to stick to ships they don’t like.” Taking Yama by the arm, I led him to the bed. He sat down at my prompting, but his worries were far from quelled.

“How do you know they won’t do that to us?” he demanded. “They could just lead us to some sharp rocks.” With an intelligible grumble, he burrowed under the blankets, tugging them over his head. He did not appear concerned that he was on my side of the bed.

I walked to the other side and took his spot. “Yama.” I patted the part of him I assumed to be his back. “Would you mind if I told you a story?”

“I don’t care,” he said through the muffling wall of blankets.

He’d been so interested in digging my past out of me before, I hoped it might distract him, though he didn’t seem quite as intrigued for the moment. Nevertheless, I looked back over the centuries and began my tale.

“My father was a pirate, you see, one of the earliest of revered pirates and one of the most feared. He helmed the Deathshadow, a remarkable ship. He would send home portions from his plunder through a network of channels to ensure it couldn’t be tracked. Things were far worse then. Disease was rampant, and the city I grew up in was a disgusting place. But the wealth from my father afforded me and my brothers a much higher education than most commoners could ever dream.”

The top of Yama’s head appeared from under the blankets. His wet hair stuck up in all directions, his eyes locked on me. The rest of him was still hidden, but at least I had his attention.

“I learned a great deal in just about every subject – tactics, sciences, history, cartography, mathematics. My father wanted me to be a scholar, to have a respectable life. Unfortunately for him, that high-class life was horribly boring to me. It didn’t help matters when Father died in a blaze of glory. He left a piece of his fortune for me. I stored away most of it and used the rest to go to the sea. I hung around in bars in a port city until I overheard a conversation about the sort of ship I was looking for. And with a bit of smooth talking, I was a pirate. I met Tochiro on that ship as well, and we’ve been stuck together ever since.”

Yama flinched against another crack of thunder but continued staring my way. It seemed he wanted me to continue. I didn’t have much else I wanted to say, but it seemed I had no choice.

“That ship was also where I first met Zero. He was a mercenary hunting pirates, and he was well known for doing his job well. We engaged in a duel, and it was one Hell of a fight. I’d never been so impressed by someone’s swordsmanship. We both earned several scars from that.” I hadn’t felt the smile on my face until it faded then. “But one of the men on my ship shot him in the back. Zero’s men grabbed him and retreated then. I thought he was dead for sure with a wound like that. The next time I saw him, it was like looking at a ghost.”

“Was he turned?” Yama asked.

I nodded. “I’m not sure who his sire was. He’s never been one to say. I imagine it was someone among his crew. He was turned several years before me, so we have more of an age gap than we appear to. After the whole incident against Zero, I decided to leave the crew. Tochiro came with me, and I used another piece of my fortune to buy the supplies and men to build a ship to his specifications.”

“The Arcadia?”

“No, that was the Deathshadow, or Deathshadow II, I suppose.” Another smile rose to my face. “She was a beauty. I was too young to properly helm a ship like that. With the devil’s luck, we managed our way through scrapes for years, but several mercenary ships teamed up against us. I had the highest bounty on my head of any living pirate, and every pirate with a high bounty falls eventually. Tochiro and I were captured and sentenced for execution.“

The roar of the rain swelled. For a moment, it seemed Yama might hide again, his brow furrowed against the sound. Instead, he pushed himself up to my side. Rather than let my arm fall asleep with him pressed against it, I wrapped it around his shoulders, waiting for a protest that didn’t come. “So what happened?” he demanded instead. He did not appear too focused on our position.

“I was executed.”

“Oh, come on,” he sighed.

“No, it’s true,” I chuckled. “At least, it’s almost true.”

“So you were turned then?”

“That’s right, and that’s the end of the story.”

Yama sank back into the blankets, grumbling about how I was a liar, but he remained against my side. Even after the lack of capsizing, he returned to that spot for the second day of the storm. On the third day, I asked him why. He puffed up like a startled cat.

“You smell nice!” The words seemed to tumble from his mouth. “And it’s just really calming, you know. It’s because you’re my sire, and…” He scratched at his face and began to scoot away. “I can stop.”

My arm tugged him back. “No, I’m quite fine with it,” I assured him. It was soothing to have him fall asleep there, a bundle of warmth pressed to me. I started to wonder how long it had been since I’d felt that, but trying to count back the years was too painful.

After another two days, the storm faded. I stopped needing to pay the sirens, and Yama built the gap between us once again. The trip became an uneventful haze of passing days. Tochiro built strange, unnecessary devices, Tadashi became free of bandages, and everyone in the crew took turns teaching Yama how to jump and hit like a proper vampire. Even with training, he had little skill for it. His sense of what was possible often kept his feet firmly planted and his punches weak. He would learn in time.

Just when I thought I might melt into the deck from stagnation, Kei yelled down from her nest. “Land! And ships, of course. Lots of ships.”

Yama leaned out from the railing, watching for the nearing port. The ships came into view first. Kei’s observation was correct. There were a great many in every size and color. Flags with countless crests waved in the moonlight. Behind them was a city covered in pinpricks of light. Of course, the place never truly slept. This was a far cry from the Spanish port. Once close enough, we dropped anchor and settled into the harbor.

Yama scanned the flags across the sky, frowning. “Is it alright that they’re all just flying the pirate flag in the open like that?” he asked. “Won’t they be arrested?” He noticed our flag still flying as well. “Won’t we be arrested?”

The men looked a bit too excited as they lowered the plank to the dock. I hoped they wouldn’t start too much trouble. “There’s safe harbor here, meaning we can’t be arrested so easily,” Tochiro explained. “Things here are a bit outside of the law.”

“Where is here?” Yama asked, frowning.

“You don’t know?” one of the men called with an eager grin. “You’re in Port Royal, kid!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What time period does this take place in? Originally I said 1700s, but that's not possible if they're at Port Royal. It's just one big mystery.


	13. Nemo Saltat Sobrius

None of the men had shaved in days, including Harlock. Somehow, boredom made them lazier, and they all sported a shadow of stubble. “Aren’t you going to shave before we go into port?” I asked Harlock, tugging on one of the brown hairs framing his jawline.

His eye twitched against it. Reaching up, he tugged at my bangs in return. “I will if I feel like it. Are you going to?”

“Very funny,” I drawled, swatting his hand away. My face was as soft and hairless as it had been the day I was born, and that would never change. Now that I was stuck at this age, I had no hope of ever having a need to shave.

By the time I said goodbye to my cat, retrieved my gun, and threw on my coat, the ship had nearly emptied. Only Harlock, Kei, and the men stuck on watch remained. From what I’d heard, Port Royal was not the safest place to leave a ship unoccupied.

Kei stood by the plank, yawning, while Harlock rolled up old scraps of paper and stuffed them in his coat. “Regardless of whether or not I shave,  _we_  are not going into port, at least not together,” he said. “You are going with Kei.”

My brows pinched against my will. I saw no reason why us separating should bother me. I was trapped in an enclosed space with him all the time, so some distance should have been preferable. Still, his loner attitude made my shoulders tense in irritation. “Where are you going?” I asked.

“I need to do some digging and learn who the current pirate lords are. I may run into some unsavory people, so it would be best if you stayed in the better parts of the city with Kei.”

“Better parts,” she snorted. “There are no better parts of Port Royal.” Her hips swayed along to her lazy gait as she strode over and linked her arm with mine. “You’re going to see some things that would make even the most backward priest faint, so be prepared.”

Before I could ask how to prepare for something like that, she dragged me away with more strength than her thin form suggested. I stumbled in my attempts to catch up with her long strides. 

“The captain will likely be getting into some ugly brawls while we’re here,” she said once we were off the ship. “If he doesn’t approve of the pirate lords, he will dethrone them, so it’s best that you stay out of the fray.”

“By himself?” My arm tightened around hers. “Is he going to be alright?”

A smile played at her lips, though I couldn’t imagine what she found funny. “He’s tougher than he looks. There’s no need to worry. While he’s off being an idiot, we’ll have some fun, alright?”

I wasn’t sure I trusted her idea of fun. The shine in her eyes was more mischievous than excited. 

The front of the city was a wall of seedy buildings. Architecture was warped and crowded, like trying to stuff too many people in a small room. My shoes slipped against the street surface because of some mixture of grime. I tried not to think too much about the colorful stains littering the place, splattered along walls. The air reeked of sweat, blood, and alcohol, and every street corner was marked by men or women in far too little clothing, most clutching a bottle of alcohol. They all looked our way with smiles that were too sweet. I tried not to look back.

Though Kei didn’t appear fazed by any of it, the noises coming out of the alleys had my ears burning. I could have unhooked my arm from hers at any time, but I felt comfortable at her side. Something in her eyes made anyone she looked at glance away. Despite her dangerous attitude, she didn’t seem to be leading us down any of the darker streets.

“This place never sleeps,” she said. “There are vampires crawling all over, but the humans here aren’t all unaware. Lots of the bars serve alcohol mixed with blood.” Her fangs shone white as she flashed a grin. “I’d get you a drink, but you’re still too young. I don’t want to deal with you puking.”

“I don’t care about alcohol,” I sighed as my eyes found a bakery ahead of us. “I miss bread more than anything.” I could remember that warm, heavy aroma that hung in the air when it baked, but the bakery smelled rotten, almost sickly sweet. My nose wrinkled against it.

She leaned over, knocking her temple against mine. “Yeah, even when you get old enough to eat without getting nauseous, it never tastes quite like what you remember. But don’t feel too bad. We’ll get you some nice blood. I’ve even heard of places here where humans will pay to be bitten.”

“What!?” A few heads turned our way at my shout. I lowered my voice to a whisper as I continued. “Why would anyone do that?”

“Better than sex.” She clicked her tongue. “It’s like an exotic brothel in a way.”

“People here are insane,” I hissed.

Kei laughed, knocking our heads together again. “I guess I’ll do without some extra pocket change for your sake, but I’m still getting one of those cocktails, and then I’m going to get myself someone pretty to spend the day with after I drop you off.”

I had no choice but to let her drag me toward a two-story hovel, its windows glowing gold with lamplight. She cackled until we reached the swinging doors. My trust in her was fading fast.

Inside, the air was filled with a warm buzz and the slurred songs from drunk men. It was impossible to walk without bumping shoulders with someone, but my quick apologies fell on deaf ears. No one so much as looked my way. 

The crowd created a swelling mass of continuous sound, like the rise and fall of waves on the sea. It was impossible to listen to one conversation mixed in with the dozens of others.

I leaned in close to Kei so she could hear me. “How do you know this bar is alright for vampires?” I asked.

“You can’t smell it?” Her voice neared a yell. “There’s fresh blood in some of the drinks.”

Taking a deep breath made me see stars. She was right. There it was, sweet and warm. It permeated through the air like the smell of fresh bread, but I could smell it on the skin of the humans around us as well. Along with the scent, heat seemed to press down on me. The room felt stifling. There were too many bodies here. I couldn’t breathe.

Now I did feel eyes on me, curious, concerned, inhuman eyes. “Easy there, newbie,” Kei said, her brows drawn. “Your heart’s going crazy. Let’s sit you down for a bit.” She led me to the corner of the room, where the crowd was thinned by people sitting and drinking alone. By some miracle, there was an empty table, and Kei shoved me into a chair.

“Guess this is the first time you’ve been in a crowd with humans,” she sighed. “Didn’t think that one through. Relax right here for a second, and I’ll go get us some drinks.”

As she slipped back into the swarm, I placed my hand across my mouth and breathed through my fingers. The place still felt like a sweltering, humid day, but I could rein in my thoughts again. I listened for bits of conversations, learning pieces of local lives. Some talked about trade, others women, and some seemingly nothing at all. By the time Kei returned, I felt like myself again. 

She set a mug of blood in front of me, dwarfed by the flagon in her hand. “Feeling better?” she asked.

“I’m fine. Sorry about that.” The blood was warm against my lips, sweeter and smoother than anything Monono ever served us. I hoped they weren’t gutting people in the back for it to be so fresh.

“You’re pretty good for a newblood,” Kei said as she took a seat across from me. “You adapt much faster than many I’ve seen. I’m sure it’s hard for you to take in all this after being raised in the church, but you’ve done well. Some people can’t be vampires. It kills them to be turned. They hold off drinking blood until they start to go mad from the lack of it.” She stared off like her mind was far from the bar. Her eyes saw something other than the flickering lanterns.

“What was it like for you?” I asked. “Being turned?”

“Unpleasant,” she huffed before knocking back her drink. She gulped down half its contents without pause and slammed it down against the table. “The captain may not always be the best sire, but he’s far from the worst. There are those who don’t feel like taking care of their newbloods, those bastards.” She glared down her nose at the flagon as though it was the sire who wronged her. Her legs crossed one over the other as she rested her chin against her knuckles.

“The newblood phase is technically the first year after you’re turned, but it lasts until you fit in well with other vampires,” she continued. “Once you know yourself as a vampire and the general rules of our society, the newblood label wears off. I had to remove it long before my first year was up. But I was lucky. Most newbloods don’t survive past their first year. The sun or a hunter claims them because of carelessness.” A smile flickered on her lips as she looked to me. “The captain wouldn’t let that happen to you. He’d sooner give his other eye than see you hurt.”

Though I wanted to ask why, I stopped the question with a sip of blood. It didn’t make any sense, but I felt I knew why. Harlock was Harlock, and he would protect me because he was that sort of man. Maybe I was lucky to have him, though I wasn’t so convinced.

Kei finished her drink before I could halve mine. Over by the drunk choir of sorts, someone began to strum a makeshift string instrument. From there, the singing infected the rest of the patrons. I couldn’t say I’d ever heard the sailor song before, but Kei’s eyes lit up at the tune. Her hand clamped down on my wrist. “You should dance with me,” she said.

“Where?” There was a mass of dancing people, weaving between each other and spinning in circles. I wanted no part of that crowd.

“I’ll keep a hold of you. Come on.” She stood, tugging me that way. “It’ll be fun. We could use some fun.”

I couldn’t argue with her excitement. Taking a deep breath of clearer air, I followed her lead to the crowd. I felt like the Arcadia being tossed about by the storm. It seemed every elbow and body hit me, while Kei dipped and dove around each obstacle. Without warning, she turned on me. Her arm hooked with mine once more, and we began to spin with the rest.

Kei laughed when I stumbled from dizziness, all the while singing the song in a clear pitch that none of those around us could dream of matching. I felt like I could breathe as long as she was there, keeping space between us and the rest. I couldn’t help but let her laughter infect me too. I twirled with her, trying to sing along with snippets of lines. The world became a blur of light and people. I felt drunk off it, and Kei may have actually been drunk.

Perhaps that was why she spun around and punched a man in the jaw. I froze in place, a dancer bumping into my back. “Kei?” I called. The people around us paused and looked our way.

She cracked her knuckles, eyes wild as she looked down at the dazed man. “You think you’re going to get away with touching me without my permission?” she hissed. “Think I won’t notice?”

The music stopped. The crowd stood frozen around us. Everyone was watching.

With sweat collecting across my back, I tried to tug Kei away. The man attempted to stutter his innocence, but she didn’t appear to notice either of us. She grabbed the front of his shirt, picked him up, and threw him down on the nearest table.

I wasn’t sure what I expected, but a cheer was not it. The crowd erupted in yells like they were watching a match between professional fighters. A man braver and more foolish than me attempted to step between Kei and her target. She decked him as well. As he stormed back toward her with fire in his eyes, another woman jumped in and punched him. I didn’t know what was happening, but I knew I wanted no part in it.

By the time I turned around, it seemed the whole bar had joined the fight. My only choice was to duck down and crawl between their legs. I squeezed my way between brawlers, with my hands clenched in fists so no feet found my fingers. A half-dozen people tripped over me, but none pulled me into the fray. I popped out on the edge of the room, my hair sticking up in every direction. Jumping to my feet, I brushed it back down.

Someone ahead of me breathed a laugh. “That girl can fight,” he said. “I bet she can take out the lot of them.”

Between my bangs, I found Harlock seated in the corner table. He lounged in the chair, a flagon to his lips. Before he could finish downing it, I rushed forward and grabbed him by the arm. “We should really leave,” I said.

He blinked, looking from me to my grip on him. “We should?”

Despite my attempts to tug him from his seat, he remained stuck there. “I don’t know about you, but I’m not going to break up that fight, and I just want to go somewhere without all these people.”

He stared at me with one brow raised, but a smile eased across his lips. “If that’s what you want, I guess I can’t say no.”

What I wanted had never stopped him before, but I wouldn’t argue. He stood and followed me to the door, the brawl still raging behind us. It was muffled as we stepped out into the night. The outside felt like a different world. Everything was a cool, deep blue from the moonlight, and the heat surrounding me dissipated. The weight in my chest vanished.

Unsure where else to go, I started back the way we came. I was sick of being on the ship, but I needed to get away from that bar. There was nothing but trouble there. Harlock trailed along behind me until a few men standing on a corner yelled a few unrepeatable things about parts of my body.

With my back stiff and my face burning, Harlock draped his arm over my shoulders. “Enough of your catcalling,” he said. His eye was like fire as he stared them down. “This one’s with me.”

They all skittered off like roaches down the street. Harlock’s arm remained around me as he pulled us back into a stroll. I would have told him that was enough, but he spoke first. “There’s a nice inn up ahead. The blankets are clean and everything. We can stay there.” He flashed the sort of easy smile I’d only seen a few times before.

“Are you drunk?” I asked.

In an answer that could only be a yes, he barked a laugh. I couldn’t say I was surprised. Reaching up, I once again tugged at one of the hairs on his chin. They seemed even longer than I remembered. “You should have shaved. You could at least pass as sober better with a clean face.”

He rubbed at his jaw with a frown. “Hey, I think I look pretty good with facial hair. So is that a no to the inn or…?”

“I guess an inn sounds good,” I sighed. Hopefully we could have separate beds, though with how his side was pressed to mine, I would likely have to remind him. “I’m tired of the ship, so it will be nice to sleep somewhere else. When are we leaving?”

His brow furrowed. “I was hoping we would leave after breakfast. I’m not one to rush things, but it’s up to you, I suppose.”

I felt myself looking at him the same way he looked at me. He must have been very drunk to think I had any say on our docking schedule. “Well, I didn’t know if you’d already found those pirate lords. You don’t look like you’ve been in any fights, and I thought that was why we came here.”

He stopped in his tracks, halting me alongside him. His eye widened with recognition.

“What is it?” I asked.

The arm around my shoulders slid in closer to my neck, until his hand rested over my heart. “Ah,” he said as a grin overtook his expression. “Of course. Pretty boys like you don’t just start hitting on me. I should have known better.”

“I did not hit on you!” I spluttered.

He laughed again before taking my hand in his own. Raising it to his lips, he placed a soft kiss to my knuckles. My face burned. My heart pounded, but then, so did his.

At least, there was a second heart beating furiously in my chest, but it was not that of the man in front of me. I could feel his heartbeat through his hand, slow and steady. This man was not Harlock.

Just as I jerked my hand free of his grasp, another form slammed into him, stealing him from my sight. I turned as though someone was forcing my head that way, and there was Harlock, holding his double down against the street. Harlock’s clothes were a mess of tears, blood seeping out from open wounds. His busted lip was curled into a snarl, but he had shaved. “What the Hell were you doing with Yama!?” he roared.

His double smiled once again, though his eye swam with worry. “Unfortunately, I didn’t get to do anything.”

Harlock jerked the man up by his collar, until their noses almost touched. “Don’t you dare joke with me. And don’t touch my newblood.”

The man showed no fear. Reaching up, he brushed his thumb against a cut on Harlock’s cheek. “What did you do to yourself?”

Harlock flinched away. “I just settled a few things. It’s of no concern to you.”

“You’re always a concern of mine,” his double sighed. “Come on, Phantom, let’s go get you cleaned up. There’s no need for us to fight in front of your newblood.”

When Harlock looked my way, the fire in his eye faded. He picked himself up off his double and walked to me. A limp dragged at one leg. “Are you alright?” he asked. It might have been the dumbest question I’d ever heard.

“I’m fine, but what about you?” I demanded. “And who is this!?” I threw my hand up toward his double, who flashed another smile as he dusted himself off.

“I’m Phantom Harlock the first,” he answered with a sweeping bow. “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Yama. I’m Phantom’s father and sire.” Despite the disgust on Harlock’s face, his father couldn’t have looked prouder.

“Your father is dead,” I told Harlock. “You said he died.”

“He did die,” Harlock grumbled. “And I was executed.”

I should have known better than to believe his story. I could have told him off for lying, but I had to have some pity on him when he was covered in injuries. Instead, I took in the two men with fresh eyes as Harlock’s father stepped up to his side.

The two looked near-identical, down to their ages and the scars across their cheeks. But with them side by side, it was easier to see slight differences. Harlock Sr.’s hair was neater and cut a bit shorter. His nose was rounder, his jaw softer. He had more smile lines too.

“You’re telling people I died now?” he huffed. “That wounds me, son.”

Harlock didn’t answer. He didn’t bother acknowledging his father’s existence. Harlock Sr. was not deterred, sidling up to his son. “So this newblood of yours, is he a new son-in-law for me yet?”

“No,” Harlock snapped.

“Does that mean I can-”

“No!”

If nothing else, it was nice to know my family wasn’t the only unstable one.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For anyone unaware, I did not make up the Dadlock character. He is referred to as Great Harlock and is supposed to have a full-on beard that looks like something that an embarrassing dad might have. I trimmed it down a bit for various reasons.


	14. Obscuris Vera Involvens

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Who's pumped for a whole chapter of talking? Hell yeah, hell yeah.

I couldn’t say if it was purposeful, but Harlock’s arm draped across my shoulders just as his father’s had. Rather than street creeps, Harlock tugged me to his side to protect me from his twin. It seemed to me the elder Harlock was harmless, perhaps even more reasonable than his son. I saw no reason for my sire to treat him like a threat.

That may have been my senses lying to me again. Harlock and his father smelled almost the same, that soothing scent that made me want to take deep, slow breaths. Though the elder smelled a bit more of wine, I felt calmed around both of them, like being lulled to sleep with a song.

That was offset by Harlock’s heart still pounding in echo to my own. He seemed a ball of rage and nerves, a startled snake prepared to strike back at any moment.

Yet every reaction Harlock made toward his father was more and more perplexing. Despite grumbling, Harlock agreed to swing by a bar with blood, if only to mend his wounds.

“I’d offer to give you my blood instead,” his father said with a smile, “but I imagine you’d prefer your newblood’s.”

“The bar will do,” Harlock growled. “I don’t  _use_  Yama.”

His father’s brows rose. “I never suggested such a thing.”

Tension swam in like smog, Harlock’s muscles taught in preparation to spring. Curling my fingers into the hem of his coat, I tugged him away. He didn’t seem to be thinking straight, either from his wounds or the irritating presence of his sire. If the two broke into a fight, I knew there was no chance I could pry them apart. “Let’s go get you cleaned up,” I mumbled, hoping to keep him calm.

My patience won out as his shoulders sagged. With the damage to his clothes and sickly pale tone of his skin, he looked as though he’d been dragged through Hell. His father’s concerned gaze remained locked on him, though Harlock refused to acknowledge him in return. The older man’s eye flickered from me to the still-clamoring bar as it came into view.

“I know a quieter place,” he said. “I’d rather not walk back into that brawl at the moment. I’ll lead the way.”

“Brawl?” Harlock echoed. As his father turned down the next street, Harlock drifted after him as though sleepwalking.

“Kei got into a bit of a scuffle,” I explained. Harlock frowned, grumbling about how she was supposed to look after me as his father spoke up.

“Looks like she wasn’t the only one, hm?” He tossed a curious glance back over his shoulder. “Whom did you challenge this time, Phantom? Or did you earn yourself more than one Piece of Eight?”

Harlock’s voice was as soft and cold as death. “Just one for now. I wouldn’t have needed to if you’d bothered regulating the other lords. Faust, of all people – I can’t imagine the harm he’s caused, and you just let him.”

“I’d imagine he won’t be doing much of anything now then?” The elder breathed a sigh. “If I had killed him, the lord who would have taken his place would have been just as troublesome. I don’t know why you expect anything else from most pirates, Phantom. Pirates like you and I are a rare breed. Promethium still has one of the Pieces, as always. Are you going to go after her life as well? She is far worse than Faust.”

Harlock’s lips pressed into a tight line. He seemed determined to fold me against him as the pressure on my shoulder increased. “She is a special case. Emeraldas will take care of her in due time. I have no place in such a fight.”

I didn’t care what they were talking about, honestly. But it was irritating to be left out of the conversation, and my brow furrowed as they continued. It seemed like they had forgotten I was being dragged along by them.

“As long as most of the Pieces remain in good care, I can’t say I have much to complain about,” his father said. “They’re merely symbols. They mean nothing in the end. They only have the power we give them. Even so, it is nice to have you as another one of my fellow lords.” He spun on his heel, reaching out toward Harlock as though offering him a dance. “It’s been too long.”

Harlock halted us too far away to accept the offer. “What do you consider ‘good care’, precisely? Gido still has a piece, does he not?”

Harlock spat the name like it was poison. Gido - the sound of it brought a man to mind. I couldn’t recall where or why I’d seen him. I only remembered a smile, curled with madness, and the overwhelming scent of blood.

It seemed Harlock’s father held nothing but unpleasant memories of the man as well. His eye hollowed, fear and misery overtaking him. He seemed to lose himself, but he allowed it only a moment. “You’ve hurt yourself enough tonight, son,” he breathed, turning toward a cracked door. “Come on. This is the bar. Let’s get you healed up. It might help you cool off.”

“Who’s Gido?” I asked, but Harlock shook his head, tugging me through the door after his father. The place didn’t look much like a bar on the outside. In fact, it had no markings indicating it was anything. The inside was dim, tinged sweetly with the scent of blood. It was the smallest bar I’d ever seen, a thin strip of a room with enough seats for a dozen. Harlock’s father led us to the corner. A flick of his fingers signaled the silent bartender, and the seemingly-young woman nodded his way in return.

The table had benches rather than proper chairs, giving Harlock an excuse to keep me pinned at his side. His father sat across from us, a soft sigh breathed through his nose. “Faust had a large number of devoted followers. I hope you’re prepared to see some backlash.”

Harlock nodded. “My crew is well-equipped to handle anything they could throw at us. They don’t scare me.”

“And this one?” His father swept a hand over me. “He doesn’t seem like one of your usual crew, all eager to start trouble.”

“I will protect him if the need arises. He is still learning the ropes of his own strength, and he has more talent with a gun than you might believe.”

I considered reminding them that I was right next to them. They didn’t need to speak of me as though I wasn’t, as though I couldn’t speak for myself. But his father’s next question weakened my interest in doing so.

“Where did you pick him up? I thought you weren’t going to sire any more newbloods.”

Harlock remained silent as the bartender set three goblets of blood in front of us. Even when she slipped away, he merely took a deep draw from his cup. Neither of them appeared willing to break the silence, the elder Harlock waiting for an answer.

“He had to turn me, I guess,” I muttered. With my taste for blood satiated, I pushed my goblet toward Harlock with the tips of my fingers. “I would have died otherwise.”

“You don’t sound too happy about it,” his father hummed, frowning. His eye followed my cup across the table. “You don’t abstain yourself from blood, do you?”

“No, I had some at the other bar before,” I said, but his gaze locked on his son, sharp with an unspoken scolding. Harlock did not hesitate answer the challenge. “I’m fine,” I added, hoping to ease their warring glares.

It seemed to work, their eyes averting. The tension dissipated like a wave smoothing out sand. “I am the reason he was almost killed,” Harlock said, his tone soft but otherwise unreadable. “I needed to take responsibility.”

“So just like the last one?” his sire whispered. “You never change, Phantom.”

My heart ached against the melancholy in his eye, matched by the sharp pain in Harlock’s. It made me miss their anger. At least I could make sense of that.

“I won’t let anything happen to Yama,” Harlock said. “I’ve learned since then. Things will be different this time.”

His father nodded, a gentle smile on his lips. I wanted to ask so many questions my head swam with them. I wanted to know their past, deserved to know. Harlock owed me that much, not just the half-truths he used as bedtime stories. I deserved to know what happened to those who came before me and why my life was in danger. I didn’t care how selfish it sounded. I had the right to be selfish.

But I couldn’t bring myself to break the silence between them. As Harlock’s wounds sealed, he relaxed at my side. I couldn’t risk worsening the mood now that he didn’t seem to want his father dead.

His father, apparently, had no such thoughts.

“More importantly, how is my grandson?” he asked, his eye shining with pride. “Is he here? I haven’t seen him in ages. How much has he grown?”

“Tadashi is fine,” Harlock muttered. “I’m taking good care of him. He’s very happy without your meddling. He found himself a boy and a…cat.”

“So he is here?” A grin stretched the man’s familial scar. “I’ll have to go see him and this ‘boy’ of his. I just ran into your brother a few months ago, and I’m dying to see if little Mamoru has outgrown Monono.”

Harlock hissed something at his father, but I felt too dazed to understand, as though I’d just taken a blow to the head. “His…brother?” I echoed over Harlock’s spitting.

His scolding came to a halt, and he froze at my side, tense as a man in confession. His father blinked between the two of us. “Have you told this boy anything about yourself?” he scoffed.

Harlock took an interest in the wooden planks of the tavern wall, a soft growl rumbling in his chest. “It wasn’t important,” he said at length. I’d expected nothing less of him.

For the first time, Harlock Sr. looked like he could be a father. His arms were crossed, brows raised in disapproval as Harlock fit perfectly in the role of a petulant teenager. “Then you shouldn’t mind me telling Yama about him,” his father said.

Apparently, Harlock did mind, choosing to speak instead. “I have an elder brother,” he huffed. “His name is Wataru, and he doesn’t exactly approve of the family business.”

“Being a vampire?” I asked. That seemed to be a popular theme in Harlock’s family.

His father barked a laugh, drawing a few stares from the other patrons. Even Harlock struggled to hide a smile. “Piracy, Yama,” he corrected. “Wataru tends to work on the side of law and order, so he and I have butt heads since we were children. I love him dearly, but each time we run into each other, the outcome tends to be poor. We try not to cross paths without warning.”

At this point, it was difficult to imagine a Harlock who wasn’t a troublemaking pirate. This Wataru certainly had his work cut out for him if his goal was to correct his family’s behavior.

“But he’s a vampire too, right?” I asked. Trying to picture him only brought Zero to mind.

They nodded. It was no wonder they were so dysfunctional.

“So you are just a whole family of oldbloods,” I murmured.

I tried to ignore it, the twisting in my gut. Jealous. I was jealous of them, foolishly so. They had each other forever, with no need to fear the others growing old or dying. Even if they didn’t get along well, they had the reassurance of family always being there. If Ezra was lucky, he would grow old and die. If not, a vampire might kill him for the great numbers of us he’d murdered. The thought of him immortal gave me a sick sense of relief. I could protect him by selling his soul, by making him a demon.

I wondered if Harlock’s father thought the same when turning his son, perhaps both of them.

Giving others immortality was selfish, not generous.  

Lost in my own thoughts, I hadn’t noticed the other two staring off into their pasts as well. Their eyes were clouded with conflict. With a soft sigh, the elder chose a side in whatever war his thoughts waged, but it was an uncertain victory, his expression twisted with worry. “Not long ago, someone tried to kill me,” he began. “It was nothing I couldn’t handle, a simple assassin in a hooded cloak.”

Harlock’s eye widened, his chin jerking up at the full attention of his sire. “The assassin tried to run, even tried to douse me in holy water when I gave chase, but I managed to catch them.”

I felt myself leaning in despite Harlock’s hand crushing my shoulder. This all sounded too familiar.

“When Wataru visited, he told me a similar story, but he said he didn’t manage to see the assassin’s face. They ran off when their attempt to kill him was unsuccessful. So I made sure to nab them, and as soon as I got that hood off, staring me down were those deep blue eyes, like the sea on a calm day. Then they blinked, and they had green eyes, as though I’d imagined the whole thing. They didn’t know who I was or where they were. They didn’t understand what was happening.”

“His hypnotism is beyond anything I’ve ever heard of,” Harlock said, half to himself. “Even if he was nearby pulling the strings, if you didn’t detect him, he could have been controlling his puppet from miles away.”

His father nodded. “Wataru… Wataru knows where he is. He won’t tell me where, but he knows.”

“Who are we talking about?” I asked.

Neither seemed to hear me. “You don’t think Wataru is planning to go after him, do you?” Harlock’s heart stuttered against mine, his eye wild with panic.

“I can’t say,” his father muttered. “If he is making that risk, he will go alone. He won’t chance any harm coming to his family.”

Harlock smashed his fist against the tabletop with a snarl. “I’ll have to find him before he makes any foolish decisions. Where is he?”

“Phantom.” His father’s hand was a patchwork quilt of burns, threaded together by scars. He placed it over the clean skin of his son’s hand, his voice little more than a breath. “I know you believe this is your fight alone, and that is almost certainly why Wataru would want to go in your place. But please know that it is not simply your cross to bear. Let us  _help_ , son.”

“No.” There was no malice in Harlock’s voice, no sharp order, only the finality of truth. “I can’t let him hurt anyone else I love. I will do this on my own. If anything happens to me, I trust you to take care of the Arcadia and my crew for me.”

“Excuse you,” I snapped. If his cringe was any indication, my elbow in his ribs was finally enough to remind him I was there. “You can’t die. If I lose you, then who…?” My throat constricted against me. “Who do I have left?” I choked. He was supposed to show me the world. He was supposed to make me want to live like this. I couldn’t say I wanted to die, but without him, I had no one to tell me to keep living, no one whose heart would beat with mine. I would have no one whose mere presence was enough to calm my fears during a storm.

“See?” his father said, reaching over to press his hand over my heart. It must have been out of rhythm. “Leaving behind those you love is not so simple, Phantom. I did the same to you when you were small because I thought it was for the best, but I ended up doing more harm to you than good.” He released me, sitting back. “And don’t forget, the first rule of being a sire is to never leave your newblood alone.”

Harlock’s fingers laced through my hair along with his sigh as he pressed a kiss to my temple. My face burned, hot tears of frustrations blurring my vision. I couldn’t believe I was crying over him, and in public no-less. Dear God, I had lost my mind.

“Yama,” he whispered, so close to my ear I had to suppress a shudder. “I can’t risk him hurting you. I have to keep you safe, but I do still need to show you the world, don’t I?”

“There must be some way we can just avoid this man, right?” My voice trembled. “His sins will be his own downfall eventually.”

God would see to it that this demon received his comeuppance. And then, like him, someday God would punish us. No matter how much I begged for forgiveness, I couldn’t stop being a demon. I couldn’t stop stealing the lifeblood of others in order to live. In the end, someone else needed to suffer for me to exist. I was a monster, and so was Harlock, a monster so warm and comforting as he held me at his side. We were devils, leeches, nothing more. But since I was already sinning against my own will, I saw no reason not to relax against him. What was one more little sin on top of so many others? I was destined for Hell either way.

“No one needs to die,” I breathed.

I felt Harlock’s lips ease into a smile against the edge of my ear, possibly the same weary smile his father wore. “Ah, my little church boy,” Harlock said. “I do hope you never change. But perhaps you are right. There may be miracles left in this world. Things may work out in our favor.”

“The sun will be up soon,” his father said. “You should return to your ship unless you feel like taking one of the rooms upstairs.”

Harlock pulled far enough away for me to realize how close he’d been, how warm his breath was against my skin. Mercifully, he allowed me to scoot away and collect my thoughts, one hand slapped across my burning face.

“You still haven’t told me where Wataru is,” Harlock said. I was quite content with them ignoring me now.

His father grinned. “And here I thought you didn’t like me or your brother. Well, if you’re spending the night here, we do have a great deal of catching up to do.”

“Things are never easy with you,” Harlock sighed. “Do you even know where he is?”

“I suppose the only way for you to find out is to stick around for a while.” He smiled like a snake oil salesman. It made me wonder what Harlock might look like with a genuine smile on his face, another thought I reined in before my reddening ears could give me away. Thinking too much about him made my head feel muddled, so I allowed myself to stop thinking altogether. I focused only on the slow rise and fall of conversation between the two men, the way their deep voices rolled through my head.

They spoke of unfamiliar people and places, of the mechanics of ships, the way things had changed, and sometimes nothing at all. After a while, I couldn’t concentrate enough to follow a single sentence. Their voices became blurs of sound in my head. A dull throbbing began to beat at me from the base of my skull.

At some point, my cheek found the cool wooden tabletop. Someone brushed their fingers through my hair, feeling too nice to be bothersome.

“He’s never been awake this long with the sun up,” one of them said. “It must be getting to him.”

“Ah, I’d forgotten about that. Newbloods are sensitive little things. I’ll get a room set up for him.”

One of them began to hum, while their fingers continued curling around strands of my hair. The song must have been a lullaby, soothing and sweet. I hoped I could recall the tune when I woke. It continued as I dipped in and out of a doze, roused by its owner scooping me up in a carry. Then I could feel it against my ear, vibrating through his chest. I nestled myself closer to the warmth and the sound, letting myself slip into the deep pool of sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've always been fond of the (impossible) idea that Wataru and Harlock are related and- Oh, if you don't know, Wataru Yuuki is from Galaxy Railways. If you go look him up, you'll see where I'm getting this idea.


	15. Pede Poena Claudo

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Exposition time~ *jazz hands*

I woke to one of those rare mornings – er, evenings – where waking up felt like the right thing to do. My eyes didn’t sting with exhaustion; instead, I was warm and content. I could have gotten up, but lying there felt perfect. The blankets were soft, the room was cool, and I…

I was pressed to Harlock’s back.

I shot up in bed, shoving him away in the process. He gave no indication that he’d noticed until he rolled off the bed and slammed into the floorboards. A pained wheeze left him, followed by silence. Unsure what to do, I sat there, staring at where he’d been. He’d slept right at the edge of the bed, an expanse of empty space at my back. Judging by appearances, I’d been the one to push us so far over, but that couldn’t be right.

Harlock reappeared, grasping the blankets to pull himself back up. “Good morning, Yama,” he muttered. I guessed he’d never shaken the greeting either.

His hair was messier than usual, strands flipped skyward on one side, while the rest frayed out as though caught by static. And though I couldn’t see the strap of his eyepatch, enough of his hair fell to cover whatever was left of his right eye. His brows rose as he noticed me trying to catch a glimpse of it, and I shot my gaze away.

“Sorry,” I said, tugging at my bangs. “Didn’t mean to knock you off.”

He heaved a breath through his nose. “This is why I always made sure to wake before you.”

I blinked as I tried to recall ever waking up with him in the bed, but he was right. I always wound up alone. “But I don’t usually…get so close.” I refused to let it be a question, refused to let that be an option.

The only change to his features was one, slow blink, until he spoke. “You’ve butted up against me at some point every night since you were feral,” he said.

“Ah.”

I couldn’t muster more than that. Heat rose to my cheeks as I crawled backward off the bed to make room for him. Pulling himself back up, he returned to his spot and dragged the blankets over himself. “I’ll be up soon,” he grumbled. “You can go downstairs, but don’t leave. Stay out of trouble.”

Downstairs? Clearly, we weren’t back on the ship. I’d known that from the moment I breathed in the foreign scent of the place. Saltwater didn’t coat the air, and the floorboards didn’t creak from constant rocking. Besides that, the room was too well-furnished, the bed too comfortable – Harlock had nothing to do with it. There were no windows, of course, just one door. After tugging on my boots and straightening my hair and clothes as best I could, I poked my head out.

An empty hall stretched in both directions, doors dotting either side. A stairway turned a corner at one end. With nowhere else to go, it seemed that was my destination. Each step gave a different sound of protest under my feet, making every eye in the bar below turn my way as I descended. It was the same bar as the night before, though all the patrons had switched out for new stragglers. Just as their gazes took me in, the strangers looked away without interest. They returned to conversations or drinks, most of which appeared to be blood. Only one eye remained, a smile on its owner’s face.

“Morning,” Harlock’s father greeted with an improper two-finger salute. “How’d you sleep?”

I would have preferred he waited until I reached him instead of calling across the bar. Yelling a response would have just drawn more stares again, so I hopped down the last few steps and hurried to his side before he could worsen the situation.

He sat with his back to the bar, his elbow holding him up on it. One slender leg crossed over the other, and a glass of wine rested on his fingers. I wondered if that was how he usually sat or if he was just trying to look impressive. It wasn’t working.

“Morning,” I mumbled as I hopped onto the seat at his side. “I slept fine. You?”

His smile widened despite my delayed response. “I would have slept better if Phantom let me stay in a room with you two.” He heaved a sigh. “My newbloods hardly let me near them after they got out of the feral stage. But it’s nice to see that Phantom has you to keep him company.”

“I didn’t get a choice. There weren’t any other beds left on the ship, and no one asked me if I wanted my own room here.”

His shoulders shook with a laugh. “Still, I appreciate what you’ve done for him. Phantom’s never been the sort to admit when he’s lonely or upset, but it’s easy to see how much happier he is around you.”

My nose scrunched as I tried to decide what to make of that. I couldn’t tell if he was playing with me or not. If this was Harlock happy, he must have truly been a demon when upset.

“I guess he’s still sleeping then,” his father continued when I didn’t speak. “I kept him up for hours playing catch-up, so it’s no wonder.”

Recalling last night’s conversation, I jolted upright as though one of the nuns had gotten onto my posture. “Did you tell him?”

He took a sip of his wine, one brow raised. “Tell him what?”

“Where his brother is.”

“Ah, right.” His gaze wandered toward the ceiling as he scratched through his beard. “I told him what I know. What he does now is up to him, but I hope he won’t do anything too foolish.” Worry clouded his eye. “He’s always been a stubborn boy.”

I found myself fiddling with my hands in my lap as I debated pressing him for more answers. Trying to ask others about Harlock hadn’t gone well in the past, but his father would know more than any of them, and he had quite a mouth on him.

“Um, Mr. Harlock, sir,” I began.

His eye widened, and he looked at me as though I’d slapped him. “Oh my stars,” he said as he broke out in another laugh. “You don’t have to be so formal with me. Ah, but I suppose calling me Harlock or Phantom would be confusing. You’ll just have to call me Vati.”

Hardly a normal nickname if I’d ever heard one, but he didn’t offer an explanation, so I decided not to ask. “Right. Vati, can you tell me about this man Harlock’s chasing?”

His smile faded, and something like panic flashed through his eye. He lost the will to hold my gaze. “I… Why don’t we… I know!” A false smile replaced the old one. “I haven’t gotten to tell you much about myself. That’s not fair after all the questions I asked last night.”

Even Harlock didn’t dodge questions so blatantly. “Alright,” I said, the word slow as honey on my lips. I wasn’t going to argue if it bothered him so much.

“Settle in because this story is my life’s work, quite literally.” He didn’t seem bothered that the other patrons could hear him, but none of them appeared to pay him any mind anyway. He spoke like a performer on stage, his hand drifting along to the ups and downs.

“I’ve always been a pirate, you see.” The shine returned to his eye. “But back when I was human – oh, that was ages ago – I’d go home to visit my boys every chance I got. They were little things back then, Wataru and Phantom. Still liked me then too,” he chuckled. “Other than their ages, they were identical. Their mother died young. The world’s a cruel place like that, leaving my boys alone when I was off at sea. By some miracle, I found another woman who would put up with me for short periods. We didn’t get along well all the time, but she loved my boys and took care of them better than I ever could.”

As he continued, his voice softened. “Ah, but then I was turned, and I was too scared to go home. I was terrified I’d hurt my boys because of what I was, as if being a pirate hadn’t caused them enough trouble.” He shook his head as though scolding himself. “So I faked my death and sent them every last bit of wealth I’d earned. I made a new name for myself and stayed as far from them as possible. I don’t blame either of them for hating me. I was a terrible father.”

He took a deep draw from his glass, emptying it. After he set it back on the bar behind me, his hand appeared at the back of my neck. He continued on before I could argue, so I was forced to let him play with my hair.

“I had all these dreams of my boys becoming scholars or artists,” he sighed. “But I suppose it was only natural that Phantom became a pirate. I found that out when I saw his wanted poster for the first time. At first, I thought it was my wanted poster, but it had my name on it – my real name. My boy even had my scar; I couldn’t believe it.

“I tried to keep running from him for a while. I dyed my hair black with inks and worked in areas as far from him as possible. I’d hear stories of his feats, how impressive and menacing he was to so many. And while I was proud, I was frightened for him too. He was so fragile – just a human. For a while, though, he seemed invincible. Being a pirate always feels that way for a while. But like every human, death came for him too. He was captured and sentenced to execution.

“I couldn’t just let my little boy die, so I went after him. They held him in a prison the night before they were going to execute him, and I broke in. Found him there half-dead from torture already, covered in dark bruises and open gashes. They’d broken both his legs.”

I could feel him trembling even as he toyed with strands of my hair. “And they ruined his eye,” he whispered. “Oh, it was a gory mess. He was in so much pain that he couldn’t recognize me, so dehydrated he believed me when I told him my blood was water.”

Vati paused, his eye closed as he lost himself to the past. Just as I thought he wouldn’t be able to say anymore, he continued. “From the moment, he regained consciousness from the feral stage, he hated me, but it wasn’t for the reasons I thought he would. I expected the turning to upset him, and it did to some degree. But he feared losing others because of his immortality.”

He scratched his free hand through his hair with an irritable sigh. “He was also upset I’d left his friend Tochiro back at the prison. Luckily, someone else broke him out, or Phantom would probably still hate me for that. But even after he found out his friend was safe, he found something else to be upset about. Well, it was reasonable. I’d abandoned my family, after all, just left my two young sons and-” He cleared his throat. “-my pregnant wife.”

I blinked. “I thought you two didn’t like each other.”

His shoulders tensed, and he leaned away from me. If I didn’t know better, I would have thought him embarrassed. “We didn’t hate each other,” he stressed. “We didn’t get along, but that didn’t mean we couldn’t enjoy each other’s company sometimes.” His voice lowered. “It was damn good sex.”

Gross.

Noticing my disgust, he tried to hide a smile behind his hand. “You’ll understand the ways of the adult world someday, kid.”

No, I doubted I would ever understand anything a Harlock did.

“So Harlock has two siblings?” I prompted.  I didn’t want him getting distracted, and now that I thought back, Harlock had mentioned “brothers” before. At the time, I’d just assumed them dead.

Vati paused, his brow furrowed. “He did,” he said at length. “I had three sons, though Phantom would say I held no claim over the third. Childbirth was too much for his mother. She died giving him life, and my boys were left alone once again. Wataru was old enough to take care of the other two with the fortune I’d left them. When Phantom told me this, I expected that he’d taken the earliest opportunity to break from Wataru and become a pirate. The two of them had always gotten along like cats and dogs, and he still spoke ill of his elder brother.”

His face screwed up with a concoction of emotions, but the regret in his eye was overwhelming. “But Phantom informed me that he still visited home regularly, not for Wataru, but for his younger brother, Richard.”

“They have a strange mix of names,” I said before I could stop myself.

Vati managed a tired smile. “I don’t know where Richard’s name stems from, but Phantom was named after me, of course, and my father before him. Wataru was named for his mother’s father, a Japanese man. Actually, I’d wondered if you were similar. Yama – that means mountain if I remember right.”

I hadn’t considered my own heritage in so long that I couldn’t understand his meaning for a moment. Of course, I was not purely European, a fact that had brought my brother a great deal of worry over the years. “My brother and I had different fathers,” I admitted, something we’d kept hidden for so long. It hardly mattered now. “My father was a Japanese man, but I don’t know much about him. Mom said I looked so much like him, but I took after her enough to pass when my brother said we were full-blood.”

My mixed heritage never bothered Mom. That was why she’d given me a foreign name, but Brother had to deal with the repercussions when she died. Many people did not take kindly to mixed children, so growing up became a game of juggling lies. Brother had given his all to protect me, to make sure I was safe and accepted. That life seemed like a world away now.

I understood then why Vati looked so exhausted. Thinking back to my life as a human made me feel empty. I could never have any of that again, not the sun, the church or the love of my brother. My hands balled into fists in my lap. As I stared down at them, Vati placed his hand over one. I was unsure how long I’d sat there in silence.

“Brothers are a curiosity,” he said. “I can’t claim to ever understand the relationship my sons shared. From what I can gather, Richard kept Wataru and Phantom together. He was a sickly child, constantly on death’s doorstep, but Phantom said his eyes always shined, and he always had a smile on his face. He was a carefree sort and a talented artist from what I’ve heard. But…”

He trailed off, his hand tightening over mine. I was forced to lean in to hear as his voice faded to whisper. “I’m not sure how much more I can say before this stops being my story. Perhaps I’ve already said too much. All I can tell you is that Phantom refused to stay with me, in-part because he despised me, but largely due to the worry he felt for his little brother.”

As though I’d fallen into his trap, his arm wrapped around my shoulders and butted me up against his side. The playful gleam returned to his eye, a wicked grin across his lips. “Have you ever tried your sire’s blood, Yama?”

“What?” I choked. “No!”

“Oh, you’re missing out.” He spoke too loud, like he wanted the whole bar to know. “You should try mine. It will have about the same effect.”

A flash of a shadow passed in front of me, and Vati’s arm disappeared, along with the rest of him. A crash as loud as cannon fire shook the room, but I was the only one to jolt in my seat. I saw Harlock first, standing with his arms crossed; then I noticed Vati pulling himself from the far wall. The boards which made up the wall were bowed in and splintered from impact, but Vati brushed himself off like he’d been bumped into.

“No need to get so violent,” he sighed. “We don’t want to cause any severe damage to the place.”

Glancing over my shoulder, I found the bartender glaring at the two of them. A stake had replaced the glass in her hand. “I will compensate you for the damage,” Harlock said. “I apologize.”

Perhaps wanting to get thrown into another wall, Vati walked back to my side and plopped down in the same seat. “He’s always grumpy right after he wakes up,” he said.

Harlock slapped a handful of golden coins down on the counter before taking hold of my hand to drag me away. “Come on,” he said. “We need to prepare the ship.”

I’d never played much of a role in preparing the ship – the men tended to yell at me when I tried – but Harlock’s grip was firm. We headed out into the night air of the city, just as thick and unpleasant as I remembered it. Vati trailed after us.

I expected Harlock to yell at him, yet we continued on in a tense silence. Even when we reached the Arcadia, he didn’t release my hand.

“She still looks as beautiful as the first day I saw her,” Vati said as he scanned the ship.

Harlock started to respond, but his words were lost to me when something solid smashed into the back of my skull. As my head throbbed and dirt bit into my cheek, I wondered what I was doing on the ground. The cause appeared to be a weight atop my back. “Yama,” a smooth, cool voice spoke. “Where have you been?”

Ah, right, I’d forgotten about Kei. Looking back, I found her sitting on my spine, her arms crossed. Judging by the icy rage in her eyes, I guessed this was it for me.

Vati jumped in with an unsteady laugh. “I’m afraid that was my fault. He mistook me for Phantom, and I led him elsewhere during the fight.”

Kei’s frown deepened at the sight of him. “Oh, it’s you.” She released me from my prison, grabbing me by the collar of my shirt to haul me to my feet alongside her. “Do you know how worried I was?” she hissed. “Tell me next time, even if you are going off with someone who looks like the captain. Ugh, I can’t believe I spent all day worrying about you, when you were off sleeping with the captain’s dad.” She threw up her hands. “I could have found a cute girl to fool around with, but no!”

“They did not sleep together,” Harlock drawled. I nodded quick enough to shake my entire body.

Either Kei didn’t believe us, or she didn’t care. “So what’s the plan, Captain? When are we heading out?”

“We’ll be leaving as soon as possible. We need to follow the trade route back toward Spain.”

Vati sighed, and Kei looked at Harlock as though he’d decided to blow up the ship. “That’s suicide,” she said. “We can’t follow a trade route. We chance running into too many ships during the day.”

“That’s the plan. We’ll have to switch out the sails, and we’ll need Tadashi to remain on watch during the day. I can hire some sirens to help him, but there’s a specific ship we need to find, and all I know is that it’s on that route.”

Kei rubbed a hand across her face. She looked like she was going to be sick. “You want to find…one ship…in the whole of the Atlantic.”

Harlock shrugged. “Not the whole Atlantic.”

I didn’t have the best knowledge of the sea, but I could guess by their conversation that I didn’t like whatever this plan was. It seemed we would all be in danger, and keeping Tadashi out alone all day would exhaust him, leaving him with minimal contact with the rest of us.

“Good luck pitching your idea to Tadashi,” Kei said, mirroring my own thoughts. “You know how he usually feels about your brilliant plans.”

Harlock winced, and as we climbed the sloping plank onto the ship, I felt his heart begin to race. If Vati noticed, he didn’t give any indication, but then again, I kept quiet about it as well.

Mii-kun raced over to me, yowling as though I’d starved him. “I left you plenty of food,” I scolded as I scooped him up. He rubbed his face against as much of mine as he could reach, crawling over my shoulders and back into my arms.

“This must be Tadashi’s cat then,” Vati said.

I recalled Harlock mentioning something to that effect. I guessed he’d never clarified. “No, this is my cat. That’s Tadashi’s cat.”

Vati blinked in confusion as I pointed out across the endless deck. Three boys stood resting against the railing of the fore. Tetsuro’s arms dangled out over the water, Tadashi sat there swinging his legs, and Meowdar lay across the railing like a lounging cat. I rarely saw one without the other two anymore.

“Alright,” Vati said, nodding in a slow acceptance. “So the other one is the boy?”

Meowdar noticed us first, cracking one eye open. He said something to the other two, causing Tadashi to turn back with a start. “Opa!” he cried.

Vati broke into a brilliant grin, as though he’d forgotten every sadness he’d told me. He knelt as Tadashi hopped down to the deck and ran over, tackling him in a hug. “Hey there, kid,” Vati laughed, ruffling Tadashi’s hair. “How’s my little boy?”

Tadashi pulled back with a huff. “I’m growing! I have a boyfriend now!”

“Hey!” Meowdar yelled.

“Alright, a boyfriend and a half. Come here, I’ll introduce you.” Taking his grandfather by the hand, he pulled the man forward. Harlock let them leave, remaining in place. He wore no expression, his eye void of emotion. I decided to stay with him in case he did anything foolish.

We watched the three boys interact with Vati. Meowdar hung from Tadashi’s neck, refusing to leave until he was considered a proper boyfriend. Tetsuro only laughed as Tadashi demanded help. Vati’s eyes shone with joy as he looked between the three of them.

Separating them would be wrong, no matter the reason. “Do you really need to find your brother so badly?” I asked Harlock.

But he gave a nod.

“Why?”

He tore his eye from the scene to return my gaze. “Wataru has information I need. If I can find Wataru, I can find the man I need to kill.”

“Who!?” My shout was loud enough that the others silenced. I could feel them staring at us now. “Do you really need to kill him so much that you’re willing to put everyone at risk for it?”

I’d said the wrong thing. Harlock’s eye narrowed as his hand latched onto my shoulder. The pressure of his grip was so tight, my hands shot up to grasp at his wrist, trying to pry him off. Mii-kun puffed up, hissing at him.

“No one else will be in harm’s way,” he said. “Once I have his location, I’m going after him alone.”

“No you’re not!” I yelled. “You won’t go after someone dangerous without help!”

His voice rose along with mine. Our hearts raced together. “You don’t understand! I can’t let him near anyone else!”

“Dad!”

We both jolted against Tadashi’s voice. I hadn’t noticed him at Harlock’s side until then, the other three standing nearby as well. 

Tears rimmed Tadashi’s eyes, and he gripped the Harlock’s shirt like the young boy he appeared to be. “It’s Gido, isn’t it?” His voice trembled. “You can’t fight him alone. I won’t let you.”

Gido. There was that name again. 

“I can’t let him near you,” Harlock said. He sounded so young, so lost. “I can’t lose you too.”

“And I can’t lose you!” Tears traced Tadashi’s cheeks and jaw. His small fang punctured his lip as he tried to keep it from trembling. “Not like Mom,” he whispered.

Harlock dropped to his knees and pulled his son close. “I’m sorry,” he said, offering no more reassurances than that. He still refused to back down on this.

“Is Gido really that important?” I asked again. We’d avoided him before, so we could do it again. We didn’t have to face him, and Harlock certainly didn’t need to face him alone.

“Gido has to die for what he’s done, and I have to be the one to do it.“

"Revenge is a bitter medicine, son,” Vati said. “It’s not something to take alone.”

Harlock pulled back from his son with a sigh. Reaching up, he brushed a tear away from Tadashi’s cheek. “My little brother was a good man,” he murmured. “My little brother loved drawing and painting. He was such a gentle soul, so fragile, so kind.” He seemed to speak to all of us and yet none of us, his voice empty yet filled with agony. “My little brother was so perfect I wanted for him to live forever. But Gido killed him, just like he would kill both of you, just like…”

He looked up to me, his gaze tracing my face. He seemed terrified that he would find whatever he was looking for. My chest ached against his pounding heart.

I wasn’t certain what he saw in me, or if he didn’t see anything at all. But I could see the weight of centuries in his hollow eye as he spoke. “Just like he killed my Daiba.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Haha. Richard.  
> Eh, I'll have more fun with the next chapter.


	16. Quo Vadimus?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally.

Father’s attempt at cheering me up came in the form of a kiss smacked against my cheek. He grinned at my glare. “I know you’re itching to leave, so I’ll head off,” he said. “You be good to all your boys though.”

He never was good at making me feel better. Actually, the opposite was true. I could feel myself sulking. I just needed to brew my thinking black for a while, and something about being around my father always turned me into a child. I reasoned it had to do with him acting so childish as well.

Sitting against the Arcadia’s rails, I stood with my arms crossed in hopes that everyone else would give me my space. It hadn’t worked. Yama stood directly at one side; Tadashi sat beside me on the other. Mii-kun wormed back and forth across my shoulders, butting his head against my face. Somehow Yama must have encouraged him to do so.

“I’m fine to all of my crew,” I answered. It was them who were cruel to me.

Father looked to Yama with a telling smirk. “He always was a bit mopey. You just keep taking care of him, and he’ll get over it.”

Yama’s brows scrunched in confusion. “I wasn’t really…”

Father leaned in and kissed Yama’s cheek as he had mine. Yama blinked. His hand shot to his face as though he’d been slapped.

I opened my mouth to get onto my father, but he passed me by with a wave. “Visit again soon, son. I never get to see my grandson enough.” Tadashi himself earned a kiss to his forehead, which was enough to make him smile. If nothing else, my father had a knack for entertaining my son that I didn’t possess. I refused to accept the tight feeling in my chest as jealousy.

Once Father left, I thought perhaps I should move. The rest of the crew busied themselves loading our newest batch of supplies, yet the three of us stood idle. I couldn’t seem to convince myself to move, though I had no reason to stay. No one spoke beyond the rumbling purrs of the cat. Tadashi watched the others, while Yama stared off into the night sky. I’d waited for him to ask about those who had come before him since I revealed their names, yet he’d remained silent. I felt relieved and uneasy all at once, unsure if I wanted for him to ask. I couldn’t bring myself to speak otherwise.

I sensed no anxiety or animosity from him like before. He smelled light and sweet, the same way he had the first time I found him, like someone who spent too much time in a flower garden. At the time, he’d smelled human as well. That had vanished, but the flowers remained. The scent was relaxing yet stressful, as being around him had always been. Each of my newbloods gave me such an ailment. Such troublesome things they were.

“Wait!” Yama said quite without warning. His spine straightened, and he looked to me. “Vati is one of the other yous in the book, isn’t he?”

That sounded like a loaded sentence, and one I couldn’t decipher. I felt a bit too focused on one part. “Vati?” I echoed, staring back at Yama.

“Yeah.” He cocked a thumb over his shoulder. “Your dad.”

I blinked. “But not…your father.”

He looked as confused as I felt, his expression twisted. “No…?”

Tadashi leaned forward to look across me. “Vati means ‘Dad,’ Yama,” he said. “Did he say that was his name or something?”

Yama’s eyes widened, a blush bleeding into his cheeks. “Ah,” he wheezed as though he’d been punched in the gut.

“I think he wants for me to kill him,” I said.

Yama stared at his hands. “I can’t believe I was calling him Dad in public.”

Before I could make good on my threats against my father, I heard a sharp whistle at my back, like someone calling a dog. Yama turned to look, always a bit more curious than he would admit. I would have passed the sound off as inconsequential if not for the volley of fire that followed.

More than a dozen shots sounded from all over the dock. Someone did not wish for us to leave alive. Tadashi spat a curse as I grabbed for my cutlass. Loading a gun would take too long, and I could take a few bullets as I cut the men down.

“They’ve got silver!” someone warned from the deck.

Well, so much for being reckless. Silver bullets did too much damage to chance. As Yama’s heart raced alongside mine, I reached over to grab him. I needed him behind me, out of the line of fire before the second volley. But as my hand brushed his sleeve, it slipped from my reach.

As I looked to him, he dropped to his knees, his hand over his chest. “It hurts,” he breathed.

The scent of his blood overwhelmed me along with gut-wrenching fear and the need to tear those bastards on the dock apart. “Kill them all,” I snarled in an order, torn between panic and violence.

My crew didn’t need for me to say as much. They had already scattered, dropping crates and going for their weapons. Those bastards didn’t know whom they were dealing with. I would see their miserable lives ended.

Before I could join in our return of gunfire and clash of swords, Yama sucked in a breath. “Oh God.” His voice wavered, rising to a trill. “What is this? It hurts!”

Wisps of steam rose from the wound as he clawed at the gaping hole in his ribs, growing wider by the second. His fingertips soaked crimson in his attempt to claw away the pain. 

I knew that agony. He’d taken one of the silvers. I could smell his blood broiling, tissues melting away against the bullet. I dropped to my knees at his side, latched onto his shoulders and slammed his back against the planks. “Don’t move!” I yelled, hoping he might be aware enough to hear. “You’ll do more damage!”

He bucked and fought against my grip, his attempt to scream cut off by a gurgle of blood bubbling on his lips. Even as he managed to open his eyes, they rolled back into his head. All I could do was force him down with my forearm across his shoulders, my free hand snatching his hands away from the wound. At this rate, he would tear his own heart out.

“Tadashi!” I yelled over the cracks of gunfire. It seemed he’d vanished into the fray.

“I’m busy!” he yelled from somewhere closer to the bow.

Before I could yell that he needed to stop being busy this instant, Kei dipped into view in front of us, using the railing as cover. “You’re on your own with this one, Captain,” she said with a quick glance at Yama. She reloaded as she spoke, her movements as smooth and calm as her speech. “Unless we retreat, our hands are full. Tetsuro took a hit, so Tadashi is trying to handle that.” She smacked a hand to my shoulder before hopping up and vaulting the railing. “You’ve got this, Captain!”

I wasn’t sure what I had exactly. With a heavy huff, I adjusted myself for an impromptu surgery. Yama’s writhing had turned to shudders, and his eyelids fluttered as I placed the side of my hand to his lips. “Bite,” I ordered.

He hissed blood through clenched teeth and turned away.

“Now isn’t the time to be stubborn. This is going to hurt even more, so-” I jammed my fingers into the wound. “Bite!”

With a gargled gasp or perhaps an attempt at a scream, he complied. The blood in his mouth was as warm and slick as that in the wound, his fangs just as sharp as the shards of his shattered ribs. I knew I’d brushed the bullet when his bite threatened to take out a chunk of flesh. His hands latched onto my arm, the pressure almost enough to snap it in two. “Hang on,” I said. As much as I wanted to sound comforting, I felt myself barking at him instead. “I’ve got it.”

The damn thing seared through my fingertips as I dragged it out, renewing the sickly-sweet smell of burning blood and flesh. The final influx of pain was too much for Yama, it seemed. His hands slipped from my arm, and his jaw relaxed enough for me to pull my hand free. His weak heartbeat forced slow pulses behind my own, though he looked pale and still enough to be a corpse. If that bullet had pierced his heart instead of his lung, he could very-well have been one.        

As I managed to tear my eyes from him, the sounds of the fight came rushing back. It appeared a few stragglers remained of the enemy. Good.

“Excuse me for a moment,” I said as though Yama might hear and scold me for violence. Perhaps it was best he didn’t see the battle. I recognized the group as Faust’s men just before I cleaved one in two and crushed another’s heart in his chest. They were the quickest deaths I could offer vampires, and truly, they deserved worse.

By the end of it, we all reeked of vampire blood.

“We better make scarce before the town decides to run us off,” Kei said, wiping her rapier on her sleeve.

I nodded. “Very well, but please rinse off in the ocean before you all bloody-up my ship even worse.”

It took a solid day after we’d set sail for everyone to take their turn in the baths and to properly clean themselves off. During his own bath, Yama did not appear interested in offering me any aid. He slept through the whole ordeal, but that was probably for the best. I doubted he would have been thrilled upon waking up naked with me beside him.

Then again, when he finally woke up in our bed, he wasn’t as murderous as I’d anticipated. I wasn’t sure what he was. Sitting on the edge of the bed, I didn’t know he’d awoken behind me until I found my shirt yanked up and him pressed to my bare back.

Blinking, I shut the sketchbook in my hands with a snap. “Yama?” I called, unsure how to react to this display of…something.

A contented purr rolled against my spine, a sound only ferals made. “Oh,” I sighed. “Was it that stressful?” As I stood, he gave a soft whine. Yama would have loathed so show such weakness to me, but a feral was the most primal version of a man. Yama wasn’t my only newblood to sink back into that state upon encountering extreme pain or stress, but he was the only one so adamant to remain close to me that he hopped off the bed after me and clung to my waist.

“Things are easier when you hate me,” I said with a sigh. “I suppose you won’t let me at least get you some clothes.” That had always been my greatest trouble when he was feral before.

When I turned, he clung to me like I was piece of driftwood and squished his cheek against my chest. I couldn’t seem to pry the little leech off in order to check on his wound. Without drinking human blood, it wouldn’t heal fully, though he showed no mind.

He merely held me, quiet and unmoving. “It scared you that much?” I asked with a sigh as I tossed the book to the top of the chest. “Alright-alright. I’ve got you then.”

Pulling the blanket from the bed, I draped it over him, tying it closed around his middle. He only allowed us far enough apart for this after I breathed enough soothing promises into his hair. After dragging him back on the bed, I couldn’t even right myself before he’d formed a ball at my side, his arms locked around mine. My legs hung off the side of the bed, but well, it would work.

“I’m sure you would prefer it if I were someone else,” I said as I traced the lines in the ceiling with my eye. “But I’m glad I can help anyway.” Reaching over, I laced my fingers through his hair until he purred again. The relaxing sound was infectious. I felt I could breathe easy for the first time in ages. Here, out on the open sea and in my arms, Yama was safe. Where I had failed the others, I would not fail him. He was far too fragile to experience anymore pain, too naïve and gentle to be a pirate.

“I’ll take care of you,” I breathed, brushing the tips of my fingers along his cheek. “I won’t let you get hurt again.”

He looked up to me, those golden eyes as endless as the night sky. 

“Is it cruel that I don’t regret meeting you?” I asked. He blinked, unaware of my words. He only knew my voice, my face, the taste of my blood. Those were what made him smile and press his forehead to mine. As Harlock, I could never make Yama happy, but even as a worthless sire, my feral adored me.

Something about that hurt.

“If I could go back, I would still turn you,” I sighed. “I would always keep you. I could never have let you stay there. I’m so sorry, my little church boy.” I placed a kiss to his forehead, and his purring renewed like a blooming flower.

“Don’t do that,” I said. “It’s bad enough that I kissed you once. You know you’d tear my throat out if you were conscious.” He’d let me get away with it once before, but ferals were a different breed. A very ditzy breed.

“Maybe someday you’ll be happy to see me as yourself. Maybe I’ll learn how to make you happy.” I curled strands of his hair around my fingers. It had taken ages to get all the dried blood out, but now his hair was softer than feathers. “Maybe you’ll learn to stop worrying me.”

He seemed content to rest against me, purring away my concerns. Because I couldn’t convince him to let me fetch some blood, I gave him my hand to bite again instead. Though it did nothing for his injury, he seemed content with it. As he sleepily drew from the wound, I found myself wishing he would bite me while conscious.

I knew Father had mentioned that just to get a rise out of me, but the idea of Yama so content with me that he would take my blood to calm himself when troubled, or maybe just for the taste… perhaps from my neck instead of my hand…

I cleared my throat and tugged on my hand so Yama would release it. This was a troublesome train of thought, one Yama would not allow. I needed to nip it in the bud before it got out of hand- Well, things were already out of hand. I had a disappointed feral butting his head against my cheek, trying to get my attention and probably my hand again.

But I couldn’t bring myself to look at him, wary of where my mind might try to wander again. I hoped he would return to himself soon, so his general disdain with me could bring me back to reality.

But soon was not as soon as I would have liked. After three long days of him clinging to my back or neck, trying to stuff himself under my shirt, and only allowing me to move around the ship if I carried him, he finally awoke with his hair a whirl-winded mess and with a scowl on his face.

“Why am I wearing your clothes?” he grumbled.

“They were much easier to drag you into than your clothes,” I said with a shrug. “You liked the smell of mine, but you kept trying to make a nest out of them.”

He squinted at me as though trying to catch me in a lie. I wished I were lying.

I handed him the glass of blood I’d fetched while he was unconscious enough not to notice me wriggling from his iron grasp. He accepted it with a frown. “Was I feral again?” he muttered.

I nodded. “Do you remember anything?”

“No.” Pressing a hand to his forehead, he closed his eyes. “But I feel like I’m missing something.”

“What’s the last thing you remember?”

“I…” His hand slipped from his face. “I got shot, right? You were there. I remember you saying something.”

“You were in a great deal of pain,” I added when he seemed lost. “I would guess you turned feral due to the trauma.”

He made a noise with no discernable meaning. It seemed he was still half-asleep, as he pulled the collar of my oversized shirt up to his nose. “It does smell nice,” he mumbled.

I shot my eye elsewhere and cleared my throat. “Anyway, I can finally let your cat back down here because you have a proper grip on yourself, though he has been doing a good job of keeping Tadashi company during the day.” I looked back to find him sipping the blood and staring my way through half-lidded eyes. Ferals slept so much that he must have had lag from oversleeping. The first time he’d woken from a feral state, he’d been too panicked to bother with exhaustion, but now he didn’t even seem too concerned by my clothes. I’d always been told the feelings of a feral toward his sire carried over, so I must have done something right by letting him cling to me all that time.

At least, I liked to hope so.

“I think this is what having a hangover feels like,” he said.

I smiled as I helped him to his feet. He’d spent so much time being carried that his sea legs were a little unsteady again. “Are we near your brother yet?” he asked as he tried to comb the mess from his hair with his fingers.

I licked my thumb in hopes of patting down one of the more stubborn cowlicks. “I have no idea,” I said. “I’m hoping we will pass him on his way back west.”

“So there’s a chance we’ll miss him entirely?”

“Yes.”

“This is a lousy plan, you know.”

I nodded. He was far from the first to tell me, but I found it hard to take him seriously when he stood there with unruly hair and oversized clothes. He didn’t mind my help in trying to manage his hair, nor did he bother asking me to leave when he changed. I guessed now was as good of a time as any to make him hate me again.

“I feel I should ask,” I began with all the eagerness of a schoolchild with a grammar exam. “Would it be alright with you if I were to ask- just when you seemed upset or stressed- or maybe just of you were to go feral, though I couldn’t ask then I suppose.” 

He frowned at me, one brow raised as he buttoned his shirt. This wasn’t going as I’d hoped.

“What I mean to ask if it might be alright, perhaps sometime in the future, for me to request your permission to kiss you?” I wasn’t certain the words falling from my mouth made any sense, but Yama appeared to understand.

He blushed up to the tips of his ears, his eyes so wide it seemed I’d asked something far more scandalous. Asking permission to ask permission would have been ridiculous with anyone else, but it seemed perfectly logical with Yama. As he tried to find his bearings enough to tell me no, he stuttered worse than I had. “I mean, I guess as long as you’re asking, that’s um- a kiss isn’t bad, right? Nobody ever got hurt from a kiss. At least, I don’t think so. But as long as you ask permission first- yes, if you ask first, and we can’t be in public! And you have to ask. Then it would be okay – just ask first. Yes.” He nodded at the floor as though speaking to it.

I may have been imagining things, but that sounded like an affirmation.

“Alright, well…” I nodded in return, my eye wandering. “I’m glad to have established that then. I just wanted to set some boundaries because I kissed you when you were feral, and that didn’t seem right, so I wanted to apologize for not having your permission since you don’t remember.”

All that blood he drank seemed too fill his face as his hands rose to cover his mouth. “You…kissed me?”

Wait.

I threw up my hands, waving them so hard they felt numb. “No-no! Not on the mouth! God, I wouldn’t-“ My face felt hot enough to melt the room. “No, it was just on the forehead! I promise!”

“Oh,” he whispered, his hands drifting up to cover the rest of his face. “Right, just on the forehead. Of course. I mean, that’s what I meant.” He made a sound like laughter scrubbed against a washboard. His heart raced faster than any horse hooves.

“Yama,” I managed despite my whole body seeming to go weak on me. “Did you think I meant-?”

“No! I knew what you meant! We were talking about on the forehead! Like in the bar!”

“So…would you be alright with-?”

“I didn’t mean it!” he howled. “I was just kidding okay! It was a joke! I…I need to get my cat!”

He slammed the door on his way out, leaving me to sink back onto the bed and try to understand what on Earth had just happened.

It seemed I would need to try my hand at asking permission again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Haha, I'm trash.


	17. Radix Malorum est Cupiditas

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Spoiler warning?? But this chapter contains sort-of smut. Not quite smut, really. Also a really bad joke.

Yama made an impressive effort to avoid me for the rest of the night. He stuck himself like tar to Tochiro or Kei, whomever happened to be nearby, and he refused to so much as look my way. Even so, his face seemed a permanent shade of pink.

Our sleeping arrangement placed him so far on the bed’s edge, it was a wonder he didn’t fall to the floor, but as always, he found his way to my side in his sleep. I’d trained myself to face away, so he wouldn’t be as upset if he were to wake to find me there. That idea hadn’t worked as well as I’d hoped when he woke at the inn, but I wasn’t going to change the habit anytime soon. I couldn’t guarantee I wouldn’t put my arms around him if I allowed myself to face him. The idea of holding him made my heart race. I couldn’t only hope he didn’t pay my heartbeat any mind, though his seemed to pound against my own every time we shared the same space.

In the past, I could block such thoughts out with the knowledge that Yama would have staked me with his own hands had he found out. But now that he himself brought up the idea of kissing him, well, I couldn’t get it out of my head. The idea of taking his face in my hands intruded on my every waking moment. But I _couldn’t_ think those things because there was no one around to help with the ensuing…troubles.

If only Zero could show up conveniently again.

It wasn’t as though I could easily take care of the problem myself because Yama always seemed to be hiding away in our room, or his cat was there. That was somehow worse. It was all the more embarrassing when I considered how many centuries I’d lived, and yet I couldn’t tune out one of the primary desires of my twenties.

It had just been too long since I’d gotten into bed – or rather, on the desk – with Zero, and the assault of new thoughts left me weak to my own desires.

I had trouble finding sleep that night with Yama fused to my back. Even when I did sleep, I found my dreams to be even more troublesome. Yama and Zero certainly wouldn’t have approved of their actions within them, and I didn’t either honestly, though I did feel disappointment along with my shame when Yama jolted me awake. His hands latched onto my arm tight enough to bruise.

He looked as pale as when he’d taken the bullet, his eyes as wide as saucers. As I dragged myself into a sitting position alongside him, I realized it had something to do with the cracks of thunder and roaring winds outside.

“You haven’t paid the sirens,” he hissed. “We’ll crash.”

“I already paid them for the whole trip. I wanted them to help Tadashi during the day, but they’ll aid us in the storm too. I just hope we don’t miss Wataru’s ship because of this.”

Yama’s crushing grip did not ease, nor did the trembling tearing through him. This storm was worse than the last, and the ship seemed to be at its mercy. We wouldn’t go down, but we might go off course. Yama might have fallen from the bed had he not held tight to me. The swaying of the ship crashed his cheek into my shoulder. His cat must have found a more stable hiding place, as I couldn’t seem to find the little beast to help comfort him.

“We’ll be fine,” I said. “This ship has been through worse, though it might be hard for you to sleep in this weather. I suppose I’ve grown used to it. If you’d like, I can tell you another story.”

“I’m not a child!”

“No, but you seem to like hearing about me suffering. I suppose that makes you more like a sadist.”

He glared up at me, not quite masking the fear in his eyes. A slight pout brought my eye to his lips, soft and pink and untouched. God, he was so close, so warm and close. Words slipped from my mouth before I could stop them. “Or I could kiss you.”

His stare seemed to stab through my skull. It felt accusing, though only surprise filled those wide eyes. I managed a mask of a smile. “I was just trying to distract you. Just joking.” Now I sounded like him.

“Okay,” he said, still staring my way. His lips pressed into a thin line. “Do it.”

“What?”

“Do it.” His cheeks burned pink. “Kiss me then. I think…I think I should try it. Just once. Why not? I’m already going to Hell.” His gaze drifted to his hands.

“Yama,” I sighed. “You don’t have to pressure yourself into this. If you’re really interested, we can wait until you feel comfortable enough-”

“I’m comfortable!”

He was not. Every muscle was tense as a gun prepped to fire, and his heart beat faster than a chased rabbit’s.

“You don’t seem comfortable.”

“I am! It’s fine!”

I breathed another sigh, wishing he would at least look at me while he tried to pass off these lies as truth. “Alright, Yama. Look me in the eye and say this is what you want.”

His eyes flicked up once, twice, three times before they finally settled on mine. “I do,” he whispered.

I wasn’t so sure. He seemed to be pushing himself into this, and I couldn’t understand why. Perhaps it was his fear of the storm, his hope for a distraction. Perhaps he found some shred of rebellion inside himself against his religion. I did not know. But whatever it was, it wasn’t enough to keep his heart from trilling in panic as I placed my hand to his cheek.

He tensed, his eyes clenching shut as I leaned in. I kissed his forehead along with some of his bangs. I couldn’t help but smile at the accusatory glare he threw up at me as I pulled away. “No!” he snapped. “I want a real kiss!”

“Do you? Because I don’t think it would have been much of a kiss with the way you were biting your lip.”

His ears burned red as roses, and that pout returned. “I’m trying. I’m just nervous, alright. I want to try this. I do.”

I was not certain that wanting to try it was the same as wanting it, but with another sigh, I made up my mind. I could blame it on the dreams all I liked, but I could have easily taken the mature route and turned him away. I did not. I was a horny bastard.

“If you’d like, I can help you relax,” I said. “And then we can try the kiss properly.”

The reasonable part of me wished he would have offered some questions or resistance, but he nodded. My heart hammered in response to his own, but fear played no part in it. Excitement weighted my breath as I leaned in once more. He still flinched away, unaware of my movements until my warm breaths brushed his neck. Just like the first time, I placed my hand to the back of his neck to draw him close, and a soft noise of surprise escaped his throat as my fangs made their mark.

It had been far too long since I’d tasted his blood. Somehow it seemed sweeter than in my memories. His heart pulsed against my fangs just as it had back then, but this time he did not hit me. Perhaps he should have, but his hands knotted into the back of my shirt instead. Despite his attempts to stifle his voice, a gasp tore from his throat.

Then he gave in and moaned, such a pure yet filthy sound. My eye rolled back as I listened to his heaving breaths and the rustle of sheets as his legs writhed. “Harlock,” he whimpered.

I felt as though I was drowning in his voice and his blood. The ache between my legs become impossible to ignore. Before I could stop myself, I’d crashed my bloodied lips onto his. He gave another gentle sound that could have been of surprise or contentment as I pressed him down against the pillows. I gave him enough room for a gasp of breath before capturing his lips again. I traced his fangs with my tongue, wishing he might bite me in return. I wanted him to taste my blood as well and lose himself to being the vampire that he was.

His grip tightened on my shirt against another clap of thunder, loud enough to snap me to my senses. I pulled away to see him gasping weakly for breath. His dazed eyes remained unfocused, and his blood ran from a cut on his lip. Our hearts beat in sync. I saw no sign that he wanted me to stop, but I’d been given no confirmation either.

“Yama,” I called, placing my hand to his cheek. “We should stop now.”

He didn’t look at me, merely nodded. His hand drifted up to cover his bloodied mouth. Without a word, he rolled away hopped out of bed. I tried to call after him as he stormed out the door, but he showed no sign of hearing. The door closed between us.

Smacking my hands to my face, I tried to rub away all the stupidity plaguing me. That was not the speed he needed. I was supposed to go slow. I was supposed to be careful. Now my church boy, who was terrified of thunderstorms, was off somewhere on his own, and I couldn’t follow him because I had a goddamn hard-on that wasn’t likely to go away anytime soon. At least, not unless I willingly sunk further into depravity. Honestly, I couldn’t get much lower at this point.

With a hiss of breath between my teeth, I reached down to pull my hips free of my pants. The room felt sweltering, as warm as having Yama close. When things got this bad, my mind always fell to Zero, to his anger and that talented mouth of his. Yet no matter how much I tried to focus on him as I wrapped my hand around my cock, I could only see Yama, glassy-eyed and panting. Drool mixed with pre-cum as he swirled that pretty little pink tongue around the head of my cock.

A shudder tore up my spine as I begin to pump myself, trying to imagine that it could be him, his mouth, his hand, anything. My sick mind had that innocent mouth say the dirtiest things, begging for more and telling me how he loved it. I hated myself for my thoughts, but even as shame twisted my heart, my gut writhed with pleasure.

I fell back against the pillows as the heat burned through my limbs and up to my face. My cock throbbed with each violent pulse of my heart. “Yama,” I panted, pressing my face into the pillow. I could feel his fingers digging into my back, his fangs buried into my neck as his toes curled. I could hear his voice, weak with pleasure, telling me how he loved me. I came with a gasp, pleasure boiling over in my gut. “Yama,” I choked through staggered breaths. “Oh, Yama, I love you.”

As I caught my breath and my head cleared, I reminded myself a dozen times just how sick I was for imagining something like that. Yama certainly deserved to kill me at this point, and I would let him once I found where he ran off to. First, however, I had to clean up a bit.

* * *

The storm wasn’t as bad from the supply closet. The cramped, internal room buffered the sounds a bit, but that was the least of my worries at this point.

With my back pressed to the door, I hoped no one would take a sudden interest in trying to get in, especially not Harlock. I prayed he hadn’t followed me, though it didn’t seem to be an appropriate subject to pray over. Just a force of habit, really.

I was glad he’d stopped us before I did anything _else_ I would regret. Something about that bite of his muddled my thoughts. Before, I’d known well enough that something was wrong, and that I needed to fight back. But this time, I only felt _good_. My chest heaved with breaths as I thought back to it, and my hand drifted between my legs. Since his bite, I’d wanted him to do to me what he’d done to Zero. I wanted his leg between mine, grinding away that ache that had been building there. Oh, I needed it. I needed him to relieve that pressure.

During our all-too-informative talk, Meowdar said the best way to do this whole masturbating business was to imagine someone else doing it for you. Of course, the church said not to do it at all, but they didn’t know what they were talking about.

“It’s good for you,” Meowdar had said, as I’d tried to block out his words. “Relieves stress and all that. Makes you happy, so if you’re not interested in having sex, it’s a good way to go.”

“Like a trial run,” Tetsuro chimed in. “Good to know what you’ll like.”

The trouble was, I did like it. I liked it too much to stop. My hips thrust into the shallow pressure of my hand. It just wasn’t enough. My heart beat in heavy pulses as I dragged away my pants. Spitting into my palm, I grabbed my length and moved in time with what my body seemed to want. It still didn’t seem like enough. Despite the heat coursing through me, I wanted more. I wanted it hotter, rougher, faster. It was all I could do to keep my voice from clawing up my throat. My legs trembled as something that could only be from heaven or hell squirmed in my stomach. My toes dug into the floorboards, but it wasn’t enough. I needed more.

Closing my eyes, I thought of that bite again. I remembered Harlock’s hands on me, so warm and strong. A jolt shot down my spine as I imagined those hands in place of my own, one drifting up beneath my shirt. I needed him biting me, touching me, and kissing me senseless all over again. I licked away the blood still gathering on my lower lip. “Harlock,” I panted. “More.”

I wished I’d been in Zero’s place, wished my blood had been running from his lips. I wished I’d stayed instead of running away. I wished I’d joined him and felt my heart pulsing alongside his. The way he’d said my name that day, a throaty growl filled with desire – that was the voice I wanted pressed my ear as he stroked me until the pleasure tearing through me became too much..

I felt as though the winds outside were roaring through my head as I gave in and released, my heart beating alongside his. There was something comforting about that firm pulsing inside my chest, married to my own. I could have drowned in that feeling, but I finally seemed to see my compromising position. All the blood in my body diverted back to my face as I rushed to tidy myself. If Harlock found out about this- If _anyone_ found out about this, I would die. I would actually die.

Once I felt passable, I poked my head out of the door. The hall was clear. Thanking whatever god might still be looking out for me, I crept into the galley. Maybe because of Harlock stealing my blood, I was starving, but I froze in the doorway as I found Tetsuro, Tadashi, and Meowdar all half-asleep at one of the tables. Tetsuro’s chin rested in his palm, Tadashi’s cheek squished against the table top, and Meowdar’s feet were kicked up onto it.

“Ah,” I managed, my voice cracking. “Hello.”

They answered in exhausted noises rather than words. I knew the other two had tried matching their sleep schedules to Tadashi’s, but it appeared the attempt had worn all three of them out. I had to hope we would find Harlock’s brother soon.

“I just came to get some blood, you know.” My words seemed to trip over each other in my rush to explain. “I was just hungry, and the storm, and…” They didn’t appear to care, but I felt close to a panic attack, just waiting for accusations.

“Mmkay,” Tadashi said to the table. “Blood’s all bottled up for you. Just take one.”

I continued waiting for a lighting strike to come down and end me, or for their eyes to turn on me with judgement. But it didn’t happen. Even when Harlock appeared, looking as uncomfortable and red-faced as I felt, nothing changed. The boys didn’t care. We all sat at the table in a hellish silence, while the storm raged outside. Some of the chairs toppled over, but we stayed put. Eventually, I gave in and zonked out on the table alongside the other boys.

Nothing changed. Any disgust I’d felt with myself faded with that realization. What was one small sin on top of being a demon? Besides, if I was going to Hell anyway, I saw no reason not to feel some pleasure before I burned.

* * *

Our energies seemed to wane with the moon, and once the new moon hung empty over our heads, we all lounged around the deck, restless with boredom. I couldn’t say I was one of the men who minded Harlock’s decision not to antagonize any of the other ships we spotted, but I understood why the men scowled into their cards and chessboards. We hadn’t done a thing since leaving Port Royal. I’d been told if we wanted to find Harlock’s brother, we couldn’t risk causing trouble in these waters. Meddling in trade routes could send half the royal navies after us.

The storms were the most interesting thing to happen in weeks, and even those fizzled out fast. With nothing better to do, I sat on the railing, my legs dangling out over the black sea. Without the brightness of the moon, we were truly surrounded by a starry void. That made it all the more startling when a mop of blue hair popped out of the water. I had to grab the rail to keep myself from falling back.

“Our apologies,” one said as the other appeared at his side.

I nodded, clutching a hand over my racing heart. “Did you need payment or something?” I called. “I can get the captain.”

“No, but there is a ship several leagues northeast of here,” the girl said. “Its course may intersect with your own.”

Kei also attempted to throw me from my perch as she appeared at my side, slamming her hands onto the rail. “Sounds interesting. Recognize any of its flags?”

They shook their heads. “The crest was unique,” the boy said.

“Very strange,” the girl added.

“Color?” Kei asked.

“Gray.”

“Like ash.”

Her eyes widened at that, and she sent them off with thanks and a salute.

“Why don’t we just get the name of the ship?” I asked her. “Harlock should know the name of his brother’s ship, right?”

She shrugged. “Sure, but Sirens can’t read our script. Wouldn’t do us any good.”

“So we’re just going to run headlong into this ship?” With the past several, we’d kept our distance until Kei could determine the class or enough of an outline that Harlock could shake his head. Tadashi used the sirens to scout for the same effect. They conveyed details until we recognized it as the wrong one, but with the night as dark as it was, I wondered if Kei’s eyes could be our guide once again.

A wicked grin split her face as she slammed a hand against my shoulder. I assumed it was meant to be friendly, but I felt like I’d taken another bullet and almost careened into the water. “We’ll burn that bridge when we get to it,” she said.

“I don’t think that’s how the saying goes.”

Her grin widened as she threw me a wink. “Boys,” she called, strolling back toward the crow’s nest. “We’ve got a live one.”

That mischievous gleam in her eyes infected the rest of them. Even Tochiro’s head popped up from his tinkering. Though Harlock stepped on deck with a calmer expression, I still felt ill-at-ease. We had no guarantees about this ship, yet everyone seemed willing to face it seemingly out of boredom.

Then again, I always felt anxious when Harlock was around as of late.

I found myself combing my bangs into my eyes with my fingers, anything to avoid looking at him. My bangs worked well enough considering how long my hair was getting. I couldn’t see much through them.

But as the ship appeared on the horizon, it was hard to miss. Its cream-colored sails popped against the darkness around us, and its ashy gray body seemed to glide along the water. It moved like a ghost despite being twice the Arcadia’s size.

It must have been the right ship, judging by the fact that we seemed content to drift right up to their side. “Ready the tethers,” Harlock said. If it wasn’t the right ship, we were in for a world of trouble.

I stuck close to the hatch, ready to use the door as cover should things go south. I didn’t need another bullet in my chest.

Our deck rested lower than theirs, leaving us unable to see their movements as we neared. Though we remained silent, I could hear a few people arguing from their deck. Their bickering came to an end as a man stepped onto the rail of their ship, over the name “Sirius,” which branded it. He leaped to our deck with a crash as loud as thunder. As he straightened himself, he glared at Harlock with those same golden eyes. His hair was the same windswept brown, their heights almost even, and their builds matched. He was undoubtedly one of the men from the book – Harlock’s brother. He looked as stern-faced and irritable in reality as he had on every page, distinguishable as one with both eyes and a constant frown.

“Phantom,” he said. His voice seemed both a greeting and a warning. As he started toward his brother, cracking his knuckles, it struck me that this reunion might go as well as the one with Zero.

Though I felt certain he would rip me in half, I raced to stand between them, stumbling to a halt in front of the taller man. “Hello, sir,” I wheezed. “You’re not going to punch Harlock, are you?”

All the anger in his eyes vanished as he looked to me. “No,” he said, dropping his hand to the top of my head and ruffling my hair. “I’m going to stab him.”

The second of relief I’d felt crumbled away. “Wait! No! Don’t do that either! We don’t need any violence.”

I seemed to be missing out on some joke as the crew around me broke into fits of snickering. Harlock's brother must have been out of the loop as well, as he frowned at them. “No violence on a pirate ship? Well, if you find my brother important enough to defend, I suppose I should be introducing myself.” He offered me his hand with a half-bow. “I’m Wataru Yuuki, captain of Sirius.”

I took his hand, still trying to make sense of his surname. “My name is Yama. I’m just one of the crew.”

He cocked his head, one brow raised. “No last name?”

I couldn’t meet his eyes as I shook my head. “No, not anymore.”

“Very well, Yama.” Instead of shaking my hand, he raised it to his lips, brushing my knuckles against them. I hadn’t expected this to be a Harlock family trait, and my cheeks burned with the renewed giggling of the rest of the crew. “While I am pleased to meet you,” he said against my skin. “Your heartbeat seems to match with mine. That is…troublesome.”

Harlock’s hand came down on my shoulder as he appeared at my side. I couldn’t read the emotion in his eye, though Wataru seemed to answer the gaze with his own. “I had no choice,” Harlock said.

“Sometimes death must run its course.” Wataru released my hand as he spoke. I felt sick from his words, spoken without a hint of remorse. As I took a step back from him, Harlock’s arm wrapped around my shoulders.

“Don’t be a hypocrite. His death was my own fault. I had to do something. Now do you want to see Tadashi, or are you going to continue being an ass to my newblood?”

Wataru’s eyes widened a fraction. “You brought Tadashi?”

“He wanted to come.”

As Wataru opened his mouth for what I could only assume was the sort of barking lecture Ezra used to give me often, another person fell to our deck from the Sirius. “Uncle!” the small thing squealed. He was so young his cheeks were still round with baby fat, just knee-high to me.

Another boy followed, stumbling in his landing. He was old enough to reach my hip, but still a child. He spoke in Japanese to the smaller boy. I could pick out enough words to recognize that they were brothers, and it was clear the elder was not happy about his little brother being here.

For brothers, they looked nothing alike, though my brother and I were the same. The elder had smooth blond hair and a thinner face, while the younger’s brunet hair was a mess of curls and cowlicks. Unlike his elder brother, he was a perfect image of how Harlock or Wataru might have looked as a child. I had no doubts over who he was addressing when he yelled “Uncle.”

Harlock’s brows rose at the sight of him, looking as surprised as I. “When did you get another one?”

Wataru ignored him. “Manabu,” he sighed. “I told you to stay on the ship.”

“I am on the ship!” Manabu yelled. “I am on this ship! I wanna meet Uncle Phantom!”

“Sorry,” the elder boy said. “I tried to stop him.”

Tugging off his glove, Wataru stuck his middle finger and thumb in his mouth and whistled loud enough to echo across the calm waters. What followed sounded like a horse running across their deck, but what leaped down and smashed into ours had to be a dog. At least, it had all the markings of a dog - a mess of fluffy fur colored in midnight blue, pointed ears, paws, and a muzzle. But those paws were the size of my hand. Its size did rival a horse.

“And look at that,” Harlock said. “You got yourself a pet too.”

Wataru threw a glare at his brother. “Shep is not a pet.”

The dog…thing nudged its nose up under Manabu, scooping the boy up to place on its back. “No!” the boy howled. “I wanna meet Uncle Phantom!”

Harlock grinned. “Oh? So he’s a babysitter then?”

I was not a fan of being left out of jokes. “I’m sorry,” I huffed, throwing up my hands. “But what is that?”

“Don’t be rude,” Harlock said, trying to hold back his smile. “Not ‘what,’ Yama. ‘Where.’”

“Where?” I echoed.

Wataru smacked a hand to his face, heaving a sigh. “Why do you have to do this to me?” He turned, his arm snapping around my back as he dragged me away from Harlock. “He’s a werewolf.”

“Werewolf?” I repeated distantly.

“There wolf!” Harlock called.

“Here wolf!” Manabu yelled.

“Don’t encourage him,” Wataru groaned.

At least he seemed more normal than the rest of his family.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "That was the most atrocious thing I’ve read in a long time."  
> -My girlfriend  
> Also it was 100% coincidence that Wataru and company showed up in two of my fics in corresponding updates. I really didn't intend for that to happen.


	18. Si Vis Amari Ama

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So many smooches.

I didn’t know how I ended up on Wataru’s ship. I only knew one moment Wataru was leading me toward the Arcadia’s edge, and the next moment, I was cradled in his arms as he stood on the deck of Sirius. A man a few years older than me – at least in appearance – stood just in front of us. A scar split the end of one of his furrowed brows, and his hair looked like a spiky mess of hay.

“Captain?” he questioned, looking from me to Wataru.

“You know I can’t let my brother keep a newblood with his track record,” Wataru said. “Bulge, this is Yama. Yama, this is my first mate, Schwanhelt Bulge.” He nodded toward the man in front of us.

I waved at Bulge, who nodded in return, still looking stressed. “Are you kidnapping me?” I asked them.

A crash sounded behind us as Harlock vaulted over the railing and slammed into the deck. He stormed toward us like an angered bull. “You can’t just take him! He’s my responsibility. I promised to take care of him.”

Wataru answered Harlock’s glare with the sharpened disapproval only an older brother could manage. “And we’ve seen how well those promises have worked out in the past. You promised me there would be no more newbloods. By right of negligence, I may take him.”

“You have no such right.” Harlock’s hands curled into fists at his sides. Had I not been held between them, I felt certain a fight would have broken out already. “My status as an oldblood is higher than yours, and Yama is not being neglected. He is not starving or abused. I have done everything in my power…” His eye darted away, his voice wavering. “My only aim is to make him happy. I will not stand by and allow you to take him.”

Wataru looked from his brother to me, frowning. With a sigh, he held me out toward Bulge and dropped me in the new stranger’s arms. I wished someone would bother to ask me what I wanted rather than treating me like a child. But before I could ask to be let down, Wataru put his arms around a startled Harlock and pulled him close. “You are always such trouble,” he sighed into Harlock’s shoulder. “But if he means that much to you, I suppose I can’t take him.”

As he stepped back, he placed a hand atop Harlock’s head with a tired smile. “I have missed you, little brother. You keep me worried.”

Back at the bar, Harlock said he loved his brother, and it was clear from the look in Wataru’s eyes that he loved Harlock in return. Though they were constantly at each other’s throats, they still cared for each other, and I felt sick with envy.

“I am doing well,” Harlock said, brushing his brother’s hand away. “I regained my Piece, so you’ll be stuck seeing me at the meetings again.”

Wataru shook his head. “That would be if you bothered to go.” 

Peering around his brother, Harlock looked at the man carrying me with clear suspicion written across his face. “You really are a hypocrite, you know,” he said.

I wasn’t certain whom he spoke to until Wataru answered. “I made no such promises about siring more newbloods. But quit stalling - out with it. You know better than to wander around in these waters. Your running into me was no accident. What do you want?”

Despite Harlock’s attempt at subtlety, I saw his eye flick to me for an instant. “I’d prefer we discussed this in private,” he said.

The dog, or werewolf rather, hopped back up over the ship’s edge, both children clinging to its back. The younger one lit up at the sight of Harlock, or perhaps his father, and scrambled off the wolf. Before he could rush over, the wolf put one paw on the boy’s back, gently knocking him over and pinning him to the deck.

Wataru looked toward his angry, wriggling son with one brow raised. “Very well, but we will have to make sure to introduce you to Manabu before he throws a fit.” Turning toward me, he offered a half-bow. “If you would, please allow Bulge to show you around. I’m certain the rest of my family would wish to meet you.”

“Why?” I asked before I could stop myself.

Wataru seemed equally confused. We both seemed to be missing something, but Harlock’s spine stiffened as though he figured it out. “Wataru,” he hissed. “He’s just a church boy I caused some trouble.”

Wataru answered with a sound that suggested he didn’t quite believe that. I still felt entirely out of the loop. “Regardless, Bulge, if you would.” He nodded to his first mate.

Bulge’s gaze snapped up to meet his captain. “Oh, yes, of course, sir.” I wondered if Harlock’s comment bothered him because his face was screwed up like he’d stumped his toe.

As Wataru and Harlock headed toward the hatch, they argued over something, Harlock’s shoulders scrunched as he snapped at his brother. Giving up on trying to read their lips, I kindly requested that Bulge put me down.

“Ah, right.” He cleared his throat as he replaced my feet on the deck. “My apologies. Well, I suppose the boys would like to meet you first.” He grabbed my hand as he started toward the wolf, tugging me along behind him.

The wolf had the younger boy trapped beneath both massive front paws, as well as its chin. It seemed to have fallen asleep with the pouting boy as a pillow. “Mamoru,” Bulge called as we neared. The elder boy looked up from where he sat, leaning against the dog’s side. “Your father wished for me to introduce you to Yama, your uncle’s newblood. Yama, this is Mamoru, and the upset one is Manabu. The werewolf is Shep.”

The wolf’s head rose, and brilliantly blue, cornflower eyes trained on me. It appeared blind, though I didn’t believe it to be. The elder boy stood and bowed. “Nice to meet you,” he said.

Unsure what to do, I nodded in return. “Nice to meet you. I didn’t know Harlock had nephews.”

“I didn’t know I had an uncle,” Manabu said, grinning. His words were far too coherent for his body, too young to speak so well. The wolf lifted its paws, allowing Manabu to wriggle free. He hopped to his feet and ran over to Bulge, raising his arms like any toddler does when he aims to be held.

“What is it?” Bulge asked, smiling as he obliged the boy.

“I want to say hello to my new family,” Manabu said. “If Mr. Yama is Uncle Phantom’s, that makes him Uncle Yama, right?”

Despite his manner of speech, his logic still followed that of a child, and Bulge was left stumbling over an explanation of why that wasn’t right as Manabu leaned over and smacked a kiss to my cheek.

“I’m glad we have more family,” Manabu said as he wrapped his arms back around Bulge’s neck. “I’m sure Mommy will be happy too.” With a yawn that showed dull fangs, he rested his head against Bulge’s shoulder.

“Come on, no sleeping on me,” Bulge said, prying the boy away. I wasn’t sure how he managed to say no with the heartbreaking whine that left the kid, but he plopped Manabu on Shep’s back once again. “Take him to his room for a nap,” he said to the wolf. “Then if you’d like to come back and meet Yama in your usual form, you can.”

Shep nodded before trotting off. Mamoru lingered for a moment, staring at me. “Uncle Phantom said you were a church boy, right?” His eyes narrowed. “So were you one of those people who hunt us?”

I froze. Eyes as blue as twilight pierced through me. Bulge scolded him, but Mamoru was right, and I could do nothing but feel the weight of my guilt. There was no denying that I’d taken part in a hunt, even if it was just one.

“Ah, Mamoru,” a woman’s voice sighed from behind me. “There’s no need to be cruel. People fear what they don’t understand. That is the nature of humans as well as vampires. Vampires have hunted and killed humans as well.” 

I did not feel her walk past me, only saw her in the corner of my eye. She knelt down in front of Mamoru and tried to catch his blue eyes with her own, but he refused to look at her.

“M’sorry,” he mumbled.

“That’s right,” she said with a smirk. She could only have been his mother, the same shade of blond hair curling around her cheeks. “Now go make sure your brother changes his clothes before he falls asleep.”

He left with a nod, and his mother stood to face me. I found she barely reached my chin. “Your heartbeat matches mine,” she said, her eyes shining. “Did Phantom sire you?”

“U-um, yes, my name is Yama.”

“It’s a pleasure, Yama.” She bowed like her son had. “I’m Kanna Yuuki.”

“So you’re Wataru’s wife?” Well, at least they were married.

She beamed. “That’s right.”

She was clearly Japanese, and considering her last name, a thought struck me. “Did Wataru take your last name?” I asked.

“Well, you could imagine the issues he might have with a last name like Harlock and the way he looks,” she said with a soft laugh. “But I dare say a name like ‘courage’ rather fits him. What about you, Yama? With a name like Mountain, you must have some Japanese heritage.”

“Ah, yeah.” I rubbed at the back of my neck, my eyes wandering. “But I wouldn’t know anything about it. I never knew my father.”

“I see.” Sympathy weakened her smile. She started to say something else, but the hatch door slammed open.

“Would you just listen to me!?” Harlock roared as he raced to follow Wataru to the deck.

“No,” Wataru snapped. “There’s nothing more to discuss. We’re finished here.”

“There they go again,” Kanna sighed. “You’d think they’d tire themselves out after a while.”

“I thought we’d seen the worst of it after his father showed up,” Bulge said.

Kanna hooked her arm around mine. “Well, come on. Let’s break this up before they make a mess. Bulge, you too.”

“You know he never listens to me,” Bulge muttered, though he trailed after us as we started toward the spitting-mad men. They paced in circles like two dogs sizing each other up.

“You don’t understand what you’re getting into, Phantom,” Wataru said.

“If we waste time, he’ll move again. Just give me his location, and I’ll take care of him. You don’t have to be involved.”

“If you’re involved, so am I!”

“I don’t need your help!”

“Phantom,” Kanna called before her husband could snap a rebuttal. “It’s so nice to see you again. Is Tadashi with you? I was hoping Manabu could meet him.” She strolled up to Harlock, placing us between the two men. Harlock looked trapped by her kindness. “I just met your Yama, and he is lovely,” she continued. “I would love to have us all sit down for tea, but I’m afraid I’m still too new to this whole vampire thing to have anything other than blood. I assume Yama is the same, yes?”

She turned to me, still smiling as though we were all part of the pleasant chat. With a delayed nod, I forced myself to join the odd game. “Harlock hasn’t met Manabu yet,” I said. “But Manabu just fell asleep.”

“Oh? I swear, my sons sleep more than any cat, but I’d bet he’d be willing to rouse to meet his uncle and cousin.”

“Right,” Harlock managed, tumbling into the conversation before Kanna could ramble on. “I’d love to meet your new kid-”

“Oh, he’s not as new as he looks,” Kanna said with a laugh. “Not that he acts his age.”

Harlock appeared moments away from lying down on the deck and calling it quits. “Yes, but I really need to discuss something with my brother right now.”

Kanna’s smile was sweeter than a mouthful of sugar. “And what’s that?” she asked.

Brushing his hand back through his hair, Harlock breathed a sigh. “It’s just… Well, I need to find someone, you see, and Wataru knows where that person is.”

Kanna nodded, something sharp hidden in her eyes. “And he won’t tell you where?”

“Right,” muttered Harlock, unable to keep her gaze.

Kanna looked back toward her husband, whom Bulge was busy trying to distract with some sort of idle chat. Wataru’s condition mirrored Harlock’s down to his messed hair. Bulge paused his rambling as though he felt Kanna’s eyes on his back. He turned and exchanged some sort of meaningful glance with her.

“Very well,” said Kanna. “I’m inclined to agree with Harlock. Something needs to be done about Gido.”

“But Kanna-” Wataru began. She cut him off simply by shaking her head.

“I know you think going after him will put the children at risk, but he’s already sent someone after us before, and I suspect that won’t be the end of it. If you don’t trust your brother to go after him alone, then go with him.”

“I won’t leave you,” Wataru whispered.

The heaviness in his voice seemed too great. I doubted he meant simply leaving the ship.

“I just don’t want Harlock to go alone,” I said, hoping something good could come from this mess. “I know I’m no help in a fight, but someone has to go with him.” Kanna’s arm tightened around mine.

“My ship is full.” Harlock spoke curtly. “I don’t want any assistance. I’m going to take care of this on my own. I just need the location.”

His words seemed to stab me in the gut. I just wanted him safe, yet he always refused help. He was such an idiot. My eyes burned and blurred with tears, but I only felt the raw tilt of anger. “Just let someone help you!” I spat. “What good is trying to avenge your brother if you get yourself killed?”

As my anger left me trembling, Harlock was a picture of control. All I could read from him was the disapproval in his eye. “I’d rather only I die than someone else who decided they needed to tag along.”

The world swam with a blur as I shook my head. I hated myself for crying. I didn’t want him to think I was sad. He needed to know how angry I was, how much I wanted to just knock some sense into him. “That’s so stupid. This isn’t worth your life. I don’t give a _damn_ who he killed. If I lose you-”

“Of course I wouldn’t expect you to understand.” Something dark swam into Harlock’s voice. I felt the rage in his heart beating in rhythm to my own. “You could never understand the pain of losing your brother. I saved you from that bastard. You would probably thank the man who finally killed him.”

Silence blanketed us as Harlock waited for me to bite back, but I had nothing to say. My throat swelled shut against me. I concentrated on fighting back more tears, refusing to let any fall. I would not let him see me that weak. Truly, I was weak, as weak and wavering as water. Perhaps Harlock should have been right. I should have hated Ezra.

But he was wrong to say I hadn’t known the pain of losing my brother. I’d lost him long before he stabbed me in the back.

“Phantom, that’s enough,” Kanna said, her voice even. I wondered if he’d been about to speak again. His heart raced in my chest.

“I just-”

“No. That’s enough.”

I felt her lead me away, but I couldn’t see much through the tears in my eyes. “Here,” she said, her voice soft and close. “I think Shep wanted to meet you in-person. He’s always a little anxious around new people, so go easy on him.”

I couldn’t say I wanted to greet anyone in this state, especially not a wolf. Rubbing my eyes on my sleeve, I started to tell her I’d already met him. But I found a man standing in front of me, his tanned skin just a few shades lighter than his mess of brunet hair. His eyes were cornflower blue, and he stood almost as tall as Harlock. An uneven smile wormed across his lips as he reached a hand out towards me.

My face burned as I scrubbed away at fresh tears. Right, he’d wanted to meet me in person, like literally in person. “I’m so dumb,” I mumbled.

His smile brightened as he shook his head and pointed back at himself.

I sniffled as I tried to make sense of that. “What? No! You’re not dumb. I mean, I’m sorry, what?”

“He’s mute, dear,” Kanna said.

“Oh! Oh, God. I’m so sorry.” As much as I wanted to hide forever, I settled on burying my face in my hands instead. It didn’t last long, as Shep’s hands circled my own and led them from my face as though he couldn’t understand why I’d put them there. With his brows furrowed and his eyes darting over my face, he seemed concerned for me. It only led more tears to my eyes.

“Ah, I’m fine. I’m fine. I don’t know why I’m crying. I’m not actually upset or anything.”

Shep cocked his head to the side like a proper dog.

“Careful,” Kanna said with a smile. “You keep this up, and he’ll add you to his little pack. He doesn’t like seeing kids upset.”

“Not a kid,” I said as well as any child pretending to be an adult.

“Oh, I think everyone is Shep’s kid.”

Judging by the hand ruffling my hair, Shep agreed.

“I think I might send him with you for a while.”

I nodded before my mind could comprehend her words. “Wait,” I spluttered. “Why?” This must have made Shep more concerned because I found myself pulled to his chest in a hug.

“It’s clear Phantom and Wataru won’t be willing to concede on this matter. Even if Wataru won’t admit it, he’ll want someone he trusts to stay by his brother’s side. I have no doubts Phantom will go after Gido no matter how foolish of a choice that may be. I just hope we may be able to convince him to take a werewolf along. He might be cuddly, but Shep will defend his pack to the death.”

He was certainly cuddly. I found myself patting his arm as he held me, his chin resting in my hair. I could find no reason to rebut her decision.

“That settles it then!” she announced as Wataru strode toward us.

This sort of thing must have happened often because Wataru’s brow pinched, and he spoke tentatively. “What settles what?”

“We’re sending Shep with Harlock.”

Wataru looked to me being crushed by the clingy werewolf. “I suppose he’d be fine with that. He’ll certainly like Yama and Tadashi at the very least.” Wataru just seemed like he didn’t want to argue with his wife. “And, Yama, I apologize for my brother’s behavior. He certainly didn’t mean anything he said. When he and I fight, we get to a point where we just aim to cause pain.”

He glanced back over his shoulder. I followed his gaze to find Harlock sitting on the railing of the upper deck. Harlock stared at the floorboards, his arms crossed. “I mean, he’s certainly an asshole,” Wataru continued. “I won’t deny that, but he did feel awful once he got his head on straight. I think he wants to let you have your space right now, but he’ll apologize soon enough. He obviously loves you too much not to.”

My ears felt as hot as iron brands. “He doesn’t love me,” I corrected through a stutter. “We’re not like that. I’m just…just around. We’re not even friends, really.”

Wataru cocked a brow, a curious smile curling on his lips. “Is that right? Well then if he has no claim over you, I don’t see why you can’t come with us.”

“I wouldn’t mind,” Kanna hummed.

Wataru’s hand caught my chin. Uncertain what was happening, I let him raise my face to meet his own.

He kissed me. It took so long for me to discern that it was happening that I only felt the remnants of warmth from his lips. I heard Shep huff beside my ear as I stared wide-eyed up at Wataru.

“I’d be more inclined to believe you,” he said, his tongue trailing his lower lip, “if you didn’t taste like my brother’s favorite wine.”

“What?” I spluttered. “There’s no way! I drank some blood since-”

Wataru and Kanna glanced at each other, smirking like mischievous children. I bit my tongue and dreamed of disappearing between the cracks in the floorboards. The intrusion of Harlock’s voice didn’t help matters.

“What the hell do you think you’re doing!?” he snapped, storming up to his brother. “Why do you always do this!?”

“You make a habit of this, Captain?” Bulge asked as he joined us, looking as though he’d come to expect as much.

“Always touching my newbloods,” Harlock growled as Wataru smirked down at him. “Let’s see how you like it.”

Wataru’s expression remained unchanged despite Harlock reaching across him to grab Bulge by his lapels and drag him into a kiss. Bulge’s arms whirred as he fought for balance, but Harlock was too invested to making the kiss crushing – er, passionate – to pay much mind. I stared at him with my mouth hanging open. Kanna giggled behind her hand.

Wataru caught Bulge by the back of his shirt and righted him as Harlock pulled away. “Very nice,” Wataru said. “Are you going to kiss my wife next? My werewolf perhaps?”

He and Kanna were far too accepting of this whole mess. I could only guess they were like Tetsuro and Monono, not minding sudden intrusions of Meowdars. Vampires did have the strangest relationships.

Harlock being around his brother seemed to have the same effect as him being around his father – he reverted back to a grumbling kid. “I don’t need to borrow from you,” he huffed, striding up to me. “I’ve got my own.”

Shep tugged me closer, his eyes flicking over Harlock in distrust. I wished he would let me go instead. For each step Harlock took toward me, my mind told me to take one step back. If he aimed to kiss me like he kissed Bulge, I wanted nothing to do with it. I didn’t need him using me to prove something to his brother. As much as I put up with being called “his,” I was not an object for him to own. My hand curled into a fist as I readied myself to waylay him in the gut.

But Harlock placed a hand atop my head, threading his fingers through my hair.  “I’m sorry,” he sighed. “I’m at my worst when I’m around my family. I’m sorry I’m such an ass. I can’t ever think before I talk.” He leaned in, brushing his lips across my forehead and breathing through my bangs. “But I can’t just stand by while my brother tries to steal you. I can’t say I like the idea of other people kissing you.”

I waited for a kiss, on the forehead or lips, but he pulled away, and Shep relaxed.

Harlock smiled down at me, his gaze softened by affection and worry.

“Okay,” I felt myself say. “Okay.”

“What’s that?” he asked, his brow furrowed.

I had to look away from him because the look in his eye was starting to make my stomach squirm. My heart beat in my throat when I thought of that confused smile. If no one else but him kissed me, that was okay. It was okay if he wanted to kiss me.

It was okay if he loved me.

“It’s okay,” I murmured, my cheeks burning.

Well, he probably didn’t love me. After all, I didn’t love him.

No. Definitely not.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not enough smooches.


	19. Totus Tuus

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wataru is having none of this.

It hadn’t been that long since I’d last crossed paths with my elder brother. He’d only had one child at the time, a teething infant who bit me the moment I tried to hold him. Somehow, Wataru had trained his son not to like me – I was certain of it.

Mamoru got along with Tadashi, though, and my son spent most of the visit carrying the baby as he rattled off orders about how to treat half-bloods. Wataru must have heeded all of Tadashi’s advice because both boys had grown well over the past few decades.

The smaller one, who introduced himself as “Manabu-an’-I-wanna-be-a-pirate” all in one breath, must not have listened to his father’s warnings about me because he was immediately smitten. He bounced on his toes, calling “Uncle Phantom!” as he held tight to my hand.

One moment it would be, “I lost a tooth. Do you want to see?” The next, “Can I see your ship? I want to see a pirate ship. Dad never lets us on them. He says we smell too nice.”

He was cute, though it was clear he’d taken after Wataru and not his mother like Mamoru had. But he was also keeping me from being able to pry information out of my brother.

“Would you like to meet your cousin?” I asked Manabu, halting his progress of counting to one-hundred in Japanese for me.

“Yes!” he gasped. “Dad, can I!?”

Wataru would only allow it if he also saw Tadashi. Naturally, Kanna and Mamoru wanted to as well, and the wolf tagged along after Yama like his new puppy, so I ended up with a larger party than expected as I knocked on the door to my son’s cabin.

I hoped he wouldn’t kill me for waking him.

“No,” came the weak howl from the other side. “It’s not morning yet.” The agreeing whines of Tadashi’s companions followed.

“Yes, but your cousins are here,” I said.

“There’s more than one?” his voice dragged like that of a drunk, but the padding of his feet toward the door followed. As he opened it, he rubbed at his eyes, yawning.

“Hello!” Manabu screamed, awakening Tadashi with a jolt. “I thought you were old, but you’re still small!

His parents scolded him, but Tadashi didn’t wear his usual rage at a remark against his appearance. Instead, he dropped to his haunches and squished the kid’s cheeks. “You look just like Dad,” he muttered.

Wataru was quick to jump in. “Or me.”

Tadashi smiled up at him. “Put a scar and an eye-patch on you, and we’d never be able to tell the two of you apart.”

Manabu’s cries of wanting a scar and eyepatch were lost on me as Yama forced a laugh. “Yeah, I couldn’t tell you all apart in the book at first.”

My spine stiffened despite my mind’s insistence that I needed to act natural. Surely Wataru was too interested in our sons being cute together to pay Yama much mind. For a moment, that seemed to be the truth. The boys introduced each other, Tadashi’s cohorts appearing behind him.

But when I glanced to Wataru, I found his eyes unfocused. “Book?” he repeated, turning to Yama.

Yama must have forgotten what he’d said, as he looked to Wataru with confusion. “Huh? Oh, yeah that sketchbook. I think it was…uh…” Panic flashed through Yama’s eyes, the look of a man who’s said too much. He didn’t realize just how much he’d said.

Wataru’s eyes shot to me like a quiver full of arrows, and with a sigh, I took a step toward my cabin. My older brother had never liked when I hid things from him, not sweets or old letters from Dad, and definitely not things I’d told him I burned long ago.

“I’ll be back in a moment,” I heard him say behind me. Three sets of footsteps trailed after me, and I couldn’t bring myself to look back at the other two. I didn’t want to know what expressions fought across Wataru’s face. No matter how many times I’d seen it, I always felt sick at the sight of pain in my brother’s eyes.

When we reached my room, I found Yama in my peripheral, his arm clutched in Wataru’s hand. A twinge of irritation ate at my chest, but I pushed it down as I retrieved the book I hated to see. The wolf had tagged along as well, closing the door behind him. He seemed harmless enough.

“Um, I’m sorry,” Yama said, releasing us from the silence. “If I said something wrong, I apologize, but why am I here?”

“Phantom hasn’t told you about his other newbloods, has he?” Wataru asked. He reached out and took the book from me as through it might fall to dust in his hands. I kept my eye on those hands to keep from looking at his face, to keep from seeing his regret.

“I didn’t want to worry him,” I said.

“You’re a terrible liar, Phantom.”

Yama’s voice cut through our tension once more. His tone tread lightly. “He told me they were killed.”

Wataru said nothing. Paper slipped across paper. His breath caught in his throat. It must have been the self-portrait. My- our little brother could capture a room with his smile. But in that sketch, it was forced. I wondered how Yama never saw it when he flipped through the pages against my wishes. I’d waited for him to ask why that one image looked so wrong against the others, but perhaps only Wataru and I could see it.

“You should tell him what really happened,” Wataru sighed as he reached the final pages. All of those were Daiba, usually pouting. He’d hating sitting still for sketches. The last one remained unfinished.

“I mean, it’s not…” Yama stopped and gnawed his lip.

“Important?” I finished with a weak smile. “Perhaps not. But I should do a better job of explaining why I’m going through all this trouble for one man. Maybe then, you’ll understand.”

Yama frowned at his toes. The wolf, brows drawn in confusion, patted his shoulder.

Taking the book from Wataru, I traced my fingers along its battered spine. “None of us wanted to be turned, but Richard especially held no desire for it. He had no stomach for blood, and he’d learned long ago to accept death. He’d been sick since childhood, so sick we didn’t know how many years or days he had left at any given time. When I forced immortality upon him, he couldn’t bear the weight of it. Until I found Daiba, he wanted to die. He put on a brave face, but he…

“Daiba was a strange case, like you. I never had any intention of keeping him around, but Richard adored him, and Daiba-” An old pain hollowed my chest. “Daiba was as oblivious as I was, but Richard lived and breathed for Daiba, so when Gido killed him, Richard fell apart. My little brother asked me to kill him, and God, that hurt.” I felt myself trying to smile through the pain, that same smile he gave me as he took my hand and led it to his chest.

As I returned the book to its hideaway, my voice fell to a whisper. “He begged me, but I couldn’t hurt him, not my little brother. So when Gido came back, there was nothing left of him. There was nothing I could do to save him because he gave himself up. He wanted oblivion, and Gido gave it to him.”

The wolf appraised me as I stepped toward Yama. I must have passed the test because the wolf moved back, allowing me to reach up and cup Yama’s face. Even then, Yama wouldn’t look at me. “Gido wants me to suffer as much as I want him dead, and to do that, he will go after you and Tadashi. I need the two of you to stay together, safe and out of harm’s way.”

To my surprise, Yama placed a hand over mine. He pressed my hand closer, leaning his cheek against it. “But why?” he murmured. “What does he have against you?”

A sigh collapsed my chest. “I sired him as well,” I said.

Yama’s eyes finally found me, wide with shock. “What?”

“I was a very poor sire at the time. I made many regrettable choices. I like to hope I’m doing better now.”

He said nothing as I brushed my thumb along his cheek. His eyes were such a warm brown, he almost looked human. He was the one I would do right by, my kind-hearted, heard-headed church boy.

Yama would _live_. I would show him the towering blocks of ice up north and the strange creatures of southern islands. I would find art, books, plays – whatever he wanted to see. God, I would find every flower in the world just for him.

“You’re too obvious, you know,” Wataru said. “ _Just_ a church boy you caused some trouble – right.”

Heat rose to my cheeks, my ears burning along with them. “Hush,” I snapped.

“Or are you really both just that oblivious?”

Yama glanced over my shoulder toward my brother in confusion. His eyes returned to me with a question that I couldn’t bring myself to answer.

“Don’t be rude to my newblood,” I said, drawing my hands away from Yama. The confusion in his eyes grew, eating at my chest.

“Then can I kiss him again?” Wataru asked. 

I spun to find him smirking, but the words had already fallen from my mouth. I played right into his hands. “No! Do not touch him!”

“So only you get to kiss him?”

“He can kiss whomever he wishes, but I can’t touch him until-” My hand slapped over my dead eye, my skin burning with each word I spoke. “Not until we’re married. That’s what he wants.”

That had come out wrong, but my tongue twisted against me. I couldn’t find the words to explain what I’d really meant.

Wataru’s smile widened into something more genuine. “I could marry you if you’d like. As a captain, I can marry sea-faring men when there are no priests around.”

I spoke in a daze. “Not…that’s not what I meant. I just… He wants to be married first, and-”

“And you want to marry him,” Wataru prompted.

“I…”

“Because you love him.”

I could feel Yama at my back, but I couldn’t gauge his reaction. I wished he would stab me or yell or anything. The idea of looking back frightened me too much, not because I feared rejection, but because I feared the unknown.

“I do,” I whispered, so softly I wasn’t certain they could hear. “I love him.”

Yama gave a quiet “oh” and nothing else.

Wataru nodded, apparently satisfied. “I just need to ensure you know what’s at stake, so don’t you dare rush in and forget.” He stepped closer, his eyes locked with mine. “He’s in Livorno.”

It felt as though a wall of glass had shattered in front of me, and I could see the sun for the first time in ages. Finally, I had an answer, one I’d needed for so long. “In Italy? Gido?”

Wataru nodded. “I know his base is there. I captured some men he’d controlled and they all confirmed it separately. They couldn’t give me an exact location because he’d done a thorough job of wiping their memories, but Shep may be able to help narrow the search. At the very least, please take him with you.”

He nodded to the wolf, and I looked back to find Shep tapping at Yama’s cheek as though trying to rouse him. Yama stared at the floor like it might open up and swallow him. Without warning, Wataru’s hand smashed down onto my shoulder in a crushing grip. “Remember, if you do anything stupid, I’m taking Yama and Tadashi. I’ll take those other two boys too.”

I had nothing to say to that. In fact, it was for the best that he take them in; otherwise, my father might.

“Since I’m sure you’ll be leaving soon, I’d better go coddle my nephew while I’ve got the chance,” he continued. “Shep, with me.”

With one last glance at Yama, Shep fell into step behind Wataru. The door shut behind them.

Before I could try to think up a way to kill the strangling silence, Yama spoke. “Okay,” he said, just like before. “Okay…okay.” His cheeks bled to pink. “We’re getting married.”

I had a feeling he’d missed something, or I had. “Ah, we don’t need to get married.”

“Don’t you want to?” He held a far-off look in his eyes as they rose to meet mine. “I accepted.”

We held each other’s gaze for a few beats as I tried to make sense of his words. “You were saying okay…to marriage?”

“Yeah.”

“But I didn’t propose.”

His brow furrowed. “Didn’t you?”

I was fairly certain I had not, but now he expected it. “Not properly,” I qualified. “Give me just a moment.”

He remained standing there in confusion as I raced out after my brother. If I was going to do this whole marriage nonsense, I would do it right.

I needed a ring.

* * *

My brother was an idiot. He always had been, idolizing our father and dreaming of becoming a pirate since childhood. Several centuries hadn’t altered that foolishness.

He was also much easier to lead along than he realized.

“I need a ring.” He spoke breathlessly, his hands messing his hair. “I’ll need one for me too, but I can get that later. I just need his now.”

I held up a hand, and, for once, he stopped at my command. “Why do you need rings?” I asked.

His brows furrowed with equal parts distress and confusion. “Yama expects me to propose, or he thinks I already did, so I need to make sure I do it right.”

He’d dragged me into the empty galley, muttering about how he needed to speak with me immediately. I was starting to wonder if he just didn’t want me to see Tadashi. This was not of immediate import. This was just him being unable to cope with his feelings, like he’d reverted back to his teen years.

I didn’t have the willpower to deal with that again.

“But you didn’t propose?”

He shook his head. “It was a misunderstanding.”

“Then tell him as much.”

“No, I have to go through with it now.” It was the first concrete thing I’d gotten out of him. He sounded so resolute despite his fidgeting hands.

“You want to?”

“Yes.” He seemed to speak to himself, and his back straightened.

Still, it seemed I would have to pry it out of him. “Then why are you nervous?”

“I’ve never proposed before.”

My eyes rolled up, reaching for a memory. “Didn’t you propose to Warrius Zero?”

Silence bit at us for a moment. It was clear from the look in his eye that I’d struck a nerve. “Successfully – I’ve never proposed successfully.”

“Alright,” I sighed, waving off his anger. “Let me get this straight. Yama said yes when he…assumed you had proposed? You didn’t really, but now you’ve decided to go through with it because you do wish to marry him.”

As though he’d just realized how stupid all of it was, his anxiety returned in spades. “Do you think it’s too fast?”

I bit my tongue to keep from asking how I should know. I’d just met Yama, and I had no idea how long they’d been together. They had strange ways of acting around each other. Their arguments had been troublesome, though I wasn’t certain how well that reflected their usual interactions. Phantom always became cruel when talk turned to Gido. The man twisted his emotions, though Phantom had been quick to apologize to Yama, even if it took some prompting from me.

I shrugged. “He did say you weren’t even friends. It seems like you don’t trust him with anything, so that must be why.”

Phantom’s eye lowered under his shame. “I just don’t want him to think any lower of me than he does already. He thinks I’m a terrible sire, and I keep letting him get hurt. I just want to protect him and make him happy, but I’m his sire and his captain, and sometimes I’m just an ass. I can never seem to find the right words when it comes to him.”

I breathed a sigh through my nose, not wanting him to hear. “Well, if you can admit it, that’s something.”

Truthfully, I had no doubts that they were rushing into things, but I’d seen the way they looked at each other. Neither of them seemed to notice, such naïve fools. Phantom’s expression melted to pure adoration when he met Yama’s eyes, and Yama couldn’t hide anything with his blush writing his feelings across his face.

But I’d been the one to pressure them into this, partially under the guise of a joke, partially under the guise of a dutiful big brother nabbing his little brother a date. None of that was the truth. I wasn’t concerned with Phantom’s love life or even happiness, not right now, not when he kept sprinting toward his own death.

I needed Phantom to love Yama because that kept him grounded. I needed Phantom to look at his family before he rushed off to fight Gido alone, to understand what he would leave behind if he wasn’t careful.

I wasn’t enough. Our father certainly wasn’t enough. Even Tadashi- god, even his son wasn’t enough. But maybe Yama would be enough to save him.

A false smile cracked onto my face. “You’re sure you’re not doing this just to get laid?”

He looked ready to ram my head into one of the tables. “Are you going to help or not?”

I almost couldn’t recall what he’d asked for in the first place. “You need me to get your ring for you? I don’t exactly carry an assortment with me, though I hear posey rings are all the rage nowadays.”

“I just need your help picking one out. I have plenty.”

Undoubtedly most of these rings had come off corpses from their pirating raids. I hoped he didn’t let Yama onto that fact.

“You could get one at your next port,” I said.

“No, that’s too far away,” he said. “I need one now.”

Of course, his next port would be Livorno. Once he got there, he would never have a mindset to go shopping. If I was going to make this happen, to force these two together too quickly, I would have to get them hitched now.

“Well, what does he like?”

Phantom’s eye shifted back and forth as though reading, his hand clutching his chin. “I don’t know,” he said at length.

“You’re not making the best case for yourself.”

Phantom’s frown deepened to a scowl, but I caught the glint of worry in his eye. “He likes flowers. He’s not much of an Earthly possession type. He grew up in a church.”

“Then simple is best – a band, maybe a single stone.”

Despite his pinched brows, he nodded. “This is so strange. I’ve been alive for so damn long, and I’ve never been married. God, why am I so nervous?”

Finally, my smile felt real again. I pressed up on my toes to kiss his forehead. “You are good at sleeping around,” I murmured into his bangs, grinning.

He accepted my affection with a humorless stare. “You’re one to talk.”

“Hey, marriage is between one man and whomever else he and his spouse are up for. Now weren’t you in a rush or something?”

He spat a curse like a man who’d dropped something overboard and rushed out without another word. As much as I wanted to finally talk with my nephew properly, when I stepped into the hall, I turned back the way I’d come. Shep perked up at the sight of me, having not moved since I was ripped away.

“I just need to confirm something,” I said, not that he seemed concerned. He followed as always.

Yama sat on the bed, his chin in his palms and his expression pinched. It relaxed for an instant as he looked toward me, but upon realizing I wasn’t Phantom, his stress returned. “You don’t look thrilled for someone who’s engaged,” I said.

“Do you think it’ll work?” he asked.

“What?”

“You think he’ll be more careful if we’re married?”

I froze mid-step. With that question, he’d changed my view of him completely. He was the smallest fraction of my age, yet he’d seen through my scheme. Even more astounding – he was willing to play along.

“I hope so,” I said as I readjusted my stance. “It would be best if you could convince him to take along some of the crew, Shep and Tochiro at the very least. You and Tadashi should stay out of it, though. I hope you understand.”

He gave a nod that made regret twist in my gut. He shouldn’t have been so willing to be a pawn.

“Are you alright with this? With marrying him so suddenly?”

“I think so,” he said. Beyond a gentle sadness, I couldn’t read his expression.

“Do you love him?”

He seemed to shrink under the weight of the question. “I don’t know,” he whispered. “I hope I’m not leading him on. I don’t want to hurt him.”

A smile tugged at the corner of my mouth. Even his worries were enough to confirm it, yet he didn’t see it. He was young, even younger than my brother would always be. His cheek warmed as I placed a kiss to it.

“You’ll do fine,” I said as I pulled back to find him tugging at a tuft of his bangs. “I just hope you don’t feel too pressured into anything. This will be Phantom’s first time being married too, so do your best to keep him in line.”

He gave another nod, still frowning. “So you aren’t coming to that port with us?”

I tried to answer, but no sound came from my throat. I couldn’t grasp whether I intended to say yes or no. Phantom would throw a fit if I tagged along, and the idea of dropping anchor anywhere near Gido made my skin crawl. If he went anywhere near my sons, I would… God, I didn’t know what I’d do. I didn’t want to think about it.

But Phantom stood a much better chance with me at his side. As good as we were at fighting each other, we were unstoppable as allies.

In the end, I left Yama without an answer. I left him to Phantom’s nervous, stumbling proposal. The ring was nice, a little gold band with an unassuming green stone. Yama’s smile seemed genuine, and it wasn’t as though he could fake a blush. I would have been happy to marry them, but Phantom was in too much of a rush, even then.

We parted before the sun came up. For once, he hugged me back in farewell. Tadashi was pale, his movements flighty as he tried to soothe a teary-eyed Manabu. When Shep patted Manabu’s head in farewell, my son burst into sobs. It took a great deal of coaxing from Bulge to calm him.

Yama stood in silence, spinning the little ring around his finger. His face gave nothing away.

When they left, that should have been the end of it. We would cross their path on their return trip and retrieve Shep, but we had jobs to take elsewhere until then.

That should have been the end of it, until my father’s ship appeared on the horizon along with the moon of the next night.

“Phantom’s engaged,” I said in greeting as I righted myself on his deck.

He frowned at his floorboards, inspecting for damage. I doubted he would be able to tell what chips were new considering how old the ship was. I was lucky they hadn’t shattered under me.

“Engaged?” he echoed. “To the church boy?” He stood leaning against the mast, a bottle of wine held limp in one hand.

“His name is Yama,” I said.

“I know.”

“He doesn’t know you’re following him.”

He gave his usual grin. “Then I’m doing a good job. Paid off some of the sirens to keep ‘em quiet. If he knew I was tailing him, he’d turn right around and shoot my poor ship full of holes.” He took a deep drink of wine, lowering the bottle with a sigh. “Care to join me?”

“I can’t put my family in danger,” I said.

His cockiness gone, he focused on the horizon. “Oh? But aren’t they always?”

I had no answer for that, so he continued.

“You’re a good brother no matter what choice you make. I understand either way. But I’m a terrible father.” Despite his attempt at a smile, pain softened his eye. “So I’m going to look after my boys.”

Boys? Perhaps he’d already accepted Yama as part of the family, or he was talking about Tadashi, or he was drunk and had forgotten his place in time.

“Then I suppose I should go too,” I sighed. “Someone has to make sure you don’t do anything stupid.”

He flashed another winning smile. “Good luck.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shep does his best, standing awkwardly in the background and judging them.


	20. Usus Est Magister Optimus

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's a brief engagement.

Shep wasn’t much different whether he was human or wolf. Either way, his eyes were gentle, always calm and knowing as he listened to me. He rarely responded to anything but yes-or-no questions, but something about his presence was comforting.

As a wolf, his head took up most of my lap, and the rest of him took up most of the bed. I could tell he liked being pet because his tail thumped against the blankets in a lazy rhythm. So I scratched the tips of my fingers along the top of his head, down his back. His coarse fur numbed my skin after a while.

“You know, I never thought much about getting married,” I said. “I thought it wouldn’t happen, figured I’d become a priest. I don’t think I want a big wedding, not on a pirate ship anyway. I guess I just don’t like the idea of everyone watching and jeering. Does that mean I’m ashamed? If I’m ashamed to marry Harlock, I really shouldn’t go through with this.”

Shep’s milky eyes flicked up to mine. Mii-kun had somehow taken to him as well and lounged on top of him, a little striped mass in the sea of dark fur. Shep took no mind, even when the cat kneaded his skin. I couldn’t help but wonder what he thought and felt. Sometimes, it seemed like he didn’t understand me despite listening to my every word.

I imagined him asking if I really wanted to go through with this, like Wataru had.

I considered it again, a proper wedding, with all the pomp and ceremony. My mind doubled back against it – the picture of a priest marrying two men, two demons, inside a church. I couldn’t even set foot near a church. And without that, what was a wedding? How did the vows work without God?

The deck had no pews, so no one would be able to sit. And I had no flowers, no live ones anyway, so I couldn’t have a bouquet. “But if I have the bouquet, am I the girl?” I muttered.

“No,” I answered myself. “There isn’t a girl. Not like I’d be wearing a dress, but then who’s the bride? I am the one wearing the ring, so it must be me.”

Harlock found me still puzzling over all of it, Shep dozing in my lap with his pink tongue poking out.

“Tadashi said you haven’t had much to drink over the past week,” Harlock said. He stood leaning against the doorframe, his arms crossed, his brows drawn.  “Are you feeling alright?”

“Has it been a week?” I asked myself, too low for him to hear. A more important question sprang to mind. “I’m fine. Actually, I was wondering – should I start calling you Phantom? Won’t we both be Harlock after we get married?”

It seemed the thought had just occurred to him as well, and his mouth hung open as he searched for an answer. “I suppose…that’s up to you. Admittedly, it is odd hearing you call me Phantom. Really, only my brother and my father do.”

“Guess that would make it weird.” I felt myself smiling. As I tried to figure out why, I remembered how I’d said his name when he bit me. My smile faded as heat rose to my cheeks. If I said Phantom like that…

“You don’t have to take my last name either, but you’re welcome to it,” he continued. He didn’t seem to have noticed my distress, lost in his own thoughts. “Yama Harlock sounds…” He trailed off as a smile sneaked onto his lips. “I want to say it sounds good, but I guess it’s an odd fit, isn’t it?”

I swore my heart skipped a beat as he gave a breathy laugh, but he didn’t seem to feel it. I turned my attention back to the snoozing werewolf. My legs were starting to fall asleep. “It’s nice when you do that,” I said.

“Hm?”

“When you laugh - it’s nice.”

My cheeks felt hot as silence settled over us, but I couldn’t bring myself to regret saying it. I did want to hear him laugh more. Maybe if he knew that, he would.

My chin jerked up as I found his hands settling on the sides of my face, turning me to face him. His lips pressed into a thin line, his brows pinched, and something shone in his eye. “May I kiss you?” he asked.

My prickling legs seemed to infect the rest of my skin, covering me in a jittery buzz. My insides felt like they were turning inside out. I wondered why asking should matter. We’d kissed before. There wasn’t much point in asking, yet something about the fact that he had made me feel feverish. It must have been the look in his eyes, something desperate yet warm.

I mouthed a yes, no sound coming from my throat. His lips found mine in the sort of slow, careful kiss he’d tried the first time. But this time, I had no mind to shrink away. Just as my eyelids started to drift shut, he pulled back. Surely he hadn’t been there for more than a second.

He breathed a sigh as his hands slipped from my cheeks. “I was worried if my first attempt was during the wedding, I would smack our foreheads together or something, but it’s good to know things will work out fine.” He looked away as though deep in thought, trying to hide the pink tinge to his cheeks.

Perhaps I’d taken some of his courage, as a surge of it led me to speak. “Do you want a ceremony?”

“Hm?” He met my gaze again. “Don’t you?”

I failed to keep annoyance out of my tone. “That’s not what I asked.”

He gave another hum in thought, frowning. “I can’t say I care much for the idea, not here anyway. If we are going to have one, I want to wait until we can have it somewhere nice. I thought you might like a nice field or something, somewhere secluded but with plenty of flowers.” He nodded along with his ideas until he noticed my heart all aflutter in my chest. It felt like it wanted out. “Do you like that idea?” he asked, smiling wide enough that I could see his fangs.

“I do,” I realized, answering with my own smile. “And we can have some music.”

“And dancing.”

“Oh, I’m a terrible dancer.” At my laugh, Shep’s ears flicked.

“I can lead,” Harlock said. “Honestly, most of the crew are terrible dancers too.”

“Can your brother’s family come? And your dad?”

His irritation seemed exaggerated as he crossed his arms with a huff. “I suppose.”

“Just don’t start any fights.”

“Ah, you’re too cruel. I only promise to try my best not to, but all bets are off if they start trying to steal you again.”

I found my cheeks aching from my smile. He was trying so hard to look aloof, but his hair was a mess from the winds up on deck, and he couldn’t hide the playful amusement from his voice. And I loved him.

I loved him.

Damn.

His eye widened as tears began to spill from mine. I laughed as I wiped them away, but he rushed forward, his hands hovering by my face as he tried to understand. “What’s wrong?” he asked.

“Nothing, nothing,” I said, still laughing. I must have looked disgusting, puffy-eyed with my nose shining red, but for every tear I wiped away, another came. “God, they just won’t stop.”

“What is it? Why are you crying?” He sounded so stressed. He was worried for me, always worried.

“I love you,” I said with a wobbly smile.

His eye traced over every line of my face as though he could read me, but he couldn’t make sense of it either. “I’m sorry?” he said.

“No-no, I’m happy.”

“You are?” He combed his hand back through his hair with a sigh. “Well, that’s good, I guess. As long as you’re alright. I love you too.”

Hearing him say it gave me the same rush as the first time, the same ache in my chest and buzz in my head. I couldn’t remember the last time someone else said those words to me.

Shep woke then to find me a crying mess, and it took several minutes of convincing and holding him in place to stop him from lunging at Harlock. But it didn’t take long to coax him into sleeping in Tadashi’s room for the day. He adored the younger-looking boys, even Meowdar, who grumbled about how much he hated dogs.

Mii-kun hopped up as soon as Shep rose and trotted after the wolf. I’d become second fiddle to a giant heat source, though Mii-kun still came yowling to me for food.

I stood in order to stretch the stiffness from my legs, but my feet were so numbed by thousands of needles that my legs dropped out from under me. I gave a squeak of a scream in surprise before Harlock caught me around my waist and sat me back down on the bed.

“Are you alright?” he asked, a smile showing through his confusion.

“My legs fell asleep,” I huffed.

He chuckled as he took my hands and helped me stand once again. I could have let go of him once I had my footing, the feeling steadily returning to my legs, but I kept my hands in his. “Do you know the vows?” I asked.

“Not really. Pirates and vampires both tend to write their own vows. The church ones are a bit obnoxious, all that nonsense about women obeying their husbands and such.”

“So what do you vow?” I asked, looking up from our hands to his eye, that pretty gold ring I’d aimed to capture. It seemed I’d won it after all.

“I vow to do everything in my power to keep you safe and happy and to show you a world you’ll love. Is that acceptable?”

“I think so,” I answered with a smile.

“And your vow?”

“I vow to stay by your side and love you and protect you from your own stupidity-”

He snickered.

“-‘til death do us part and all that.”

“And all that,” he agreed. “What’s the question before we say ‘I do’ again?”

“You say ‘I do’ to all the questions.”

“Alright, but what’s the one that actually matters?”

“Do you, Phantom Harlock-”

“It’s Phantom Franklin Harlock.”

I had to bite my lips to stifle a laugh. “Oh my God, is it? Should I call you Franklin?”

“Please don’t.”

“Alright-alright. Do you, Phantom Franklin Harlock, take me, Yama, to be your…unlawfully wedded husband as long as we both shall live.”

“Humans are morbid,” he said. “I do.”

“Now you say it.”

“All of it? God, alright, do you, Yama, take me, Harlock, to be your husband? Something, something immortality.”

I resisted the urge to smack him. “I do.”

“So I can kiss you now?”

“You may.”

The kiss was deeper than the first, caution thrown to the wind. He held my face and crushed his lips to mine, almost knocking me over. I could feel his heart racing alongside mine, and a strange, heated rush came along with it, from my head to my toes and back again. When he pulled away, we were both gasping for air.

“Ah, damn,” he said, rubbing his hand against his face.

“What is it?” I asked, hoping he might be able to explain my spinning head.

“It’s just…it’s been a while, and I may have gotten too into that, and our hearts… I’m just really turned on.”

The expression seemed right for my feelings, almost like when he’d bitten me. I wanted him to kiss me again, wanted his hands all over me, not just on my face. “What do our hearts have to do with it?” I asked.

“Well, you know, when they’re synced in situations like this, it heightens our emotions.” He furiously ran his hands through his messy hair.

“Then kiss me again,” I said.

He froze. “What?” he asked at length.

“We’re married now, right? So kiss me again.”

It took no more prompting than that for him to take hold of my chin and lead our lips together once more. The harsh breaths from his nose warmed my cheek as his tongue traced my lips. He seemed to understand how to kiss, so at least one of us did. The moment I opened my mouth against his, he toyed with my tongue in a forceful game. I tried to mind the way he took over, acting like I would follow.

But I did follow. It fit that he tasted like wine because I felt drunk off that kiss. My fingers tangled in his hair to pull him closer, even when we spent a moment apart to gasp for breath. His hands slipped from my back to my hips, his eye shining with lust. “You’re alright with this?” he breathed as his forehead met mine. Our noses squished together for a moment, forcing me to smile.

“Too late to go back now,” I said. I almost felt content to just have him close, his hands and his breath against me. But as he leaned back in, I craved more. His hands crushed my hips and pulled them up against his own. This time the kiss tasted of blood, his tongue bleeding from either his fangs or mine. As the heat of his tongue led me to follow every demanding twist and curl, the taste left me moaning against him. He tasted better than any human or wine, so sweet I ached for more of it.

He broke away again, his own blood trailing from the corner of his mouth as it curled into a smile. “Do I taste as good as I smell?”

“God,” I panted. “You taste better.”

The triumph in his eye should have irritated me, but in that moment I fell in love with everything about him. The haze of lust clouded my mind until I craved anything he could give me. If I had to go to hell because of what I was, I at least wanted to feel good before I burned.

Between my legs, I felt an emptiness, a drive for friction and anything else I could get. “Harlock,” I begged. My hands slipped from his hair to his chest, digging into his shirt.

“What is it?” he asked. Even as I pulled him closer, he pushed me further away. That primal need to press myself against him was stolen as he led me to sit on the bed.

I kept my hold on his shirt, so he couldn’t escape. Our faces remained close enough for me to feel the heat of his breath. “Don’t make me say this out loud,” I hissed.

That smug bastard flashed a smirk, his hands sliding up beneath my shirt instead of down where I wanted them. “How am I supposed to know what you want if you won’t tell me?”

His thumbs rubbed circles over my stomach as he held me in place. The motion infected my hips, twisting in rhythm with his touch. Without meaning to, I loosened my grip, and he leaned in to nuzzle my neck. “I want-”

He cut me off with a bite. My grip tightened so roughly on his shirt that it tore. “Y-you ass,” I managed through the uneven gasps and cries clawing up my throat. Before one could escape, I punctured my lip with a fang.

The bite was just like the first time, pure heat and pleasure running through my veins. It made my stomach squirm with jolts of lightning. My hold on my lip couldn’t last. “Please touch me,” I demanded through a gasp. His heart hammered alongside mine, the rhythm so strong I felt I could fall into it like the ocean currents.

He released my neck with a contented sigh. As he ran his tongue along the wound to catch escaping blood, a shiver tore down my spine, and my eyes rolled back. Before I could recover, he kissed me again, just long enough to lick the blood from my lower lip. “Where do you want me to touch you?” he asked, so sweet I couldn’t tell if he was genuine.

Regardless, I was tired of playing. Grabbing his hand, I ripped it from my stomach and pressed it between my legs. My attempt to snap a biting remark was lost the moment his hand cupped around the bulge and rubbed against it as easily as the waves lolled the ship back and forth. I grabbed his shoulder to keep from falling back.

Though I caught whatever embarrassing sound attempted to leave my throat, I couldn’t stop my chest from heaving or my eyes from rolling back. My skin burned with heat, my hips grinding up in rhythm with his hand. There was no smugness in his voice when he spoke, little more than a breath. “Does it feel good?”

“Of course-” A squeak cut through my words. “-it does.”

He leaned in to let his lips brush my ear. “Do you want more?”

“Yes,” I sighed. If there was more than this bliss, I _needed_ it. “Please, give it to me.”

He hummed his agreement. “We won’t go all the way just yet. I don’t think you’d last that long.” As he spoke, he breathed that warm laugh from his chest that I loved so much, even when I whined my disapproval of his hand letting go. “Give me a second,” he said as he loosened my belt. “Lift your hips.”

Once he pulled my pants down, I did realize how much I’d allowed myself to be exposed. My hand finally released his shirt just to cover my eyes. Amusement bubbled in Harlock’s voice as he asked me what was wrong.

I shushed him. “Get on with things before I hit you. Don’t just stare.”

“Well, spread your legs a little.” My knees were pressed together hard enough to make the bones ache, so his request became a challenge. He assisted me in easing them apart by nudging his fingers between my knees. “You’re sure you’re alright, Yama?” he asked. “You want this?”

I wasn’t completely sure what I agreed to to begin with. Peering through my fingers, I found him kneeling between my legs. The heat of his breath brushed over the head of my dick, and I sucked in a gasp. “I do. I do.” The words seemed to ache against my chest. I forced my hand down from my face, so I could see the warm gold of his eye. “Please.”

His tongue ran across the head, and I forgot which way was up. Then he started lower, up the shaft so that my legs trembled. I had to keep a hand on the bed to stay upright, but the other tangled in his hair. With the last of my sense, I kept my grip loose enough not to hurt. His tongue ran up from the base, and I saw stars. The heat of his tongue was like fire against my skin, and it left me wanting more of it every second.

“Harlock,” I pleaded. I didn’t know what I was asking for, but I had to have it. My cock throbbed for it.

“Of course,” he murmured in answer. He parted his lips and took the head in his mouth. My elbow buckled beneath me, leaving my back against the bed as the wet heat of his mouth took in my length.

The flush consuming my face burned out across the rest of my skin. The tips of his fangs pricked me, but the pain added sparks to my squirming gut. My hips writhed under him with each slow raise of his lips. The pounding of my heart spread down through my limbs as I clawed at the blanket and tugged at his hair.

For something that would send me to Hell, it sure felt like Heaven.

“Harlock, that feels…” Lust and love weighted my voice. I couldn’t see through the blurry haze of my lashes but I could feel every movement of his tongue and the soft insides of his cheeks. Undoubtedly he’d done this countless times before, but I didn’t care. It meant he was good at it.

I didn’t want it to end, but my body broiled to its breaking point. My fingertips twitched with my heartbeat, and he sped up just enough to leave me breathless. My climax roared through my head and pounded in my heart. My spine curled toward him just as my toes did, and I whimpered more than moaned.

The overwhelming pleasure of it faded, leaving me flat on my back and staring at the overhead beams. Without prior instruction on the formalities of the whole thing, I felt at a loss. “Thank you?” I attempted.

My face burned from his laugh. “I aim to please,” he said.

When I finally brought myself to look at him, things were…distressingly clean. Somehow, my face became hotter. “Did you swallow?” I choked.

He shrugged. “Easier than cleaning up.”

Recalling my crash course in sex with the boys, I’d been told I should not swallow because that was not blood and therefore I would puke as a newblood. I remembered wanting to puke then regardless.

The boys had also stressed reciprocating. “Like, an eye for an eye,” they’d said as I tried to think about the source of that saying instead. “Except an orgasm for an orgasm.”

“Alright,” I said as I sat up and searched for my pants. “What should I do?”

“What do you mean?” Harlock asked with a blank stare. “You should probably go get some blood to drink.”

“No, what should I do for you?” He deserved something in return, and while I doubted I could live up to what he could do, I wanted to give him something so he could feel good. The more I thought about it, the more I wanted to touch him, and clearly he needed it. It was all I could do to keep my eyes from lingering between his legs.

His stare seemed to become blanker. “You don’t need to do anything, Yama. I can take care of things.”

“But I want to.”

He hissed a few curses, slapping a hand across his face. As he attempted to pace, I grabbed my pants from the floor and hopped back into them. Then I stepped in front of him, grabbed him by his cravat, and yanked him down into a kiss as I jammed my thigh between his legs.

He trembled with a shudder, his eye rolling back. I kept him busy by grinding my leg between his, like I’d seen him do to Zero, until I managed to untie his cravat. I’d torn his shirt up to the collar earlier, so I didn’t need to remove it to get to his neck.

I’d never bitten anyone on the neck, but I didn’t need to guess where my fangs should go. They fit into his vein like they were part of him, and his blood pooled in my mouth. I lost all thought of my goals then, too enthralled by the taste of him. I could feel his heartbeat matched with mine once again, each pulse pressed to my fangs.

“Yama,” he panted, his voice weak with pleasure. I wanted to ask him to say my name again, to say it over and over until it was all I could hear. He shifted against me, his heart starting to race along with his panting breaths. “Yama, I need to come.”

But I couldn’t bring myself to do anything but lick the wound in his neck, even when I couldn’t drink anymore. I felt him take my hand and curl it around his cock. He was so warm. He led my movements as I nuzzled his neck, purring his name.

“I love you,” I hummed in a drunken stupor.

He seemed to choke, and his hips bucked into my hand. “Oh, Yama, I-I-”

I felt his release on my hand as he shuddered and moaned, and then we were stuck like that for a moment. 

The awkwardness caught up to us.

“I’m starving,” he muttered. “Let’s, um, let’s clean up and get some blood.”

“Right,” I said, stepping away and wiping my hand on my pants. They were already ruined. “Sounds good. Let me change first.”

He glanced down at his shirt. “It’s about time I bought new clothes again anyway.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gotta get straight to that honeymoon. Lord knows if they'll have time for one later.


	21. Veni, Vidi, Vici

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did I use bad French for the sole purpose of entertaining my pals in the French fanbase?  
> The answer is yes. Yes, I totally did that.

The port’s oldblood looked young except for his shock of white hair. It seemed to shine a pale green in the moonlight, though that could have been from his strange green hat. It looked like it might fall off his head at any moment. When Kei saw me staring at it, she whispered that it was called a “buh-ray.”

“Some French thing,” she muttered. “I don’t think this guy’s Italian. Italians are usually nice.”

The whole crew seemed irritated with him from the moment he snapped a less-than-friendly greeting at Harlock. Kei was probably right about him because he didn’t speak in Italian, though he did have a thick French accent.

Things had devolved between him and Harlock quickly.

“I do not allow pirates,” he said, his eyes dull with disapproval.

Harlock tried to keep his tone smooth, but his brow began to furrow. “We most commonly attack other pirates and never innocents. I can have my men not drink from any humans if you’d like, and we won’t kill any livestock.”

The oldblood shook his head. “We can trade with you here, but I will not bend the rules based solely on your word. We have enough trouble here as things are, and the fact that you came tonight is especially questionable. ”

A moment’s curiosity tinged Harlock’s features. “I did not come here to trade. I’m looking for someone. What is so important about tonight?”

“That does not concern you.”

Harlock didn’t hesitate. “This trouble of yours – does it have to do with hypnosis? People going missing perhaps?”

The oldblood’s jaw snapped shut. His expression alone answered. “What do you know?” he asked like an interrogator with little patience to spare.

“I’m looking for the one responsible. I aim to deal with him.”

“This is my city. Therefore it is my job to punish, no? As an outsider-“

Harlock produced the gleaming Piece of Eight from his pocket, holding it between two fingers like a playing card. “You are young for an oldblood,” he said. “I recommend you let me handle this. If you’d wanted to do it yourself, you should have taken care of things already.”

The men working on deck rushed to go back to their duties, as though trying to hide the obvious truth that we’d all been listening in. “Oh, we’re going to get kicked out at this rate,” Kei sighed.

Like Zero, one of the oldblood’s sleeves hung empty, tucked into his coat, and like Zero, he looked ready to punch Harlock with his remaining hand. Before he could do so or spit some sort of rebuttal, Tochiro appeared between the two men, pushing them apart.

“Alright-alright, enough with all this- Um, what is it? _Regarder en chiens de faïence_?”

The oldblood gave him an odd look, more of confusion than offense.

“You’ll have to excuse his manners,” Tochiro continued to the oldblood. “He’s all- what do you call it? _À la côte_?”

“Your accent is terrible,” the oldblood said, a smile tugging at his lips.

“Yeah, well so’s yours,” Tochiro said with a shrug. “Look, this is a bit of a family matter for my friend here.” He cocked a thumb back toward Harlock. “We’ll try to be out of your hair as quick as we can. _Monsieur_ …?”

“Léopard,” the oldblood answered. “And you are?”

“Tochiro Oyama, and this is Harlock.”

Harlock offered a glare in greeting, which Léopard returned.

“I know of Harlock,” he said.

“Well, whatever bad things you’ve heard were probably his dad and not him,” Tochiro said. “They’re pretty much identical. Harlock’s a good guy, honest. Eh, _l’habit ne fait pas le moine?_ ”

Léopard breathed a sigh through his nose. “My city is hosting many guests tonight. One of the wealthy families is hosting a masquerade, and those rich bastards brought good money. Some of that goes to the poor workers who help set up the dance. If this goes well, we may see more of it in the future. So if you interfere in any way and give my city a bad name, you will be severely punished. Do not make me regret this.”

“I will not,” Harlock said with a nod.

Kei grabbed hold of my upper arm. I found her eyes shining with mischief as I turned toward her. “We have to go,” she said.

“Where?”

“To the masquerade. Oh, I haven’t been to one in ages. They’re so fun.” Her eyes darted into the crowd of men on deck. Once she spotted her next victim, she dragged me along with her to where Tadashi, Tetsuro, and Meowdar stood, Shep at their feet. “Tadashi! Did you hear about the masquerade?”

“The Italians do enjoy their extravagant parties,” Meowdar said.

“That’s the thing with the masks, right?” Tetsuro added. “Have you been to one, Tadashi?”

Tadashi nodded. “Just the commoner ones though. Venice has a lot of them. I don’t know about going to one held by a bunch of rich people. We don’t have invitations or even masks.”

“Oh, I’m sure we could buy masks in town,” Kei crowed. “And when have we ever worried about invitations before? Come on, you know you want to go and dance.”

“But I’d have to dance with girls,” Tadashi huffed. “You know how those formal dances are.”

“You could wear a dress and dance with your boyfriends. Nobody would know the difference. I’ll wear a suit for sure. Come on, I know the captain won’t let me go without a group.”

I seemed to be the only one who jumped when Harlock spoke up behind us. “Why do you think I would let you go at all? You should remain on the ship.”

“It won’t hurt, Dad,” Tadashi said. “There’ll be more of us together than just you, Shep, and Tochiro, so you’ll be worse off than us. We’ll be fine.”

I wondered if his change of heart was because of the dress idea or because he didn’t like when Harlock told him what to do.

“Yeah, Captain, it sounds fun,” Tetsuro added.

“I’m tired of being on a ship that smells like wet dog,” Meowdar said with a pointed look toward Shep. “I would like to go out into the city.”

“You worried someone else will sweep Yama off his feet?” Kei asked with a grin.

Harlock’s stare remained unfazed. “Hardly.”

I wasn’t certain I wanted to go. I didn’t know a thing about formal dancing, and the last time I was crammed in a space with so many humans, I almost lost my head. But the others seemed eager, and I had a feeling I could convince Harlock to let us go.  A thought clicked in my head. If Tadashi and Kei had been to a masquerade before, surely Harlock had as well.

“Do you want to go?” I asked him.

His surprise stopped him from answering right away. “I…really don’t have time. We shouldn’t stay longer than necessary, and I don’t need to upset Léopard further.”

Kei must have caught onto my ploy, the gleam in her eye narrowing in on Harlock. “If you’re wearing a mask, how could he know that you attended? Besides, with all the gossip that goes on at those things, maybe you could learn something.”

Before he could put his foot down in opposition, I spoke up again. My cheeks burned as I forced the words out. “I’d like for you to go. I guess we couldn’t dance together, but I’d have more fun if you were there.”

Tadashi snickered as his father struggled to respond, anxious as a sinner in confession. “I must…search the city tonight, but if I am unsuccessful, I will check on all of you. Yes. I will have to check in and make certain that you are all alright, so I will go…later…perhaps. But for now, I really need to be on my way. Shep,” he called down to the wolf. “Let’s go.”

Shep rose, slow and aching, as I raised my hands to meet him. His tail wagged as I ruffled the fur of his cheeks. “You take care of him, alright?” I said. “Make sure he stays out of trouble.”

“I could say the same for you,” Harlock said. “Behave.” When I turned toward him, he stole a kiss, walking away before I could begin to respond to his lips against mine. Shep trotted after him.

Tadashi gave a snort. “You’ve got him wrapped around your little finger.”

Tetsuro nudged his shoulder against Tadashi’s. “You do too.”

“The captain’s a softie,” Kei said. “Don’t let him fool you.”

She dressed me in my nicest outfit, adding one of Harlock’s frilliest cravats and one of his nice cloaks. It was much too big on me, but Kei waved that away. “It’s all about costume,” she said.

Hers was much like mine, though she tied her hair back and hid it in a tri-pointed hat. I worried she still looked a bit too feminine for her disguise to work, but Meowdar said that the two of us both appeared in-between genders. “You would look nice in a dress, Yama,” he said. I did my best to take it as a compliment.

Tadashi did not wear a dress, and I had to bite my tongue to keep from calling him cute in his formal wear. His really did look like a costume, like a child playing dress up. Tetsuro and Meowdar had no such reservations and were quick to coo over him.

We all had to rush after him as he stormed off the ship in a huff.

Kei was quick to find a stall selling masks. Despite her disguise, she showed little interest in the plainer men’s masks, and I couldn’t blame her. The women’s masks tended to be more colorful and extravagant. The owner called the ones that simply circled the eyes Colombinas, and we all gravitated toward them. Tadashi found a nice green one with gold trim. Tetsuro picked a similar one in red. Kei’s had fragments of every color like stained glass. I didn’t have much of a choice for mine, as Meowdar picked it along with his own. Everyone else agreed with his decision, so I was left with no room to argue.

The shopkeeper called ours Gattos, which was all I could understand of him. They covered more than the Colombinas, over our foreheads and up into pointed cat ears. The small nose pieces resembled that of a cat as well, though the nose of mine was covered with a lace flower, like the rest of it. Dozens of a golden lace flowers bloomed across it. Meowdar’s was covered in music sheet patterns and shades of blue.

I thought I looked a bit silly, but we all did. I guessed that was the fun of it.

It didn’t take long to find the manor hosting the masquerade. The place bustled with people, all in much fancier clothes than our own. They strode in the front door, seeming to glide with their practiced walks. I’d seen little wealth in my time, and the way the rich held themselves seemed inhuman. They paid so little mind to their surroundings, as though nothing else mattered but what was directly in front of them.

“I’d pick so many pockets if that Léopard guy wouldn’t chew us out,” Tetsuro muttered.

“A few won’t hurt,” Kei said. “Now then, there’s our entrance.” She pointed to a second-floor balcony on the side of the manor. I felt certain there was no way for me to make such a jump.

I was right. Kei didn’t even let me attempt it. She scooped me up into a carry and raced toward the wall as though to crash into it. At the last second, she planted her feet onto the wall and scaled up the side for a few paces before tossing me over the balcony’s edge. The boys scrambled to catch me before I could hit the floor, and I wheezed out the scream I’d been holding.

Once Kei joined us, she made quick work of picking the lock, and I crept after everyone else with my heart pounding in my throat. Servants milled about the dim second floor, but Kei and the boys dipped and dodged their way around the ornate furniture with little hesitation. At times, I swore the servants should have been able to see us darting about, until I remembered what it was like not being able to see in the dark.

Once we reached the main hall, we straightened our backs and appeared as though we’d been with the rest of the guests all along. None of the gossiping ladies or lords batted an eye at our sudden appearance. I walked by them after the others, trying to match their easy smiles. The rich all smelled a bit too sweet. It burned my nose, but at least it kept them from smelling appetizing.

The end of the hall opened into a ballroom big enough to house three of my churches. Chandeliers I’d only ever seen in drawings glittered overhead like strung ice. The people on the floor below stood in lines, stepping around each other to the tune of the sweeping string instruments. Everything glittered in a sea of light and color.

“Fantastic, isn’t it?” Kei asked, grinning.

“It is easy to forget the slums a few streets over in a place like this,” Meowdar said.

Tadashi smirked. “Hopefully they’ll forget their rings and watches too.”

Kei strode down the twisted steps as though she owned the manor. I trailed in her shadow, while the boys walked down all in a row and picked their targets. Stealing was wrong of course, but I couldn’t find myself upset at the thought of all the wealthy people coming up short a few jewels. They all seemed to have plenty.

“Try to avoid being asked to any of the line dances,” Kei called over her shoulder, her voice suddenly an octave lower. “You’ll be a laughingstock if you don’t know the dance. But girls aren’t the ones who ask usually, so you should be fine. Maybe you can figure out the slow dances though, get yourself a pretty girl and make the captain jealous.”

“I’d probably trip her, or trip over her.”

She laughed, but it was the truth.

I didn’t belong there, not as a frivolous dancer with Kei or a pickpocket like the boys. I couldn’t say I was bored. Even after hours of watching the couples twirl, it was still mesmerizing. The masks were all so curious. Some people held theirs on sticks, revealing their faces at times, but most, like us, had theirs tied to their faces. I wondered how many people actually recognized each other or if anyone wanted to be recognized.

I stood near the corner as an observer, watching Kei woo all the giggling, blushing girls, watching the boys dip in and out of the crowd but never seeing them steal anything, no matter how I watched their quick hands. I felt certain their pockets were heavier than when they’d come in.

During a quicker number, they stole away to a darker spot under the stairs. I could just see them from my position at the back of the room, and I watched them dipping in and out of view as they took turns twirling with each other.

I was never bored, but I could feel myself waiting. When Kei came over to check on me, I asked for the time. When the boys popped by sometime later, I asked again. They all produced pocket watches they hadn’t had before.

Even past midnight, nothing seemed to be slowing down. A few girls stood in a circle, whispering behind their fans and glancing toward me. I didn’t know if that was a good sign, so I guessed I should move. I had been standing in one place for far too long.

I started toward the other side of the room, scanning for a place to take up space, when a hand grabbed my wrist. My stomach took a tumble as I realized we must have been found out.

I felt their pulse through their hand, beating in a steady rhythm which mine slowed to match.

“Leaving already?” Harlock asked. I turned to find a smile on his lips. His mask was all black, covering both eyes and dipping down in points over his cheeks. It seemed to have some sort of thin, black cloth under the eye-holes. I couldn’t see which eye was patched and which one was there through them. I did wonder how he could see at all.

“I was just moving,” I said. “Afraid someone will recognize you? You went all out.”

“I’ve got a recognizable face,” he said with a chuckle. “The scar tends to do it, and I never know how far my old wanted posters have gotten, or if my brother or father have made some enemies in the wrong place.”

“How did the search go?”

“Poorly,” he said with a sigh. “A lot of false trails.”

I tried to keep the relief from my expression and hoped the mask hid it for me. “Are Tochiro and Shep here?”

He shook his head. “Tochiro doesn’t let himself go to events like this. Doesn’t like to let his eyes wander. It upsets her.”

“Who?”

His smile returned. “His dream.”

The mask must have also hidden my irritation, or he was just getting a kick out of confusing me. “You’re not making any sense.”

“Sorry, that’s just what he always called her – Emeraldas, his sire.”

“Oh, I think you mentioned her once, or maybe he did. What about Shep?”

“He escorted Tochiro back.”

“He should have been watching you.”

“Tochiro could be as much of a target as you or me.”

“I guess.” I folded my arms across my chest, scanning the crowd for a recognizable mask. The others would be relieved to know Harlock had made it, but I’d lost them in the shuffle.

“Are you mad at me?” Harlock asked, a frown in his voice.

“No, I’m just worried about you.” I sighed. “Okay, I guess I’m a little mad. I’m always a little mad at you.”

As he took my left hand, I was forced to turn toward him. A gentle smile graced his lips as he placed them to the ring. “I don’t blame you,” he said. “I’m always trouble.”

“Not here,” I hissed as I jerked my hand away. “What if someone sees?”

“Then they would gossip about the men in masks, I suppose. That’s all these wealthy people really have – words. They rarely use action to back them up.” Even with the mask, I could see his disdain for them as he looked out toward the crowd.

“There’s a garden in the back,” he said. “It’s empty because of the darkness, but you can hear the music. That’s how I got in. We could dance there if you’d like.”

“I really can’t dance,” I reminded him, my heart fluttering. “But it sounds nice out there. I bet there are some flowers I haven’t seen before.”

His smile showed his triumph, but I didn’t feel that he’d won, perhaps because I didn’t feel that I had lost. Outside, the music was muffled to a whisper on the wind, yet he hummed along to make up for it in a soothing baritone. I didn’t recognize many of the flowers, mostly shades of red and white, but I knew lavender anywhere. It tinged the air sweetly, washing away the scent of excess from inside.

“It’s pretty,” I said. “I wouldn’t mind getting married in a place like this.”

“I think the owners might mind,” he answered as he took my hands and led them to some sort of dancing form. As he tried to step into whatever we were doing, I stumbled after him and immediately stepped on his foot.

“You are bad at this,” he said with a laugh. “Just go ahead and stand on my feet.”

“Stand on them? Won’t that hurt?”

“No, it’s fine. Go ahead.”

I felt odd pressing all my weight onto his toes, my cheek to his shoulder. His humming vibrated against my ear as he continued unaffected. He stepped and spun unhindered by my weight. It was awfully embarrassing.

When the song ended, I was quick to pull away. “I feel like a little kid when you do that,” I muttered.

“Well, you are to me.”

I couldn’t help but cringe and glance away. “Don’t say it like that. It’s weird.” When I looked back up, I found his eye far off toward the tree line at the garden’s edge. “What’s wrong?” I asked.

“I suppose I’m waiting for him to appear. He always shows up at the worst of times.”

I couldn’t tell if he was anxious or curious, not with the mask in the way. “Should we go back inside?” I asked.

He turned back with a smile. “ _You_ should, certainly. It’s dangerous to let me stay with you alone.”

“Is that a come-on?” I huffed. “I’m not doing anything in a garden.”

“Nothing? Not even a kiss?”

I wished I could see his eyes, wished I could tell if they were seductive or sincere. I couldn’t read his smile alone.

“What if someone sees?” I asked.

“I wouldn’t mind.”

“ _I_ would.”

“It’s awfully dark.”

“The masks will get in the way.”

“You think so?”

I nodded, and he reached his hand behind my head, pulling the mask’s string loose.

“Then we should take them off,” he said. “I like it better when I can see your eyes properly anyway. You have lovely eyes.” He rested his hand on my cheek, looking back toward the tree line as he raised his other hand to pull off his own mask.

“Such pretty eyes,” he murmured. “Just like Phantom’s.”

The world seemed to tilt beneath my feet as his mask fell, and violently blue eyes met mine. He had no eyepatch, no scar.

“Who-?” I began, but he cut me off with a forceful kiss. His mouth tasted sickeningly sweet. I tried to wrench myself from him, but his hand against the back of my head crushed me to him. My legs seemed to be filled with water. I wanted to fall, run, or fight, but I had no strength against him.

I heard someone scream my name, rage melded with fear in the voice, and the man’s lips left mine. I felt dizzy from lack of air, unable to catch my breath. My heart sped like a hummingbird’s wings, while another pulse rattled it in my chest.

I looked to the tree line, from where I’d heard my name, to where the stranger looked once again, his smirk darkening his eyes.

I saw Harlock there, running, Shep galloping not far behind. “Gido!” Harlock roared. “Let him go!”

“How nostalgic,” Gido purred. I felt his cheek pressed to my temple. Then I knew only pain. Something foreign wormed in my chest, like Harlock’s fingers digging for that silver bullet, but this was so much more, so much worse. It circled my heart, still beating. Once, twice…

I tasted blood. I couldn’t see. I couldn’t breathe.  

Three times…four…

“Please!” I heard Harlock scream, his voice raw with pain. I wondered if he felt my heart stopping. “Richard! Don’t!”

I felt the grip on my heart tighten. The pain swelled, then stopped altogether. I felt myself falling, either to sleep or to death. It was difficult to say.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've said this every other place I posted this, but I'm just amazed no one called me out on the whole Gido/Dikku thing. I just can't believe.


	22. Ab Imo Pectore

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The good news is my wife is on the way, and Shep is here.

We’d done nothing but wander the maze of city streets for hours. I wasn’t certain what I thought I might find of Gido, but I thought I would see some sort of sign. I thought I would know his mark or perhaps that he would just come out to face me.

But he left no indications. Shep had no scent to track, and as long as I had the wolf and Tochiro for company, Gido would not appear for me. I only saw him when isolated. It was how he always approached victims. He wanted them on their own, nervous and vulnerable. Or perhaps trusting. That was how he’d lured Daiba away, under the guise of my brother.

I had felt the pain of Daiba’s heart struggling to keep beating. It was like a knife to the chest over and over, but the pain must have been tenfold for him. I could only see Gido’s arm up to the wrist, his hand buried in Daiba’s chest. Foolish as I was, I kept calling Richard’s name, begging him to stop.

Daiba was the same. He looked up with confusion, not anger or fear or sadness. He couldn’t comprehend that my gentle brother would hurt him, and Richard never would have. No one loved Daiba more than him.

It ended with fire erupting through my chest, and Daiba’s heart beat no more. As I’d staggered, trying to remember how to breathe, Daiba’s eyes rolled back, and he collapsed against Gido. A river of blood had poured from Daiba’s chest.

After that, I felt empty. I felt as though something had been ripped from me, and when Richard vanished as well, the feeling worsened.

I could never seem to take a full breath of air, not until Yama. His heart beating in rhythm with mine mended that void that had been there for centuries.

Whenever I couldn’t feel his presence, I had to fight back waves of anxiety. I’d coped for so long that suddenly having stable footing threw me off balance. Being near him was like a drug, and as much as I tried to ignore the nagging in my head pressuring me to return to his side, I always felt relief when I did.

Truthfully, that was why I called off the search early for the night. We weren’t getting anywhere, and I did want to see Yama all dressed up with some silly mask. Tadashi certainly looked adorable as well. I couldn’t help but wonder if he had taken Kei’s advice and gone with the dress. He did own a couple for such occasions.

After I’d lost Daiba and Richard, finding Tadashi was my solace. Later we found Kei and eventually Tetsuro. I rebuilt. I never wanted to get too close – though Tadashi unwittingly clawed his way into my heart early on – but I did want to protect them.

I always thought I wanted to be alone, after running away from my sire, after losing my newbloods, yet I always surrounded myself with company. Even now, when I’d aimed to search alone, I found comfort in my group. I just wished Tochiro would stop his relentless onslaught of jokes.

“I’m just saying, if we got Shep a mask, no one would even recognize him as a werewolf. They wouldn’t be able to tell.”

“He doesn’t have any formal wear,” I said. “He’ll have to stay outside.”

“I was talking about him going in as a wolf.”

“So was I. He can’t go in naked. It goes against the rules of high society.”

“I think that goes against the rules of regular society.”

Shep loped behind us in the open, empty street. For a while, he’d darted between empty alleys, waiting for us to signal that the coast was clear. But once most of the city slept, we stopped caring that the occasional drunk might spot him.

I’d suggested he come along in his human form when I’d last seen him in it, but his eyes went wide, and he gestured to his clothes as though his hands had caught a fit. My look of confusion led to several minutes of gesturing, until I understood that he didn’t want to tear his clothes to pieces during a transformation.

He needn’t have worried because we didn’t have any need for him as a wolf in the end, no fights or scent trails. His ears did perk up as the manor came into view, and his gait changed to a canter, trotting to the beat of some invisible song. Vampire ears may have been sharper than humans’, but Werewolves could hear for leagues. 

As I pondered the merits of stealing a mask off a drunk, Shep froze, his entire form stiff. His ears strained forward. He looked to me, then back toward the manor, then me, the manor. Once again, I could make no sense of him. Tochiro asked what was wrong, but I knew that to be pointless. Shep had no means to communicate his concerns. 

Sucking in a breath, I held it and felt the strengthened pulse of my heart. I was close enough to feel Yama, who must have been calm because I had to focus to feel his echoing heartbeat. As long as he was calm, then all was well.

Except, I felt something else. I had to be imagining it, that second murmured response to my heart, but I surged forward just to be sure. Tochiro yelled at me to wait up, not much of a runner, but I couldn’t wait for him. Even Shep had to sprint to keep up with me.

The bushes of the garden hissed as I tore through them, branches eating at my cheeks and snagging my clothes. In response to my racing heart, two pulses answered, one gaining momentum.

As I burst into a field of flowers, crushing them underfoot, my sight locked on Yama.

His eyes were snapped shut, his hands scrabbling to push the man in front of him away. Some part of me refused to acknowledge the man forcing him into a kiss. He’d done the same to Daiba just before…before…

“Yama!” I screamed. I wanted to tell him to run, but what good would it do? Gido’s claws were in him now.

I hadn’t seen Gido without a mask since Daiba stopped breathing, but now one fiery blue eye pierced me. My little brother’s eyes were the one thing that separated him from the rest of us in appearance, baby blues that always shone with his joy. Seeing them like this after all these years was a blow to the gut. I swallowed a sob, just trying to run. It seemed like tar ate at my feet.

When he wrenched his lips from Yama’s, he broke out into a smile, one that didn’t belong on my brother’s face. “Gido!” I screamed again. “Let him go!”

But what good would it do? What good had it ever done?

It was happening again. Yama looked to me in confusion. Gido’s fingers pressed to Yama’s chest, and it was all happening over again. It was all the same, all the players in their places for that memory that came to me in nightmares.

I didn’t see Gido move. Maybe I blinked. Yama made a sound, short with pain and surprise, and pain ripped me apart from the inside. His heart staggered, its pulsing uneven and forceful as it fought against Gido’s hand.

It was all happening again.

“Please! Richard! Don’t!”

All over again.

My legs dropped out from under me as fire erupted in my chest. My knees hit the flowerbed, and Yama went limp in Gido’s arms like a marionette with cut strings. The pain left me gasping, but I no longer seemed to have lungs, only a gaping hole where my chest should have been.

Shep barreled past me as Gido freed his hand, painted pure crimson. Try as I might to stagger to my feet, they wobbled under me like a newborn calf’s. It was just like before. He’d used my weakness as a means for escape, though Shep wasn’t there last time.

And the werewolf looked poised to kill, all the fur along his back raised. At the sight, the emptiness in my chest became fire once again. It tinged my vision with a blur and made my limbs quake.

I wanted to tear Gido apart. I wanted to feel him squirm as I crushed his heart. I wanted him to suffer like Yama had suffered, like Daiba had suffered. Anger was fuel. Hatred got me back on my feet.

I could hurt later, but I could only kill now.

Gido’s expression turned calm as he brought his bloodied fingers between his lips and gave a whistle. Just as I’d found my footing, some bristly, snarling thing slammed into me.

I caught myself with my hands before I could hit the ground, but rows of fangs snapped down on my shoulder. It was too big to be a normal wolf, though not as big as Shep. Its fangs cut into me as well as Tochiro’s katana through flesh. Before it could crush my shoulder, I grabbed its snout and jaw in each hand and gave a sharp tug.

“Not now,” I snarled. Its grip on me lost, it tried to scramble back, paws unable to gain purchase in the soft flowerbed. I didn’t release its muzzle until the heel of my boot pinned it to the ground, and its ribcage crackled under the weight of my foot. It gave the yelp of a suffering dog, its feet still digging at the earth as though it could run on its side.

I left it there as I turned heel and searched for my true target. But he was gone.

The battlefield, for it seemed it had become one, was littered with bodies, yet Gido and Yama were not among them.

Shep held another wolf with frayed auburn fur down, the two of them stained black with blood. It seemed Shep had won, though his wounds looked worse.

Kei sat on her knees, her right arm shattered. The bone jutted out of her forearm. She clutched it with her left arm, her eyes wide, unseeing.

Collapsed on his side, Meowdar clutched a hand over his gut as blood poured from some hidden wound. Tetsuro lay a few paces away in a similar state, his hand over his throat as he gasped for air.

Tadashi was motionless. Rivulets of blood streamed from his temple, over his forehead and closed eyes. But his blood still smelled fresh with life. As my body screamed for blood to mend itself, I could feel my son’s heart pulse evenly, my instincts calling to it as an option. He merely slept.

Still, my rage faltered. I couldn’t leave them all here to chase one man and a corpse, not when I didn’t even have a trail to follow. Still, I glanced back. The wolf that had attacked me was gone, Tochiro standing in its place and stumbling to find words.

I had none for him. He could take care of things.

I stormed up to the wolf pinned under Shep’s weight, much like he’d subdued Manabu.

“You’re going to take me to him,” I snapped. “Now.”

“Captain,” I heard Kei call, her voice as empty as air. “We tried to stop him. We did. I don’t know… I saw his eyes, and then… They burned.”

I didn’t have time to comfort her. “Shep,” I growled. “Move.”

The wolf stayed put, his pale eyes even as they watched me.

“Let me have that thing!” My shoulder gave a pang of protest as I threw my hand out toward the smaller wolf. “It knows where he is! Or you track him! You can do that!”

“Harlock,” Tochiro said. “Not now. Please, not now. Everyone’s hurt.”

“Everyone’s hurt because of Gido and these damn wolves,” I spat. “Don’t protect them! If I don’t finish this now, he’ll run, and someone else will die!”

Someone else.

Someone else would die.

Like Yama.

Yama.

Yama was dead.

My entire body burned as I looked back to the wolves. They must have been Gido’s pets, so I would take this one from him, like he’d taken Yama from me. Shep stood, placing himself between me and the smaller wolf, all his fur on end once again. He must have felt some camaraderie toward the thing, the thing that had helped Gido get away.

“Don’t stand in my way,” I said. “I’ll kill you too if I have to.”

Something cracked against the side of my head, something solid and smelling of leather. “That’s enough, Harlock,” came a woman’s voice, smooth and relaxed. As stars cleared from my vision, I found myself looking up at her from the ground as she stepped back down from a kick.

Clothed in all red, her hair swept down past her hips in a lighter shade. A scar mirroring mine cut across her cheek. “You always preach a cool head in the face of chaos,” she said. “So show yourself capable. Your revenge can wait, but all the noise will arouse suspicion. We must leave.”

“Emeraldas!” Tochiro squeaked. “What are you doing here?”

“Cleaning up, I suppose.” She frowned down at me for a moment longer before turning and walking off. Her hair trailed behind her like water.

As I rose once again, she went to Kei and helped the shaken girl to her feet, murmuring something to her. “Harlock,” Emeraldas called. “Come collect your children. They are in pain.”

I didn’t have enough…of anything to correct her and say only Tadashi was my child. I moved because she said to. I’d always resented following her orders, but now it was all I had. As I gathered Tadashi in my arms, I heard her greet someone at my back. Frantic talking followed, but I couldn’t find it within myself to listen or understand. I held Tadashi close and felt his heartbeat.

Once I held him, I didn’t want to let go, didn’t want to move. This was my son, the last vampire born of my blood. The last one. The only one.

Daiba, Yama, Richard – they were all gone.

I felt someone in front of me, trying to speak to me, trying to take Tadashi from me, but I clutched him closer to my chest. A hand pressed to my cheek, and I blinked away tears until they fell from my eye.

“I’m sorry, son.”

I wondered if I’d spoken, but the words came from the man in front of me. I finally saw my father, though he couldn’t meet my gaze. “We were too late. I’m always too late. But we should go. Come on, I’ll get you back to your ship.”

I didn’t want to go back there. Yama still lived on my ship. I couldn’t picture the deck without him leaning against the rails, staring out at the sea. I couldn’t imagine my room without him in it, pressed to my back in his sleep, flipping through Richard’s sketches once again and trying to pick out which ones were me.

“Little brother,” I heard as a hand settled atop my head. “We can’t stay here. We need to get blood for the little ones.”

I moved because they told me to. I didn’t see or feel much. I just moved. I could recall them speaking to me, though I wasn’t certain what they said or if I ever responded. We returned to Wataru’s ship instead of my own. I finally allowed them to take Tadashi, though only to move him to a bed near me. I drank the blood they gave me to mend my shoulder, and I sat there.

Someone pressed something into my hands, though I could only see the floorboards. When the room cleared except for the three resting boys, I looked into my hands. It was a mask like the face of a cat, covered in lace flowers stained by a few drops of blood. It smelled of Yama.

Finally, I sobbed. I let all my frustrations and pain run down my face. I may have cried for hours, for Yama and myself and what was left of my little brother – if there was anything left of him.

I woke in the corner of the room at one point, uncertain how I’d gotten there. I found Tadashi curled up against my chest, sleeping. I was uncertain if I’d stolen him from the bed or if he’d joined me there, but I stood and carried him back to his bed.

The three boys appeared alright, if exhausted. After a moment surveying them, I pushed their beds together. Within minutes, they were all crowded onto the middle bed, snuggled against each other.

That was better, how things should have been.

I left them to wander the ship. It must have been daylight because everything was silent. Though I was exhausted down to my aching bones, I didn’t want to sleep. I paced the halls until I found Emeraldas. She sat with Tochiro using her lap as a pillow. He snored a bit, but she took no mind.

“Harlock,” she greeted. “You look awful.”

I was certain I did, so I said nothing.

“You still think of him as Richard, don’t you?” she asked.

“No,” I said. My voice felt raw with disuse. “There’s nothing left of Richard.”

“Yet you said his name.”

“I hoped he might hesitate.”

She shook her head. “You should go see your nephews.”

“That’s-“

“Go,” she insisted, sensing my refusal.

For some reason, I did as she said. It took me a while to recall what room they were in, near Wataru’s cabin. Their room was almost the size of his, though it housed both of them as well as Shep and Bulge for some reason. They all had their own beds. That seemed strange for Shep, whom I’d never seen sleep in a bed by himself. He always slept as a wolf, always on the floor. I guessed it had something to do with the many bandages covering him until I noticed the pale form he encircled.

It was a child, perhaps no older than thirteen with curls of auburn hair. He too was covered in bandages and slept in a shirt much too big for him. It looked like it might belong to my brother.

Something in my head clicked as I stared at his messy hair. He was the wolf, the one I’d wanted to kill.

Emeraldas sent me here to see him, to see the werewolf child I’d almost murdered. And for what?

I cringed as I remembered the other, the one whose ribs I’d broken. That one had gotten away, but I had no doubts he had run back to Gido. That couldn’t have been loyalty. No one was loyal to Gido. They either worked for him through hypnosis or fear.

Perhaps, I thought, I could save that one. It must have been a child as well, about the same size as the wavy-haired boy had been as a wolf. At the very least, I could save one life.

One of the hundreds thrown away because of my mistakes.

I left the room and waited for sunset, all the while trying to find air to breathe with the new hole in my chest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The bad news is- well, everything else.


	23. Beatae Memoriae

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Throws confetti* I lied.

The scuttling footsteps of a rat woke me. Stone like jagged ice pressed to my spine. I couldn’t breathe, some weight against my chest. As I scrambled to press against the walls boxing me in, I found my hands meeting empty air. My eyes opened to a high ceiling spider-webbed by cracks.

“Try not to panic,” someone called. “You’ll agitate your wound. Stay relaxed.”

Each breath seemed to tear at the center of my chest, like thorny vines had wound their way around my heart. The pressure on me wasn’t helping. I couldn’t keep ahold of my thoughts. Everything slipped from my grasp before I could find focus.

The voice returned, familiar and soothing. “Breathe slow. It’s selfish of me to ask, but could you let him stay there on you? I haven’t seen him that content in ages. Best for you not to move too much anyway.”

“Who?” I croaked once I’d pried my lips apart. My mouth tasted metallic, my lips stuck together from clotted blood. “What?” I looked down to find a mess of blond hair. Someone lay on top of me, sleeping. I couldn’t see much from the awkward angle, his ear pressed over my heart, but it was clear from his feet mixed-up with mine that he was short. His cheeks were round, one squished against my chest. The fabric against his face was stained dark with old blood. Torn frays framed his cheek.

It was clear I’d been injured, like that man said. Thinking back, yes…that seemed right. Something had hit my chest. I could recall the agony, the red-hot pulsing of my heart. I let my eyes fall shut again. Confused as I was, sleep was tempting. Trying to find focus was exhausting.

“You should try to stay awake if you can,” the man said. “It would be better to sleep when he’s awake.”

I forced out a sound, trying to convey my confusion as I let my head fall to face him. His eyes were so blue, like morning glories or maybe the sea I’d never seen. But I’d seen those eyes before.

My gasp rattled my lungs. “Gido.”

His eyes softened with sorrow. He sat with his back to a wall, cage bars between us. If not for those eyes, he would have looked so much like Wataru and Harlock and of course their father – his father.

“But you’re…Richard,” I said. That was what Harlock had called him, right before…

“That’s right,” he said with a shadow of a smile. “I am right now. But when the sun goes down, he’ll be back.”

If this was Richard, but it was also Gido- but that made no sense. Gido was someone else. If he came back at sunset, then we needed to run. I had to find Harlock. He would want to know his little brother was alive.

“I-I don’t understand,” I choked. “You were dead. Gido killed you.”

“Who told you that?” he asked. His hand moved back and forth like a pendulum, along the back of an over-sized dog which rested against his lap. “Was it Phantom? Did he sire you?”

“Yeah. My name is Yama.”

Richard nodded but offered no more formalities than that. “I knew you had to be one of my family’s with that pulse, but you smell like Phantom.”

“He said Gido killed Daiba,” I pressed, “and then killed you.”

Richard’s brows pinched. “So he does still think Daiba is dead. I don’t know why he wouldn’t. That explains why he’s taken so long to find me.”

“He thinks you’re dead too.” And the way he was speaking, it seemed Daiba must have been alive as well.

“Perhaps, but Gido’s alive.”

I stared at him in hopes that he would just get to explaining. For all my questions, I had little energy to voice them.

He breathed a deep sigh. “If Gido is alive, I must be as well. Gido and I are the same person, or at least, we inhabit the same body.” It was clear from the way he spoke that he’d told this to others before me, and he didn’t care for it. His wandering eyes turned their piercing gaze back to me. “Did Phantom ask your consent before he turned you?”

“No, I was dying. I couldn’t have responded.”

“Would you have said yes?”

“No.” The word left me without thought or hesitation. I’d been content to die, but now… Things were different now.

“I would have refused too, but he tricked me into it. I didn’t even know he was a vampire when it happened. I’d thought he was dead, but he just showed up at the house one night like nothing had happened. Gave me something he called medicine.” His eyes fell under the weight of his past. “I don’t blame him anymore. We were so young then.

“After I turned and pulled out of my feral state, I always refused blood, refused to drink no matter what Phantom did. It would last until the hunger was too much, and I became feral. It just kept happening. I kept letting it happen. I’d wake up covered in blood with no memory of what I’d done. Phantom never told me, but I was killing people. He couldn’t control me. He was still a newblood himself. If I’d known…” He shook his head. “Over time, I guess my feral side got smarter, or at least it was smarter than I was. I suppose it was my mind’s way of protecting me. That’s what a feral side is for. But it started taking over more often, started talking back to Phantom. He didn’t know well enough to see that as horribly abnormal. One day, I woke up, and Daiba was gone. I reeked of his blood. I begged Phantom to tell me what happened, but really, I knew. I thought I did anyway. It looks like Gido did the same to you.”

“Did what?”

“Faked your death. I don’t know much about what he does. Sometimes he leaves me instructions when I need to know something, but Daiba and I gathered that Gido drugged him with wolfsbane.”

“Wolfsbane? We used to grow so much of that around the church.”

“Then you know what it can do.”

“It’s poison,” I said. We always had to warn the children not to go near the hillside where it grew. It was pretty and tempting for such a deadly flower.

“True, but in the right doses it slows the heart so much it seems to stop. For vampires, the effect is instantaneous, but I had an immunity to it because the doctors had used minuscule doses in some of my medicines.”

I opened my mouth to ask how Gido could have dosed me with such a poison, when Richard’s words registered, and the question caught in my throat. It must have been that strangely sweet kiss.

As silence overtook us, he looked down to the dog, frowning. Judging by the size of it, it might have been a werewolf like Shep. Its fur was the shade of wet clay. “Nazca hasn’t returned,” Richard said. “I hope he’s alright.”

It seemed he was trying to change the topic as well, but I had more questions. “So Daiba’s alive?”

He managed something too weak to be a real smile and waved his hand toward the form on top of me. “I think he likes you because you smell like Phantom. He always had the biggest crush on my brother.”

I looked back toward the boy with fresh eyes. Of course this was Daiba, with those round cheeks and pale hair. “Wow, he looks just like your drawing,” I said. Even from the awkward angle, I could see it.

Richard said nothing for a moment, and when I looked his way, I found his gaze distant, agonized. “You’ve seen some of my art?”

“Yeah, Harlock had a sketchbook. I thought most of the pictures were of him at first.”

“I can’t believe it’s still in-tact,” he whispered, his eyes gleaming with tears. “That was so long ago. You know, it used to be so much harder to get ahold of books. It was so expensive, but Phantom would bring them to me when he visited. I always knew he was stealing to get that kind of money.”

The dog resting against his lap gave a whimper, and his gaze shot back down to it. As he rubbed his thumb against its ear, his brow furrowed with worry. “Ah, Sam, kiddo, if you’d turn human for me, I could try to fix you up better.” He heaved a sigh when Sam didn’t respond. “Gido must have commanded him not to, the bastard.”

“Is that a werewolf?”

“Oh, yeah, Gido tends to hypnotize any he can find. He thinks they’re useful,” he spat, disgusted.

“Richard,” I began tentatively.

His expression calmed in an instant as he looked back to me. “Oh, and you can call me Dick. Only my family insisted on calling me Richard.”

“Uh, right, Dick.” Somehow, that seemed rude, but whatever made him happy. His whole story sounded crazy. I wasn’t sure how much of it I believed, but then, I wasn’t sure I _didn’t_ believe it either. There was simply one thing that troubled me. We had seen Gido out on the sea, and it was clear from the werewolves that he had a connection to the outside. Daiba and I may have been locked in a cell, but what stopped him from breaking us out? What stopped him from sending out a letter?

“So, why haven’t you or Daiba…well…?”

“Tried to escape? Or contact Phantom?” With another fake smile, he nodded toward Daiba. “Try waking him up.”

I might have objected had the boy not been using me as a bed. Despite the lashes of pain that went through me as I moved my arm, I placed my hand to Daiba’s cheek and patted it a few times. “Daiba,” I called. “Um, do you mind?”

As his eyelids fluttered open to reveal shades of deep brown, Dick spoke again. “I could leave, technically. You two cannot without the key, and only Gido has access to that. Weak as those bars are, they’re made of pure silver. Our flesh will melt on contact. If I leave, it can only be during the day, as that is when I’m in control, so I will die in the sunlight. Even if it were somehow dark, I do not know where he hides the key. And, truthfully, I don’t wish to put Daiba in any danger by rebelling.”

Daiba’s gaze was dull as he looked up at me. I started to greet him, but he nuzzled himself back against my wound and broke into a purr that rivaled my cat’s.

“What are you doing?” I spluttered, snapping my hands to his shoulders.

“He’s feral,” Dick said before I could push Daiba away. “He has been for longer than I could say.”

“What? Why? Isn’t that just a newblood thing?”

“No, but newbloods are more susceptible. Put any vampire under enough duress, and they’ll fall into it in order to escape.”

I paused, staring down at the boy. He’d been alive all this time, trapped with Gido. “What did…?” I swallowed the question, unable to consider what the answers might be, but Dick understood too well.

“I don’t know what Gido does to him. Daiba wouldn’t tell me when he was himself, and he can’t tell me now. All I know is that he won’t let me near him. He won’t go anywhere near the bars if I’m by them.”

My stomach rolled over itself. If all of this were true and Gido appeared with the moon, I wasn’t safe. Whatever his intent, I would not come out unscathed. He’d already shown little care for my well-being.

“I would walk out into the sun,” Dick whispered. “I would happily rid this world of myself and him to protect Daiba.” Tears filled his eyes once more. “I would do anything for Daiba, but if I die, and no one can find him here in this prison, he will starve to death, and I can think of no greater suffering. I’ve made it this long, allowed Gido to kill so many just for Daiba’s sake. I know that’s wrong, to let so many die for one life. I understand if you hate me, but please, if you can save Daiba, that’s all I ask. Kill me if you need to, if you can. I’m content to die for him.”

* * *

Between my exhaustion and my injuries, I couldn’t stay awake. Dick tried to keep up a conversation, tried to convince me to tell him stories of my time on the Arcadia, but my words tapered off, no matter how he begged.

I woke to a growl. When I opened my eyes, I found myself in the corner of the cell. Daiba remained huddled against me, the growl rumbling from his chest. His eyes remained unfocused yet were wide and wild. I followed their gaze to the now-open cell door. The man standing in it wore a mask – Gido, not Dick.

He said nothing as he tossed another body into the cell. Not a corpse. No, the smell of blood was too strong for that, too fresh, too human. I slapped a hand over my nose and mouth as waves roared through my head. I needed blood to heal. I did, but not from a living, breathing human.

She looked young, maybe my age. She must have been poor because her clothes were rags and she was far too thin. “Hurry up,” Gido said in a voice that was Dick’s and yet not. “She will wake soon, and I hate to hear the screams.”

He turned and walked out. A boy with a mess of clay-red hair limped over and shut the cell door behind him, wincing as he did so. Despite his worn, leather gloves, I swore I heard the hiss of something burning as he pulled the door to. His other hand clasped across his chest, and each breath seemed to tear through him. His eyes – there was something about those pained eyes. They were redder than his hair, unnaturally so. I was certain of it, and yet, some part of me told me they were blue. And when I looked away, I could only picture them the same shade as Dick’s eyes.

I had to look away because Daiba started toward the girl. Snapping my hand around his wrist, I yanked him back. He gave a small cry of surprise followed by a much louder one of annoyance. He had no intention of staying at my side, even as I locked my arms round his waist. He pushed against me like an unruly toddler. “Daiba, no,” I snapped. “You’ll hurt her. Harlock is on his way, so hold out until then!”

At the name, Daiba stilled.

“That’s right,” I said, urging him to sit. “Harlock will find us.”

“Harlock thinks you’re both dead,” Gido said. I turned to find him writing a letter against the wall, facing away from us. The boy held his inkwell. “I will admit he is looking for me, but even if he were to find and kill me, he would have no reason to seek you out. You would die here, so you might wish to treat this meal as your last. Regardless, you’ll have to give in eventually. It would be better to drain her before she wakes.”

“Harlock will find us,” I said, for myself as much as Daiba. Each time he heard the name, he stilled as though waiting for the devil to arrive at mention of his name. “He’ll save us and Dick.”

As he finished the letter, Gido shook the paper out to dry it. “Believe as you wish,” he said, folding the letter into thirds. “Though I can assure you that as long as Richard exists, so do I.” He gave the letter to the boy, took him by the chin, and locked their eyes as he pulled off the mask. “Take it to that pest who’s been asking after me. Do not allow yourself to be seen by him. Slip it under his door.”

“Yes,” the boy whispered.

Gido replaced the mask, and the boy blinked away his daze. In silence, he took the stairs that must have led outside. I heard a door open, then shut. It seemed an escape wasn’t too far off. All I needed to do was get out of the cell and slip around Gido. If I could get out, surely I could find Harlock. He must have been looking for us, no matter what Gido said.

At the very least, I hoped he might be looking for my body. I spun the little ring around my finger, hoping the silence could last until Harlock arrived. Gido broke it as though he knew my thoughts.

“Come here, Yama,” he said.

I jerked my chin down to keep from looking at him. “No,” I said.

“Very well. You’ll learn in time. Daiba, come here.”

I could feel Daiba’s heart hammering against mine as his whole form grew taut. He seemed to take no mind of my arms around him. He stood, his eyes empty and blue.

“Daiba, no!” I demanded, hanging from him, trying to drag him down. Suddenly, though, he was far too strong for me. He pried my hands off and strode forward. I only knew I couldn’t look Gido in the eye, so my gaze wandered from the ground to Daiba’s back as I tried to think of what to do. But it all happened in an instant. I had no time to move.

I heard a crack, and my eyes flashed up to see the side of Daiba’s head smashed against the silver bars of the cell. Gido held him by the front of his shirt as though trying to pull him out from gap between the bars.

Daiba’s eyes seemed clear for the first time, drowning in pain as the bars or the flesh of his face hissed. He didn’t open his mouth, didn’t make a sound, even as the metal ate into his cheek. Without thought, I jumped up and grabbed his shoulders. I had every intent to pull him back until I saw blue, nothing but blue.

Endless. Blinding. Blue. A voice, so loud, so painful, rang through my head.

“When I tell you to do something, you will do it. Is that understood?”

“Yes,” I felt myself say in the same empty voice as that boy.

“Then hurry up and feed. You need to close up those wounds before my guest arrives. You won’t serve well as a bargaining chip if he sees you in such a state.”

I couldn’t see. I could only hear that deafening voice and someone screaming. It was all so loud, so horribly loud. I could taste blood around a trilling heartbeat that began to slow. And then stopped altogether.

I felt a hand on my chin, a thumb slipping across the warm blood still on my lips. “You must wash up and change. You’re a terrible mess now. You must learn to feed with more composure.”

Everything was so bright, so loud, yet I saw nothing, heard only that voice. I felt myself change into a different outfit. The new one smelled strange, foreign. All of the comforts of Harlock’s scent were gone.

As Gido examined me once more, his touch wandered to my hand, and I could sense his displeasure. I could do nothing as he slipped the ring from my finger. “This won’t do,” he murmured. “He’d certainly complain of that too.”

I wanted to scream and fight and take it back. It was nothing, just a little ring, but it was all I had left of Harlock. A sound bubbled up and ripped from my throat, a piece of a word I couldn’t finish because Gido’s hand locked around my neck.

“Hush,” he said. “You don’t really want your brother to know of your little tryst, do you?”

My brother? What about my brother? How did he know Ezra?

“Just be pretty and silent for him when he arrives. Is that understood?”

Ezra…

Ezra was…coming.

I felt myself trying to respond, trying to give Gido the “yes” he wanted to hear, but I couldn’t seem to recall how to speak.

“Good,” he said.

My sight returned to me as I sat in the cell. It reeked of blood. Daiba rested his head against my shoulder, and I could see the light pink of new skin on the side of his face. He purred in a rhythm that perhaps could have been comforting. Closing my eyes, I leaned against him in return, feeling the empty place on my ring finger.

Harlock would come, surely. Harlock would come.

Even if it was just to find my body.

Even if that was all that was left.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope y'all didn't all leave because, come on. I'm not nice enough to give any character that quick of a death.


	24. Caetera Desunt

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It looks like everyone did leave. Oh well, here's another chapter. Complete with my favorite unrequited love pairing.

The last time I saw Léopard he was too young to be called an oldblood. He had tailed after Promethium like her dog, serving as her second at the meeting of the Lords. We’d all loathed him at the time, but now I saw him with fresh eyes. I’d heard he’d betrayed her and come out worse for it. I hadn’t heard he lost his arm, likely for the same reason.

Curious about him as I was, he looked ready to snap. “Zero,” he more growled than greeted. “I already have too many Lords here. Was there some meeting called here that I didn’t hear about?”

“Well, you’re not a lord, so you wouldn’t have needed to hear about it,” I said as I strode down the plank from my ship to the dock.

His eyes darted to my empty sleeve, and his brows pinched further. “State your business. Things are already a mess. I don’t need any more trouble.”

I’d anticipated as much in coming here. After settling my group down in what I hoped would be a stable home on the outskirts of a port town, I heard whispers of strange ship sightings along trade routes. The impossibly old one they described sounded much like Great Harlock’s ship, while the other which blended with the night sounded too much like the Arcadia not to take note. Harlock and his father did not follow each other, and they absolutely did not stick to popular trade routes.

Whatever their arrival in this port meant, it wasn’t good. And spotting Emeraldas’ sleek ship hiding among some rocks on the way in didn’t ease my mind. Lords did not gather without good reason.

“Technically it is none of my business,” I said. “Lords are not supposed to impede on each other’s affairs unless we wish to invoke a challenge. But Harlock and his father are always trouble, and admittedly, I had little else to do. For now, I’m back to work as a mercenary. I have to regain some funds for those who were once under the rule of my city.”

His frown deepened. “So you were just curious? You Lords always seem drawn into each other’s business for people who all claim to hate each other. I suppose as long as Promethium doesn’t appear, I can live. At least you might be able to help me clean up.”

So something _had_ gone very wrong. I couldn’t say I was surprised. “What happened?” I asked.

He inclined his head, indicating for me to follow. “Come, we can discuss on the way.”

As I tailed after him, he spoke the events of the past couple of days with regular use of “apparently” and “unfortunately” and “ _je m'en fou._ ” He had not been present for the worst of it, something he clearly regretted, even as he grumbled and blamed everyone else involved.

But by the time we reached a ship, which was familiar but not Harlock’s nor his father’s, Léopard was silent. After telling me of Yama’s death, he said no more, and when we stepped into the ship’s planning room, it became apparent why.

Everyone was silent, yet Harlock’s silence seemed deafening. He stared at a map of the city, laid out across the table. His clothes were a disheveled mess, and his hair needed brushing. Hearing of Yama’s death was a stab to the chest for me, but it had clearly destroyed Harlock. He’d been the same after Dick left. At the time, I’d been forced to take care of him for a while. He would forget to drink and would fight off sleep, desperate to search for his brother at every waking moment. I tried to convince him to let me contact his family, but he wanted nothing to do with them.

“I can’t let them know,” he’d said. “They’ll know I failed, and they’ll know I let Richard get hurt. They’ll never forgive me for that.”

I’d always thought that was utter nonsense, and it certainly was. His father stood in the corner of the room, frowning down at his feet. Tadashi sat not far away from his father, holding Tetsuro’s hand as well as that of the odd, cat-like boy.

And Wataru… Wataru was here.

I felt myself blinking rapidly as though to ensure he wasn’t an illusion. It was no wonder the ship looked familiar. It was his ship. He hung over the map, scowling at it. No matter how I tried to force my eyes away, I couldn’t help but stare at him and trace my gaze over his form.

He still looked fantastic. Well, of course he did. He didn’t age. Still, he looked nice.

Though Emeraldas was the first to notice my presence with a quick glance, Wataru was the first to break the silent spell over the group. “Warrius?” he said as he saw me standing in the doorway. “What are you doing here?”

I tried to find an answer, my mouth hanging open, but I found myself only able to speak honestly. “I don’t know,” I said. “But I heard Harlock had come this way, and I had nowhere else to go.”

“I’ve briefed him on the situation,” Léopard said. “It seems none of you have made any progress if you’re all standing around.”

“We have reason to believe he’s in this area,” Wataru said over him, tracing his finger along a swath of the city. It was far too great of an area to cover on foot thoroughly.

Léopard’s brows shot up. “Most of that is where you would go to find a prostitute.”

“You would know?” Great Harlock asked with a twitch of his lips. It wasn’t quite a smile, and he didn’t look up.

“This is my city,” Léopard snapped. “Of course I know.”

“Prostitutes make for simple prey,” Wataru said. “People won’t readily notice if a few go missing.”

“We certainly have,” Léopard said. “Several vampires have complained to me when their favorite whores go missing. Investigating led us nowhere because we couldn’t find any evidence. We rarely ever found bodies, and when we did, they were far outside the city, dead from being drained.”

Something had been bothering me about the story, but the final detail in particular struck a nerve. “That doesn’t make much sense for Gido,” I said. “I suppose he could use the women for hypnosis, but every story I’ve heard in that regard has him using men as his pawns. Presumably, all the victims you speak of are female?”

He nodded. “We have male prostitutes, but they are few, and I have heard no stories of them disappearing. Often, men who vanish return months later with no memory of what they’ve done or where they’ve been.”

“Men make for easier pawns,” Wataru said. “Humans tend to think lowly of women, so hypnotizing men would be simpler. They would be more readily able to access travel and such.”

“So he just uses the women for food?” Léopard offered.

I shook my head. “But I wouldn’t expect Gido to drain his victims. Why would he leave any chance that something might be traced back to him? Even weak hypnosis is enough to make a human forget that you’ve fed on them.”

“Maybe he has a thing for corpses,” Emeraldas offered. “He took Yama’s body with him.”

We all stared at her wide-eyed. I hoped she wasn’t saying what I thought she was. Even Harlock’s head turned as he looked to her in horror.

“What?” she asked. “Why else would he bother carrying off a corpse when he’s on the run? I’m just saying-”

“Ah, Emeraldas,” Tochiro piped in, taking hold of her hand. “Maybe we should focus on something else right now.”

Léopard cleared his throat and forced out a slow explanation. “There was no evidence that the bodies had been…tampered with. It appeared he might have used them for multiple feedings because there were multiple bite marks.”

Harlock spoke suddenly, his gaze sharp as a blade as it turned on Léopard. “How so?”

“What do you mean?”

“Where were these bite marks?”

“I believe there was always one on the neck and one on the wrist.”

“Were they from the same person?”

Léopard looked baffled. “I-I suppose we never checked.”

Harlock’s voice rose yet darkened. “Then do you _think_ they were from the same person?”

“That doesn’t make sense, does it?” Great Harlock offered when Léopard could only stammer. “Unless they’re injured and need the blood to make up for it, I don’t know of any vampire who could drain one person after two meals. There’s too much time between feedings, and the human would regain their strength by then. Also, I don’t know that I’ve ever heard of a vampire who switches feeding spots like that every time. It sounds like the work of two vampires.”

“So it might not even be Gido,” Emeraldas said. “I doubt he’d work alongside anyone.”

“Why do we think he’s working in that section anyway?” I asked.

“The wolves lose their sense of smell in the area,” Wataru said. “There’s a great deal of wolfsbane planted around the area, and it throws them off, muddles their senses. The same goes for us. If you’re not looking to be found, it’s a smart move.”

“We’d always assumed the superstitious humans in the area planted that,” Léopard said. “It tends to make the younger vampires woozy when the wind blows the scent of the flowers around. We tried to get rid of it, but more appeared, so we stopped bothering.”

“Ezra used it around the church too,” I said. “I led him to believe it was more troublesome for us than it really was. I suppose a vampire could plant it, but being around that much of it for an extended period of time would be quite the headache. Even humans don’t take too well to it.”

“Richard’s body could take it,” Harlock said, glaring down at the map once more. “They tried using it in some of his medicines. We thought it had killed him for a while.”

“Ah, right,” Wataru said, nodding. “They said it would make him sick, and then it would help once his body grew accustomed to it.”

Old medicine was an odd thing.

“So what have we established?” Léopard asked with a sigh. “Should we just go out and search for a while? We don’t seem to be making much headway here. For all we know, he might have left the city already.”

Harlock placed a hand across his mouth, speaking through his fingers. “I don’t think so.”

“Why not?”

“I just… I don’t think so. I feel like he’s still here.”

“Well, it’s more than we’ve had to go on so far,” Wataru said. “Alright, everyone pair off. We’ll try another search. Dad, you’re with me.”

Great Harlock’s eye shone with surprise, and I could feel my own dull with disappointment. Of course Wataru wouldn’t choose me to go with him, not that it would have mattered if he had. This was business, not pleasure. Nothing was ever pleasure with him.  

“Boys,” he continued, nodding to the younger group. “Fetch the wolves, and take them with you. Remember, if you have any reason to believe he’s nearby, give the signal. Do not engage him.”

They all nodded.

“Zero.”

My spine stiffened as he looked to me.

“I wouldn’t wish to order you around-”

I wished he would.

“-but would you mind sticking with my brother for a while?”

Oh.

“It’s no trouble,” I said. “I’ll do whatever I can to help.”

Harlock gave me some sort of look that I didn’t bother trying to decipher, and we all split off to go into the city. I should have expected the “wolves” Wataru spoke of to be werewolves, but it was still startling to see the gangly beasts towering over the young boys.

Wataru gave us all areas to cover, and we split off into the darkened city. I had to hope Harlock would pay mind to his own pulse as it was all we had to go on. If he felt any overlap, we would have to look into it. For a while, though, I led us aimlessly in silence. He tailed at my heels with his head down until he spoke without warning.

“Wataru is married now,” he said.

My steps stuttered enough for him to ram into my back. He stumbled back a few steps, while I started forward again. “Oh,” I said. “I didn’t know.” I hadn’t seen him in decades, so there was no way I could have known.

Well, it was good. I was happy for him. I was happy as long as he was happy. Yes, there was no need to concern myself with it. We had more important matters to attend to.

“Yeah, he has two kids too – half vampires.”

“Ah, I’m certain they are very cute.” I would have to meet them later. If they had taken after their father at all, I was certain I would adore them.  

“You were really staring at him, you know,” Harlock continued, but I was quite done with the conversation.

“Oh. Do you know where-?”

He spoke over me before I could change the subject. “I’m married too. Or…was.”

This time, I stopped in my tracks, turning on my heel so he smashed himself into my chest instead of my back. My hand latched onto his shoulder to keep him upright, facing me. When he looked up in surprise, our noses almost touched.

“You married Yama?” I asked.

“I…” His voice caught in his throat. “N-not really. We’re engaged…were engaged.”

“You loved him.”

“Of course,” he whispered. “God, I loved him. And I fucked up. I should have known better. You’d think by now… I was supposed to protect him, dammit. I was supposed to get things right this time. I was…” He dropped his face against my shoulder. “I was going to show him the world. Wataru was right. I should have never let myself become a sire again.”

“He would have died had you not turned him.”

“He died regardless!” Harlock yelled, jerking his head back up. Fire burned in his watery eye. He was still such a child in some ways.

Placing my hand to his cheek, I pressed our foreheads together. I’d spent so much time like this all those years ago, holding him close and whispering assurances in hopes that he might forgive himself. I was never sure why I’d taken him in. Perhaps because I understood.

“But didn’t you bring him happiness when you were together?” I murmured. “Didn’t you show him things he’d never seen before? He loved you, didn’t he? He wouldn’t have had any of that without you.”

“But he suffered so much because of me. Even at the end, he suffered so much, Zero. I felt it.”

“I’m sorry, Harlock. I know it hurts, but at least you were close to him when it happened. At least he could feel you nearby.”

“I don’t need your pity,” he snapped, averting his eye.

“Pity?” I felt my expression pinch, and I had to pull away. I needed room to breathe. “Harlock, don’t you remember? I lost my wife and child. It was so long ago, but it never stopped hurting. I understand your pain better than most would. But at least you got to see him one last time. At least he knew you were trying to save him. I didn’t even get _that_ , Harlock. I would give anything to have had that.”

He didn’t respond immediately. His gaze was far-off yet weighted by exhaustion and sadness. “So we’re going to go back to crying on each other’s shoulders?” he asked at length.

“If that’s what it takes to help you grieve,” I offered.

But he shook his head. “I need to kill Gido. That’s all that matters right now. I’ve done enough crying.”

I hid a sigh, dropping my hand to my side. Of course Gido needed to die, but I felt anyone but Harlock should be the one to do it. Harlock would never gain relief or pleasure from killing Gido – only more regrets. No matter how he might try to separate them, that was still his little brother to some extent.

“Then we should start looking,” I said, “though I have no idea where to look, and I also have no idea where we are.”

His chin jerked up at that, and he glanced at our surroundings as though noticing them for the first time. They all looked the same to me – cheap, dirty homes of grays and browns. They appeared abandoned, though it was hard to say. A church bell rang some ways off. One, two, three echoing chimes. Harlock started ranting about how I should have been paying attention to where I was going, and now we would never find anything, and real men have a sense of direction or some such nonsense.

Honestly, he acted as though it would be difficult to go back to the docks and regroup. Besides, it couldn’t hurt to wander for a bit.

Before I could suggest as much, a feeling like a swarm of bees crawled up my spine and along my scalp. I only got that sort of feeling near churches – places with an abundance of holy artifacts. Harlock seemed too preoccupied with telling me that we were several streets over from where we should have been to notice anything amiss.

Perhaps it was nothing, but I closed my eyes and held my breath. I swore I could feel some gaze piercing me. The sharp scent of the wolfsbane may have dulled my nose, but my ears were still sharp enough to pick out a heartbeat, trilling with fear or anticipation. When my eyes opened and snapped toward its source, I only comprehended a flash of silver before my body moved for me.

In hindsight, I should have done something else, anything else. But I stepped toward Harlock, threw my arm in front of him and shoved him back. Something hit my shoulder, sharp and cold as ice, yet it burned like Hellfire.

The burn erupted down my arm and into my chest. My legs dropped out from under me, and my knees cracked against the ground. I felt my hand curl around something thin and wooden, but it also dripped with something that made my palm hiss. My flesh melted into it as I yanked it from my shoulder – a silver-tipped arrow. It must have been coated in holy water as well because it ripped the skin from my palm as I flung it away.

Perhaps it happened in moments, but I counted each second as a year. Even with the arrow gone, the pain consumed me. I must have fallen because dirt scraped at my cheek with my every gasping breath.

“Zero?” Harlock called from somewhere far off, yet his hands flitted over me. “Oh fuck, Zero. What’s wrong? Breathe!”

He was right. It seemed my shallow gasps were no longer working. My eyelids sank against my will.

Something was wrong. Despite the pain, there shouldn’t have been enough damage to knock me out. But I couldn’t move, and the gaps between each thud of my heart began to lengthen. There was something odd about that arrow, and I felt a flicker of relief that it hadn’t hit Harlock.

“You should have known better than to get in the way again,” a cruelly familiar voice said. Ezra – he sounded strangely resigned. “I had no need to hurt you too.”

“Bastard,” I breathed. “You…you…” But I had no more air. Something cold and black swam up around me.

“Zero? Zero, answer me!” Harlock yelled. “Dammit! What did you do, you son of a bitch?”

“I don’t have time,” Ezra said from some far-off tunnel. “If you come quietly, he will wake, but I need you dead, Harlock.”

“Like hell!” Harlock snarled. “I’ll kill you. This is all your fault. Everything that happened with Yama, it’s all your fault!”

“I know.”

They were too far away after that for me to hear. I couldn’t focus. I couldn’t breathe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You'd think they would figure the wolfsbane thing out by now. Oh well, at least Zero gets a well-deserved nap.


	25. De Mortuis Aut Bene Aut Nihil

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Too many irredeemable jerks in one chapter.

By the time I opened my door, the one who’d slipped the note under it was gone, lost to the darkened city streets. The crinkled paper detailed a winding path through the seedier parts of the city. “Come alone, and come tonight, or I’ll be gone,” the flowing script said.

Meeting on his terms was a death sentence, but at this point, it was my only choice. I’d been searching for so long, and while I’d finally tracked him back to the port city he called home, I couldn’t pinpoint his location. No one I talked to recognized the description I gave. It was as though he didn’t exist within the city, only outside of it, where all evidence pointed back here.

He had no reason to reveal his location to me, so I could only be walking toward my death. Still, I strapped on my weapons, my new crossbow heavy against my shoulder. As much as I loathed to follow his advice on weaponry, he’d always been right. I had hopes I could kill him with his own information.

I should have known better than to pay him any heed the first time he showed up, leaning against a tree surrounded by wolfsbane. Not a vampire then, I’d thought. But the mask certainly added to my suspicion.

“What are you doing out here at night?” I’d asked. “Do you need to come inside the church?”

“Is that an invitation?” His voice was too smooth, too calm. The moonlight was bright enough for me to see his smile.

“I do not invite anyone inside,” I said. “They come in as they please. It is a church.”

He’d frowned at that. “Do you think that protects you? You think we need to be invited in?”

That was as much of a confirmation as I needed. My hand slipped beneath my coat to the vial of holy water. “Do not try to trick me. I would suggest you leave. You should know better than to come near this place. Zero and I-”

“Oh, calm down,” he said, waving his hand as though to swat me away. “I’m just a traveler. I have no reason to trouble you. In fact, we may be able to help each other.”

He must have thought me stupid. “I don’t aid vampires or men in masks, and you fit both criteria.”

With a sure smile, he flicked the mask off. His eyes were violently blue, piercing into me for a moment. Then his gaze flicked toward the cross I wore around my neck, and old gift from Nami. His smile vanished. “Hm, you have a protection spell on you. Awfully hypocritical for a man of God.”

“What are you talking about?” Not that it mattered. Vampires had a habit of spouting nonsense.

Instead of answering, he offered a bow as he returned the mask to his eyes. “My name is Gido. I was hoping we might strike a deal. You see, there’s another vampire I want dead, and you seem well-suited for the task. In return, I’d be happy to offer information which would be of use to you.”

“Nothing you have could interest me.” But the fact that he wanted another vampire dead was odd. I couldn’t say I was ever opposed to killing a vampire, demons that they were.

“Really? What about the fact that I could enter your quaint little church without permission? What about the fact that the wolfsbane doesn’t bother me, but I could teach you how to make it deadly to other vampires? Or if you’re feeling particularly sadistic, I can teach you how to give us wounds that won’t heal.”

“The best way to keep you from healing is to kill you.”

He laughed at that, a quiet breathy sound. “I suppose, but it’s a good method if you want to get information or spread a message.”

He seemed quite the sadist. “Why should I have any reason to trust anything you say?”

“You don’t, but it is not a lie that I wish for your help. Therefore, I should be willing to give up something in return. If you agree to kill him, I’ll give you information about us. If you succeed in killing him, I’ll give you more.”

“And why can’t you kill him yourself?” Vampires looked down on us as weaklings, always surprised when we managed to overpower them. Even Zero always warned me against hunts for fear of injury. This demon, haughty as he appeared, should have thought himself more powerful than I.

“He can sense me coming,” Gido said, frowning. “I am not as strong as him, so unless I have the element of surprise, I have nothing. You would be able to surprise him, and he does not care for killing humans he sees as innocent. He would be likely to hold back against you. I can lead him here and then leave things to you. You should have no troubles then, yes?”

It was all too odd not to find suspect. My brows pinched as I looked him over once again for any sign I shouldn’t play along. If anything went wrong, I could always kill him.

“Very well,” I said, “but I have one more question. Why do you want him dead?”

His gaze wandered toward the indigo flowers at his feet. Though I could not see his eyes, I was certain they held hatred. “Because he made me into this, and he did the same to someone I care for. Isn’t that reason enough?”

“You did not wish to be turned?”

“No.”

“Very well.” I gave my assent with a nod. “Then I will kill him.”

After learning that much about my target, I should have known to be more careful. I tried to be. I was. But even with all of Gido’s information and forewarnings, nothing could have prepared me for Yama’s interference. He was always so weak and foolish, always falling for the tricks in vampires’ eyes.

Always getting others hurt for his mistakes.

I wouldn’t allow it again.

After the vampire got away, I was so angry that I couldn’t see straight. It wasn’t the first time I’d wanted Yama away, far enough away that I could forget him for a while. Then I could calm myself, though I never did forget him. My thoughts always returned to his state, until the pit in my stomach grew too painful to bear and I had to let him out.

If the vampire hadn’t returned, it would have been fine. Yama would have apologized for nothing, and I would have… No, I would never have apologized. I should have, but I would have let him accept the blame as always. I would have let him cling to me in his terror without returning any affections.

But the vampire returned, and rage boiled under my skin at the sight of him. My memories grew hazy after that point, fragmented like stained glass. I remembered Yama’s arms around me. I remembered the vampire yelling at me not to hurt Yama. I remembered feeling something crack and the warmth against the heel of my hand. But mostly I remembered my brother’s eyes, the empty desperation within them. They were the eyes of a man in death, and I realized it far too late.

Gido found me still sitting in the cellar, staring at my hands. “Well, you tried,” he said with a sigh.

It was enough to send me over the edge. But my attempts to end him were sloppy at best. He stepped out of the way of every attack until I fell to my knees, exhausted.

Gido sat on a crate in front of me, chin in his palm. “No need to take it out on me. You’re the one who killed him.”

“No,” I spat through gasps for air. “It was that bastard. It was all you demons. You’re the reason-!”

Gido clicked his tongue. “Then would you wish to see us all dead?”

“That’s all I’ve ever wanted. If I hadn’t tolerated you in my city, Nami and Yama would still be alive.”

What I could see of his expression was calm, unimpressed I imagined. “Then I can teach you how to do that,” he said.

Fool me once, they say. I should have known better than to listen. I should have killed him. The moment the fires were out of our control, I realized that. The roaring and crackling of the flames drowned out all the screams, just like with Nami. This, truly, was Hell.

Still, I could only blame the vampires for the trouble I brought them and everyone else. Zero showed up at the wrong moment. He tried to reason with me, as though that had ever gotten him anywhere before. He should have run. He should have known better, like Yama.

After that, I ran. I needed to find Gido. He was the last one I needed to kill, the one who truly deserved to die. He was the one who set everything into motion. I was nothing but his pawn, a willing pawn. I deserved to die as much as he, but I had to ensure his end first.

When I forced open his door, I found him as calm as ever. “It has been a while,” he greeted. As I took a step toward him, he held up a hand. “Before we get into all that, have something you might want to see.”

“You have nothing-”

“Come now, Ezra, I’ve always had something.”

I’d never told him my name, yet I wasn’t surprised he knew it. It seemed we’d always known each other.

He turned and walked down a staircase. Probably a trap, but I had the advantage with higher ground. I would go no further than the top step, I thought, notching a silver-tipped arrow into my crossbow. I couldn’t afford to miss, quite literally. They were expensive arrows.

But I froze there at the top of the stairs. Then I took a step down. Then another. The sights of the crossbow drifted toward the floor.

“So you are interested?” Gido asked, grinning.

There, in a cell bigger than the one I’d ever afforded him, was my little brother. He sat curled up in the back corner, his head down, trembling. Another boy huddled at his side, glaring between me and Gido.

My legs propelled me down into the trap. I had to make sure it was him, had to see him breathing with my own eyes. Yama was supposed to be long dead, my worst nightmare come true, yet it could only be him in that cell. His hair had gotten longer, a bit unkempt and dusted with dirt, but otherwise, he looked the same.

When I reached the bars, I dropped to my knees and reached my arm out toward him. “Yama,” I called, though he flinched at the sound of my voice. “By God, is it really you? It’s me. It’s Brother.”

But I’d long-since lost the right to call myself that, and I knew it. Thinking back, I couldn’t imagine why he still called me family after how I treated him, after I tried to deny that we were. But he must have known better now. He wouldn’t acknowledge me anymore.

The younger boy placed himself between us, grit his teeth, and growled. He must have been one of those animalistic vampires, the ones with no sense at all. He was far too close to Yama for my liking.

“You’re awfully unpopular,” Gido said.

I turned on him like the lash of a whip. “Get Yama out of there before I end your life and the life of your mindless pet.”

I swore his cutlass appeared at my throat before I heard the whisper of it leaving its sheath. “You may threaten me all you wish, but you will not touch my ‘pet.’ And Yama will have nothing to do with you without my prompting first, not with that cross you’re wearing. He’s still far too young to be immune to their effects like I am.”

The floor must have dropped out from under me. “He’s… He’s not…”

“Making sense of your situation now?” Gido asked. “Care to guess who turned him?”

I swallowed the strangling lump in my throat. “The one-eyed vampire,” I choked. “I knew I should have killed him, the bastard.”

Gido made a noise of agreement. “He does have a habit of turning those who don’t want to be turned. I retrieved Yama from him.”

I bit my tongue to keep from questioning if I was supposed to thank him for locking my brother in a cage. I had a feeling he would laugh at me for such a remark.

“Get to the point,” I snarled. “You want something in return for him, don’t you?”

A smile flickered onto his lips. “Ah, you have me figured out.”

“You _always_ want something.”

“I only want what you promised me. Kill my sire, then you can have the boy.”

I gave a nod, and the edge of the blade slipped from my neck.

“I admit, I wasn’t certain if you’d want him once you learned he wasn’t human anymore. Or do you just wish to end his life again?”

“Enough,” I snapped. “Just tell me where I can find that bastard.”

He wasn’t as omniscient as he liked to pretend, having to partner me with a werewolf to track the vampire. The wolf limped as much as any beggar, its breaths rasping. Had I the mind to, I could have put it out of its misery without too much trouble.

“Before you go,” Gido said, holding a vial out to me. “I’ll teach you one last trick. This is a poison made from wolfsbane. A few drops is enough to incapacitate even the oldest of vampires for several minutes.”

Perhaps I should have hesitated in taking the vial, but he had never actually lied to me before. All the information he’d given me on vampires had been proven true. I doubted he had any reason to lie now.

“Should you succeed, you can come back to this location to retrieve your brother,” he continued. “I will leave the cell open with him inside. Perhaps if you are quick enough, I will still be here, and you may even get to kill me.”

I should have tried to kill him then, but if the wolf and the other vampire in the cell were to turn on me as well, I doubted my chances. “You expect Yama to just stay in an open cage and wait for me?”

“He won’t know what else to do. He’s feral just like the boy beside him. Funny, he wasn’t like that until you arrived.” I could sense Gido’s curiosity from behind the mask. “He’s far more frightened of you than me, enough to make him wish to escape reality altogether. You’re a cruel sort for wanting him back, but then, isn’t he used to this? Waiting for you to unlock a cage for him?”

I’d had quite enough of him at that point. I didn’t need for him to point out my mistakes. I knew them well enough. “One last thing,” I said, eager to leave. “I want to know the name of the man I’m going to kill.”

“That’s an odd thing to care about,” Gido said.

“I want to remember him. I want to know.” This way I had a name to place to my downfall besides my own. If I could have killed him properly the first time, none of this would have happened. It was Gido’s doing and my own, but it was this bastard’s too.

“Harlock,” Gido answered. “Phantom Harlock.”

I left, following the uneven steps of the wolf, though it didn’t seem certain of our path either. We seemed to find Harlock on accident. His voice gave him away. I could have recognized that damn voice of his anywhere. He seemed to be ranting about something, but I took no heed. I had hopes to make things quick.

I didn’t pay the other form there much mind until he got in the way of my sights. Then my target gave him a name. “Zero?” Harlock called to the suffering man. As much as I didn’t want to, I felt a moment’s regret. Zero, of all people? He must have had the worst luck to cross paths with me again here, but he also must have been in league with Harlock. In the end, it was his own doing.

I told him as much as I notched another arrow. “You should have known better than to get in the way again,” I said. “I had no need to hurt you too.” They would know my location regardless, so it made little difference.

Zero attempted a response, but the wolfsbane worked as Gido had promised, and he appeared to fall unconscious. Harlock’s attempts to rouse him did nothing, and I found the full force of the vampire’s rage and distress on me. “Dammit! What did you do, you son of a bitch?”

“I don’t have time,” I answered. Rather, I didn’t wish to answer. It was better to let him believe I’d done worse than I had. “If you come quietly, he will wake, but I need you dead, Harlock.”

“Like hell! I’ll kill you. This is all your fault. Everything that happened with Yama, it’s all your fault!”

“I know.” But it was his as well, just as it was Gido’s. We could all share the blame, but I would not take the fall, not while I needed to save Yama. I could have a second chance. He may have been a vampire, but he was still my little brother, whom I’d vowed to protect so long ago. I could fix things. We could be a family again. All I needed was one good shot.

With Harlock’s eye on me I saw no reason not to step out from the darkened corner I’d obscured myself behind. But as I did, I raised my crossbow, aiming for the center of his chest. If I hit just right, he would be finished then and there.

His eye narrowed as I squeezed the trigger. I saw a flash of a blade in front of him, heard wood splinter. I released the crossbow to reach for a stake, but he was on me before my old weapon hit the ground. He hadn’t been this fast before, hadn’t looked so ready to kill before.

In that moment, I realized how weak humans could be compared to them. I could feel his animalistic rage baring down on me as his blade shot up. I expected my death then; instead, my hand stung as though I’d been slapped. My grip on the stake loosened enough for it to be snatched away. Harlock vanished along with it, but I could feel his staggering presence at my back just before pain ripped me apart.

I knew only agony. Something was wrong with my back, twisted and broken. My legs fell out from under me, and I hit the ground half-blind from pain.  

“Yama never hated you,” Harlock said somewhere above me, his voice dark and low as a growl. “He didn’t want you dead, but he’s gone now, and you deserve to hurt like you hurt him. You don’t deserve any of the care he had for you.”

He was right. Yama didn’t owe me anything after how I treated him, and especially not after I killed him. He should have given up on me long ago. I didn’t deserve anything from Yama but contempt. Harlock was right.

About everything.

Except. Yama wasn’t gone.

I had a mind to tell him that, but I could only hiss air between my gritted teeth. The pain was too much. I could feel myself slipping. Overwhelming heat gave way to cool blindness as I gave up. I didn’t wish to die if it meant leaving Yama, but that was my final regret. Truly, I deserved death. I deserved worse.

Then again, it seemed I didn’t die as I woke to saltwater poured over my face. Spluttering and choking reignited the pain in my back enough to darken the edges of my vision once more. “No you don’t,” a voice rasped.

“Zero, you can’t be serious,” someone else said. Harlock, I was certain of it. He sounded just as angry as before.

“I’m not letting him take the easy way out, the bastard, not after all he’s done. He’s going to serve his time.”

Something bitter like a coin hit my tongue.

“He doesn’t deserve to live!” Harlock roared

“What he deserves is to live as one of us. You wanted him to feel Yama’s pain? He’s sure as Hell is going to feel it now.”

My heartbeat seemed too loud for that of a dying man, but then again, it didn’t seem to be my heart at all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to all my reviewers! You're too sweet. Sorry about the long wait.


	26. Ego Te Provoco

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promise this is the last chapter with huge chunks of flashbacks, okay.

Zero still looked like a man at death’s door. Pale and clammy as a fog-drenched harbor, his breaths rattled in his chest. Vampires didn’t get sick, but there was no denying that Zero looked the part.

All from one arrow.

“Fine… I’m fine,” he murmured as my father looked over him. No one was a proper doctor. None of us really needed to be, but Father was the oldest, so we let him take over in case he’d seen anything like it before.

“It’s certainly acting like poison,” Father said, “but I do think it’s working its way out of his system. The wound does seem to be healing, slowly but surely.”

Zero would have healed even faster had he not cut open his already-ruined hand to turn Ezra of all damn people. “It’s your own damn fault,” Zero had said after the man’s body had stilled, the blood doing its work. “We could have questioned him if you hadn’t taken things so far. He’ll be lucky if he maintains the use of his legs.”

“What use would questioning him be?” I’d asked, still considering tearing Ezra’s throat out while he slept.

“There’s no doubt he works for Gido. Why else would he be here? We may have been able to get a location out of him.”

“Well turning him won’t change anything. It’ll be weeks before he’s of any use to us.”

“Just let me have this, Harlock. I want him to serve his penance after what he’s done to me and my city. You had your retribution for Yama. Let me have mine.”

I couldn’t deny him that, not after I’d thought him dead. His heart had stopped like Yama’s, just from an arrow to his shoulder. He’d awakened slowly, his limbs weak but his mind clear. Even after my brother and I helped him stagger back to the ship, he was still mostly immobile. Blood helped return some life to him, but for an Oldblood to be left in such a state was unprecedented. We were immune to so much, strong and impossible and immortal.

This wasn’t supposed to happen.

Especially not to Zero.

And now he’d stuck himself with a Newblood who would undoubtedly stab him in the back. He must have had a death wish.

Well, that much had always been apparent. He was a magnet for trouble.

Just as he’d almost dispersed the swarm of us around him with insistences that he was fine, the little wolf wriggled his way to the front. He was in human form now, and he looked much angrier awake. He must not have brushed his hair because it was an unruly mess. In fact, he may have never brushed his hair.

“It’s wolfsbane!” he snapped, hands on his hips as he glared at Zero. “You reek of the stuff!” He seemed to enjoy yelling.

“We were in that part of town,” Wataru said. “The smell might have clung.”

The boy shook his head harder than he needed to. “No, no! None of you smell near as bad.”

Looking hurt, Zero sniffed the collar of his coat.

“It’s all over his hand and his shoulder,” the kid continued. “Gido always smelled kind of like that too.” Stomping toward Ezra’s unconscious form, the little wolf dug around in the man’s bandoleer ‘til he found a vial of clear liquid. I would have thought it holy water, but the wolf pressed his sleeve to his nose, his brows pinched.

Wataru took it from him as the little wolf made a “blech,” sound. “It’s concentrated wolfsbane,” the kid said. “I think Gido made the stuff.”

“You don’t remember?” I asked.

“He wiped most of our memories, I guess. Everything is kind of hazy.” The kid waved his hand like it wasn’t a big deal, though I could only imagine he wasn’t all that concerned about what had happened to him _because_ he couldn’t recall. Small victories, I suppose.

The “our” still rang in my ears though. There was still the other small wolf, the one I’d injured.

“So if we can get to the spot where the wolfsbane smells the strongest, we may be able to find him,” Wataru said. Our eyes all shot from the little vial to him.

“Maybe,” the kid said with a shrug. “Or if you can spot Sam somewhere when Gido sends him on an errand, you could follow him back.”

“Sam?” Wataru asked.

“The other werewolf. He’s about my age, but he was there longer. I don’t remember Gido too much – didn’t even remember that was his name ‘til you mentioned it – but I remember Sam pretty well. He didn’t talk much because he was always hypnotized. Eyes all blue and stuff.”

Wataru nodded. “We’ll have to wait until tomorrow to search again. The sun will be up soon.”

“I don’t think we should wait,” I said. I could feel their disapproval on me. “I’m going to go out again. I’ll be back before sunrise, or I’ll find a place to hide, but I don’t want to waste any more time. I’ll take the boy with me, and we’ll narrow down the search.”

When I nodded toward the kid, his eyes sparked with anger. I’d expected him to spout his hatred that I’d attacked them before, but I got a different sort of tongue-lashing. “I’m not a boy!” he screamed.

A girl then? Maybe I’d misjudged.

“My name is Nazca, and I’m a man!”

It was such a familiar spiel that I couldn’t help but smile. That just riled him up more. “Don’t you laugh! I’ll fight you, you vampire bastard!”

As his teeth began to grow and sharpen, Shep stepped between us and pat the kid on the head, somewhere between admonishment and affection. I was glad for his intrusion because I was certain I only would have served to make the kid angrier, no matter what I said.

Daiba had been the same.

No one but a stubborn kid would have been stupid enough to stowaway on a ship full of vampires. To his credit, I didn’t discover him until a few days into the journey. He’d hidden himself among our cargo, none of which was food. All he could do to eat was catch fish while we slept during the day. But when he gave into that option, I heard him moving about my ship. I caught him on the way back down from the deck, and I was far too tired not to be annoyed.

“You know I’m supposed to throw stowaways overboard,” I said with a sigh, rubbing a hand across my face.

In a thick Japanese accent, he spluttered on about how he could prove himself useful and why did we all sleep during the day and where was all the food. I waved a hand until he fell silent.

“We can deal with this in the morning.”

“It is morning,” he said.

“Evening,” I corrected. “Go grab an empty room or something. I don’t care. Just let me sleep for now. I’ll decide your fate when my eye isn’t stinging.”

“May I cook my fish?”

“Sure, kid.”

“I am not a kid!”

I ignored his anger in favor of going back to bed, but he was certainly a kid, somewhere in his teens and oddly blond for a Japanese boy. He was hardly tall enough to reach my chest and skinny as a rail.  Those big brown eyes of his were sharp though, piercing with curiosity and intelligence.

But mostly anger. He always seemed angry.

“I want to join your crew,” he demanded the next time we spoke.

“No. I’ll let you off at our next port. This is no place for a child.”

“I am no child! I’m fourteen!”

Richard stepped in, all smiles. He clasped the boy’s hands in his own, which the boy was quick to frown at. “Can you tell us your name?” Richard asked.

“Daiba Tadashi.”

After a moment’s consideration, I decided Daiba was his surname, and he’d given his names in the same order Tochiro had the first time we met. I doubted Richard noticed.

“Nice to meet you, Daiba. I’m Dick, and this is my brother, Phantom.”

“Harlock,” I corrected. “Call me Harlock.”

“If you’re the captain, I will call you Captain,” Daiba said.

I said nothing, so Richard continued. “Daiba, I know you want to join a pirate ship, but this is not the one for you. When we go to our next port, you can talk to captains there and see if any of them would be willing to take you in as one of their crew.”

Daiba’s gaze darted aside. “I tried. They all want me to warm their beds.”

A chill shot up my back. Richard’s eyes were wide as a startled rabbit’s. “Then why stowaway?” I asked. “You didn’t know what we could do to you.”

“I had to run. The townspeople said I killed my father, but I didn’t! It was that thing!”

“What thing?”

I almost didn’t catch his answer, mumbled down toward his chest. “The yokai.”

“Did you see this yokai?” I asked. Richard looked to me for answers, but I gave him a glance that said it wasn’t the time. Yokai were Japanese demons, meaning his father had likely been killed by one of us. Daiba just used the yokai explanation to make sense of it.

“I didn’t see much,” Daiba said, hands clenched tight in his lap. “But it was not human. I had no proof, so they were going to lock me away. You…don’t believe me, do you?”

“I don’t see why you would lie about this to a pirate. Having a kill on your record would usually be a good sign to us.” I shrugged. “I believe you. The trouble is, Daiba, none of us are human either.”

Richard looked as startled as the kid that I’d admitted it so quickly, but I knew I would be dealing with endless begging if I didn’t tell the truth now. Daiba was clearly the stubborn sort, and he wouldn’t give up on joining my crew without a fight. It was best to pull my trump card now.

“You’re…not?” Daiba echoed, expression screwed up in confusion.

“Don’t believe me?” I smiled wide enough to show off a fang. “There’s a reason we don’t go out in the sun – we can’t. We’re vampires.”

I expected more of a reaction than a blink. It didn’t seem to register for him. “What’s that?” he asked at length.

“Blood-suckers,” I attempted.

Still, nothing but a blank expression greeted me.

“You know, creature of the night? Have to drink blood to survive? Warded off by crosses and holy water and all that? Have to be staked in the heart or burned to die? Immortal?”

“So I can’t join your crew because I’m not a…vampire.” He tested the word, uncertain he’d said it right. He had gotten the pronunciation down, but he’d gotten everything else wrong.

“Daiba,” Richard attempted. “We drink blood as food, human blood. We might hurt you.”

Daiba set a determined expression, like a kitten trying to appear intimidating. “I can defend myself.”

Considering his scrawny arms and lack of any visible weapons, I doubted it.

“It may very well have been a vampire that killed your father,” I said. 

“But it wasn’t any of you, right? You seem nice. You didn’t kill me when you could have.”

Poor as his logic was, we didn’t have much of an option at that point. We wouldn’t see port for at least a week. Despite his continuing protests, I assured him that he would be let off once we arrived.

That should have been the case. It would have been for the best.

But with the boy on-board, Richard would drink when I told him to. He still gagged against attempts to swallow blood, shuddering and turning his nose up at the smell, but he forced it down. He knew he would attack Daiba if he grew too hungry. The boy kept my brother stable.

When we arrived at port, I made no mention of Daiba getting off, and Richard couldn’t stop grinning. He adored Daiba. That was the boy’s downfall.

Daiba saw my brother’s affections as patronizing. I often heard screams of “I’m not a child!” when he received one too many pats on the head. Then he would retreat behind me, grumbling about my brother. “Not a little kid,” he’d say.

“Well, you’re certainly not big,” I’d return.

He’d fume and blush, but he never yelled at me like he did my brother. In his short time as a human, he didn’t grow much. He was eternally short and eternally angry about it. Richard’s increasing attempts to coddle him didn’t help matters.

It was all too obvious that my brother loved him, and it was all too obvious that my brother was slipping back into old habits despite or perhaps because of his infatuation.

I shouldn’t have left them alone. Richard became so violent when feral, so quick to claw and tear until he was covered in blood. By the time I was able to separate them, there were so many wounds on Daiba, I didn’t know where to put my hands to slow the bleeding.

He looked confused mostly. Pain burned in his eyes, but the confusion overwhelmed it. For the first time, he was quiet. He wouldn’t respond to me, lost in his own thoughts. I gave up on asking if he wanted to be turned for fear that he wouldn’t last much longer. Richard had warned him. We were dangerous. That was the last time I allowed a human to be part of my crew.

While Daiba slept in the limbo between life and death, I cleaned Richard off until there was no sign of his involvement. Perhaps if I’d let him know, he would have corrected his behavior, but I didn’t want him to suffer. I told him we’d been attacked, and Daiba had gotten the worst of it. Once Daiba awoke from being the most troublesome feral I’d ever seen, unable to recall his final moments, he backed up my lies.

Now that he felt safe around the newblood, Richard showed his affections even more. Daiba, of course, whined more. I always thought both he and my brother oblivious. Daiba didn’t seem to realize what Richard felt was love, and neither did Richard.

But I never paid much mind to Daiba’s clinging to me or his constant blushing in my presence. I was just as oblivious. We were all young and stupid at the time. Everything was simpler then, more innocent. I knew nothing of the lords and little of hunters. I thought Wataru was off growing old somewhere. I was a young, stupid, immortal pirate, and I thought I could stay that way forever. I thought _we_ could stay that way forever.

But when that thing that wasn’t my brother once again took over and Daiba slipped back into quiet confusion before his agonizing end, the illusion was no more. I was able to retrieve Richard after he ran but not whatever was left of Daiba. The smell of Daiba’s blood was overwhelming on my brother, and I had no time or mind to clean him off him before he returned to himself.

Once he woke, he wouldn’t stop asking where Daiba was, his voice empty and broken. I couldn’t answer. I just watched him desperately trying to scrub the flaking blood from his hands. When his request changed suddenly, it came with a sobbed laugh.

“Phantom, please. Dear god, please kill me. You can do it, right? Just destroy the heart to kill a vampire. I’ve seen you do it before.” He fell to his knees in front of me and took my hand, pulling it to his chest. “Please, big brother. Just let it end.”

I should have. Even without the knowledge of what he would become, I should have known well enough to kill him then. He was destined to die young, weak and resting in bed as sunlight warmed him through the window. We’d always expected him to slip away just like that.

He was supposed to die. He wanted to die.

But I thought I could force him to keep living once again.

I pulled my hand out of his grasp as he looked up at me with desperation. I told him that I would not let him die. 

He vanished a few days later.

That was why it was not Wataru’s fight, nor my father’s. That was why I had to be the one to kill Gido - I had to be the one to kill my little brother - I owed him death.

Of course, my family attempted to convince me otherwise. They hounded me about waiting until the next night or taking them along. Everyone else agreed except Nazca, who insisted he was enough of a bodyguard on his own. “I can take on one vampire by myself!” he screeched, though something seemed to trouble him about the idea. He hesitated, eyes rolling up in thought. “Or…two? I feel like there were two.”

“Then Gido does have a cohort,” Father said. “You definitely need to take us along then, son.”

With so little time before daylight, I gave in, bottling the urge to hit my brother and father. They didn’t need to look so smug about it. 

Wataru asked Shep to accompany us as well, and the wolf gave a nod before slipping into another room to transform. Nazca just stripped right then and there in front of all the awkwardly-averted eyes. Luckily, his transformation was over in a quick flurry of fur. He was a mangy thing, looking more scrappy dog than wolf, especially when clean-cut Shep stood towering over him.

“Alright, Nazca,” I said once we were all outside. “I want you to close your eyes and listen to my voice.”

Even with the face of a dog, he did a good job conveying his displeasure with the idea.

“Just do it.”

He did, plopping down on his haunches with his chin held high. The ear that didn’t flop over stood taut at attention.

My family all had the same face and much the same voice, so I would need to become Gido for a moment. Trying to hypnotize Nazca into giving me information would do nothing. Gido’s hypnotism was leagues beyond mine and would cancel out any attempt I made. My only other hope was pure dumb luck and muscle memory.

“Return home,” I said in as calm-but-commanding a voice as I could. “Just follow where your legs take you, and go back to base. Go where you and Sam would stay. Do as I say. Come back to me.”

He must have understood my ploy because he broke into a dash before he’d even opened his eyes. I had to hop out of the way to keep from being barreled over, and then we were all running like idiots.

Shep seemed to be the only one not struggling to keep up, racing just ahead of us with long, smooth strides. It was a good thing he was there because we would have lost Nazca otherwise. Werewolves had an advantage of speed over vampires that had us sliding into walls at sharp turns. It was a wonder we didn’t wake the whole neighborhood.

“Do you think he actually knows where he’s going?” Father asked between panting breaths.

“No,” I answered honestly. I had no doubts that this was little more than a wild goose chase.

“I’m too old for this,” Wataru wheezed.

Father barked a laugh at that, and I couldn’t help but roll my eyes despite my smile.

The sound of a gunshot silenced us. A screeched yelp signaled a dog’s pain, but as we rounded the corner toward its source, I could hear nothing but a jagged growl. Despite having no voice, it appeared Shep could make his anger known, and he did look furious. His eyes were wild, blood glistening in a dark stain down his front leg. He must have been shot in the shoulder, and that amount of blood could have only come from a silver bullet, but he showed no concern; He stood over the cowering form of Nazca, the boy trembling like the wind had frozen him through. In the moonlight, his round, dark eyes shone a bright blue.

Across the square, Gido stood reloading his pistol. His lip curled in annoyance. He was alone, armed only with a single-shot gun. It shouldn’t have been this easy.

In three steps, I’d placed myself between him and the wolves. Shep’s growl faded to nothing before I heard the sound of a body hitting the ground. The pain must have gotten the better of him. Wataru called to him, his steps crossing behind me toward the wolves. Father’s steps retreated back into the alley. He had a mind to flank Gido, but I hoped I could finish things before my father or brother could step in.

“I’ve always been a terrible shot,” Gido said, checking over his reloaded gun.

“This is the end,” I said. “Enough running.”

He acted as though he hadn’t heard me. His pulse remained even while mine raced.

“What do you hope to accomplish?” I snapped.

He shrugged. “I want you to suffer. It is my nature. It’s what I was born to do.”

“You’re just-!” Just what? Some sick bastard? Some sadist? Something from my brother’s own mind?

“I am what your brother wanted.”

“Lies!” Wataru and I spat.

He waved the gun like an extension of his hand. “More or less. He bottled his hatred, so now you have me – all that desire. All I’ve ever thought and wanted was for you to suffer, Harlock. That was your brother’s last desire as a human, his first as a feral. That’s me.”

“I understand,” I said, biting back my rage. I wanted all of that to be lies. Richard was far too kind for those thoughts to be part of him, but I couldn’t blame him for hating me after all I’d done to him. “But it doesn’t mean any of your actions toward others were justified. You’ve made far more suffer than just me.”

“Well, we’re supposed to be demons, aren’t we?” His lips tugged toward a vicious grin. “You and I both know we feel a rush whenever we kill. We’re made for it. To that end, I was doing what I was meant to. The weak are meant to be culled and controlled. I’m a Lord, after all. I’m supposed to lead. I make the rules.”

“You’re outnumbered, so your laws are overturned,” Wataru said as he came to stand at my side. Soldiers always spouted the worst lines. I tried not to make my cringe too obvious.

But Gido flashed a grin. “You’re right. Let’s even things up a bit.”

I tried to throw a hand out to smack over Wataru’s damn eyes, but Gido was quicker. For hypnosis to work, we had to take in both our target’s eyes. No matter his skill, Gido could not surpass this requirement. That was why he always ran from me. The one perk of my eyepatch was that hypnosis couldn’t take hold. That had always been my advantage over Gido. That was why I should have come alone.

“Come along, big brother,” Gido purred as Wataru’s eyes glazed over like ice on a pond. “You would always take my side against Phantom. So for old time’s sake, let’s end him.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Goddammit, Wataru. 
> 
> Also, big thanks to my reviewers! Always motivating to get a comment. BlastedHead figured me out haha.


	27. Fiat Lux

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fiat Lux.   
> Let there be light.

Wataru and I always joked about who would win in a fight, and we’d had our spats. But this was different. This wasn’t for punishment, not him losing patience with me, not some harmless bout.

His hands shot toward my chest anytime he came within range. He wanted to tear my heart out. He wanted me dead. Well, it wasn’t really him.

My only thought was to stall. His reach was longer than mine, and if I made one wrong move, I was as good as dead. If it had been some other vampire aiming to kill me, I would have had little trouble moving in close and ending his life first. But this was my brother. I could only hope for an opening to knock him out.

In the cramped quarters between homes, I leapt back from him over and over, always fearing my back landing against a wall. He closed each gap I made in an instant, one hand outstretched to grab or kill me.

I had to buy more time. Useless as he was, Father wouldn’t abandon us. He would show up eventually to help.

Any moment now…

If that bastard did abandon us again, I would come back from the grave just to kick his ass.

Despite his empty eyes, Wataru wasn’t as mindless as he appeared. I was wrong to think I was leading him, as I saw the walls in my peripherals narrowing into a corner. He’d herded me right where he wanted me.  

With my options limited, I tried to dart past him. Immediately, I realized my mistake. His hand caught my throat and slammed me into the wall. The wooden structure crackled at my back.

“Wataru,” I hissed, catching his eye. The familiar song of hypnosis tinted my voice. “Stop.”

His eye flashed red for an instant, just long enough for me to know he was fighting, just long enough for his fingertips to pause against my chest. It gave me enough time to grab his arm and snap the bone clean in two.

Though he didn’t make a sound, his grip on my throat eased. Shoving myself from the wall, I placed myself in his guard. “Wake up!” I roared, grabbing his head in one hand and smashing it down onto the dirt ground. The crack of his skull rang up into my shoulder. As knelt there panting, he remained still. Blood pooled out in a dark stain around his head.

I may have overdone it, but his heartbeat remained strong in echo to mine. Leaning in close, I breathed a sigh, “My apologies, brother. But please stay down.”

Regaining my feet, I looked back to the wolves. Nazca stood over Shep’s fallen form. The poor boy’s tail was tucked between his legs, though it was clear he was trying to look menacing in case of trouble. Gido, as always, had vanished from sight. I had to hope Father had tailed him.

“Nazca,” I called. The wolf’s ears perked up. “Try to drag these two to safety, somewhere out of the sun’s reach. If Wataru wakes, he shouldn’t hurt you, but stay out of his way just in case.”

He gave a nod. I had no choice but to trust him based solely on that. The sky was beginning to lighten.

I could still feel Gido and Father’s hearts, both racing now. They weren’t too far. I dashed down the nearest alley as half the sky stained the deep blue of the ocean. If the Sun caught me, so be it, as long as it caught Gido as well.

I came upon him in the middle of a crossroads, covered in nicks and gashes from the rapier clutched in Father’s hand. It hung limp in Father’s grasp, fallen to his side. His breath rattled like Zero’s had after that damn arrow hit him. The gash in Father’s shoulder, Gido’s cutlass, and the smell of wolfsbane in the air told the rest of the story.

As I rushed in between them, Gido stepped back. It seemed I’d arrived just in time, or something had stopped Gido from delivering a fatal blow.

“Sorry,” Father murmured at my back. “Let my guard down.”

“It’s alright, Vati,” I said. “Find a safe spot. Rest.”

His slowing heart raced a few beats. He always was easy to please. As his dragging footsteps grew distant, I stared Gido down.

“Enough running,” I said once again.

He said nothing, his lips pulled into a frown.

“Let’s end this.” I took a step forward, and he staggered back. It seemed all that talk was for nothing once he truly had to face me.

“Is Wataru alright?” he asked.

My blood boiled for a moment. He’d been the one to put Wataru in danger in the first place, but my confusion overwhelmed my anger. “What?” was all I could manage.

“You smell like his blood. Is he alright?”

“He’s fine,” I growled.

He swallowed. Then nodded. When he spoke, his voice wavered. “The house with the flowers in the window, back the way you came – go there when this is over.” A tear rolled down his cheek. “My god, it’s finally over.”

I took another step toward him, my hand reaching out on its own. And again, he stepped back away from me. His cutlass, stained with Father’s blood, clattered to the ground.

“Go back there, Phantom. Promise me you’ll go back.” More tears followed, bleeding out from under the mask.

This time, I didn’t give him the chance. In two quick steps, I stood close enough to rip the mask away. His eyes were puffy and red with exhaustion, yet they were the same brilliant blue as the sky overhead. “Richard,” I breathed. My hand came to rest against his cheek, and he leaned into my touch with a pained smile.

“Promise me, big brother.”

“I-I promise.” I couldn’t recall what I was promising. I only knew he was here now, my little brother. There was ground beneath my feet once more.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered. “I can’t stay.”

No, I had him back now. He couldn’t leave again. I wouldn’t let him. I wouldn’t let anything hurt him ever again. I would protect him. I would-

“Let it end,” he said.

My heart burst again, a cavernous, bloody hole in my chest.

“But you’re back,” I said, dazed. “It’s you. I know it’s you.”

“He’ll come back. He always does once the sun sets. Phantom. Please.”

“I can’t,” I choked. “I can’t kill you. I can’t lose you again.” I clutched his face in my hands, tears pouring from my eyes. “I can’t hurt you again. I’m sorry,” I sobbed. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”

Pushing up to his toes, he placed a kiss to my forehead and shushed me as though I were the younger one. “You don’t have to kill me. It’s alright. I should never have asked you to. But let it end.”

He placed his hand to my chest and shoved be back hard enough for my back to hit the wall. Again, he took a few steps back, out of the shadow of the house shielding us and into the sun’s burning rays.

“Richard,” I gasped, stumbling forward to grasp at him. Even with my glove, the moment my hand found sunlight, the sting made me jolt back. I couldn’t imagine my brother’s pain as he fell to his knees, steam rising from his skin.

“It’s okay-it’s okay,” he lied. He forced his eyes up to mine, a bright, brilliant smile easing onto his face. “I know Gido always wanted to make you hurt, so it’s cruel of me to give him what he wants like this, but I’m happy you’re here with me. I didn’t want to be alone.”

His breaths became ragged gasps for air, and I started toward him again. I wanted to pull him to safety, but if I couldn’t have that, I wanted to hold him close while he burned.

“No, Phantom, you have to live,” he said as a crack appeared in his cheek. “I’m not mad at you. I wouldn’t have traded those years with you and Daiba for anything. I want you to be happy like that again, with him. So live for them. And for me.”

His cheek began to crumble away, graying into ash and falling like snow. It infected his eye until he mirrored me. As I tried to find something to say other than an apology, he turned toward the sound of uneven footsteps. A young boy with rattling breaths hobbled toward us, his hair a mess of auburn. Blood dripped from his chin with his every lurching step.

“Sammy,” Richard called, and the boy’s red-hued eyes lit up. He collapsed into Richard’s awaiting arms as they too crumbled into dust. “I’ve got you,” Richard cooed as though speaking to a pet, as I felt sure he was.

“I’m sorry,” I said, this time to the boy. I doubted he heard me. His eyes fell shut as he rested his head in Richard’s lap, his breaths softened into nothing as Richard ran his vanishing fingers through the boy’s hair.

“It’s alright,” Richard said, a soft, contented smile on his face as he watched the boy. “It’s so warm. I’ve missed the sun.”

Finally, his body could no longer sustain him, and he fell away completely into dust. The boy lay alone with a pile of clothes. Unable to bring myself to leave him, I reached into the light and snatched him out of it.

It felt wrong to hold him, but nothing felt right anymore. Ducking into the still-shadowed alleys, I returned to the square where I’d left Wataru and the wolves. No signs of them remained. With the sun bearing down on me, I was left with no other choice but to hide away in the home with the flowers in the window. I had to return there anyway. I couldn’t deny my brother his last request.

The door was open, and the darkened staircase was an inviting reprieve from the blinding sunlight. As I carried the boy down, I felt the echoing drum of heartbeats. My family must have found the safe house as well, allowing me to finally breathe a sigh of relief.

It wasn’t until I reached the bottom of the steps that I noticed the two forms huddled in the corner of an open cell. They were much too small to be my family, yet their hearts beat as mine. Gido must have turned others, then.

That explained why Richard wanted me to come back, to take care of Gido’s newbloods, the poor things.

Settling the boy’s body on the floor, I crept toward the cowering forms. With no idea how they might react to me, I had to be prepared for a fight.

“Are you awake?” I called, my voice raw and hardly recognizable as my own. “Excuse me, I mean no harm.”

One of their heads popped up from being buried against the other, and a growl began. Just as the thought of a feral rang in my mind, it tackled me to the ground. Brown eyes hung over my own, tips of blond hair prickling my cheeks. He reared back to slash at me.

“Daiba,” I said as though the name were foreign to me. His hand froze in the air. “Daiba… Tadashi Daiba…” I couldn’t find anything else to say but his name, over and over. Perhaps that would make it real.

“It’s me, Daiba. Harlock. Captain.”

Of course, he didn’t understand. If anything, he found my scent familiar. His eyes remained fogged, his lips drawn into a snarl. I moved slowly so as not to startle him, bringing my hand up to my mouth to tear open my palm with my fangs.

He perked up at that, leaning down to latch onto my hand without hesitation. He gnawed on me like a dog chewing a bone, just like he always had. Daiba. This was Daiba.

He gave a yelp as I sat up and threw my arm around him. Despite his hissing and struggling, I buried my face in his hair. The smell of him brought back a torrent of memories, of the way he’d sneak into my bed or lounge in my lap like a lazy cat.

“My little Daiba,” I hummed as I found myself crying again. This made him still. His growls warbled into purrs. I must have held him for hours, until he fell asleep once more.

I would have been content to remain like that all day, having someone to hold onto once more. But my head snapped up as I suddenly recalled the other one. His heartbeat tipped me off, a frantic trill. He must have woken and noticed me because he’d pressed himself into the corner, clutching his head for protection.

Daiba gave a grumble as I set him down. It seemed he truly hadn’t changed from the clingy newblood I remembered. “Hang on,” I said. “I’ll be just a moment.”

As I eased closer to the other one, his trembling increased to violent tremors. Definitely another feral. “It’s alright,” I called regardless. “I won’t harm you.” Flexing my hand broke open the wound again, and I held it out to the boy.

But he turned and slammed his back further into the corner, terrified of my outstretched hand.

He looked so certain I would hurt him.

Yama.

My Yama.

I fell to my knees in front of him as he tried to fuse himself with the stone at his back. “Yama,” I breathed. “Yama, it’s me.”

But when I reached for him, he screamed, bringing his hands up between us for protection. It was like a knife to the chest. Daiba appeared then, pressing himself to Yama’s side and purring like a roll of thunder. Perhaps Yama imagined him like Mii-kun, as he clung to Daiba in a frightened daze.

As much as I longed to hold them both and to ease Yama’s fears, my exhaustion was catching up to me. I couldn’t recall the last time I’d slept properly, and crying had left me drained. “Ah, _liebling_ ,” I sighed only to realize my English had failed me. A quick shake of my head cleared the blur from my vision for a moment. “Please be here when I wake,” I said as I settled myself to the ground beside them.

I must not have looked threatening that way to Yama because Daiba’s purring infected him. It made for a nice symphony to help ease me into sleep. By some miracle, I had no nightmares.

And by some greater miracle, I found them both snuggled into my grasp when I next opened my eye. Some sound had woken me, but I let my eye fall shut again. The mumbled voices I heard were familiar enough to give me no cause for alarm.

I heard yelling soon after, enough that I could only pretend to still sleep. And pretend I did. Daiba was growling about something, but Yama remained close enough that I could smell flowers with each breath.

“Harlock!” Tochiro snapped, loud enough to break through to me. “Wake up!”

“No,” I said.

“We’ll have to carry him back,” Emeraldas said.

“What about Daiba?”

“Zero can get him.”

“He’s going to rip Zero’s throat out.”

“I doubt Zero will mind.”

“He won’t! And that’s the problem.”

“Quit talking about me like I’m not here,” Zero snapped.

A smile tugged at my lips. I felt far too heavy to move. Even speaking felt impossible, but I managed some slurred attempt at communication. “S’everyone alright?”

“I guess?” Tochiro said. “Léopard and the others are helping get your dad, Wataru, and the wolves back to the ships. What, uh, happened to Gido?”

“Gone.”

“Oh… well then we’d better, um-”

“Promethium called a meeting,” Zero said over him.

My eye snapped open. “What?”

“It seems she found out the Lords were congregating here without her, and she didn’t care for it. She’s on her way. Léopard is shaking in his boots.”

That would be Hell to deal with. With everything else going on, I didn’t need that too. “Can I… just sleep now?” I sighed.

Zero laughed. “Go ahead. Rest. We’ll take care of you for now.”

As my eye fell shut once more, I saw Daiba gnawing on his hand. Of course, I could leave things to him and the others. Neither Tochiro nor Zero had ever let me down. All would be well.

At least until Promethium arrived.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And there was light.


	28. Gaudeamus Hodie

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As I wrote in my girlfriend's Valentine's Day card, "Everyone is the fucking gay."

Prying Daiba off of me took several minutes. His arms had snapped around my middle like a belt, and he grumbled in his sleep as I attempted to wrench his grip apart. After giving up on that, I pushed myself up, wriggled my hips through the loop, and pulled my legs free.

Naturally, he woke up at that moment, sat up in the bed with his hair a ruffled mess, and pouted at me. “I have to go see Harlock,” I said. “I have to make sure he’s alright.”

Once again, a piece of my memory seemed to have blotted out. The last thing I remembered was being in that cell; then I’d woken up surrounded by Harlock’s scent, back in our bed. It was infuriating to know that I’d lost time again. I’d been weak and scared enough to just block everything out. Now I knew nothing. I hadn’t been able to help anyone.

But something must have worked out right if Daiba and I were back on the Arcadia. I just hoped that meant Harlock was still in one piece too. If something had happened to him or Tadashi or anyone… The thought made my chest ache. I would never forgive myself for being weak and oblivious while they fought for me.

Daiba followed me up to the deck while adamantly holding my hand. As we stepped through the hatch, the vast sky greeted us with its brilliant scattering of stars. Daiba’s eyes fixed on it. He looked as though he wanted to reach out and grab the constellations.

“Did you miss the sky?” I asked him, though I knew I wouldn’t get an answer. “I think I missed it too.” I’d been imprisoned for such a short time, but something about the idea of being trapped made me long to be outside.

“Daiba was our navigator,” Harlock said from above us.

Daiba turned with a jolt. Seemingly on instinct, his arm shot out in front of me as a shield. Harlock stood on the upper deck, leaning against the ship’s wheel. His expression was calm as he looked down on us. “He knew the star maps better than anyone,” he continued, “so we let him take over navigation, though we didn’t really need him to.” A smile eased onto his face. “It’s good to see you awake, Yama.”

Daiba’s stance eased as I nodded. After making sure all Harlock’s limbs were still attached, I let out the breath I’d been choking on. He was unhurt, maybe not alright, but unharmed. I wanted to ask about what had happened, about his brother and everyone else’s safety. But for all the questions on the tip of my tongue, I couldn’t seem to say any of them. Words stuck in my throat like barbs.

“Oh, you’re up!” Kei’s voice chirped as she strode up behind me. She slung one arm around my shoulder and shoved her other hand against Daiba’s head. As he hissed and spat and tried to claw toward her, she just kept her arm straightened and held him away. “Tadashi won’t say it, but he’s been worried about you, so make sure to go see him. Great Harlock’s been asking after you too, but I’m sure he’ll show up as he pleases. And you’ll need to meet Emeraldas and Nazca.”

“So everyone’s…okay?” I managed. Great Harlock could only have been Vati. That sounded like something only he would want to be called. And I recalled Dick mentioning the name Nazca. Emeraldas sounded familiar as well. It seemed like things had turned out alright. Some people were still unaccounted for, but I wanted to hope for the best.

Kei tossed an answer around in her head as her eyes darted back and forth. Finally, she shrugged. “Tadashi, Shep, and Nazca are still on the mend, but they’re doing fine.”

My voice fell to a whisper. “And Dick…?”

Harlock dropped down beside us, his expression unreadable. “You talked to him?”

“He was very kind,” I said, unsure how much Harlock needed to hear about my talks with his brother. The last thing I wanted was to upset Harlock further. He was doing his best to hide his pain, but I could see it in his eye. I knew him too well for the mask to work, but I wasn’t going to force him to remove it.

Daiba gave up on fighting Kei and slinked up to Harlock’s side instead. With a tired smile, Harlock patted the messy blond locks. “I’m glad you were able to see him as he really was,” he said. “I’m afraid we couldn’t save him or the wolf child, but we lost no more than that. Finding the two of you…” He breathed a sigh but kept his smile, even as the pain in his eye grew into an ache.

Kei let me go as I stepped away to go to Harlock. Reaching up, I took his face in my hands. He looked tired, so tired the years must have caught up with him, but adoration filled his face as he looked down at me. “I’m so glad you’re alive,” he murmured. “I was lost without you.”

As much as I wanted to, I couldn’t promise I’d never die, so pressing up to my toes, I kissed him instead. It was short and simple, the most I could bring myself to do out in the open. He breathed another sigh as I pulled away, already blushing up to my ears.

“I love you,” I mumbled, hoping Kei wasn’t paying us any mind.

“Oh!” Harlock said, startling me. “I almost forgot.” Reaching into his coat, he pulled out the little gold ring. “Tochiro found this-“

Daiba snatched the ring from Harlock’s hand so quickly, I didn’t see him move. Harlock must have, as he was just as quick to grab for it. “Daiba, no!” he scolded.

Daiba clasped it between both hands and hopped out of Harlock’s reach. The chase might have gone on had Kei not been there to catch Daiba by the collar as he tried to rush past. He made a sound like a cat whose tail had been stepped on, his eyes wild with rage as Kei tossed him back toward Harlock.

“You haven’t changed a bit,” Harlock grumbled, locking his arms around the wriggling feral.

With Harlock’s hands full, I stepped up to Daiba and took his face in my hands as I had Harlock’s. “Careful, he’ll bite,” Harlock warned. But Daiba stilled, still pouting as he looked at me.

“He just wants attention,” I said. “He’s cute.”

“Oh, and doesn’t he know it,” Harlock sighed. “He’s not much different when he’s not feral.”

Harlock just didn’t get it. Daiba was even easier to manipulate than he was. Turning on my sweetest sing-song voice, I cooed at the kid. “Daiba, can I have my ring back?” Even if he didn’t understand, he allowed me to open up his hands and retrieve the ring. Slipping it back on my finger felt comfortable, as though some part of me had returned.

“Oh, he’s the feral whisperer,” Kei said. “Maybe he can get through to his brother.”

Harlock’s spine stiffened. His eye went wide. His arms must have tightened too because Daiba gave a whine.

“What?” was all I could manage. The ship could have caught fire around me, and I wouldn’t have moved. Every piece of me felt cold and numb.

“Kei,” Harlock hissed.

But she shrugged. “He was going to find out sometime. Better get it over with.”

I found my fingernails digging into my palms. Daiba reached up and patted at my cheeks as I had his. “There’s a lot to explain,” Harlock said. “We’ll…need to go to the Karyū.”

Harlock kept talking as we moved to Zero’s ship. He kept saying things, and I kept nodding. For all I knew, I could have been agreeing to murder, but I couldn’t bring myself to care while my brother lay on a bed and growled like a dog being backed into a corner.

“Oh, hush,” Zero said as he leaned against a bedpost. “Awfully temperamental, aren’t you? You just got fed, so you’re not allowed to be grumpy. Be nice to your guests.”

He couldn’t just talk to Ezra like that. Ezra commanded respect. Ezra should have gotten up and demanded an apology at the very least. That just seemed like something he’d do even as a feral. Seeing him prone felt surreal, like all reality had flipped on its head.

“Why is he just lying there like that?” I asked in a whisper.

Harlock made a noise to suggest he’d already told me the answer to that, but Zero smirked at his annoyance. “His spine was damaged,” Zero said. “As far as I can tell, he won’t be walking again, but we’ll be able to find workarounds, so he’ll be able to move without too much trouble. For now, though, he’s just an irritable feral who tends to swipe at anyone who gets close.”

Ezra attacking me didn’t scare me, but my legs wouldn’t budge. Looking at him made me feel empty. I’d wished for this, hadn’t I? I’d imagined him living forever.

“He’s going to kill himself,” I murmured. “There’s no way he’ll let himself live like this.”

“Like you?” Harlock asked.

I flinched against his words, like a slap to the face. He was right. I’d hated it at first. I’d wanted to die.

“He’ll get over it,” Zero said. “We all do. Perhaps, given some time, the two of you can reconnect, but for now, I’ll look after him for you.”

We spent a few moments listening to Ezra growling as I continued to stare at him, trying to will myself to move closer or farther away. Zero, after trying to shush my brother again, looked back toward Harlock. “Have you picked a second yet?” he asked.

“No. Kei turned me down and so did Tadashi. All of the other men keep avoiding me. When I tried to ask Tetsuro, Tadashi just about killed me. With Tochiro seconding for Emeraldas, I can’t con anyone into it.”

“What about Yama?”

I looked up at the sound of my name to find a skeptical Harlock staring back at me. “Yama?” he echoed.

“It’s not as though the seconds do much,” Zero said.

Harlock turned on Zero quick as a whip. “I don’t need Promethium knowing about him.”

“She’ll find out eventually if she doesn’t already know. If Daiba wakes up by then, I suppose you could take him.”

“Daiba would say something stupid and get himself killed.”

“Your father makes it through the meetings in one piece.”

“Astoundingly.”

“Wait,” I cut in, drawing their eyes to me. “What’s going on?”

Harlock made that indignant noise again, while Zero reiterated for him again. “There are eight pirate lords, each symbolized by a very specific set of coins.” He pulled one of the familiar silver coins from his pocket.

“How are they different from regular coins?” I asked.

“These coins have been hexed so that we may touch them. Any other silver would melt our flesh right off. That’s how you know you’re looking at a genuine lord – they’ve got genuine silver in their hand.”

“…Hexed?” I echoed. I couldn’t help but feel skeptical.

He shrugged. “It’s an old spell from some witch, before my time even. The coins were made to represent pirate lords initially, so there’s an odd protection charm on them. It was strong enough to allow vampires to take hold of the coins as well, and thus the coins became those of the vampire lords rather than pirate lords over time. The old title still tends to stick though.”

“Wataru will fight you tooth and nail over it,” Harlock said. “He doesn’t care for being lumped in with us.”

“I can’t say I do either,” Zero grumbled.

“What does all this have to do with anything?” I asked before they could start bickering.

Zero began flipping the coin and catching it over and over in a lazy rhythm. “Oh, one of the lords noticed that several of us had congregated here: Wataru, Great Harlock, Emeraldas, Harlock Jr., myself, and formerly Gido.”

Harlock looked sick to his stomach. “Please never call me that again,” he said, but Zero paid him no mind.

“We found Gido’s Piece and gave it to the oldblood here, though I’m not certain he’ll keep it because he almost passed out when he got word that one of the other lords decided to call a meeting. She found out that we’d all gathered here, and she didn’t like being left out, so she and the other will be here soon.”

“That’s why I need a second,” Harlock said. “Each of the lords brings a second to the meeting. Seconds carry private messages back and forth between Lords, like carrier birds.”

“You’re also there to help calm things down,” Zero added. “The meetings can get heated, so the seconds are there to make sure no Lords kill each other. That’s why I think you’d be good for the job, Yama. Harlock may actually listen to you.”

Harlock looked like he wanted to argue, but he pressed his lips together.

“What is the meeting about?” I asked.

“Fuck all, usually,” Harlock said.

Zero rose his voice over Harlock’s. “We tend to trade information and discuss the implementation of rules. It’s boring but important.”

“I wouldn’t mind being your second,” I said to Harlock. “I’ll try to keep you out of trouble.”

The corner of his mouth tugged toward a smile. “You’re usually the one getting in trouble, you know. But very well.” Turning toward me, he gave a deep bow. “I would be happy to have you as my second, Yama.”

“I’m not sure why he’s the second when he’s clearly the one in charge,” Zero muttered.

Harlock’s eye sparked with rage. “You can be quiet. Your second walks all over you.”

I had a feeling I knew why Kei and Tadashi had turned down being part of the meeting. If all the lords were this petty, it would be a long night.

Luckily, Harlock estimated that it would take a few weeks before both of the other Lords arrived. In the meantime, we remained docked a ways outside of port along with the other ships. I did enjoy spending time on the Sirius, with little Manabu always trying to get my attention and Shep trotting after him. Wataru always offered to let me join his ship, like Zero did when I visited the Karyū. Harlock always grumbled about it.

Vati also encouraged me to visit, but Harlock was quick to discourage it, so Vati just took up residence on the Arcadia instead. The wolf boy Nazca stayed with us at times as well, though Meowdar loathed him. I would walk out onto the deck to find Meowdar yelling down at the yapping wolf, who circled the mast with a toothy grin. Mii-kun didn’t seem to mind him much, though.

I heard about Emeraldas, but I never saw her. Her ship was always a phantasmal image hidden by jagged rocks on the horizon. When I asked Harlock about her, he frowned for a moment before choosing his words. “She manages to be around at the worst of times. Even her kindness can be cruel, but I don’t know that I’ve ever met anyone else more worthy of respect.”

Kei called from across the ship, “She could step on me any day.”

I started to ask what she meant, but Harlock was quick to shush me.

Daiba was the greatest trouble of all, a cross between an irritable cat and an attention-starved toddler. Unless he could be snuggled up against me or Harlock, he wasn’t happy. Vati worked as a substitute until Harlock snatched Daiba away from him and threatened his father’s life. As always, Vati laughed it off.

Every morning, Daiba squished himself between us on the bed. He wouldn’t sleep otherwise. Harlock and I entwined our hands across him and whispered back and forth until I couldn’t keep my eyes open.

“Should we get married here?” I asked. “Everyone’s here already.”

“There are no nice fields around,” Harlock said with a sigh. “And I don’t have good memories of this place.”

“Getting cold feet?” I teased in hopes of cheering him up.

“Maybe I just want to wait until Daiba is conscious enough not to spend the whole ceremony trying to get between us.”

I breathed a silent laugh as sleep dragged me down. “Fair enough. Think he won’t do that when conscious?”

If Harlock answered, I didn’t hear it. Daiba purred in his sleep, and it was impossible not to pass out with the soft rumbling so close to me.

And when Daiba slept, he slept like the dead. He didn’t rouse when Kei woke us with the news that one of the other lords had arrived. Her voice rasped with her exhaustion and annoyance. “He just showed up on the deck,” she said. “He wants to greet you, Captain.”

Harlock’s eye drooped in equal annoyance. Worried he might kill the other lord, I rushed after his strides to the deck. “Hello!” a chipper voice greeted as we arrived. “I wanted to introduce myself before the meeting.”

“Have the other lords thrown you off their ships, or am I the first you’ve bothered?” Harlock grumbled.

I peered around him to find a smooth-faced pretty boy. He appeared Japanese with shining brown eyes and neat brunet hair. His outfit was tidy, as was that of the younger-looking boy standing slightly behind him. Besides the baby face of the younger one, the two looked similar enough to be related. But the younger also looked as annoyed as Harlock.

The elder boy laughed. “You’re just like I heard you’d be. I’m Mamoru Kodai, and this is my brother, Susumu. It’s a pleasure, Harlock.”

Harlock folded his arms across his chest. “If you know me, I see no need to introduce myself.”

“That’s reasonable. But more importantly, who’s this piece of art?” In a blink, Mamoru appeared at my side, his arm around my shoulder. “I’d love to hear an introduction from you.”

Before Harlock could go through with whatever violent thoughts flickered in his eye, something wrenched Mamoru’s arm off me. We both turned to find Daiba gripping his wrist and glaring. “Hands off,” Daiba snapped. It seemed the spell had broken. Our princess was awake. He didn’t look too thrilled about it.

But Mamoru’s grin widened, and he used his free hand to grip Daiba’s chin. “Well, aren’t you cute?”

I expected him to lose that hand. Daiba should have flown into a rage, but his cheeks blossomed red. “I-I’m not cute!” he stammered. “I’m Tadashi Daiba! I’m a man!”

“Of course,” Mamoru purred, which was about all I could deal with from him.

Stepping between them, I shoved him and Daiba apart. “I’m Yama,” I said.

Still, Mamoru was not upset by the turn of events. “Just Yama? You don’t have a last name? Should I call you mine?” he asked, his eyes sparkling.

Looking like the reaper come to collect, Harlock snapped a hand onto Mamoru’s shoulder. “He’s mine, Kodai.”

“Me too!” Daiba said.

Harlock’s rage faltered a moment. His voice cracked as he spoke. “Right, Daiba is also mine.”

Once again, Daiba’s face stained pink, and his whole expression brightened with a smile. His heart hammered away, though mine seemed to follow along. He really was adorable.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Look, I'm pretty pumped to write all these petty, old assholes in one room as their seconds roll their eyes. It'll be a good 'ol time.
> 
> By the way, the Kodai boys are from Space Battleship Yamato. They're good kids.


	29. Hinc Itur Ad Astra

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, this was going to be the last chapter, but I underestimated how much I still wanted to cover, so nevermind. I mentioned Promethium already in other chapters, but I don't think I ever noted that she's from Galaxy Express and Maetel Legend and Space Symphony Maetel and- I figure most of you know of her though.  
> Yamori is from Queen Millennia. He's the worst, but I love him.  
> Anyway, enjoy the petty old vampires.

Even conscious, Daiba stuck close. He didn’t cling as much, but he followed me or Harlock around wherever we went. When I asked him why he had any interest in me when we’d just met a few days before, he stared and cocked his head to the side. **  
**

“I don’t know,” he answered as I was starting to feel anxious under his gaze. “Anyway, we’re the same blood, so it’s normal.”

I wasn’t so sure, but he had some centuries on me. He would know more about being a vampire. Plus, I learned right away that arguing with Daiba was pointless.

I had hoped he would have found somewhere else to sleep once he was back to himself. Sure, the ship was full, but Harlock’s offer to get him his own bed was shot down.

“I can sleep with you,” he said.

“Well, it’s just, Yama and I are getting married,” Harlock attempted. Actually, we were already married, but we hadn’t mentioned that to anyone else.

Daiba gave him the same stare he gave me, eyes sharp and obstinate. “Yeah?”

Harlock and I both had to back down. I wasn’t sure how to handle him when he wasn’t feral, and Harlock looked far too stressed to go into detail.

I didn’t mind him sharing our bed exactly, but I couldn’t press myself to Harlock with him between us. I liked Daiba. I really did. He was cute and sweet and usually grumpy for no reason, but I just… I…

I really needed some alone time with my husband.

But I couldn’t just kick Daiba out, not after all he’d been through, not after he woke us both up with desperate sobs and gasps for air. I was so startled and groggy at the time that I could only watch as Harlock tried to reach out for him, only for Daiba to scream and cower against me. Harlock froze. Pain bled into his eye. He was blaming himself again.

“Daiba,” I called, as I wrapped my arms around him. He trembled as though fighting off the cold, his gaze lost to the past. “You’re alright. We’ve got you. You’re on the Arcadia. No one’s going to hurt you.” I breathed whatever comforts I could and rocked him until exhaustion claimed him, and he fell back asleep.

If he remembered what happened when we woke again at nightfall, he didn’t want to talk about it. He rolled out of bed, stretching every-which-way like a cat in a sunbeam. “I’m thirsty,” he grumbled as usual. “Can we go get some fresh blood today? I’m tired of this gross, stored stuff.”

“No,” Harlock said, not bothering to hide how his eye flicked over Daiba. “Scouts say Promethium will arrive today. We’re not going anywhere. I want everyone to be prepared”

“Prepared for what?” I asked.

He breathed a near-silent sigh before answering. “War.”

Daiba remained unfazed, but surely he felt my heart hammering. “War!?” I squawked. “What for?”

Harlock shook his head. “It’s just a precaution, Yama. It’s unlikely anything will happen, but I won’t take any chances. Promethium doesn’t like having to split her power with the other lords. She’s been vying for control longer than I’ve been alive, and I’m certain Faust was in her pocket. I took away some of her control, and she won’t be pleased with me. I won’t lie to you. She is intimidating. Try not to let her get the best of you. Avoid her if you can. I doubt I’ll have anything to say to her in private, so you shouldn’t need to carry any messages to her second either. I’m just hoping the meeting will be quick.”

“It had better be,” Daiba said. His shoulders were scrunched by his ears, his arms crossed. It would be the first time he’d be away from us both since Harlock found us.

Again, I found Harlock examining him as though he were a book that could be read. A sense of unease hit me, creeping up my spine and scratching at my chest. Just as I started to say how we should go up to deck, Harlock spoke over me.

“Daiba, I need to know what happened when you were held captive.”

Daiba’s expression flipped to a snarl. His eyes never left the floor as he spoke, icy and slow. “I don’t remember.”

When even I could tell he was lying, he was doing a bad job.

Harlock took a step toward him. “Daiba-”

“You don’t  _need_ to know,” Daiba corrected him. When his eyes snapped up, they pinned Harlock’s feet to the floor. “And I don’t remember, so it doesn’t matter now.” He spun on his heel and snagged me by the wrist. “Come on, Yama, I’m starving.”

I felt I needed to say something. “Ah, but-!” But what? I had nothing to fix the rift between them. In the end, I let myself be led away as Harlock remained in the room, looking as though he didn’t know where he was.

Daiba settled us both in the galley, his glare now fixed on the table. Tadashi served us our glasses between games of chasing Mii-kun from the kitchen. One round, my cat somehow carried out as fish as Tadashi threatened his life. Judging by the yells from the hall, Meowdar came to my cat’s rescue.

As I leaned toward the open door, trying to see what was going on, Daiba spoke with a melancholy in his voice that sliced through my heart. “Captain just wants to hurt himself,” he said. “Only wants to know what happened so he can wallow in guilt.”

I looked back to find Daiba swirling the blood around in his glass, his eyes showing his age for the first time. “I think he just wants to know about his brother,” I said. “He didn’t realize there was anything left of Dick. Maybe he just wants to…” I let the thought trail off as Daiba shook his head.

“He wants to know what happened to me. Even if I told him about when Dick was aware and in control, that would only hurt him more. He just wants to blame himself, and I won’t let him.”

Swallowing my anxiety, I asked the question I wanted the answer to as well. “How much do you remember?”

“Everything,” he whispered.

That wasn’t possible. It couldn’t be possible because it was too painful. Daiba didn’t deserve something like that. “What?” I asked, fighting to keep my voice down. “But when you’re feral-”

“I’ve always remembered. I remember how I died too, but Captain didn’t want to hurt Dick, and I didn’t want to hurt either of them. When Captain lied, I went along with him. It was for the best. Well, I guess it wasn’t. We should have been more careful with Dick.

“After Gido captured me, I didn’t last long conscious. It was killing people that made me lose it. I couldn’t handle it, so I let myself go feral. At first, it was like I was sleeping. It was like I’d let someone else take over, but then I realized I could open my eyes. The other me still controlled my body. I always felt I could take back over if I wanted to, but I couldn’t bring myself to do it. There were only a couple times…”

His features softened with sorrow. I didn’t like the way sadness looked on him. Anger fit him, but this felt wrong. “Sometimes Dick would try to apologize to me,” he continued. “He’d go up to the bars of the cage and let it melt his skin just so he could reach through and try to touch me. My feral side would back away, afraid of Gido, but I would take over enough that I could go up to him. It was exhausting, though. I couldn’t maintain it for long. And it didn’t make a difference if Gido had hypnotized me.”

He looked back to me. “Do you remember? I was the one who tried to kill you. I was the one who threw holy water on Tadashi.”

My eyes shot wide. “I-I didn’t see,” I stammered. “I never realized… But it wasn’t you! You were under Gido’s control.”

Daiba finished his drink and continued frowning as he set the glass down. “Gido really liked that idea,” he said, “using Harlock’s old newblood to kill his new one. Glad it didn’t pan out. I wouldn’t have been able to forgive myself if I’d hurt you.”

But the look in his eyes was the same as Harlock’s. He did blame himself. For what, I couldn’t imagine, but I put my arms around him and pulled him close just like when he had the nightmare. “You protected me, Daiba,” I whispered into his hair. He smelled much like Harlock with a dusty tinge like charcoal. “I was so scared, but you did your best to comfort me and keep me safe. Thank you for that. I don’t care what happened when you were under his control. None of that was your fault. In my eyes, you’ve done nothing but take care of me.”

His hands balled into the back of my shirt as he buried his face in my shoulder. “Yama,” he whispered, his voice trembling. “Come back, okay? You and Captain both. I’m so scared I’ll wake up back in that cell again. I’m so scared you’re a dream.”

He was more nervous about the meeting than I was. My poor little Daiba. “We’ll be right back, safe and sound,” I said, pulling back so he would raise his head. Placing my hands to his cheeks, I pressed my forehead to his. “See? I’m right here. I’ve got you. While we’re gone, you make sure Tadashi doesn’t kill my cat, alright?”

His brows knit as he looked me in the eye, and  a spark of determination flashed in his gaze.

I thought it was a good sign until he tilted his head and kissed me.

* * *

“Don’t be nervous, Yama. You already know most of the other lords, and they’ll keep things together.”

Still, he kept fidgeting, rubbing his hand across his mouth and leaning from one foot to the other. I was starting to worry I shouldn’t have put so much pressure on him by making him my second.

“Yama, if you-”

He finally looked at me for the first time since nightfall, his heart hammering in my chest. “Daiba kissed me,” he said.

Wait. 

I blinked at him as he stood there looking ready to lose his mind. “Is that what you’ve been worried about?” I asked.

“Yes!” 

He yelled loud enough that the other lords across the deck glanced over for a moment. We had to meet on Promethium’s daunting ship, as she was the eldest among us, but there was a palpable tension from every one of us.

And then there was Yama, red-faced with his hands slapped over his mouth.

“I’m kind of surprised it took Daiba this long,” I said. “He’s not good at hiding his feelings. He clearly loves you.”

Yama leaned in close and lowered his voice. “But he kissed me. We’re married, Harlock.”

This time all the other lords stared at me as I broke into a laugh. “I suppose we haven’t set ground rules, so it makes sense for you to be so nervous. If you don’t want him to kiss you anymore, just let him know, but I’m not opposed to you two exchanging affection. If you didn’t notice how Wataru and his wife acted, many vampires have open relationships. I can’t say I like the idea with sharing you with any strangers, but I’d be happy if you and Daiba were close. You’re the only person I’ve ever seen able to control him at all.”

Yama stood limp like a stringless puppet. Perhaps this was too much for the church boy’s mind all at once.

“So you’re not mad?” he asked.

“No. Do you want me to be?”

“No.”

“Would you be interested in pursuing a relationship with Daiba, or did you need me to tell him to back off?”

The more he thought about it, the more his expression became troubled. I was starting to think he wasn’t in the best mindset to join the meeting. I would need to calm him down quickly. As much as I would have liked to do so by drowning him in affection, this wasn’t the place for it. Seemed I didn’t have any place for it as of late.

“I don’t know,” he finally answered. “I just met Daiba. And isn’t that being unfaithful?”

“Not if I know about it and say it’s fine. You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to, Yama. Except this meeting. We both have to do this.”

He took a deep breath and released it with a sigh, allowing the tension to ease from his shoulders. “You’re right,” he said.

“I know. I’m always right.”

That got an unimpressed glare out of him. I had to fight not to smile, but he must have seen the amusement in my face regardless. “So how much longer will we be waiting up here?” he asked, crossing his arms. “She’s already had us waiting for ages.”

“Her second said they were setting up the meeting room. She may just be getting dressed. I don’t know.” Promethium had always been one for dramatics. Every time I’d seen her, she wore a crown made of some shining red stone and a dress dark as the void. Rumor had it that she had been a queen of some old empire as a human, but I had a feeling she started that rumor herself.

“That was her second?” Yama asked. “The one with the weird green hair? How is his hair that color anyway? Are there people with green hair?”

“I hear dryads have green hair. Maybe he’s part fae. Who knows?”

Judging by the way his fingers were tapping in annoyance, Yama didn’t believe me. There was still much I needed to show him.

“Or he could dye it,” I said, “but yes, Wataru informed me earlier that he’s Promethium’s second - Daisuke Yamori.” He reminded me a bit of Daiba with the fluffy hair and annoyed expression. He had a few inches on Daiba though.

“Wataru said he’s got quite the temper,” I added, “so try not to pay him too much mind. If anyone bothers you, I’ll step in.”

Yama muttered something about how he could handle himself, and truly, if anyone was going to draw any ire, it would be my father. In the few meetings I’d attended, he’d always gotten the most glares, even when we all hated Promethium far more.

But while I was at it, it seemed like a good idea to do some proper introductions. 

“Just so you’re not going in blind, Wataru is known for becoming furious at these meetings.” I glanced toward him so Yama would follow my gaze to where my brother stood. “If he goes quiet and you can feel his heart strongly, that’s our cue to avoid him. I’ve never seen him use that boy Bulge as a second before, so I can’t speak for how he’ll act. Seems like a fairly loyal guard dog.

“My father doesn’t use a second.” Again, I used my eye to point to where he stood alone, leaning on the rail. “Likely what gets him in trouble, but he’s too honest to pass notes like a school child.

“You know Zero.” I nodded toward where he leaned against the mast. Emotions flashed like a storm in Yama’s eyes when he looked to the captain. “He doesn’t act much different at meetings. His second, Marina, is so by-the-book she may be the only one who tries to make the meetings run like meetings.”

I used a twitch of my head to gesture to the woman not far to my left. “That’s Emeraldas. I’m sure you’ve heard about her.”

Yama’s brows shot up as he looked at her. “She’s pretty,” he said. “Isn’t that Tochiro’s girlfriend or something?”

“Or something is more accurate,” I said. Tochiro stood at her side with starry-eyed awe. I would have gotten onto Yama for suggesting the two weren’t a good fit, but honestly, everyone reacted that way. “She won’t talk much, but she may make use of Tochiro as her second often. She likes to do everything behind Promethium’s back. I guess I should mention beforehand - don’t be surprised by how similar they look.”

“Why’s that?” Yama asked.

But I shook my head. I didn’t have time to get into family history, and even if I tried, Emeraldas would sense me telling stories that weren’t mine and would come kick me off the ship. Quite literally.

Yama didn’t press the question, though I could sense his curiosity. He would need to keep a handle on that. The meetings often brought out old grudges.

“The other two groups are wild cards for me,” I said. “The Kodais aren’t even oldbloods. I can’t imagine how Mamoru came to be a lord.” Though considering this was Mamoru’s first meeting as a lord, he may have just lucked into the title. I doubted he would hold it long.

“How can you tell?” Yama asked. “Everyone else always seems to know how old a vampire is. I don’t get it.”

“You’re still a bit young, but you learn to sense it in the air around them. You can feel how old they are by the way the air resonates. Even you’ll be able to feel it around Promethium. She’s ancient, but the Kodais hardly have an aura. I’m not certain they’ve hit their first century.”

“What about Leopard?” Yama asked. “He looks nervous.”

Nervous was a nice way of saying it. Leopard looked like he was close to passing out. Even from across the deck, I could see him trying to keep control of his breath. If he weren’t careful, Promethium would take advantage of his fear.

“It’s his first meeting as a lord,” I said. The first time I met him was as Promethium’s second, all hardened eyes and stiff posture. When he betrayed her, the whole vampire community buzzed with shock. I was still just amazed he’d come out of it alive.

The rest of us excepting Kodai had promised to look after him in the meeting, though we hadn’t told him as much.

“I don’t know his second,” I said before Yama could ask. He was an older-looking man with dark facial hair and a calm, stern demeanor. Perhaps he could keep Leopard stable.

Yama returned to fidgeting with his clothes, new formal wear we’d commissioned. I may have gone overboard, but the shimmering green fabric I’d insisted on for the vest looked so nice on him that I really wanted it off. He kept tugging at his sleeves though, trying to make everything look smooth.

I let him try to work out his nerves for a minute before I stepped in front of him and adjusted his vest and sleeves myself. “You look fine,” I said as I tucked a stray bit of his bangs behind his ear. “We should get you a haircut though. You’re starting to look like Daiba.”

“Like you have any room to talk,” he muttered. The soft smile that graced his features left me hard-pressed not to kiss him. I made do with returning to his side and pressing close to him. He let his hand fall, so I laced our fingers together and listened to the waves wash along the ship’s sides until Yamori reappeared on deck. He seemed to think he had somewhere better to be. “Come on,” he called. “Time to get started.” Without waiting to see if we’d follow, he headed back into the dark belly of ship.

I didn’t need to look around to see the annoyance the others had for him. Irritation radiated through the air despite Mamoru’s chirp of “He seems fun.”

Promethium had gotten a new ship since last I sat in on a meeting, but this one was just as much of a fortress as the last. The outside had a wall of cannons as long as the horizon. The inside looked a maze, though all we did was traverse the steps. Down and down into the belly of the beast.

Yama drew in a sharp breath when he must have sensed Promethium. She was like a weight against my chest, so I could only imagine how Yama felt. This whole show was for her own benefit - placing the meeting at the base of her ship, making us all walk in to find her already perched at the head of the table.

Her expression was too calm to give anything away, too cold for any shred of comfort.

Honestly, the whole thing just reminded me how annoying and boring the meetings were. I should have skipped out on this one like I always had before. Plopping down in the nearest seat of the massive, round table, I crossed my legs and wondered why there was never any wine at these things.

Wataru and my father bit the bullet and took the seats on either side of Promethium. Undoubtedly, no one else would touch them. That landed me with Mamoru on my right side and Leopard on my left.

Yama stood to my right, slightly behind me, following the example of all the other seconds. Poor Tochiro wasn’t much taller than the table, and Yamori still looked like he’d rather be napping. Couldn’t say I blamed him.

“It has been awhile since there were any new faces at a meeting,” Promethium said. She never let emotions touch her voice when she spoke. Maybe she didn’t have any. “And I cannot recall the last time we had so many new lords at once.”

“Phantom’s not really new,” Father offered.

“True,” she said. “Neither is Leopard.”

Through some impossible courage or combination of drugs and alcohol, Leopard maintained an even stare with her as she looked to him. Luckily, he didn’t have to hold it long as Mamoru made his chipper attitude known.

“I am actually new,” he said, chin in his hand as he leaned against the table. “I didn’t get to introduce myself to you yet, ma’am, but I’m Mamoru Kodai.”

“I see.”

Not put off by her response, Mamoru kept his smile. There was no way this boy had come across a Piece by legitimate means. Still, I found myself unable to dislike him, no matter how hard I tried.

Emeraldas cut off any further chatter in an even voice with an underscore of malice. “If the formalities are over, let us get to the matter at hand. Why did you call this meeting?”

“So many lords gathered in one area, and you expect me not to?”

“Surely you could make sense of what happened through your networks,” Wataru said. “Given that so many of us are of the same blood, I don’t find it unreasonable that we would meet.”

“Yes, three of you,” she said. “Four if you count the dead.”

My whole body bristled with the urge to snap at her. She couldn’t even bother to recall his name. Yama must have felt the angry pulse of my heart because his fingers brushed my arm - just for an instant as he raised his hand to swipe at his nose. Not as subtle as he may have hoped, but it was enough to calm me.

“But you involved others,” she continued, “and though Leopard now holds the Piece, I heard nothing of a proper challenge. It seems to me you overstepped your bounds as lords.”

Her eyes were on me now. Though she pretended to speak to all of us, she wanted me to answer. Fair enough. I would take her challenge.

“Gido initiated a challenge against myself, Wataru, and my father when he sent hypnotized men after us in an attempt to bring us harm.”

“And you have proof these men were hypnotized by him?” she asked.

“You think I wouldn’t recognize the work of my own blood?”

“A weak excuse. By all accounts, you used the other lords to corner and kill another without proper reason or procedure. That is overstepping your bounds.”

I sensed Susumu move to Yama’s side and heard him whisper something into my second’s ear, but I paid them no mind. “If you want the absolute truth,” I said, “Gido killed himself by sunlight. It was not my doing.”

“There is no proof of such allegations. Regardless, he would not have done so had you not intervened.” She loved going to bat for anyone if it meant getting another lord in trouble. She was gunning for an excuse to be allowed to execute me herself. That was the price of meddling in another lord’s affairs. The more she tried to corner me, the more my blood boiled. She knew nothing.

Before I could respond, Yama leaned in and whispered, “Mamoru wants to speak for you. I believe the quote was. ‘Let me shut her up.’”

If he wanted to dig his grave with me, I wouldn’t stop him. Curiosity more than anything led me to turn to him and nod. He flashed me a grin that eased to a polite smile as he looked to Promethium.

“Ma’am, I know the statues of the lords are considered high authority, but are you suggesting they trump the old laws that govern how sires may oversee their newboolds? I have read both written law sets, and the lord set says nothing on the matter of lords being of the same blood. Rather, it states that the old laws should not be trampled on in any way that would benefit the lords exclusively. And, well, old law makes it apparent that sires can kill their newbloods if the newbloods go berserk or are dangerous.”

Promethium said nothing. None of us had anything to say. Even Emeraldas couldn’t hide her surprise. The cogs in Father’s head were spinning as he tried to recall the old books. He and Promethium were the only ones I’d known to actually read them.

Damn, I did like this weird kid.

The hush over the room broke when Yamori yawned, and we remembered we were able to speak.

“What else is on the agenda?” Emeraldas asked.

Promethium snapped her eyes onto Zero like a set of fangs. “I was told you turned a hunter.”

Zero had just finished folding a piece of paper he handed to Marina. “I did,” he answered, his brows pinched.

“Why?” she asked. I wondered if she felt disdain or curiosity or anything at all.

“That is a long story, and while I see no reason why you should need to hear it, you have no need to be concerned of him. I’ll admit to my reasons being largely motivated by spite. I wanted him to have to experience being on the other side. He’s entirely harmless, though.”

The folded note moved to Wataru, who didn’t have anything to write with, so he used his fang to pierce the pad of his thumb. Using the blood like an inkwell, his fingernail scratched some response into the page, no doubt in some code.

“You don’t think he may inform other hunters of what he learns?” Promethium asked. “I do not fear him, but perhaps you should.”

“He can’t even walk,” Zero said. “If he still wants me dead after all that has happened and finds a way to kill me, so be it.”

The note skipped to Father, who must have forgotten the code because he stared at it for a while before responding. Then to Emeraldas. Then Leopard, who didn’t write anything. Then me.

As Promethium continued interrogating Zero, I unfolded the note. It was an old code, but it was a pirate code, explaining why Leopard couldn’t respond. Promethium considered herself above a pirate, and he’d served under her. Undoubtedly Zero had only allowed Leopard to look at the note to make sure she couldn’t decode it if she cared to.

As I skimmed the page, I fought to keep my face placid.

_Why is this ship so quiet? Where is her crew?_

_She must have one. Did they make port and clear the ship?_

_What port could they have docked at? We would have seen them._

_Perhaps she has kept them hidden on the ship to mask her numbers. She does not like to give away information. She may be expecting this meeting to end poorly._

Unprepared like the rest of my family, I responded as Wataru had - in my blood.  _Maybe she was hoping for a war and that was why she challenged me. If any of you had sided with me or challenged her, she may have considered that grounds to attack our ships._

I folded it back and handed it to Marina, who skipped over a disappointed Mamoru. I couldn’t rule out the possibility that Promethium would find another excuse to attack. She did seem to be stalling.

But Zero was getting tired of it. I doubted reading through our responses helped matters, but he did well to keep his expression even. “Honestly, Promethium, enough digging into my affairs,” he said. “We should move to a topic that actually matters, like passing some sort of law regarding the limits of hypnosis and punishments for going overboard. There are surely more vampires with abilities like Gido.”

“You speak out of turn,” she said.

“Not really. It was my turn to speak, and I was done with that topic. Until we can all agree on some mythical, unbiased moderator, I don’t see why we can’t start a new topic when it’s already our turn.”

People didn’t challenge Promethium often. I suppose Zero lost the ability to care when he lost his arm. Before she could cut into him with some lecture, I heard a whisper behind me. “Ah, my cat!”

My heart shot out of my chest when Promethium’s gaze flicked to Yama. I turned toward him in hopes that he would look to me, but he maintained Promethium’s stare. “Did you speak, Second?” she asked.

Yama should have looked frightened, but all I could piece from his quick heartbeat and reddened cheeks was embarrassment. Either he’d learned to be an actor overnight, or he didn’t realize what a mistake he’d made. Either way, he was killing me slowly. I was dying from stress. Yama needed to stop making a habit of that.

“Oh, sorry. I didn’t mean to say that out loud. I was just thinking that my cat is really finicky and unbiased. He would make a good moderator. You could have whoever is able to get him to come to them the one with speaking power.”

He still wouldn’t look at me, and I couldn’t speak out of turn as well, or Promethium would jump down my throat. Dammit, Yama, look at me! You’re killing me! You’re murdering your husband!

“Your…cat,” Promethium echoed.

With my focus on Yama, I saw his eyes go wide, so I turned back to Promethium.

She was smiling. Almost like a real person. It was just the smallest curl of her lips, but none of us could hide our surprise. Father kept blinking, and Emeraldas had one brow raised. If even the oldest among us had never seen this, I wasn’t sure whether to be happy for Yama or concerned for his life.

Perhaps it was all just a group hallucination. The smile vanished without a trace as she spoke again. “Second, is it true you were raised in a church?””

Yama’s brows pinched, but his voice remained even. “That’s right.”

“And you were a hunter?”

“I was raised to be a hunter, but I never became one. I didn’t have the stomach for it.”

“I see.”

Though, I didn’t care for her sudden interest in Yama, there was little I could do. Seconds could contribute to meetings if called upon by another lord. Most of the other seconds appeared anxious at the prospect, except Yamori, who seemed to be counting the ceiling beams.

Second contributions were rarely more than a few words, never more than a simple clarification. Promethium’s next question caught me off guard enough that I had to bite my tongue to keep from interceding on Yama’s behalf.

“Do you believe hunters deserve to die for what they do to us?”

I would have killed to know what was going in in Yama’s head because his expression gave me nothing. His voice was firm as he responded. “I do not consider myself to have any say on who deserves to live or die.”

“Spoken like a true church boy,” Promethium said. “Who do you believe has this authority?”

“That’s an impossible question. Hunters believe they have the authority from god, and in-turn vampires take revenge against them in an endless cycle. It’s not just a problem between hunters and vampires either. Anyone can decide they have the authority to kill. The reality is that no one does. No one should have the ability to choose who lives or dies because if one of us does, we all do. I understand it is an impossible ideal, but it is the truth. Even if there is not a god, no one should try to take his role.”

Promethium eyed him for a few more tense seconds of silence. “Harlock,” she said, making my heart explode from shock. I was too old for this type of stress.

“Yes?” I responded.

“Your second is amusing. Keep him well.”

“I will,” I said automatically.

“I hear you’re getting married. Is that right?”

I didn’t know which way was up anymore. “That’s…right.”

“I suppose I can’t spoil a wedding, but make sure I’m invited.” She gave a nod as though in assent, like when Wataru let me keep a mutt I found on the street. Though I was uncertain what she intended, I felt she had decided to forgive me for today. I was allowed to breathe again.

Not that I wanted Promethium anywhere near my wedding, but if an invitation was all it took to hold back a war, I would live with it.

The rest of the meeting passed in its usual mind-numbing manner. Wataru grew so angry at my father’s suggestions on piracy laws that my brother sat fuming in silence for the rest of the meeting. Yamori somehow fell asleep while standing. Leopard managed to not hyperventilate when Promethium questioned him over how he would carry himself as a lord. For some reason, she didn’t ask Mamoru the same questions, though he needed a distraction from the way he was staring starry-eyed at Yama.

My attempt to send Yama over with a message that I would kill him if he didn’t stop had no effect. Then again, judging by the look Yama threw me, he didn’t carry the message faithfully.

By the time Promethium called the meeting to end, we all had to stretch the kinks from our backs. Yamori jolted awake when Promethium stood and the rest of us were filing out. I had to wonder why she kept him around. Must have been a good guard dog when things got heated.

Everyone separate with grumbles and sighs as we reached the deck. Zero was the only one who remained near Yama and me.  “You’re lucky the younger boys were quick to save your ass,” he said.

He was right, but I didn’t need him lording it over me. “I suppose. I’m not sure what her interest in Yama was.”

Zero flashed one of his rare smiles. “I think she just likes cats. But I also think she’s curious about how the other side thinks and Yama pulled the rug out from under her a bit. I certainly wasn’t expecting an answer like that. Yama sure is…” Confusion tied his tongue for a moment as he looked over my shoulder.

I turned to find empty air where Yama had been. Across the deck, Mamoru had an arm draped across Yama’s shoulders and was saying something I needed to kill him for. I wasn’t close enough to hear what. I just knew he needed to die for it.

“Kodai!” I snapped, starting toward them. Zero sighed before trailing after me.

Susumu, who stood a few feet away as though trying not to be associated with his brother, still looked up alongside him.

“We’ve been over this!” I added when Mamoru didn’t let go of Yama.

For his part, Yama was caught somewhere between embarrassment and annoyance. He was tense as a breeze-blown sail and curling to the side much like one in an effort to get away from Mamoru.

That made it easy for me to snatch him away. Caught off balance, Yama stumbled into my chest with a squeak of surprise. I wrapped my arm around his back to hold him tight to me. The pounding of his heart pulsed in my head.

“He was just telling me about your upcoming wedding,” Mamoru said, flashing his usual smile. “Sounds like fun, but he doesn’t have any groomsmen picked out, and that’s tragic.”

“You’re not invited,” I said.

Mamoru’s grin broadened as Yama muttered into my shirt, “I already invited him.”

“He did save you back there, Harlock,” Zero added. “This is going to be one hell of a wedding, eh?”

The last thing I needed was half the damn vampire world at my wedding when half of them already hated me.

“Are you sure we can’t just have the war instead?” I asked.

Yama looked up at me with the least threatening pout I’d seen in my life. “No! We’re getting married, and I’ll make sure you write a letter to Promethium yourself. No wars!”

“I guess seeing you all dressed up as a groom will be worth it,” I sighed before leaning down to kiss him.

His angry retort became muffled whines until I pulled away to see him blushing so hard I could feel the heat radiating off his face.

“Nevermind,” he hissed. “We’re getting a divorce. I’m marrying Daiba.”

Smirking, I brushed another kiss to his forehead. “Your church doesn’t approve of divorces,” I breathed into his bangs, “so you’re stuck with me.”

“And you’re stuck with me!” he snapped.

“And I love you.”

With a huff, he pressed his face against my chest and grumbled a quiet, “Love you too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Who's ready for a wedding and a... honeymoon???


End file.
